What is Love
Introduction: According to legend there was a third century Christian who lived in Rome named Valentine. He was imprisoned during one of the periodic persecutions against Christians and was sentenced to death. While in prison, Valentine was able to gather violets outside his cell window. He sent them to his loved ones with the message, "Remember your Valentine." After his death he was canonized by the Catholic Church. So now we have "St. Valentine's Day," a day when we send cards to our loved ones asking them to remember us. (sermoncentral- Roddy Chestnut)
Ill. Today is Valentine's day and if this Valentine's Days is like those in the past, over $1 billion was spent on chocolate, $1 billion on cards, and 218 million roses were sold in the pursuit of or in an attempt to demonstrate love.
The Bible tells us that God sent the first Valentine. He showed what true love is. He demonstrated His love for you and me over 2000 years ago when He sent His One and Only Son to pay the price for your sins and mine.
Listen, God didn’t just love you enough to tell you about it. He didn’t just love you enough that He settled for having it written in the clouds by angels in flaming chariots. He didn’t love you enough that He stopped at sending you a love note, or a card, or calling you, He loved you enough that He sent His Son Jesus Christ.
You see, when it came to demonstrating love, FTD was not fragrant enough, Russel Stover was not sweet enough, and Hallmark couldn’t find words eloquent enough to show you. (sermoncentral- Gene Gregory)
That's Gods' love for you. What about your love for others?
Ill. A Peanuts cartoon shows Lucy standing with her arms folded and a stern expression on her face. Charlie Brown pleads, “Lucy, you must be more loving. This world really needs love. You have to let yourself love to make this world a better place.” Lucy angrily whirls around and knocks Charlie Brown to the ground. She screams at him, “Look, Blockhead, the world I love. Its people I can’t stand.”
You may be able to relate to Lucy, this world in general is easy to love but its loving others we have a difficult time with. Paul encountered a dysfunctional church in Corinth that was having similar problems. You might remember the Verizon commercial where the super muscular man is sitting down for an interview and says “makes me wonder what else I don't know.” the interviewer says you know you're supposed to work your lower body also and then you see this huge man with spaghetti sized legs. From the waist up he look like Schwarzenegger but from the waist down he looked like Steve Urkel. The Church in Corinth had problems one of which was that while they had spiritual gifts, they didn't have love – The body didn't match the head. - Paul shows them that without the foundation of love your spiritual gifts are meaningless.
Transition: We hear the word love so much that it almost loses its meaning. Today we are going to find what true love is. In Pauls 13th chapter of I Corinthians known as the Love chapter, Paul shows us what love is, first by showing the Priority of Love, then the Properties of Love, and he end by sharing the Capability of Love
The Priority of Love (v. 1-3)
Paul uses three examples to show the Priority of love. He has just showed the Corinthians how they should use their spiritual gifts but now he begins the 13th chapter by saying 'look, I can speak like the most eloquent poets among men or speak in tongues as beautiful as the angels all day long but if I don't have love, I'm nothing but a banging gong and clanging cymbal. All manner of speech or song is nothing but noise without love.
He says 'Even if I had the gift of prophecy and all the knowledge of the universe and could unlock every mystery that ever existed, or had the faith that could move mountains that Jesus spoke of, all of it is meaningless if I don't have love.
Even if I gave everything I own to the poor and was willing to sacrifice my own body to be burned for Christ, I gain nothing, if I don't have love. We can take everything we have and give it to charity and then throw heads on ISIS's chopping blocks, but if we don't have love in our hearts we are no different than ISIS. There is a case here in Oklahoma where a Muslim man pleaded guilty to beheading a person and wanted to die for his cause in Islam. If we are willing to die for Christ but have hatred instead of love in our hearts we don't gain a single thing for it.
How important is love? It renders all our gifts, intentions, talents, abilities, and our words as well as our works meaningless without it. Without love we are no different than the world. We may have full knowledge and understanding of the scriptures and may even be willing to share it but without love you rob the gospel of its power because you rob the gospel of its meaning. God so loved the world he gave his son for us to live forever, we so love this message we share this hope with others.
