A Discerning Heart
Thru Change
1 Kings 3:5-15
INTRODUCTION
You are at work one day and HR calls a meeting and once everyone arrives, shares the news that half of the company is being let go because the company got bought out. Sorry. You don’t know if you are in the half with a job or the half without a job.
You head for your annual physical which happens every three years or so and your doctor tells you that your labs came back and you have a medical condition which requires you to change your lifestyle. Foods have to be different. Treatment is painful and costly. That is what life is now.
You and your spouse are heading for retirement and knocking off items off the bucket list when your father becomes ill. You decide to take your father into your home and be his caregiver. You now have no extra time. You get less sleep. All extra money is gone. Your bucket list gets left undone as do all your plans and dreams. A whole lot of change has occurred and life is not going as you expected.
You have four children and each of them have lives of their own. One is having a baby for the first time. One is seeking to change jobs. One is trying to get themselves clean from drugs. One is thinking of moving to the other side of the country to follow a pie-in-the-sky dream. So many changes on the horizon for people that you love and they all ask for your advice.
SOLOMON AND CHANGE
The passage of Scripture that we will look at today has a lot of change in the background. 1 Kings 1 shares with us that “King David was old and well advanced in years” (1:1) and his children began to fight over who would become king after him. King David had chosen his son Solomon to become king, but there were other sons who wished for the authority of the throne. There was a struggle and in the end Solomon is the chosen successor.
As David’s death approached, 1 Kings 2 tells us some of the advice David gives to Solomon. 1 Kings 2:1-4 says, “When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. 2 "I am about to go the way of all the earth," he said. "So be strong, show yourself a man, 3 and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go, 4 and that the LORD may keep his promise to me: 'If your descendants watch how they live, and if they walk faithfully before me with all their heart and soul, you will never fail to have a man on the throne of Israel.'” His words sound similar to what we looked at last week in Joshua 1.
1 Kings 2:10-11 tells us, “Then David rested with his fathers and was buried in the City of David. 11 He had reigned forty years over Israel-- seven years in Hebron and thirty-three in Jerusalem.” The rest of chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3 describes how not all the people were accepting of Solomon’s reign and several people died. A brother dies. A general dies. An old enemy of his father dies. Alliances are formed. In the midst of the death and change and alliances, we have the passage we will focus on today.
As we read this passage today, understand that Solomon is undergoing a lot of change in his life. His father is now dead. His brothers do not seem to be trustworthy. He now has responsibility and authority thrust upon him that he knew was coming, but probably wasn’t actually ready for. He has international issues to plan and manage as well as domestic issues to handle as king over God’s people. Also, because he is king over God’s people, they had to be governed according to God’s precepts if they wanted to be blessed by Him. Solomon was not just the king over any nation, but king over God’s people.
1 Kings 3:5-15
At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you." 6 Solomon answered, "You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day. 7 "Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?" 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. 13 Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for-- both riches and honor-- so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. 14 And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life." 15 Then Solomon awoke-- and he realized it had been a dream. He returned to Jerusalem, stood before the ark of the Lord's covenant and sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings. Then he gave a feast for all his court.
A DISCERNING HEART
God shows favor to Solomon by appearing to him in a dream and communicating with him. By coming to God in a dream, God is giving His divine stamp of approval on Solomon’s reign and seems to be prepared to bless Solomon and the People of Israel. God will bless them. God is willing to give Solomon whatever he wishes.
In verse 9, Solomon wisely asks for a “discerning heart.” Verse 10 tells us “the Lord was pleased” which tells me that Solomon is starting out his reign on good footing with God. Solomon asks for a “discerning heart.” What is that exactly? Some of the verses in this passage give us hints at what a discerning heart looks like.
First, a discerning heart is one that can judge right and wrong. Now I know right away some of us say, “Oh, the Bible tells us not to judge.” That is only half true and an error in reading and applying the Scriptures. The idea that it is un-Godly to judge things is wrong. The word “judge” is not a dirty word. Many passages describe people without discernment and the ability to judge as foolish (Deuteronomy 32:29, Proverbs 10:13, 14:6, etc). The error comes from misreading Matthew 7. Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
In the Bible, a properly discerning heart is one that judges between right and wrong based on the proper measure. Notice that in Matthew 7, Jesus fully says that by whatever measure we use to judge right and wrong that this same measure will be used on us.
May I suggest you not use logic or reason or some kind of philosophy to judge what is right and wrong.
May I suggest you not use your feelings to judge what is right and wrong.
May I suggest you not use what you learned growing up or experiences to judge what is right and wrong.
May I suggest you not use TV, movies, celebrities, or our culture to inform you on right and wrong.
What else is there?
God’s Word. It is good and right and proper to judge everything in life based on what we find in the Bible. The Bible is the measure we should always use to determine right and wrong in any and every situation. If the Bible says something is wrong, then it is wrong no matter what our logic, feelings, experiences, or culture tells us. If the Bible says something is good and right, then it is right no matter what our logic, feelings, experiences, or culture tells us. A Godly discerning heart uses the Bible as the measure for right and wrong.
Second, a discerning heart is one that has understanding in all related areas. As I was thinking about this, it is difficult to explain. When I think about this aspect of a discerning heart, I think about the ability not only to see what is right before us, but also to see the benefits or repercussions down to road to decisions and issues we face now. This means we are knowledgeable about human nature, relationships, money, business, health, and many areas and we can see how those topics relate to what we are dealing with. Let me give you a word picture. A rock is tossed into a calm lake. A discerning heart is able to understand what ripples will be made when a rock is tossed into a lake and can see not only the ripples, but what the ripples will affect in the lake. I hope that makes sense.
