How To Handle Discouragement
A few weeks ago I spoke about depression – today I want to speak about discouragement. When I think about depression – I would view it as a great pit – one that would take a massive amount of energy to escape. When I think about discouragement however – I would view it as a mud-puddle – one that probably all of us have walked through at one time or another. That is not to say that discouragement is any less damaging than depression. The problem arises when we live in the mud-puddle on a daily basis – it can ruin your life.
All of us need a certain amount of courage to make it through this life. But how often have you been discourage to try something? Someone will say, “O you could never do that.” – and so you don’t try.
But did you know that discouragement is extremely dangerous? Let me tell you why:
First, because it’s universal. It is found around the world. We all get discouraged. I do, you do, we all do. Discouragement is common and because it is common we don’t realize how deadly it can be.
Second, because it’s recurring. You can get discouraged one day and overcome it – yet tomorrow you’re in the same boat – discouraged again. It’s not just a one-time thing.
Third, because it’s highly contagious. Other people are discouraged and so you get discouraged. And because you’re discouraged other people get discouraged. It turns into a vicious cycle.
Perhaps that is why the Bible says:
“Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today." Hebrews 3:13a (NASB)
Discouragement can be devastating – but the good news is that discouragement can be overcome.
A story from the book of Nehemiah illustrates the danger of discouragement. You recall that Nehemiah was a leader of the Jewish group that had returned to Israel from Babylon to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. They had a lot of energy and excitement. But after working awhile they got discouraged and to make matters worse other people started talking about them. Let’s pick up the story at that point:
“Now it came about that when Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became furious and very angry and mocked the Jews. He spoke in the presence of his brothers and the wealthy men of Samaria and said, "What are these feeble Jews doing? Are they going to restore it for themselves? Can they offer sacrifices? Can they finish in a day? Can they revive the stones from the dusty rubble even the burned ones?" Now Tobiah the Ammonite was near him and he said, "Even what they are building--if a fox should jump on it, he would break their stone wall down!" Neh. 4:1-3 (NASB)
Those are words of discouragement – aren’t they? The people had returned to Jerusalem with all kinds of energy and enthusiasm. But people start talking – don’t they? They start criticizing. All this talk – all this criticism has it impact. The small group of Jews got about half way done with the wall and here is what they said:
"The strength of the burden bearers is failing, Yet there is much rubbish; And we ourselves are unable To rebuild the wall." Our enemies said, "They will not know or see until we come among them, kill them and put a stop to the work." Neh. 4:10-11 (NASB)
From this passage of scripture I see four reasons that the people got discouraged.
Four Reasons For Discouragement
1. FATIGUE
The first reason is fatigue. The people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out.” In other words they had worked long hours over a long time and were physically exhausted. They were just plain worn out – physically and emotionally drained.
Have you ever been tired – I mean really tired. When I get that way I don’t want to do anything. I am burned out. I need some rest – relaxation – renewal. Sometimes the best thing I can do if I’m tired and discouraged is get away from it for a while. Leave it alone. Don’t think about it. Go to bed. Take a break. Take a nap. Come back to it when you’re refreshed.
I don’t know about you – but I am a morning person. I usually get up before five each morning. That’s the time I can get most of my sermon work done. I’ve had a good night sleep – I have lots of energy to face the day – I’m ready to get up and get busy. Morning time works best for me. But I’ll tell you this – if I had to work on my sermons late at night – we all would be in a lot of trouble. My mind does not work very well when I get tired. When fatigue hits me – it hits me hard. Rest can do wonders for the body – soul – and spirit.
Fatigue is the number one cause of discouragement and often it happens right in the middle of the job. That’s discouraging. But frustration can cause discouragement too.
2. FRUSTRATION
Look at what our text says:
“there is much rubbish”
In other words they are saying, “There is so much junk in the way that we cannot build the wall.” That’s frustrating. That’s discouraging.
What’s rubbish? For them it was the remains of the old wall. They were building a new wall but old broken rocks were everywhere – there was dirt – there was mortar – there was too much stuff that they had to deal with. When they looked at the junk they didn’t see any way to get to the real job of building the wall. That can be frustrating – that can be discouraging.
Folks here is a fact: Whenever you do a project there’s going to be some rubbish involved and it can get frustrating.
You go to build something and there’s scraps left over. It gets in the way – and it just seems to multiply. You can’t avoid rubbish in life – you have to deal with it – you can’t ignore it – you can’t just pretend that it’s not there. If you don’t deal with it you’ll get frustrated – you’ll get discouraged.