Transition: We see Paul explains the Priority of Love, next Paul explains the Properties of Love
The Properties of Love (v. 4-6)
Love is Patient - In verse 4, we read that Love is patient. Love doesn't fly off the handle and go berserk when it doesn't get what it wants. It doesn't lose its temper easily. You must love your fellow Christians. But you will find that even the best of Christians will still try your patience, because like you, they are not perfect. True Love doesn't say “I'll give you just one more chance and that's it!” No. Love weathers the abuse of many storms. It is like the picture we often see of the lighthouse in the ocean that is constantly pounded with huge waves and still stands strong. The King James says “suffereth long” which is a much better what to say it. Because that means even though provoked we endure patiently. Love doesn't retaliate. Love doesn't know revenge. Today we think that there is some kind of virtue in “getting even” for the sake of justice, but the opposite is true, there is virtue in forgiveness not revenge. If anyone deserved justice it was the family members and church members of those who were shot and killed in South Carolina Bible Study. But they were filled with overwhelming forgiveness that amazed the world.
Ill. One of Abraham Lincoln's most outspoken political enemies was a man named Edwin J. Stanton. Stanton called Lincoln a “low cunning clown” and the “original gorilla”. He even said this, “It is ridiculous for people to go to Africa to see a gorilla, when they could find one easily in Springfield, Illinois.” To Lincoln's credit, he never responded to these insults. Because he was a man who tried to see the best in every person. In fact, when he was elected President, Lincoln chose Stanton to be his Secretary of War. When asked why, Lincoln said, “because he is the best man!” Later, when Lincoln had been assassinated, Stanton stood by the coffin which contained Lincoln's body and said through his tears, “There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen.” Patient love won this hard man over in the end!
Love is Kind – Love is kind. Kindness is seen in what we do. Someone gives you their place in line because you just have one thing and they have a basket full. We say that is kindness. If someone knows you are discouraged and they say something nice to lift you up that is kindness. David Jeremiah asks a probing question “what do these words have in common with “love”? address, report, dream, risk, force, joke, plan, yawn, shape, peel, work, hammer, fly, loan, tour, whisper, and judge. These words are both verbs and nouns. Love is best understood by what it does, by its actions, because Love is an action, not an emotion. It shows what it is by its kindness
Love is Not jealous or envious. - In stead of being jealous of those who do well in life, love is happy to see others prosper. In stead of being displeased with the success of others, we should desire the success of others.
Jealousy hears the good said of another person and says “yes but . . . they have many faults too. Here is just some of them. When Love hears the faults rumored of others it says “yes, but . . . there must be a simple explanation for it, if I was in that situation I may have done a whole lot worse.”
Jealousy is what put Daniel in the lions den and put Joseph in the pit. Its the reason the Pharisees put Jesus on the cross. Its one of the worst sins that we can harbor in our hearts! The best way to cure envy is to pray for the one whom you are jealous of. To pray for the good of someone is the opposite of envy and the two can not exist in the same heart so over time that envy/jealousy will disappear.
Love is Not arrogant/proud – This phrase means “does not make a parade” Love doesn't try to draw attention to itself. It doesn't say “Look at me!” “look at me!” That's why Jesus said about giving do not let your left hand know what they right hand is doing. Love doesn't draw attention to what its doing so others will praise us for it. The term arrogant is said to refer to grasping for power. It is more serious than bragging, which is just grasping for praise. Arrogant people push themselves into leadership using others as stepping stones to get where they want. Pride shows a disdain for others, whereas love shows grace, mercy, and compassion for others.
Love is Not rude, unseemly, or unbecoming – Love is not friendly one day and rude the next. True love always elevates Jesus and never diminishes him. There are some people who get a lot of praise for being blunt. They are just 'telling it like it is' Some Christians do the same thing and justify it by saying “I'm just calling it the way I see it.” but love doesn't always tell it like it is; it doesn't have instantly its mouth what is in its mind, especially if the result is hurt feelings and not encouragement. Love is gracious and has tact and politeness to it.
Love does not seek its own – True Love doesn't seek its own. Love doesn't insist on having its rights. In a marriage relationship. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant. A contract focuses on our rights whereas a covenant focuses on our responsibility. One of the biggest complaints from married couples is that their spouse is selfish and they wish that they were as “unselfish” like themselves.
Ill. C.S. Lewis said in 'The Screwtape Letters “A woman means by unselfishness, chiefly taking trouble for others; (when) a man (says unselfish he) means not giving trouble to others . . . thus, while the woman thinks of doing good and the man of respecting other people's rights, each sex, without any obvious unreason, can and does regard the other as radically selfish.”
