HOW TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE!
We are bombarded with the subtle attempts of our culture to get you to soften your guard.
•Just go to your local theater and watch the silver screen and all you have to do is cut away at the heart pounding music and the suave acting along with the glamorous photography and you basically are watching folks at your local theater committing out and out adultery.
•As if that were not enough, we bring it unto our homes while watching the latest TV program.
•We have over time have become morally desensitized to the sexual perversion that is prevalent in your culture
Over the years I have worked with many families and especially married couples. It is inevitable that at some given point couples will go thru some problem.
There may be patches of boredom, financial strain, lack of passion, desperation and anger.
Couples will try to put a little tang in their relationship. Some couples will struggle with moments of sexual temptation.
I have even heard so called pundits of marriage coaches espouse that an extra marital affair might be helpful for your marriage.
Do we really want to send out a mix message that a little extra marital affair is dandy if it makes you happy as long as you don’t get caught.
•I know some of you may be uncomfortable. I also know that what I am saying is not fashionable and is not politically correct. But the Bible has never been concerned about political correctness.
•And if movies and magazines and messages that condone adultery are fine with you then you need to be a little bit offended today by what I say.
Because the Bible says something quite different. The Bible says that adultery dishonors God. Sexuality is God’s creation for intimacy in marriage. It is God’s designed vehicle for celebrating and strengthening the marriage covenant.
God’s plan for marriage is oneness. God gave man and women the appetite for sexual union to strengthen the marriage covenant and have real intimacy.
God who designed sex and marriage is displeased when sex is used to break rather than build the covenant of marriage
•Adultery abuses Gods symbol of pledged fidelity.
I Thessalonians 4:3-7 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.[b] The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
Hebrews 13:4-5 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Adultery destroys marriages. Just look at the story of David and Bathsheba. Before the story is over ---
An infant has died
A husband has been murdered
A family has been ripped apart
We know that society is made up of a union of families.
Communities do not thrive when families do not function.
Families do not function when marriages do not last
And marriages do not last when there is mistrust do to adultery.
That is why God said to Moses in giving the Ten Commandments, “Do not commit adultery”
One time a man wrote to dear Abby and said. I AM HAVING AN AFFAIR with two different women and I can’t marry them. Please tell me what to do but don’t give me any of that morality stuff.
Abby wrote back and said, “Dear Sir, The only difference in humans and animals is morality. Please write to a Veterinarian!
•Adultery brings pain:
Proverbs 5:1-5 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.
Proverbs 6:32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.
To get a handle on how to affair proof your marriage – let’s look at this guy name Joseph who was sold into slavery. He works now in Egypt for a man name Potiphar.
Genesis 39:6 -10;11-12 6 So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate. Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”
But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.
FOUR RULES TO FOLLOW IN AVOIDING TEMPTATION
I.TAKE A STAND BEFORE HAND!
Joseph had a conviction before he had a crisis! He had a previous commitment to live by God’s standard.
I Peter 1:15-16 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Joseph had predetermined his life was going to represent the moral character of God.
Illustrate: Here is the Holy Bible. Now what does that mean? There is nothing holy about the ink in it. But we would not poor beer on the Bible. Would I spit on the bible? Of course NOT! You see, there is some understanding about us that this book is from God. It is sacred and deserving of our highest respect.
Now the word of God says our body belongs to God and it is to be Holy because He is holy. Have you made a firm commitment in your marriage to God regarding sexual purity with just your mate?
Have you said before the CRISIS – before the temptation – this is who I am, this is who I am going to be!
This is about a man who took a stand before Hand
!! Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
The temptation did not make Joseph pure –His temptation revealed that he already was!
First Rule: Take a stand before hand!
II. NEVER GRIN AT SIN!
Maintaining purity means maintaining the capacity to be shocked by sin.
Joseph did not say, well let’s talk about this for a while.
He did not say, well Potiphers wife, I am really not in the mood.
