Series: Big 10
“SEMPER FIDELIS: ALWAYS FAITHFUL”
EXODUS 20:14
OPEN
We’re still in our series through the 10 Commandments called Big 10. Today we’re going to look at the seventh commandment and see what it means to always be faithful in our marriages.
How much would you pay for a Bible? You can pick up Bibles for an extremely low cost – sometimes even free. But you can also pay a lot of money for a Bible – depending on the cover, paper, ink, and translation. But would you pay close to $1000,000 for a Bible?
There is a Bible that has been dubbed the “Wicked Bible.” It’s also known as the “Sinners’ Bible” and the “Adulterous Bible.” It contains what is probably the most infamous misprint of any book ever published.
In 1631 AD, King Charles I ordered 1,000 Bibles from the royal printers, Robert Barker and Martin Lucas. They were to be reprints of the 1611 KJV. It was an almost flawless edition except for one major mistake. There was a huge typographical error. In the 7th commandment, they left out the word “not.” So, the 7th commandment in this edition reads, “Thou shalt commit adultery.”
King Charles I and the Archbishop of Canterbury were so angered that the printers were fined £300 sterling, which in that day was a lifetime’s worth of income for a successful tradesman. The modern equivalent of £300 sterling is £43,586 sterling which translates into 72,760.29 American dollars. That fine and the stigma attached to the mistake drove the printers out of business.
All 1,000 copies were ordered burned and very few remain today. Two museums have copies and another copy was put on sale on the internet in 2010 for $89,500.
The “Wicked Bible” got it wrong! Ex. 20:14 reads – You shall not commit adultery. Yet, we live in an age and culture where adultery and sexual immorality have become culturally correct.
Just like there are birthday cards and anniversary cards and Mother's Day cards and Father's Day cards, there are now “Secret Lover Cards.” The Secret Lover Collection is designed specifically and especially for those who are having adulterous, extramarital affairs.
One card called “My Lover” reads like this:
Just when I thought I would never find my true love - you came along…
My soul has been searching for you since I came into this world.
All my life I've had this emptiness inside
Like a part of me was missing and I was incomplete…
And now I can't imagine my life without you…
Even if I have to share you.
Our culture says to us and to God: “What we do behind closed doors is our private life and it is nobody's business. It’s not even God’s business.” Whether it is an adulterer or fornicator or a homosexual, they see the biblical idea that sex should be limited only to a man and a woman who are married to each other seems not only to be woefully out of date, but absolutely intolerant.
When you turn on your television, you will see a medium of expression that refers to sex outside of marriage thirteen times more frequently than it mentions intimacy between a husband and wife. In other words, whenever sex or sexual intercourse or allusions to sex are mentioned on television, eighty-eight percent of the time it will be outside the context of marriage. In the real world, not TV land, half of all adults under the age of thirty will live with someone before they get married and sixty-percent of those recently married, acknowledged they lived with their new spouse before they got married.
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s – the time of the so-called sexual revolution. A revolution, as you know, is when someone revolts against an authority that is over them. The sexual revolution was a revolt, both against God and the seventh commandment.
Unlike the American Revolution, which freed us, this revolution has enslaved us. The sexual revolution has ruined more reputations, wrecked more homes, killed more marriages, broken more hearts, destroyed more careers, given more guilt, brought more unhappiness and cost more money than any other revolution in our history.
God says that adultery is wrong. Adultery is being unfaithful to your vows and commitments – be it to God or another person. God created marriage and made it a covenant relationship. A covenant is when two parties are bound together through obligations, stipulations, privileges, and responsibilities.
The covenant of marriage is the second most important relationship we have besides our covenant relationship with God. How do we ensure that we will fulfill the obligations, stipulations and privileges of this covenant relationship while still enjoying its privileges? Let’s look together at six important concepts and let God speak to us in this matter.
BE CONVICTED THAT SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS WRONG
This commandment condemns all sex outside of marriage, whether it is pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, or un-marital sex (homosexuality). Heb. 13:14 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
The 10 Commandments were primarily given for families. So, there is one commandment that deals with the relationship between children and their parents and one that teaches that husbands and wives should honor their vows. God told Moses to tell the Hebrews that they were to honor these commands, live these commands, and teach these commands to their children. The family is the basic unit of the nation, and faithfulness to the marriage contract is the foundation of the family.
God doesn't mince any words. He says, “You shall not commit adultery.” Yet, we live in an age where people not only commit adultery, they refuse to admit that adultery is wrong. Prov. 30:20 – “This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’ ” She basically shrugs her shoulders and says, “What’s the big deal?”
We even play word games when it comes to this commandment. First, we downplay adultery. We call it a “little fling” or “fooling around.” Then, we try to dignify adultery. We call it “having an affair” or “secret love.” Then, we try to disguise adultery. We will meet at a secret rendezvous point, go to a secluded hotel, change our names on the register and think we are fooling everybody.