Ironically, we usually want others to be unselfish for selfish reasons. We live in a selfish world. If love and joy and peace are fruits of the spirit then Selfishness would be the main fruit of the flesh. It shouldn't be any surprise to see it in the world. But Christians are known by our love, it is what separates us from the world. Christ like love is not possessive, demanding, stubborn, or dominating. Love listens more than talks. Love does not insist that everything must be on its terms, or having its own way but if it sees there is no wrong in it, it always defers to the desires of others.
Ill. Why do toymakers watch the divorce rate? When it rises, so do toy sales. According to the analyzers, four parents and eight grandparents tend to compete for children's affections, so buy toys. (sermonillustrations.com)
Before we pray to see love in others, we need to pray that others would see love in us. Its our own selfishness that wants to see others love (whether its a child, a parent, a spouse, or a friend) because we would benefit by receiving it. Love doesn't look for ways to be served, but looks for ways to serve. Love doesn't give love so that it can receive love, because love doesn't seek its own. In short, it just loves.
Love is not provoked or easily angered – True Love is only angry at that which angers God. Now the key word is “easily”. Do you know those who you must handle with kid gloves for fear of offending them. You know that their reaction will be so over-the-top it isn't worth the headache or heartache to address a sensitive subject. One translation says “love is not touchy.” There are those who are so easily angered that you have to walk on eggs shells around them and avoid talking with them and when you can't avoid it any longer you have to measure every word you say because if you don't, whatever you say may be turned and twisted into something you didn't mean and used to make you look bad. This type of person doesn't understand anything about agape love. Because love is not provoked or touchy.
Love thinks no evil- some version say keeps no record of wrongs or wrongs suffered. The point is that love isn't suspicious. It doesn't see a sinister side to every person it meets. We assume people are like ourselves and if we assume everyone has evil intentions what does that say about us? Love doesn't catalog all the bad things that has happened to it. You could say I come from a family of book keepers, but I know people who are expert book keepers in keeping all the wrongs, slights, faults, misdeeds they have sustained in their lives. Love doesn't keep post it notes on its desk of every wrong suffered. Love doesn't see every action in a negative light. It thinks the best of everyone. It doesn't dwell on every word and action as if that word or action must have evil intentions.
Usually what bad thing we think happened never took place. Most of our hurts are only perceived.
Spurgeon said “The worst evils of life are those which exist only in our imagination”
True Love does not: 1. Have a list of every wrong that has ever happened. 2. Believe every bad thing that it hears about another person. 3. Look for faults in others and then publish them before people like the national enquirer. You can see how true love would solve 90% of every church problem.
Love does not rejoice in evil or iniquity – As strange as it sounds there is one thing love hates; Love hates sin. Love does not rejoice in our sins, nor in the sins of other people. Whether we admit it or not there is a part of us that rejoices when good men fall, because we think that makes us look better. Instead of passing by the injured man and looking with scorn, like the Levites and others, the good Samaritan, picks him up and carries as far as it is needed. Love does not rejoice in sin. We are naturally drawn to the train wreck. We are scared to walk outside because all we see on the news is murder, death, and pandemics, etc. We see natural disasters, war, conflict, riots, murder trials, and tragedy that pulls our attention to it. Love doesn't do that – it takes no pleasure in the sins, evils, iniquities, moral failures of others. Instead love rejoices when truth wins the day. That is why we read next that it rejoices in the truth.
Transition: Paul began showing us the Priority of Love, then follows it with the properties of love and concludes by showing us the capability of Love.
The Capability of Love (v. 7)
I like the way the New King James renders verse seven. That Love:
“bears all things” - The literal meaning of this word is 'to cover'. True love refuses to see faults, unless to help in their removal. Love has no wish to see faults in others.
Noahs younger son discovered and declared the shame of his father, but his other sons walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father: In the same way love deals with the sins of her brethren. Love is aware of the wrongs but it will ignore it as long as it can and hope no one sees it either.
Love covers. That means it doesn't reveal the secret errors of good men. There are gossips who themselves did not find a fault in the brother or sister but came across the fault and shared the news with anyone who would listen. Wouldn't it be great if these same people were as eager to spread the gospel as they are eager to spread gossip?
Love does not criticize in public. I cringe when I see couple fighting in public. Whether it is a husband saying mean things to his wife or his wife making snide remarks to her husband. As one person said “there have been many times I was sorry I opened my mouth, but I have never been sorry for being quiet.” when it comes to criticism of others, you never have to apologize for what you didn't say. Spurgeon said “There is so much dirty linen in our own house needing to be washed that none of us need to take in our neighbors washing.”
