• I’VE BEEN IN THIS PULPIT FOR MORE THAN A YEAR AND THIS IS THE FIRST LESSON THAT I’VE ATTEMPTED TO PREACH ON MARRIAGE.
• MAYBE I WAS AFRAID. TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK FROM THE WORD OF GOD ON A PARTICULAR SUBJECT, ONE MUST FEEL THAT HE HAS A MASTERY OF IT OR AT LEAST A WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF IT.
• MAYBE I FELT IT WASN’T NEEDED. WE HAVE SOME STRONG MARRIAGES AT DUNBAR ROAD.
• IF A MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE I WOULD HOPE THAT WE WOULD NOTICE AND RESPOND IN LOVE TO ENCOURAGE THE COUPLE TO STAY TOGETHER.
• MAYBE I DIDN’T WANT TO PREACH ON A SUBJECT THAT ONLY AFFECTS SOME OF THE FOLKS HERE. AFTER ALL, NOT ALL OF US ARE MARRIED.
• WHY PREACH A SERMON WHEN ONLY A QUARTER OF THE CONGREGATION CAN RELATE?
• IN READING AND STUDYING THE SCRIPTURES, I HAVE FOUND THAT THE BEGINNINGS OF ALL THINGS ARE IN THE BOOK OF GENESIS.
• IN GENESIS THE BOOK OF BEGINNINGS. WE READ OF GOD CREATING THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH. PLACING LAND MASSES, WATER, FRUIT, FLORA AND FAUNA ON THE PLANET.
• IN GENESIS WE SEE GOD CREATING LAND ANIMALS, THE GREAT SEA CREATURES AND BIRDS.
• IN GENESIS WE SEEN GOD CREATING MAN FROM THE DUST OF THE EARTH, AND WOMAN TAKEN FROM INSIDE THE MAN.
• IN GENESIS WE SEE GOD GIVING MANKIND THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE BECAUSE IT WAS HE WHO FIRST SAID “IT IS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE”.
• FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE MARRIED TO A HUMAN SPOUSE, THIS LESSON ON FIDELITY AND LOYALTY IS FOR US.
• FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE CHRISTIANS AND ARE NOT MARRIED TO A HUMAN SPOUSE, WE ARE STILL IN EFFECT “MARRIED” TO GOD.
• THIS LESSON IS GIVEN IN LOVE WITH THE EYE TOWARD ENCOURAGING ALL OF US, EVEN THE PREACHER, TO PRACTICE FIDELITY AND LOYALTY IN ALL THE AREAS OF OUR LIVES, INCLUDING OUR MARRIAGES: TO GOD AND TO ONE ANOTHER.
FATHER GOD,
PLEASE GUIDE OUR STUDY OF FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE TODAY ENCOURAGING OUR HEARTS TO OBEDIENCE CONVINCING US AND CONVICTING US OF YOUR TRUTH.
IT’S THROUGH JESUS WE PRAY,
AMEN
• THE WAY WE ACT TELLS OTHER PEOPLE WHAT WE WANT TO SAY.
• THE WAY WE ACT AND THE WORDS WE SAY EXPRESS OUR VALUES AND PRIORITIES.
• THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR LIVES SUFFER WHEN OUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS DON’T COME FROM A SENSE OF LOYALTY AND TRUST.
• THE PSALMIST CRIED OUT IN PSALM 12 “HELP, LORD, FOR THE GODLY MAN CEASES TO BE, FOR THE FAITHFUL DISAPPEAR FROM AMONG THE SONS OF MEN. THEY SPEAK FALSEHOOD TO ONE ANOTHER; WITH FLATTERING LIPS AND WITH A DOUBLE HEART THEY SPEAK.”
• THE NEW TESTAMENT TELLS CHRISTIANS TO ALLOW OUR LIVES TO BE GOVERNED BY THE LORD JESUS. OUR WORDS, THOUGHTS AND DEEDS SHOULD BE HIS.
• WE ARE TOLD TO LIVE OUR LIVES TO HIS ULTIMATE GLORY. COLOSSIANS 3:17. WHATEVER YOU DO IN WORD OR DEED, DO ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS, GIVING THANKS THROUGH HIM TO GOD THE FATHER.
