God’s Not Grey
Scott Bayles, pastor
Blooming Grove Christian Church: 2/15/2015
If yesterday was like Valentine's Days of the past, over $1 billion was spent on chocolate, 180 million cards were exchanged, and 196 million roses were sold! Unless you’re Charlie Brown, you’ve probably given and received some special valentines in your life. You’ve probably had some things wrapped in red foil or a heart-shaped box. Or maybe you’ve stood at a florist’s counter trying to decide on a “just right” arrangement of roses. Even a Snickers looks better if it’s got a red ribbon around it. Valentine’s Day offers us the opportunity to say “I love you” in elegant, ornamental ways.
Sadly, this Valentine’s Day also marked a new low in our cultural comprehension of love. By now you’ve heard of the book or the movie, 50 Shades of Grey. There is no denying that the books and movie are having a huge impact on our culture. Book sales passed $100 million in November. One of the fastest selling series of all times, it passed The Da Vinci Code and is swiftly catching up to books series like Harry Potter and Twilight. The movie opened yesterday to sold-out audiences. But it’s not really a Valentine’s Day movie. It’s not simply a love story. It’s not sweet or romantic. The story centers on a complex and creepy sexual relationship. Its messages are disturbing and even degrading, especially to women.
As a pastor my gut reaction to books or movies like this is to ignore it and hope it goes away. But I think that this phenomenon points to a deeper problem with our culture. When I watch TV, browse the internet, or scan magazines in the checkout lanes, it’s clear that our world has embraced a distorted view of love. Some of us are as confused about love as little five-year-old Kari who told her teacher, “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
Let’s be honest, relationships aren’t easy. My wife and I muddle our way through marriage half the time. This week I read of a husband and wife having an argument. At one point, out of sheer frustration, the husband blurted out, “Honey, I don’t know why God made you so beautiful...and, yet, so stupid, at the same time!” After a moment of painful silence, the wife finally responded, “I’ll you why. God made me BEAUTIFUL so you would love me. And God made me STUPID so I would love you!”
When it comes to love, all of us could use a little help.
The popularity of 50 Shades of Grey actually sets up the church with an opportunity to engage the culture; an opportunity to step into the grey and share God’s message of love with a lost and confused world. I titled today’s sermon God’s Not Grey because His love is written in black and white.
You see, when it came to expressing God’s love, FTD was not fragrant enough, chocolate was not sweet enough, and Hallmark couldn’t find the words. Rather, God’s Valentine to us is found in Scripture—1 Corinthians 13. Some of the most profound words ever scrawled about love are inscribed in this chapter of the Bible. I’m convinced that the words of this chapter can help us define and develop a love truly worth having and giving at Valentine’s Day and every day.
First, God’s Valentine speaks of the priority of love.
• THE PRIORITY OF LOVE
Love is important. The apostle Paul begins this beloved chapter of the Bible, saying, “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-2 NLT).
In other words, without love, nothing else matters. A life without love is like a rainbow without colors or a sunset with no sun. As Leonardo Da Vinci put it, “A life without love, is no life at all.” I think Jesus would have agreed with Da Vinci.
Jesus was all about love. He commands his followers to love each other, to love our neighbors, and even to love our enemies. In fact, when asked which of God’s commands was the most important, Jesus answered, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40 NLT). More than anything else, Jesus urges us to love God and love people. These two commands summarize all of Scripture. They course through the Bible like a heartbeat.
On the eve of his crucifixion, Jesus gathered his disciples together for one last meal and one last conversation. Over the course of the evening, as recorded in John 13-17, Jesus used the L-word no less than 32 times. Over and over he reiterates, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35 NIV).
It’s clear that love was Jesus’ highest priority. It should be ours too. My old pastor often said, “Life is all about who you love and who loves you in return.” If you learn nothing else today, learn this: life is about love!
It doesn’t matter how many degrees you earn or how many plaques decorate your wall if you don’t love God. It doesn’t matter how successful you are or how much money you make if you don’t love your neighbor. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish, accumulate, or achieve if you do it without love. Love is essential to a life well-lived. Make love your priority.
Furthermore, these verses offer a portrait of love.
• THE PORTRAIT OF LOVE
It’s not enough to make love our highest priority is we don’t understand what real love looks like. 50 Shades of Grey and other similar romance novels along with the pornography industry, paint a distorted picture of love. But in 1 Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul paints a beautiful portrait of real love. He writes, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).