Job 24:15 – The eye of the adulterer watches for dusk; he thinks, ‘No eye will see me,’ and he keeps his face concealed. James Merritt says, “You can wash it in soap, dress it in a tuxedo, bathe it in perfume and hide it in darkness, but God still sees it and God still knows it and God still calls it adultery.”
There are several reasons why adultery is wrong. First of all, it is a physical sin. The Apostle Paul said in 1 Cor. 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Adultery is also a marital sin. It is interesting to see how the Bible describes a man who would leave his family for another woman. Prov. 27:8 – Like a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home.
Think about it. A man or women who would leave their husband and children or wife and children for another person is no better than a bird who would leave its baby chicks as open prey to the wilds of nature.
Adultery is also a spiritual sin. It is a sin against God Himself, because it breaks one of His commandments. There is a story in the Old Testament about a young man named Joseph. He worked for an Egyptian ruler named, Potiphar. Potiphar's wife was attracted to Joseph and wanted to commit adultery with him. He refused all of her advances, finally saying to her in Gen. 39:9 – “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”
I want to encourage you right now to develop this conviction in your heart: There will be no sex before marriage, no sex without marriage and sex only after marriage.
BE COMMITTED TO YOUR SPOUSE
The most important human relationship is the marriage relationship. In Mt. 19:5, Jesus quotes from Gen. 2:24 – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?”
From the very beginning, God intended for marriage to be a permanent relationship. We go on to read what Jesus said in verse 6 – So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
God's plan for marriage is so simple: one man, one wife, one life. It’s supposed to be “until death do us part.” You have to go into marriage with that kind of a mindset and that kind of a commitment because everybody has problems in marriage and there are no marriages without problems. You are going to have problems with anything you don't totally understand. You had better watch a man who says he totally understands women. He will lie about other things too!
I heard about a man that walked into the kitchen and found his wife balling her eyes out. He said, “What's wrong?” She said, “I believe this is the worst meal I have ever cooked.” Trying to console her, he said, “Oh, honey, no it isn't.” Regardless of bad meals or bad habits you must be committed to the one you are married to.
Adam and Eve were walking in the Garden of Eden the first day they got to know each other and she looked at him and said, "Adam, do you really love me?" He thought for a moment, looked around and said, "Eve, as far as I am concerned you are the only girl in the world!" That ought to be the attitude we have toward our spouses.
BE CAREFUL IN GUARDING YOUR MIND
I told you earlier that all sexual sin, whether it be adultery, fornication, or homosexuality is both a physical sin, a marital sin, and a spiritual sin. Jesus said it is also a mental sin.
Jesus goes far beyond what we think this commandment would forbid when He said this in Mt. 5:27-28 – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Men, understand there is nothing wrong with looking at a woman and appreciating her physical beauty. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with looking at a man and appreciating his handsomeness, but there is a difference between a look and a lustful look.
Adultery always begins in the mind before it winds up in the bedroom. You need to understand the importance of guarding your mind, which in turn will guard your heart, which in turn will guard your body, which in turn will protect your purity, your marriage, your home, your children, and your conscience from the horrible consequences of sexual sin.
I have heard and read so many stories of how adulterous affairs get started and how teenagers fall into pre-martial sexual sin. I have learned that there are basically four steps that take place: distraction, attraction, interaction, and transaction.
First, there is the distraction. Maybe you begin to notice a woman that you work with or you see somebody at school or you are flipping channels on the TV and you notice a provocative sexual scene – that is distraction.
Then comes attraction. You begin to make little comments to this woman or to this man or you begin to watch just for a moment this provocative scene or you linger at this website on the internet. That behavior will lead to interaction where you just think it is harmless to go to lunch with this person or just watching fifteen minutes on the internet won't hurt. Staying just awhile is just a little titillating fun.
Then follows the transaction where before you know it, you have either wound up in someone else's bed or your mind has been caught in a spider's web of pornography that you can't get out of.
Don’t be arrogant. Don’t say, “That could never happen to me!” 1 Cor. 10:12 warns – So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!
Wise men and women understand that preserving sexual purity means being careful about what you look at, because the eyes are the window into the mind. The mind is the door into the soul and the soul is the door to all kinds of sin.
There has never been a time in our history when it is more important to be careful what you see than it is today. Pornography has become the norm. While the internet is a great tool for good, it can also be a great tool for bad. The internet is the most powerful purveyor of pornography in the history of the world. The reason the internet is so dangerous is that it is anonymous, accessible, and affordable.