• FIDELITY OR LOYALTY IS FROM THE GREEK WORD FOR FATIH;
• IT MEANS “THE CHARACTER OF ONE WHO CAN BE TRUSTED”.
• THAT WORD PISTIS IS USED IN THE NEW TESTAMENT TO MEAN FAITH, TRUSTWORTHINESS AND RELIABILITY.
• SO IT MUST BE IMPORTANT FOR CHRISTIANS TO HAVE FIDELITY AND FAITHFULNESS IN ALL THE AREAS OF OUR LIVES INCLUDING MARRIAGE.
• THERE ARE A FEW REASONS WHY THE WORD OF GOD EMPHASIZES FIDELITY AND LOYALTY.
• FIRST IS THE CHARACTER OF GOD HIMSELF. 1 CORINTHIANS 1:9- “GOD IS FAITHFUL” 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 “NO TEMPTATION HAS SEIZED YOU EXCEPT THAT WHICH IS COMMON TO MAN, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL…”2 CORINTHIANS 1:18 “GOD IS FAITHFUL…” 1 JOHN 1:9- “IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS, HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST TO FORGIVE OUR SINS AND CLEANSE US FROM ALL RIGHTEOUSNESS.”
• CLEARLY THE BIBLE TEACHES THAT THE SERVANTS OF GOD MUST SEEK TO BE FAITHFUL LIKE HIM.
• FIDELITY, LOYALTY AND FAITHFULNESS ARE ALSO THE CHARACTER OF JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD.
2 THESSALONIANS 3:3 “THE LORD IS FAITHFUL. HE WILL ESTABLISH AND GUARD YOU FROM THE EVIL ONE.”
HEBREWS 3:1-3- “THEREFORE, HOLY BRETHREN, PARTAKERS OF A HEAVENLY CALLING, CONSIDER JESUS, THE APOSTLE AND HIGH PRIEST OF OUR CONFESSION; HE WAS FAITHFUL TO HIM WHO APPOINTED HIM, AS MOSES ALSO WAS IN ALL HIS HOUSE. FOR HE HAS BEEN COUNTED WORTHY OF MORE GLORY THAN MOSES, BY JUST SO MUCH AS THE BUILDER OF THE HOUSE HAS MORE HONOR THAN THE HOUSE.”
REVELATION 1:5 “JESUS CHRIST THE FAITHFUL WITNESS, THE FIRSTBORN FROM THE DEAD AND THE RULER OF THE KINGS OF THE EARTH. HE LOVED US AND WASHED US FROM OUR SINS WITH HIS OWN BLOOD.”
REVELATION 3:14 CALLS CHRIST “FAITHFUL AND TRUE.” AS HE LEADS HIS CHURCH IN VICTORY OVER SIN AND THE PERSECUTION OF THE WORLD.
• WE NEED THE FAITHFULNESS OF JESUS TO INTERCEDE FOR US.
• WE NEED THE FAITHFULNESS OF JESUS TO BE TRUE TO HIS PROMISES TO FORGIVE US AND GIVE US ETERNAL LIFE.
• FIDELITY, LOYALTY AND FAITHFULNESS ARE ALSO THE CHARACTER OF THE SCRIPTURES.
ACTS 13:32-34 "AND WE PREACH TO YOU THE GOOD NEWS OF THE PROMISE MADE TO THE FATHERS, THAT GOD HAS FULFILLED THIS PROMISE TO OUR CHILDREN IN THAT HE RAISED UP JESUS, AS IT IS ALSO WRITTEN IN THE SECOND PSALM, 'YOU ARE MY SON; TODAY I HAVE BEGOTTEN YOU.' "AS FOR THE FACT THAT HE RAISED HIM UP FROM THE DEAD, NO LONGER TO RETURN TO DECAY, HE HAS SPOKEN IN THIS WAY: 'I WILL GIVE YOU THE HOLY AND SURE BLESSINGS OF DAVID.'
1 TIMOTHY 1:15 “HERE IS A TRUSTWORTHY SAYING ‘JESUS CHRIST CAME INTO THE WORLD TO SAVE SINNERS…’
• OUR SALVATION AND HOPE FOR THE FUTURE WITH GOD IN HEAVEN DEPEND ON THE TRUSTWORTHINESS OF THE BIBLE AS HIS SPECIAL MESSAGE TO MAN.
