I love my church. I love my church because I love Jesus and Jesus loves the church. So that is why I’m so excited about our current sermon series. I want to share my love of the church with you in hopes that you, too, will fall in love with the church, either for the first time, or all over again.
Two weeks ago we began our series by looking at how Jesus loves His Bride, the church. He sacrificed for her, he sanctifies her and He sustains her. And we talked about how we can incorporate those same three actions into our love for the church. If you missed that message for any reason, I encourage you to go to the website and either watch or listen to it because it is so foundational to the rest of this series.
And then last week, we looked at the first of five practical ways that we can demonstrate our love for the Bride of Christ. We saw how preparing for and participating in corporate worship helps us to live as disciples of Jesus in a world that is increasing hostile to Him and to His church. We saw how the encouragement we receive as we draw near to God, hold fast to the confession of our hope and consider how to stir up one another to love and good works helps us to persevere and become more like Jesus.
But even though it is important for us to have a way to persevere in the face of those who would attack the church from the outside, I’m convinced that the greater threat to the Bride of Christ actually comes from within the body. And that’s not just my opinion. Jesus was so concerned about the possibility that the church could collapse from within that He specifically addressed how His disciples are to protect the fellowship of the church by appropriately handling conflict and sin that arises within His church.
My guess is that most of us are probably familiar with the passage that we’ll look at together this morning. In fact, I’m confident that almost everyone here can complete the last verse in this passage:
For where two or three are gathered in my name…
[Let people complete the verse]
there am I among them.
Unfortunately, I’m also pretty sure that most of us have probably utilized that verse out of context in a way that is inconsistent with the way that Jesus intended it to be used. I say that because I know that I am certainly guilty of that. So let’s look at that verse in context and see what we can learn together this morning about how to protect the fellowship of our church.
Turn with me in your Bibles to Matthew 18 and follow along as I begin reading in verse 15:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
(Matthew 18:15-20 ESV)
We tend to label this passage “church discipline”, which often gives it a negative connotation. But as I think we’ll see this morning, Jesus meant this to be a positive way for His disciples to maintain holiness within the body of Christ and thus protect the fellowship of the church.
Although we often focus on the procedure we are to use when there is sin and conflict in the body, I think it’s crucial that we understand why Jesus gave these instructions to the church. So we’re actually going to examine this passage in reverse order, beginning with verses 18-20 where we find…
THE POWER TO PROTECT THE FELLOWSHIP (vv. 18-20)
I’m going to spend a bit more time on this aspect of the passage than I originally intended because it is undoubtedly the hardest part of the passage to understand. When we get to the procedures themselves, they are actually pretty straightforward and won’t require a whole lot of comment.
We’ll also work backwards within this section and begin with verse 20. Think about some of the times that you’ve either used that verse yourself or heard others use it. Personally, I’ve seen it used most frequently in some kind of church gathering, usually a prayer meeting, where there are only a few people present. And it seems that on those occasions, someone will undoubtedly say something like, “Well it’s OK because Jesus is here since He promised that even if two or three people are gathered in His name, He will be present.”
The problem with that approach is that it takes this one verse completely out of context. While there is some degree of truth in that kind of statement – Jesus is indeed present when two or more are gathered in His name – He does not require us to gather in groups of two or more in order for that to occur. Jesus is present with His disciples all the time regardless of whether they are in a gathering of thousands or whether they are by themselves.
In order to understand what Jesus meant by those words, we have to consider them in context and in order to do that we need to remember that Jesus spoke these words in the context of teaching about how His Bride, the church, is to operate in order to protect the fellowship of the body.
So let’s go back one more verse to verse 19. Again, this is another verse that is often taken out of context and misused to teach that if any two of Jesus’ disciples agree on something and ask God for it, that He is somehow obligated to do what they ask. But once again, if we consider what Jesus said in its proper context, we find that is not all what He meant.
If we go back one more verse to verse 18, we’ll be better able to understand what Jesus meant by that statement. But the problem we encounter when we get to that verse is that it, too, is often misused because of the failure to understand what Jesus meant when He used the terms “bind” and “loose”. Jesus used those same terms a bit earlier in another familiar passage:
And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
(Matthew 16:18-19 ESV)
Some people have taken these two passages and used them to teach that Jesus’ disciples are to somehow bind Satan and his demons. Not only is that interpretation not supported at all anywhere else in Scripture, it also fails to consider how those to whom Jesus was speaking would have understood those terms.
Jesus used the terms “bind” and “loose” here in the same manner that they were commonly used by the Jewish Rabbis in making decisions about what actions complied with the Scriptures and what did not. The terms were never applied in terms of binding a person, but rather dealt only with how certain actions lined up with Scripture:
• To “bind” something was to “prohibit” it because the Scriptures prohibited it.
• To “loose” something was to “permit” it because the Scriptures permitted it.
Here, as we’ll see more clearly in a moment, Jesus is saying that by engaging in the process that is outlined in this passage, the church is, in essence, making a determination of what is bound, or prohibited, and what is loosed, or permitted, within the church. He is obviously not, as some have suggested, saying that the church gets to make that determination on its own and that God is somehow then obligated to follow it. In fact, if we look at the grammar here carefully, we see that exactly the opposite is true.