There is help out there as well. There are many sites you can download that will safeguard you from internet pornography. If you want more information, you can speak to me privately and I’ll be glad to tell you about the one I have installed on my laptop. Mal 2:15b – So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
BE CONSCIOUS OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL SIN
Richard J. Foster, Money, Sex, and Power: “Sex is like a great river that is rich and deep and good as long as it stays within its proper channel. The moment a river overflows its banks, it too becomes destructive, and the moment sex overflows its God-given banks, it too becomes destructive. Our task is to define as clearly as possible the boundaries placed upon our sexuality and to do all in our power to direct our sexual responses into that deep, rich current.”
There is one thing that is crystal clear in God’s Word and that is you will not escape the judgment of God if you break this commandment in any way. Prov. 6:32 – But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Some translations say he destroys his own soul. We don't even realize the price tag that comes with breaking the seventh commandment - there is a personal cost.
Chuck Swindoll wrote these words:
The following is an incomplete list of what you have in store after your immorality is found out:
Your mate will experience the anguish of betrayal, shame, rejection, heartache and loneliness. No amount of repentance will soften those blows.
Your mate can never again say that you are a model of fidelity. Suspicion will rob her or him of trust. Your escapade(s) will introduce to your life and your mate's life the very real probability of a sexually transmitted disease.
The total devastation your sinful actions will bring to your children is immeasurable. Their growth, innocence, trust and healthy outlook on life will be severely and permanently damaged.
The heartache you will cause your parents, your family and your peers is indescribable.
The embarrassment of facing other Christians, who once appreciated you, respected you and trusted you will be overwhelming.
If you are engaged in the Lord's work, you will suffer the immediate loss of your job and the support of those with whom you work. The dark shadow will accompany you everywhere… and forever. Forgiveness won't erase it.
Your fall will give others license to do the same.
The inner-peace you enjoyed will be gone.
You will never be able to erase the fall from your (or others') minds. This will remain indelibly etched on your life's record regardless of your later return to your senses.
The name of Jesus Christ, whom you once honored, will be tarnished giving the enemies of faith further reason to sneer and jeer.
Maybe you are in a difficult marriage. You are having a tough time. Your sex life is not satisfying and you are starting to look around. Just remember this: no matter how high the cost is of maintaining and restoring and repairing your marriage might be, the cost of adultery is always infinitely higher.
Now I want to bring this home to where we live every day. To those of us who either have been involved in sexual sin or are involved in sexual sin at this very moment, I have two last things I want to say to you.
BE CONVERTED TO THE LORDSHIP OF CHRIST
If you want to avoid the whirlpool of sexual lust and sin that can suck you down its drain and ruin your life, step number one is you must come to know Jesus Christ as your Savior and surrender to Him as your Lord. I don't care what your intentions are, how strong your willpower may be or how determined you are to make it right and keep it right, you don't have a chance against sin without Jesus Christ in your life. The worst life without Jesus is a wicked life and the best life without Jesus is a wasted life.
I've got good news for you. No matter how entrapped you may think you are Jesus Christ can deliver you from the trap of sexual sin.
Paul was writing to the church in Corinth and they evidentially had every type of sexual sinner known to man in that church. Listen to what he says to them in these words. 1 Cor. 6:9-10 – Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
The Bible makes it very plain. You can live all of your life as a sexual sinner or you can go to heaven, but you can't do both. Just in case some of you are using the excuse, “I was born this way” or you feel like a paraphrase of a line from an Elvis Presley song – “I’m caught in a trap and I can’t get out” – just listen to what he goes on to say in verse 11 – And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. There is no sin so powerful as sexual sin, but there is no sin so powerful even sexual sin that you cannot be delivered from through Jesus Christ.
BE CLEANSED FROM YOUR PAST SEXUAL SINS
You may have already committed adultery. You may be in an adulterous relationship right now. Maybe you are single and you have either committed fornication or you've been caught in the web of fornication, homosexuality or lesbianism. I want you to listen carefully. If you have been unfaithful to your spouse or you have been unfaithful to God, it is not the unpardonable, unforgivable sin.
Sin it is and sin it always will be. Premarital sex is sin; always has been and always will be. Adultery is sin; always has been always will be. Homosexuality is sin; always has been always will be. Pornography is sin; always has been and always will be.
However, forgiveness and cleansing is available to anyone who is willing to ask for it; always has been and always will be. 1 Jn. 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
CLOSE
When you submit to Jesus Christ as Lord over your life, you’re submitting to his will in all areas of your life – be it physical, mental or spiritual. Rather than you or anyone else being the most important thing in your life, Jesus becomes your all-in-all. He is now in charge of even your sexual attitudes and gehaviors.
There was a woman, who was once caught red-handed in the act of adultery. She was brought before Jesus by a crowd that was ready to stone her. Jesus took care of that crowd, sent them away, and then looking at the woman, He didn't condemn her.
Realizing by knowing her heart, that she had repented and she was desired forgiveness, He simply said in Jn. 8:11 – “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” Let us all go and do likewise.