He said, How can I do this wicked thing and sin against my God.
• Do you realize that adultery starts in the head before the Bed?
•In the battle for sexual purity the line of scrimmage is the mind
And if Satan can control mind – He can win the battle. That is why the bible says, to “Take every thought captive”
James 1:14-16 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.
You can’t put filth and all the stuff that glorifies adultery and not be affected . Satan is clever in taking the scandal out of Sin!
Psalm 101: 3 “I will not set before my eyes no sinful thing”
YOU CANNOT SOW VULGARITY AND REAP PURITY!cannot sow vulgarity and reap purity!
III. DON’T INSPIRE THE FIRE! Joseph refused to sleep with Potiphar’s wife
A third grade Sunday school teacher was going over the 10 commandment. When she got to the part where it said, “Do not commit adultery one of the children ask –what is adultery?The teacher responded, “Well when you are married to somebody it is very special and you should never act like you are married to somebody else.
It is wrong to arouse sexual desire to another person that you cannot righteously fulfill.
Ephesians 5:3 Since you are God's people, it is not right that any matters of sexual immorality or indecency or greed should even be mentioned among you.
Illustrate: Youth rallies: Pastor is it wrong for me to do this or that. The DASHBOARD
Take a stand before hand
Never grin a sin
Don’t inspire the fire
IV. BETTER TO RETREAT THAN DEFEAT!
Notice Joseph’s situation. Here he is being tempted by Potiphar’s wife. She said, come to bed with me.
The bible says he left the cloak in her hand and ran out of the house
•It is impossible for someone to sin with you when you are not there.
•When it comes to sexual temptation – the Bible doesn’t not say to deal with it by hanging around and reasoning it out.
•The bible does not say to fall down on your knees and say, let’s pray about this.
•The Bible does not say, in dealing with sexual temptation – well, let’s listen to a CD of one of Pastor Jim’s sermons
The bible says you deal with it by one method only –RUNNING
GET OUT OF THE SITUATION AND FAST!
I Corinthians 6:18-19 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you. You are not your own. You were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body
In some battles there is honor in retreat.
You cannot always avoid evil – but you can control where you confront it.
When it comes to dealing with adultery – the bedroom is not the place to pray for strength.
It demands drastic action. Leave your coat and run out of there.!
Notice the drastic action of Matthew 5 in the context of adultery. I take this scripture literally.
Matthew 5:29-30 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
You don’t see it much anymore but for years and years we watched the wide world of sports and saw that poor skier jumping. Remember him. “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” He was going down the jump so smooth and all the sudden he tumbled 5-6 times and he had a very hard spill.
You know the true story to that jump? He went off on purpose. What know body ever knew was that the ice had become so hard he realized that he was going to jump pass the safe landing slope area and would have landed in a hard area behind it and it would have been fatal.
He choose to go off the jump and spill and fall there instead of making a jump that could have cost him his life. A drastic and hard choice but it saved his life.
Saying NO saved Joseph. Now I must tell you that saying no too adultery is not easy at times.
The rest of the story is:
•She accused him of rape
•Joseph got thrown into prison and spent the next several years
•The Bible says God was with him and gave him success.
•God made marriage and honors the couple that honors marriage
One final thought:
I may be talking, in fact I know I am to those that have been cheated on and a sermon like this finds you facing those abandon moments of adultery. God will give you grace to endure.
Or you may be asking the question, what IF I HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY?
John 9:3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said.“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
If you have committed adultery you need to do four things!
Acknowledge honestly your sin to God – do not blame
If you are in an adulterous relationship you need to end the relationship and you must get drastic
Get a Christian counselor and get some Christian help by qualified people that honor Christian values Marriage.
Don’t give up on your marriage – Begin to rebuild!
For the rest – you are not cheating on your spouse but are you cherishing your mate?
• Husband, so you love your wife like Christ loved the Church?
• Wife’s do you respect your husbands and love him?