While it reads a bit awkwardly in English, here is how verse 18 could be translated literally:
Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have already been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been already been loosed in heaven.
So what Jesus is saying here is that in carrying out their responsibility to deal with conflict and sin in the church, the church must make the determination of whether a person has done something that is bound, or prohibited, not based on their own personal ideas of what is right or wrong, but rather based on what God has already determined and revealed to us in His Word.
So when we put all three of these verses together, we find that Jesus is merely confirming that the church has the power to do what He is commanding them to do here because they are actually doing God’s work. We could summarize that idea like this:
• Jesus empowers the church to act on His behalf here on earth and when that work is carried out in a manner that is consistent with His Word, He ratifies its actions with His presence.
THE PURPOSE OF PROTECTING THE FELLOWSHIP (v. 15)
The purpose of protecting the fellowship of the church is made clear in the last part of verse 15:
If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
When there is conflict and sin within the church, it impacts both the person who is the source of the conflict or the one who has sinned and it also impacts the body as a whole because one part of the body is no longer functioning as it should. So the goal is always to restore that brother or sister to be an effective functioning, contributing member of the body. Perhaps Paul had Jesus’ words in mind when he confirmed the importance of restoration:
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
(Galatians 6:1 ESV)
If we don’t keep this in mind as we go through the four step process we’ll look at in just a moment, then we are likely to end up damaging the fellowship of the church rather than protecting it. There are two equally important purposes that must be balanced during this process:
• To protect the unity of the body
There are always consequences associated with any sin. And when that sin is committed by a member of the church, if it is not dealt with in a Biblical manner, it often becomes a divisive force that tears at the unity of the church.
Fortunately here at TFC, that has hasn’t happened very often. But as I think back to some of the infrequent times it has, I have to say that I’m not sure we didn’t sometimes short circuit this process and that as a result, there was some unnecessary damage to the unity of our church.
I want to be very careful here to make it clear that not every time someone has left TFC over the years, it has been because there was some unresolved conflict or sin. So what I want to share with you here is not meant to cause speculation about why certain people have chosen to no longer associate with our church.
But I think it is important to be aware that there have been some cases since I’ve been here where people were confronted individually and then by a group of two or three and still refused to repent of their sin or attempt to reconcile with another person they had harmed in some way. But in order to avoid having the matter brought before the church, they just left our church.
The problem is that in at least some of those cases, those people still had relationships with people here and they undermined the unity of our church because some here at TFC only heard their side of the story without ever knowing that those people left our church to avoid having their sin exposed to the entire body.
As I think about some of those cases, it seems to me that perhaps we erred by emphasizing the other equally important purpose so much that we ignored this first one. That second purpose is…
• To protect the dignity of the individual
The process that we’ll look at in a moment, is designed to protect the dignity of the individual by giving him or her the opportunity to deal with conflict and sin in a private manner. If followed, it also protects against talking behind another’s back and gossip.
So as we engage in the process we’re about to examine, we must always keep these two sometimes competing purposes in a proper balance. With that in mind, we’re finally ready to tackle…
THE PROCESS OF PROTECTING THE FELLOWSHIP (vv. 15-17)
The first thing we need to do is not stated explicitly here, but it is certainly implied.
1. Overlook minor offenses
In verse 15, Jesus begins this entire section by saying, “If your brother ________________ against you…” [Let people fill in the blank].
Notice that He didn’t say:
• If your brother irritates you…
• If your brother insults you…
• If your brother ignores you…
• If your bother offends you…
While I suppose that some of those things could rise to the level where they could be considered “sin”, the process that Jesus lays out here is obviously to be reserved for more serious matters. Both the Old and New Testaments tell us how we ought to deal with these minor offenses:
The vexation of a fool is known at once,
but the prudent ignores an insult.
(Proverbs 12:16 ESV)
Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
(Proverbs 19:11 ESV)
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
(Colossians 3:12-13 ESV)
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
(Ephesians 4:1-2 ESV)
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6:2 ESV)
For these minor items, we actually protect the unity of the body by overlooking them and bearing with one another and forgiving the other person if that is necessary. But there are obviously some situations that require us to take further action…
2. Deal with that which I cannot overlook
There is an interesting textual issue with verse 15. Some early manuscripts do not have the words “against you” and others do include those words. So some of our English translations, like the ESV I am using, include those words and others, like the NASB that Don uses, do not. While it is an interesting exercise to try and figure out which of those is correct, I maintain that the meaning is really the same either way.
That is because there are two ways that someone can sin against me – direct and indirect.
The direct ways are pretty easy to identify:
• Someone steals from me
• Someone harms me physically
• Someone lies to me
• Someone spreads false rumors about me
But because the church is a body made up of individual members, there is a sense in which almost any sin within the body is an indirect sin against every person in the body because it stains all of us. When any of us are leading a disobedient life, it brings reproach on Jesus and His Bride, the church, and therefore it impacts all of us who are a part of that body.
