OH BOY, IT’S THAT SERMON
1 PETER 3:1-7
INTRODUCTION… Sermoncentral.com illustration contributed by Rob Morton
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says "I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.
"She said, ’get out from under the bed and fight like a man’."
Hopefully you find that funny. The subject that we are talking about this morning is one that often gets people angry and is one that is touchy for many people. The key word today is “submission.” There, I said it. I started my sermon out by using a dirty word. Some of you might think it is a dirty word anyway. Let’s read the passage from Scripture that also uses the dirty word of the day. We need to understand before we read this difficult passage that we as believers in Jesus Christ believe that the Word of God describes how life works best.
READ 1 Peter 3:1-7
“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
I. SUBMISSION DEFINED
The word “submit” in the Bible means “to arrange under”, “to subordinate”, “to submit to one’s control”, “to obey.” Submission is not just an eternal principle or Godly quality only talked about in 1 Peter. Romans 13, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Timothy 2, and Hebrews 13 are all various chapters that speak about submission in the life of a believer in Jesus Christ. We should realize that for two chapters now the Apostle Peter has been telling us that we are “aliens and strangers” in this world (1 Peter 1:1, 1:17, 2:11) and so to those who do not have the Spirit of God living inside of them, such talk makes no sense and it seems odd. Submission challenges a culture that gives men or people in authority ultimate power. That's countercultural even today. Nobody wants to yield the right of way. Submission isn't the answer we like. It's not the answer we wanted, but it is the Godly answer to the constant frustration and anger we have in our relationships. There is no other way. Submission cuts against the grain. Your family or your friends may not understand your desire or practice of submission, but you and your spouse don't follow the culture, you follow Christ. The Quest Study Bible has a note which says, “A submissive spirit runs counter to society's values and it always has. However, it remains God's standard for all believers—male and female—for all time.”
As we are defining submission, you should know that Biblical submission takes place in the church and in the home. Women being submissive to men, as we will get into in a few minutes, are commands about our homes and our church family… it has nothing to do with business, politics, or supervision at work. The other thing we should know is that submission is not a personality trait. Strong people with type A go-getter personalities can be submissive. Biblical submission as it is described in the Bible is a Godly choice.
I was reading through verses on submission and I discovered that even Jesus Christ exemplified the idea of submission. Hebrews 5:7-9 says, “During the days of Jesus' life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the One who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission. 8 Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from what He suffered 9 and, once made perfect, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him.” Jesus Christ our Savior had as part of His personality and way of life reverent submission to God. Drawing on all of the Biblical passages about submission, let’s define this word properly.
SUBMISSION IS PERSONAL
Submission is a doctrine you apply to yourself. We do not see Scriptures say, “Masters tell your slaves to submit” or "Husbands, tell your wife to submit"—or, "Wives, tell your husband to step up in submission to Christ and be spiritual head of the home." Instead, each passage speaks to each person and commands each of us to work on our own submissive attitude in the relationships we are in. Submission is a goal for each of us to develop in ourselves as we walk with Christ.
SUBMISSION IS SPIRITUAL
Unless you're filled with the Spirit of God, it makes zero sense to submit to another person because it is a spiritual quality of a person. Why would you ever do that? For example, in Ephesians 5:18 Paul tells the Ephesians to be “filled with the Spirit” and in 5:21 the expression and outgrowth of the presence of the Spirit is, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Submission is spiritual and is not our natural tendency.
SUBMISSION IS INCLUSIVE
The Bible overall teaches us that there is a spiritual order set up by God. God is the Father. Jesus Christ is the Son. Men submit to the authority and headship of God and Christ. Women submit to the spiritual authority of their husbands. Children submit to their parents. Women and men are equal in value, but different in function. We often equate function and worth. God simply does not. His decision is not reflective of value or even ability, but is a practical decision which leads to functionality. Things are dysfunctional with two bosses.
When Paul writes in Ephesians 5, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," he is saying that men should follow the example of Jesus who endured the whip, the thorns, and the nails for our benefit. Women then should submit to those husbands that are submitting to Christ and are the spiritual leaders. It is true that Paul asks people to submit in different ways depending on their role. All people are in submission to Someone.