I Peter 4:8 says that love covers a multitude sins. The word 'cover' is in association with a hut or cabin. It is the shelter that bears the wind, the rain, the hail, the snow, and the heat of the sun, protecting what is behind it. Like Noah's two sons, Love does not want to see their loved ones sin and they don't want anyone else to see it either, so it protects those things and keeps them secret and restores them instead of broadcasting to everyone. Love covers a multitude of sins, by being silent about them, and does what it can to restore that person and then acts as if they never happened and continues to love in spite of those things.
Ill. An example of this kind of love comes to us from the history of England. During the reign of Oliver Cromwell, a soldier had been sentenced to die. His fiancé pleaded with Cromwell to spare his life, but the great ruler refused. The young soldier was to be executed when the curfew bell sounded, but when the bell-ringer pulled the rope, there was no sound. His fiance' had climbed into the bell tower and wrapped her body around the clapper, thus preventing the bell from sounding. Although she was battered and her body bruised and smashed, she managed to climb down. When she stood before Cromwell and told him what she had done, he was so impressed with her devotion, that he immediately commuted the soldier's sentence. Love beareth all. (sermonillustrations.com)
“believes all things”. Love sees the best in people even if there is none there. In this sense love is blind. Love always allows for extenuating circumstances, always giving a person the benefit of the doubt, to believe the best about people. We have seen and heard so many stories about how helping someone led to murder, or that we should always have a legal document for everything or else we will be robbed. But suspicion can be worse than gullibility. We can become so paranoid that we begin to treat everyone we know with: “You are guilty until you prove yourself innocent.” That is not what love does. Love believes all things. You may have backslidden family members or church members, keep praying for them and don't give up, because love believes all things. It believes that good will triumph in every situation eventually.
“hopes all things”. Love always holds out hope that things will work out in the end.
Ill. More than two decades ago, a newborn sick with fever was snatched from a New York City hospital, her frantic mother returning to the emergency room to find an empty crib. On Wednesday, police said the baby — now a woman who reached out to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children because she suspected that the people raising her were not her real family — has been found.
Carlina White was just 19 days old when she disappeared from Harlem Hospital on Aug. 4, 1987. Police searched for her kidnappers but never found enough evidence to charge any suspects. Her mother, Joy White, always had a feeling that her baby was alive, her family said.
"I never gave up looking for her," she told the New York Post.
She said she just felt internally that she never belonged to the people raising her and reached out to authorities for help. They performed a DNA test and confirmed her suspicion and then connected her with her birth mother. Upon seeing her 23 year old daughter Joy White said “She didn't even seem like a stranger she just fit right in. She enthusiastically said their reunion was “magic!” Love hopes all things. I wonder how many times the enemy told her that her daughter was dead or that she was alive but would never come back? But Love is stronger than the enemy and never gives up on people, because love hopes all things.
“endures all things”. This is military phraseology. It means to keep the fort at all costs, even at the cost of death. Think of Davy Crocket and the Alamo. Love stares down entire armies and every great force that bears down on and fights hard against it. Love keeps the fort. Love weathers the storm. Love endures persecution, love endures ill treatment, love endures shame, love endures mockery, love endures sin. Love stands its ground and refuses to give it up. Love holds like a vice grip on to the people it loves and refuses to give them over to the enemy. Love prays and prays and prays and prays. Love perseveres and never gives up. And ends his message by showing the immunity of love in verses 8 and 13.
Love never fails – Love never fails. Love is immune to hatred, evil, jealousy and fear. I John 4:18 says Perfect love casts out fear. Paul bookends his points about love by going back to where he began that while all your gifts are important for the church and growing God kingdom, your gifts are only temporary and once they are no longer needed the only thing that will remain is love. Love bears the unbearable, believes the impossible, hopes the incredible, and endures the unstoppable.
Conclusion: The same word that Paul uses in verse 8 is a synonym for the word he uses in the last verse of this chapters, verse 13 – love abides. Paul is saying that Love never fails because love never ends. I John 4:8 says that God is love. Love never fails because God never fails. Love is eternal. He ends the chapter by saying “And now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Love has hope and faith in it. When you have this one grace you have the other two graces with it.
The word Agape seems to be exclusive to Christianity. There is only one real example of 'Agape' love and it is found on the Cross of Calvary. It is our duty to understand it, appreciate it, and practice it all of our Christian lives. Whether in a marriage, friendship, family relationship, and with fellow Christians, when all sides are giving love then all sides are receiving love and makes every Christian relationship what God intended every relationship to be.