• IN THE PARABLE OF THE TALENTS (MATTHEW 25) JESUS TEACHES THAT THE ONLY THING SEPARATING A “GOOD” SERVANT FROM A “WICKED” ONE IS FIDELITY OR FAITHFULNESS.
• FIDELITY IS THE QUALITY THAT CHRISTIANS MUST HAVE IN LIVING OUR LIVES IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD. JESUS SAYS IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU’LL DO AS I SAY.”
• THIS IS A FAITHFULNESS THAT MUST BE “UNTO DEATH”.
• FAITHFULNESS TO GOD, PRODUCES IN US FAITHFULNESS TO OTHERS.
• A PERSON WHO CANNOT BE FAITHFUL TO GOD CANNOT BE FAITHFUL TO LOVING HIS NEIGHBOR AS HIMSELF.
• A PERSON WHO IS NOT FAITHFUL TO GOD CANNOT BE FAITHFUL IN BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS.
• A PERSON WHO CANNOT BE FAITHFUL TO GOD CANNOT BE FAITHFUL IN MARRIAGE AND DOMESTIC RELATIONSHIPS.
• IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN YOU DON’T NEED TO SWEAR AN OATH TO GOD TO MAKE YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS FAITHFUL. YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND IN THE REALITY OF GOD.
• KEEPING ALL THIS IN MIND, WE DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT BEFORE GOD TO COMPARTMENTALIZE OUR LIVES.
• THAT IS WE DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO PRACTICE FAITHFULNESS IN OUR RELIGIOUS LIVES BUT NEGLECT IT IN OUR DAILY LIVING.
• A HUSBAND WILL BE NO MORE FAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE THAN HE IS TO GOD.
• A WIFE WHO LOVES THE LORD WILL LOVE HER HUSBAND AND BE FAITHFUL TO HIM.
• SATAN, THE ADVERSARY OF FAITHFULNESS IS ALWAYS TRYING TO USE THE WEAKNESS OF A SPOUSE TO DESTROY FAITHFUL MARRIAGES.
• PAUL WRITES THAT WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE SCHEMES OF THE DEVIL.
• IF HE IS LOOKING TO DESTROY, WE MUST BE LOOKING TO EDIFY, ENCOURAGE, BE FAITHFUL IN OUR LOVE AND FORGIVE.
• THERE ARE SEVEN AREAS THAT CAN THREATEN MARITAL FIDELITY. IF WE ARE AWARE OF THESE FACTORS WE CAN BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR EVIL INFLUENCES THAT CHALLENGE FIDELITY IN OUR MARRIAGES.
• FIRST CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- A LACK OF FIDELITY TO THE WORD AND WILL OF GOD.
PSALM 127:1-2 “UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE, THEY LABOR IN VAIN WHO BUILD IT; UNLESS THE LORD GUARDS THE CITY, THE WATCHMAN KEEPS AWAKE IN VAIN. IT IS VAIN FOR YOU TO RISE UP EARLY, TO RETIRE LATE, TO EAT THE BREAD OF PAINFUL LABORS; FOR HE GIVES TO HIS BELOVED EVEN IN HIS SLEEP.”
• WHEN MARRIAGE PARTNERS ARE UNCLEAR OR UNDECIDED ON THEIR VIEW AND DEVOTION TO THE WORD AND WILL OF GOD AND DON’T HAVE THE LORD IN THE CENTER OF THEIR MARRIAGE, THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.
• CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE BASED ON GOD’S LOVE.
• DECISIONS IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE NEED TO BE FOUNDED ON HIS PRECEPTS.
• SECOND CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- BASING OUR MARRIAGES ON MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. MARRYING FOR COMFORT, NECESSITY OR MONEY.
• MATTHEW 6:33 A MARRIAGE IS AT ITS MOST VULNERABLE WHEN ENOUGH TIME HAS GONE BY FOR US TO ACCUMULATE STUFF. POSSESSIONS.
• MANY COUPLES DIVORCE BECAUSE THEIR EXPECTATIONS TO GET “STUFF’ WASN’T FULFILLED BY THEIR SPOUSE.
• THIRD CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY. MARRIAGE IS A HUMAN RELATIONSHIP. PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT. THERE WILL BE DISAGREEMENTS.