SUBMISSION IS MORAL
One reason people see submission as very wrong is that it is often treated as an absolute law. Submission means you often give up your desires, but submission doesn't mean you give up your brain. It doesn't mean that if the person you're submitting to wants to do something illegal, you can do it and say before God, "Hey, I was just submitting to my authority." Submission doesn't mean you go along when you're being asked to do something that violates Scripture or your conscience.
ILLUSTRATION: Wife Taken for Granted Too Long, Citation: Robert Leslie Holmes, God’s Man
A man accompanied his friend home for dinner and was impressed by the way he entered his house, asked his wife how her day went, and told her she looked pretty. Then, after they embraced, she served dinner. After they ate, the husband complimented his wife on the meal and thanked her for it. When the two fellows were alone, the visitor asked, "Why do you treat your wife so well?" "Because she deserves it, and it makes our marriage happier," replied the host.
Impressed, the visitor decided to adopt the idea. Arriving home, he embraced his wife and said, "You look wonderful!" For good measure he added, "Sweetheart, I’m the luckiest guy in the world." His wife burst into tears. Bewildered, he asked her, "What in the world’s the matter?" She wept, "What a day! Billy fought at school. The refrigerator quit and spoiled the groceries. And now you’ve come home drunk!”
II. “IN THE SAME WAY”
The passage that we just read speaks about “submission.” One of the other key phrases that occurs in these verses is the phrase “in the same way.” You will find that phrase in verse 1 and you will find that phrase in verse 7. The phrase “in the same way” refers to what came before and creates a chain of truth for us to follow as we unpack submission.
IN THE SAME WAY: “WIVES”
The first “in the same way” in verse 1 talks about submission, but it refers back to 1 Peter 2 to the last time that the Apostle Peter mentioned the word “submit.” In 1 Peter 2:18, Peter says: “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.” We read that last week. The eternal principle of submission is laid out for us and it works in all situations. In 1 Peter 2, Peter tells those who live as slaves that they are to submit to their masters and give respect to those that are of good character and to those that are of poor character.
In 1 Peter 3, the Apostle Peter is continuing his divinely inspired thoughts on submission. Peter says that “in the same way” slaves are to give respect to good and poor masters, wives are to be submissive to their husbands. Let’s reread verses 1-2:
RE-READ 1 PETER 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
We should note that Peter does not give wives an “out” of submitting if your husband acts like a jerk. It does not give an “out” when he makes mistakes. It does not give wives an “out” when he leads the family poorly. In fact, the apostle builds on his previous command to slaves and applies the same principles to wives. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands in all situations and he does not seem to give an exception. I would say to women who have experienced harsh masters that the earthly authority is not a reflection of Christ. They are of great value to God.
I find it interesting that the submissiveness of the wife is seen as strength in the Scriptures. Peter tells us in verse 1 that a Christian woman living out her faith in submission to her husband is a powerful evangelistic tool. There is no greater tool to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ than someone actually living out what they profess to believe. Peter says that unbelieving husbands can be shown the power of the Gospel through the lives of their wives. The wife submits to the husband out of respect and reverence for God. That is powerful.
Living submissive because of faith is a powerful evangelistic tool, but does not give men and women the right to disobey other Scriptures such as not being “unequally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14). You cannot, as a believer, marry whomever you want and decide you hope God converts him later. You will find that no where in Scripture. As a side note, I would like you all to know that I take marrying people seriously. As your minister, I will not knowingly marry two people who are “unequally yoked.” They either need to be both believers, both unbelievers, or both fooling themselves about their faith. I will not marry and believer and an unbeliever even if the end result may be blessed by God with the salvation of one of the spouses.
I also notice something else with wives and submission in these verses. Verse 4 points something out very important. 1 Peter 3:4 says:
RE-READ 1 PETER 3:4
4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Who finds it beautiful that a woman is submissive? Who encourages this gentle and quiet spirit? Who finds it of great worth in His sight that a woman is submissive to her husband? God does. Make no mistake, the Apostle Peter lays out that when a woman is submissive to her husband she builds up the favor of God and she gains worth in His sight. We must understand that God expects us to be His child first and then all other relationships take a place. Women who are believers are daughters of God first, wives second, and mothers third. When that priority gets out of order, then chaos exists.