That’s why when the church in Corinth refused to deal with open, unrepentant sin, Paul wrote this to them:
Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
(1 Corinthians 5:6 ESV)
Sin is like leaven. If it is not removed from the body, it doesn’t take long until it permeates the entire body. So that means that everyone in the body, not just the Pastor or the Elders have the responsibility to protect our fellowship by confronting sin and dealing with conflict using this four step process that Jesus gives to us:
• Step 1 – Meet face-to-face
In the days of email, Facebook and other social media, it’s often tempting to try and handle these matters by one of those methods. But Jesus says that we are to go and tell that person his or her fault. That means that we need to do this face-to-face. I know for many of us that is hard, but it’s really the only way to do this effectively.
And when we do that, here are a few suggestions to make that meeting more effective in developing reconciliation and restoration:
o Do it as soon as possible. The tendency is to put this off and just hope it goes away, but that usually just lets the issue fester and get even worse.
o Affirm the relationship. Let the person know that you are seeking to resolve the conflict or help him or her deal with their sin because you love that person.
o Make observations, not accusations. Address the actions rather than attack the other person’s character.
o Get the facts. Often things are not what they seem. Take time to listen. Don’t interrupt.
o Promote resolution. The point is not to win an argument or prove someone wrong or belittle the other person. The point is to restore the person to fellowship in the body.
I don’t have any particular facts to back this up, but my guess is that if both people involved at this point are genuine disciples of Jesus, in the vast majority of cases, the needed reconciliation and repentance will take place right at this point and no further action will be necessary. But when that doesn’t occur, we need to move to the second step.
• Step 2 – Take some witnesses
The purpose here is not to “gang up” on the other person, but rather to bring along some impartial witnesses who can observe the entire process and promote reconciliation. Often at this point, the person who was offended or who is bringing the accusation will find that he or she is the one who is at fault or who created the conflict or who sinned. And if that person is a genuine disciple with a humble heart, he or she will repent or seek forgiveness as needed.
Again, this should be a private meeting and nothing that is said or done should ever be communicated outside the people who are present – especially not as gossip that is cleverly disguised as a prayer request.
My experience has been that if the parties involved at this point are all genuine disciples, the process rarely proceeds to the next step. On the other hand, I’ve also observed that if the process gets to step 3, it almost always proceeds to the fourth and final step and that’s not what any of us want.
• Step 3 – Take it to the church
Jesus doesn’t give us any specifics here about exactly how to take the matter to the entire church. I think He gives us some latitude to do that in a manner that will promote unity and protect the fellowship of the body.
As I mentioned before, in the past this is often where we have made the mistake of short circuiting this process. And as a result the fellowship of our body was damaged to some extent. So after studying and praying through this passage this week, I’m beginning to understand better why we need to take this step even when the person chooses to leave our church in order to avoid being subject to this process.
Unfortunately some conflicts will not be resolved and some sin will not be acknowledged and repented of even at this point. And in the few cases were that occurs, we have to move to step 4.
• Step 4 – Separate
Jesus’ command to treat the person as a Gentile or tax collector seems pretty harsh to us. That doesn’t mean we quit loving them. Jesus loved Gentiles and tax collectors. But it does mean that there needs to be a separation in order to protect the body from the destructive power of unrepentant sin and unreconciled conflict.
But we need to remember that Matthew, who wrote the gospel we have been studying this morning, was a tax collector. His situation reminds us that there is always hope for those who have been separated from the body to be reconciled and restored to their place of fellowship, which is always the goal.
As I mentioned earlier, what Jesus is calling on His church to do in this passage is not reserved just for me or for our elders. In fact, I’m convinced that in most cases this process would be a whole lot more effective if we didn’t need to be involved in the process. It’s really only when the situation gets to step 3 that it is usually necessary to involve our church leadership.
I also understand that this is not something that is comfortable or pleasant to do. But if we really love the church, then we must be willing to get involved to protect the fellowship of our church like Jesus has called us to do here.
In a lot of ways, this is really comparable to the “tough love” that we must often exercise in our other relationships, especially with our families. Sometimes we have to deal with conflicts and confront damaging behaviors, because if they are left unchecked, they will both harm the other person and damage the relationship. We don’t do that because it is easy or because we enjoy it, but because we love the other person and know that is ultimately what is best for him or her, even if it means enduring some pain along the way.
As I said at the beginning of the message, I believe the greatest danger to the church is not opposition from without, but rather apathy inside the body that would allow conflict and sin to destroy us from within. I am certainly not suggesting this morning that we engage in some kind of “witch hunt” in which we go around digging into other people’s lives to try and uncover the sin in their lives. As Jesus reminds us, we had better first remove the log in our own eye before we go looking for the splinter in someone else’s eye.
But what I am saying is that where there is conflict and sin that comes to our attention, we ought to love the other people in this body enough to get involved in their lives in order to restore them and to protect the fellowship of our church. After all, isn’t that exactly what Jesus has done for each of us?