Paul employs a kaleidoscope of colors and hues to describe of the spectrum of love. In the original Greek, all fifteen of the terms Paul utilizes are verbs. What this means is that love is not simply a feeling, or an abstraction or passive; love is active. Love is only love when it acts. In other words, love isn't just a fleeting feeling or a fickle emotion that flickers with the candlelight then vanishes. It’s the conscious choice to be polite (because love is not rude), self-sacrificing (because love is not self-seeking), slow to anger (because love is not easily angered) and quick to forgive (because love keeps no record of wrongs). This is what real love looks like.
Unfortunately, as we leap from verb to verb, we discover a standard that none of us live up to. Often times, when performing a wedding, I’ll challenge couples to replace the word love in this passage with their own names. Have you ever tried that? “Scott is patient. Scott is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud…” Sadly, I couldn’t make through all four verses without lying about myself. I’ll bet you can’t either. This passage paints a portrait of love that none of us can match.
None, that is, except Jesus.
Plug the name of Christ into these verses and every word still rings true. Jesus is patient. Jesus is kind. He’s doesn’t envy, he doesn’t boast, he’s not proud. He’s not rude, or self-seeking, or easily angered. He keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Jesus is the only one of us who resembles the portrait Paul paints. That’s why Jesus urges us, “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Live within my love!” (John 15:9 TLB). Here Jesus reveals the secret to loving God and others—living loved. Receive the love of Jesus. Live in his love. Let the love of God saturate your heart. His love can fill your heart and spill into every part of your life. Imagine that. Imagine living your life with his heart. Wouldn’t you be more patient with your kids? More kind to your spouse? Less envious of the neighbors? Less boastful at work? Focus your mind’s eye until you have a clear picture of the love of Jesus leading your life. Now snap the shutter and frame the picture. This is what real love looks like.
Finally, 1 Corinthians 13 emphasizes the permanence of love.
• THE PERMANENCE OF LOVE
Someone once said, “Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.”
I think Paul would have agreed. He closes his chapter on love with these words: “Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end!” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8 GWT). Real love doesn’t give up when life gets tough. Real love doesn’t walk away just because it’s easier. It perseveres through all the trials and troubles of life. Another translation sums it up this way: “Love never fails!”
Sadly, we do. As flawed human beings, we fail to love. Quite often.
I’m reminded of a solider stationed overseas who received a “dear John” letter from his fiancé back home. Not only did she break up with him, but she told him that she’d met someone else and was marrying another man. Then writes, “Please send me the photo I gave you when you deployed. It’s my favorite picture of myself and I’d like to give it my new fiancé.” This heartbroken fella shared the letter with his brothers-in-arms who came up with a plan. Every man in the barracks donated a picture of his girlfriend and placed them in a shoebox. They then mailed all the photos to his new ex, along with a note that read: “I’m sending your picture back to you. Please remove it from the box and send back the rest. For the life of me I can’t remember which one you are.”
Fortunately, God’s love is more permanent than ours. He’s never going to send you a “Dear John” letter or ask you to return his photo.
Max Lucado, in his book Just Like Jesus, describes God’s love like this: “God’s love never ceases. Never. Though we spurn him. Ignore him. Reject him. Disobey him. He will not change. Our evil cannot diminish his love. Our goodness cannot increase it. Our faith does not earn it any more than our stupidity jeopardizes it. God doesn’t love us less if we fail or more if we succeed. God’s love never ceases.”
The Apostle Paul, in his book Romans, puts it this way: “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39 NLT).
Others may promise and fail, but God’s love never fails. God loves you with an unconditional, unrelenting, unfailing love. God’s love never stops, never runs out, never gives up. His love never comes to an end.
Conclusion:
Despite what Hollywood might want us to believe, real love isn’t selfish or sadistic; rather love is selfless and sacrificial.
I read a story this week, about Aleida Huissen. At age 78 Aleida has been smoking for 50 years. And for 50 years she has been trying to give up her harmful habit. But she hasn’t had much success—that is, until recently. Last year, she suddenly and successfully gave up cigarettes, cigars, and pipes. Her secret? Leo Jansen, age 79, asked her to marry him. But he refused to go through with the wedding until Aleida gave up smoking. In an interview with the local paper Aleida said, “Will power never was enough to get me off the tobacco habit. But LOVE did it.” Isn’t, that cute!
God’s love is like that. When it gets into you, it changes you. His love—if you’ll let it—can fill your heart and give you a love worth sharing on Valentine’s Day or any day!
Invitation:
Are you low on love? Do you long to be more loving? It may be that you’re trying to give what you’ve never received. So I want invite you to experience God’s perfect love—embrace it, let it wrap around you like a warm blanket, and start living in the overflow of God’s love today. If I can help you with that, then please talk with me while we stand and sing.