IN THE SAME WAY: “HUSBANDS”
The second “in the same way” in verse 7 talks about submission, but it refers back to the beginning of 1 Peter 3 which then links back to Peter’s use in 1 Peter 2. Let’s re-read what the Apostle Peter has to say to men who are husbands:
RE-READ 1 PETER 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
The phrase “in the same way” brings the truths we have already talked about and adds it to the submission men must have and then he adds to it. What does this mean? In the Bible, keeping Romans 13, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Timothy 2, and Hebrews 13 and even this passage in mind, we see that men are given the responsibility as the heads of the household. Men must submit to God and Christ so that salvation comes to their whole household through their example and leadership. It is the responsibility of men in the home to pass on faith. It is no one else’s responsibility. Men, the Bible says you are the spiritual leaders of the home. Period. There is no exception.
Peter also says to us that as the leader in the home, we are to treat our wives with respect. Peter even says they are heirs with us in faith. Yet, we are the leader. It is our job as men to spiritually lead the women in our homes into an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ. It is our job as men to spiritually lead the children and grandchildren in our homes into an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ. It is not anyone else’s job, but ours. As men are living submissively to God and Christ, we then are leading with consideration, respect, grace, and generosity.
I would like you to notice the last phrase Peter says in verse 7. I happen to think it is a scary part of the verse. What happens if a man decides not to lead his family spiritually? What happens if the man decides to not treat his wife with respect and honor? What happens if he does not lead his children spiritually? The last part of verse 7 says that our prayers will be “hindered.” Men, if you don’t lead correctly, your relationship with God will be affected.
III. PRACTICAL WAYS OF SUBMISSION
All this talk about submission and I think it is very important that we know what it practically looks like. Keeping in mind Romans 13, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Timothy 2, Hebrews 13, and 1 Peter 3 that we looked at today, I would like to give you some practical things that come to mind when we think about submission.
MEN
Submission means you have to be reading God’s Word and studying it. If not, you cannot be a spiritual leader that knows God’s will and follows it.
Submission means it is your job to get your family to church to worship, study, and fellowship with believers.
Submission means you lead prayer in your home.
Submission means when your wife or children have spiritual questions, you answer them. If you don’t know the answer, you pray, study, and ask a more seasoned believer for help.
Submission means when it comes time to make decisions, you diligently pray for Godly wisdom and make decisions based on God’s will and not feelings or logic or what you think is good and right.
Submission means you treat your wife the way God commands: respect, honor, and patience.
Submission to God means creating a culture of forgiveness and grace in your home.
WOMEN
Submission means allowing and encouraging your husband to take the lead spiritually with you, your children and grandchildren.
Submission means seek your husband’s advice and opinions on decisions and you follow what he says.
Submission means listening to your husband’s decisions and following them even if they are wrong.
Submission means treating your husband with respect in words and in deeds.
Submission means not creating an adversarial relationship in the home where you are the ultimate authority and he is also the ultimate authority in all matters.
TEENS AND CHILDREN
Submission means asking your dad and mom about spiritual questions and purposefully ignoring what your friends say.
Submission means obeying your parents and not having attitude when things are decided opposite to your liking.
Submission means praying for your father and mother that they have good relationships with God which will affect how they raise you.
Submission means honoring your parents in how you speak to them and in how you speak about them to your friends and your other family members.
SUMMARY
God is the author of life. His description and prescription about how life should be is what we should follow because He absolutely knows what is best. Our lives work best when we are all in submission to the will of God led by men who are willfully and consistently listening to God’s voice who are partnered with women who are submissive to their husbands as encouraging godly helpmates with children who honor and obey their parents. This is the kind of life God describes in His Word. This is the kind of living that makes us stick out as aliens and strangers in this world.
(Point #1 relies heavily on www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2008/september/whats-so-scary-about-submission.html)