What’s the rubbish in your life? What’s the junk in your life? What’s getting you frustrated? What’s in the way that’s keeping you from goals and your achievements? It’s the stuff that wastes your time and consumes your energy. It’s the stuff that keeps you from becoming all you want to be. It’s the stuff that keeps you from doing the things that are really most important in life. The rubbish in your life is those things that get in your way. It needs to be cleaned up and put away. Otherwise it will be frustrating – it will be discouraging.
The third reason why people get discouraged is because they have a failure mentality.
3. FAILURE MENTALITY
Here is what the people said:
“we ourselves are unable to rebuild the wall."
Do you know what they were saying? “We can’t do it. It’s impossible. It’s foolish to try. We give up.” They had talked themselves into failure – they weren’t going to try any harder.
Because they hadn’t finished the wall as quickly as they had hoped – they gave up. Their confidence went down the tubes. They lost heart and got discouraged. They said, “We can’t do it – so we’re just not going do it.”
Did you know that on May 4th, 1954 something was accomplished that many though would never be done? It was on that date that Roger Bannister ran the mile in under 4 minutes. Many people thought it was impossible for a man to run that fast – but he did it. Only two months later two men ran the mile in under 4 minutes. In a race between Roger Bannister and John Landy both men ran the mile in under 4 minutes. Landy was in the lead but he glanced over his left shoulder to see where Bannister was. At that moment Bannister was passing him on the right. But both of them had accomplished the impossible – both of them ran the mile in under four minutes.
Today the 4 minute mile is the standard goal for male track stars. As of yet no woman has run that fast – but who knows. Perhaps a woman will accomplish that speed one day.
How do you handle failure in your life? Do you have a pity party? Do you say, “Oh, poor me. I can’t get this job done”? Do you start complaining? “It’s impossible. It can’t be done.” Or do you blame other people? “Everybody else let me down. They didn’t do their parts of the job.” The difference between winners and losers is that winners always see failure as being only a temporary setback – they go on to win. How you think about it makes a huge difference in life.
There’s a fourth reason why people get discouraged it’s called:
4. FEAR
Verse 11 says this:
Our enemies said, "… kill them and put a stop to the work."
There were people in the land of Israel who did not want the wall to be built. They were the enemies of the Jews. A wall around the city represented safety and defense, so these enemies did not want the wall to be finished. So first they criticized the Jews. Then they ridiculed them. Finally they threatened them. So the wall-builders got discouraged because of fear.
Do you have fears that are discouraging you right now – fears that are preventing you from developing and growing? Do you fear criticism or embarrassment? Are you afraid to take the big step – to make a new change in your life? Maybe it’s a fear that you can’t hold up under the pressure. Maybe it’s a fear that you have to be perfect. Fear always discourages you.
But did you know that there are hundreds of times in the Bible that we are instructed not fear. Here are a few verses that talk about fear:
"The very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
"Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced.” Isa. 54:4
"Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, And gather you from the west.” Isa 43:5
Fear can lead to discouragement – but we are instructed not to fear.
Now let’s look at:
Four Ways To Overcome Discouragement
The first is:
1. RE-EVALUATE Your Goals
Look at what Nehemiah did after he heard that the people were discouraged:
“Then I stationed men in the lowest parts of the space behind the wall, the exposed places, and I stationed the people in families with their swords, spears and bows.” Neh. 4:13 (NASB)
Rather than moving the people away from the wall – he moved them up to the wall. Why? So they could look at the wall and see how much work they had already done on it and how much still needed to be done. They were re-evaluating their goals.
If you walk away from the wall – you have given up. But is that what you really should do? Nehemiah was saying, “We need to look this over. We need to get this problem solved.”
When you get discouraged, don’t give up on your goals. Instead, figure out a way to get it done. When you get discouraged, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re doing the wrong thing – you may have just gotten tired. You may have just gotten frustrated. You may just be discouraged. Don’t give up – re-evaluate what you’re doing.
Was it wrong for these Jews to be building the wall? No! They needed protection. They needed to feel secure. They needed to feel a sense of accomplishment. They were half way to the goal – now they needed to keep going.
Rev. Charles S. Wing is probably a name that none of you have ever heard of. He was a pastor in the 1900’s at a Methodist Episcopal Church. In 1906 he wrote a famous short story that goes like this:
“In a certain railroad yard there stood an extremely heavy line of cars that had to be pulled up a steep grade before it could reach its destination. The superintendent of the yard was not sure what was best for him to do, so he went to a large – strong engine and asked: "Can you pull all those cars over the hill?"