Third, a discerning heart has the ability to and willingness to act or speak and knows when not to. Not only can a discerning heart know right from wrong and see the ripples of decisions, but a discerning heart knows what to say, when to say it, how to say it. A discerning heart knows what not to say, when not to say it, and how not to say something.
Overall as we think about a discerning heart, the Book of Proverbs, written by Solomon, confirms all of these three aspects of a discerning heart:
Proverbs 10:13 “Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.”
Proverbs 14:6 “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.”
Proverbs 17:24 “A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.”
Proverbs 17:24 “A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.”
Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
Proverbs 18:15 “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.”
Proverbs 19:25 “Flog a mocker, and the simple will learn prudence; rebuke a discerning man, and he will gain knowledge.”
Now we know a little about a discerning heart. What does this mean for change? What does this mean for us during change? This morning I would like to talk about some elements of change and see why a discerning heart is necessary during change.
CHANGE VS. SLOW DEATH
ILLUSTRATION… Classic Frog in Pot Story (http://allaboutfrogs.org/stories/boiled.html)
Imagine a pot filled with cold water. A frog is quietly swimming in it. The fire is lit under that pot. Water starts warming up. Soon it becomes lukewarm. The frog finds this rather pleasant and keeps swimming. The temperature keeps rising. Water is now warm. It’s a little more than what the frog enjoys; it becomes a bit tired, but it doesn’t panic. Water is now really warm. The frog finds that unpleasant, but it has also become weak, by now, so the frog stands the heat as it can and does nothing. The temperature will thus keep rising up to the moment the frog will simply end up being cooked and die, without ever extracting itself from the pot.
Now you and I know that if plunged in a pot half-way through boiling temperature, the frog would immediately give a powerful jump and find itself out of it. What does this story describe? Slow death.
Slow death begins when someone is faced with the dilemma to change or to accept the status quo, and they reject the option for change. This decision results in the gradual disintegration or decay. When we don’t want to “rock the boat,” we sometimes encourage slow death. When we “stick our heads in the sand” we encourage slow death. The thing about slow death is that we tend to choose slow death if given the option. Slow death is the situation, feelings, and people we know. Change is a risk and possible failure.
When I think about slow death, I think of being complacent in faith, ho-hum about being Godly, and accepting sin when we should not. Discernment is needed in life because slow death is not Godly.
Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
For the Christian, we must have a discerning heart about identifying:
Where sin is entangling us
Where Jesus is in our lives
Where God wants us to go in faith
CHANGE VS. THE CHECK LIST
ILLUSTRATION… Different Frog in Pot Story (p)
Imagine a pot filled with cold water. A frog is quietly swimming in it. The fire is lit under that pot. Water starts warming up. Soon it becomes lukewarm. The frog finds this rather pleasant and keeps swimming. Pretty soon, the frog looks around and starts telling everyone else what they should do to change. Logs should be on the fire different. Add different spices. Water is now warm. Hey you should walk faster and more will get done. Water is now really warm. The frog finds that unpleasant, but decides that it is more important to tell everyone else where to change than to focus on his own situation. The temperature will thus keep rising up to the moment the frog will simply end up being cooked and die, without ever extracting itself from the pot.
What does this story describe? The Check List.
Life is full of situations in which we would very much like another person to change their behaviour. We want our neighbours to act better and be quieter. We want our children to clean up better. We want our spouse to argue less. We want our mother to stop interfering. We want people who work with us to work harder. We look around us and see where everyone else needs to change and yet we seem to conveniently miss where we need to change.
For the Christian, we must have a discerning heart about identifying where we fail first instead of constantly complaining about the people around us. I read to you a little of Matthew 7 earlier. The rest of that passage about judging speaks to this very issue: Matthew 7:3-5 says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”
We should ask for a discerning heart that we might see where we need to change before we go an discern where others need to change.
CHANGE VS. UNDISCUSSABLES
ILLUSTRATION… Different Frog in Pot Story 2 (p)
Imagine a pot filled with cold water. A frog is quietly swimming in it. The fire is lit under that pot. Water starts warming up. Soon it becomes lukewarm. The frog finds this rather pleasant and keeps swimming. Someone comes by and attempts to tell the frog about the fire. He tolds up his little hand and says “no.” Water is now warm. Another person comes by and shows the frog a book where the classic story of the frog in a pot is written and the frog stops them before they even read a paragraph. Water is now really warm. The frog finds that unpleasant, but decides that he doesn’t want to hear what anyone has to say about this topic and that is final. The temperature will thus keep rising up to the moment the frog will simply end up being cooked and die, without ever extracting itself from the pot.
What does this story describe? Undiscussables.
An “undiscussable” is an issue that is important to someone, but they choose to not talk about it because it is threatening. Another word for this is “sacred cows.” An undiscussable exists perhaps because in the past the issue has brought about tempers, failure, and so we choose to avoid it. An undiscussable issue exists because people perceive that if it is ever brought up hurt or anger is the obvious result. An undiscussable thing exists perhaps because the pain of talking is incredible and denial seems necessary.
What is the result of undiscussables?
Decay Hard hearts People withdraw Harmful cycles set in
Division Lack of trust People are labelled Helplessness
For the Christian, we must have a discerning heart about things in our lives we have chosen to keep hidden. Some hidden things need to be changed. Some hidden things need to be rooted out of our lives so that we can have a healthy active relationship with God and those around us.
Hebrews 4:13-16 says: “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
God’s Word promises us that we have a Savior who is able to hold us, forgive us, and make us new. Change is difficult, but with God moving and motivating the change, it will work for our good and we will be a better soul because of it.
SUMMARY
Pray for discernment with slow death.
Pray for discernment for the check list.
Pray for discernment for the undiscussables.
CONCLUSION
Some ideas from Quinn, Robert E. Deep Change. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. 1996.