"It’s a very heavy row of cars – I don’t think I can." responded the first engine.
The superintendent then went to another great strong engine and asked: "Can you pull the cars over the hill?"
"It’s a very heavy row of cars – I don’t think I can." it replied.
The superintendent was discouraged – but he turned to another engine – it was smaller in size and did not look as strong as the others but asked, "Can you pull the cars over the hill?"
"I think I can," responded the engine.
So the order was given and cars were attached to the smaller engine and it started pulling. As it pulled it was saying, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."
The engine moved along on level ground saying, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." But then it reached the hill – and you could still hear its voice, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." Higher and higher it climbed, and its voice grew fainter and its words came slower – "I…think…I…can. I…think…I…can. I…think…I…can." But then the small engine passed over the top of the hill and began going down the opposite slope.
Now it was saying, “I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could.”
It’s the familiar story of “The Little Engine that Could.” It did because it thought it could.
The Jews in Jerusalem needed a wall. Yes they had gotten discouraged but they needed to keep building. They needed re-evaluate where they were at and keep moving toward their goal. They needed a positive attitude. They needed to change their way of thinking.
Do you have a problem? Let me encourage you – don’t give up. Keep on keeping on. God’s message to you is re-evaluate where you are at. Re-evaluate your time – re-evaluate your schedule – re-evaluate your goals. But keep moving. Clear out the clutter and rubble and trivia. Clear out the things that are wasting your time and keep moving forward.
Then:
2. REALIZE You’re Not Alone
Notice that Nehemiah posted the people by families.
“…and I stationed the people in families”
Why would he post people together with their families? I think there are a couple reasons. First – they needed to see who they were building the wall for. It was for the protection not just for themselves but for their families also. Second – because families need to encourage one another. When one person in a family gets discouraged – other members can lift him up. We need our fellow Christians to support each other and encourage each other. When I get down – you lift me up. When you get down – I lift you up. That’s a support group.
Remember earlier in the sermon we read this verse:
“Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today.” Hebrews 3:13a (NASB)
It’s important to have other people in our lives in order to help us and encourage us.
Also:
3. Be READY to Fight
Notice what the scripture says:
“…I stationed the people in families with their swords, spears and bows.”
Why would he do this? Why would he have them carry their weapons with them? Because they needed to be ready to fight.
The Bible teaches that we who are Christians are in a spiritual warfare – a battle. We are in a spiritual conflict fighting with negative forces. The Bible says that the devil is the accuser of Christians – he loves to get us down. He loves to see us discouraged because he knows that a discouraged Christian has limited potential. He knows that when we’re down our effectiveness is neutralized. So he does everything he can to discourage us. James says,
“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
James 4:7 (NASB)
Resist the devil. Resist his negative thoughts. Resist getting discouraged. You do not have to be discouraged in life. It’s your choice. You may choose to give in and give up. But great Christians simply refuse to be discouraged. They don’t know how to quit. They never give up even when they’re fatigued and frustrated and have failed and are fearful. Great Christians are ordinary people with extraordinary amounts of persistence. They just hang in there and never give up.
And always:
4. REMEMBER The Lord
Nehemiah told the people:
“… remember the Lord who is great and awesome.” Neh. 4:14
What does it mean to “remember the Lord”? It means to commit yourself to Him. It means to dedicate yourself to Him. It means to draw near to God.
What specifically should you remember? Three things:
First, remember God’s goodness to you in the past. When you start thinking about all the good things that God has already done in your life – your spirit will be lifted.
Second, remember God’s closeness in the present. What is God doing in your life right now? He is with you whether you feel Him or not He is there.
Third, remember God’s power for the future – He will give you strength for your needs. The Bible says:
“Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.”
1 John 4:4 (NASB)
I like the way the Message Bible says it – it says:
“My dear children, you come from God and belong to God. You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world.” 1 John 4:4 (Msg)
And then remember – your thoughts determine your feelings. If you feel discouraged it’s because you’re thinking discouraging thoughts. If you want to feel encouraged instead – start thinking encouraging thoughts. God wants us to be encouraged not discouraged – that’s why the Bible says:
“Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today.” Hebrews 3:13a (NASB)
(I want to thank Rick Warren for the sermon starter ideas.)