• SELF CENTEREDNESS, MANIPULATION, DICTATORIAL DEMANDS, CONTROL, BAD ATTITUDES, THE SILENT TREATMENT, THREATS, NAGGING.
• ALL THESE NEGATIVES CAN MAKE A MARRIAGE VULNERABLE TO INFIDELITY.
• FOURTH CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- WITHDRAWING FROM COMMUNICATION. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION. WHEN PARTNERS IN MARRIAGE ARGUE AND DON’T RESOLVE THEIR DIFFERENCES, THOSE ISSUES WILL MULTIPLY.
• SOONER OR LATER IF THEY ARE LEFT UNRESOLVED THEY WILL EXPLODE.
• IN MARRIAGE JAMES 1:9 AND ROMANS 12:18: SHOULD ALWAYS APPLY ”BE SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO ANGER.” AND “AS FAR AS IT IS UP TO YOU, MAKE IT YOUR GOAL TO LIVE AT PEACE WITH EVERYONE.”
• FIFTH CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- A LACK OF HONESTY. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SPEAKING THE TRUTH, LIVING THE TRUTH AND OPENNESS.
• WHEN WE ARE UNITED IN “ONE FLESH” WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WE CANNOT HOLD ONTO AND HIDE DOUBLE LIVES.
• WE CANNOT BE DOUBLE TONGUED IN OUR SPEECH. WE CANNOT BE DOUBLE MINDED IN OUR AFFECTIONS.
• THE SIXTH CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- FANTASIZING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. JESUS TEACHES US THAT THE MIND AND BODY ARE INSEPARABLE. MATTHEW 15:11 “WHAT GOES INTO A MAN'S MOUTH DOES NOT MAKE HIM 'UNCLEAN,' BUT WHAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH, THAT IS WHAT MAKES HIM 'UNCLEAN.' "
• HE SAYS THE MIND PROVIDES THE MOTIVATIONS OF THE BODY.
• THE HUMAN MIND IS SO POWERFUL THAT WE CAN VISUALIZE SEXUAL RELATIONS THROUGH OUR FANTASIES.
• WE NEED TO AVOID PORNOGRAPHY. WE NEED TO AVOID THE RISQUÉ MEDIA, TV AND BOOKS.
• WE NEED TO AVOID FANTASIZING ABOUT CO WORKERS AND FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
MATTHEW 5:27 "YOU HAVE HEARD THAT IT WAS SAID, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; BUT I SAY TO YOU THAT EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AT A WOMAN WITH LUST FOR HER HAS ALREADY COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART.”
• HUSBANDS AND WIVES ARE EXCLUSIVELY OBLIGATED TO ONE ANOTHER BY THEIR MARRIAGE VOWS.
1 CORINTHIANS 7:1. NOW CONCERNING THE THINGS ABOUT WHICH YOU WROTE, IT IS GOOD FOR A MAN NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN. BUT BECAUSE OF IMMORALITIES, EACH MAN IS TO HAVE HIS OWN WIFE, AND EACH WOMAN IS TO HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND. THE HUSBAND MUST FULFILL HIS DUTY TO HIS WIFE, AND LIKEWISE ALSO THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND. THE WIFE DOES NOT HAVE AUTHORITY OVER HER OWN BODY, BUT THE HUSBAND DOES; AND LIKEWISE ALSO THE HUSBAND DOES NOT HAVE AUTHORITY OVER HIS OWN BODY, BUT THE WIFE DOES.
• WE CAN NEVER USE THE EXCUSE BEFORE GOD THAT WE “LOOKED BUT WE DIDN’T TOUCH”.
• THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE DESTROYS FAITHFULNESS.
• THIS IS STRICTLY FOR CHRISTIAN MEN…AS FOLLOWERS OF THE LORD JESUS WE MUST TAKE THE LEAD AND SHOW THE WORLD THAT WE CAN OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO MAKE THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD OUR SEXUAL PLAYTHINGS!
• FINAL CHALLENGE TO MARITAL FIDELITY- INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX.
• WE DON’T NEED TO FLIRT!
• HUSBANDS AND WIVES NEED TO AGREE ON HOW WE WILL RELATE TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
• HAVING A “BUSINESS LUNCH”, STOPPING AFTER WORK “FOR A DRINK”? JUST A LITTLE “UNWINDING” AFTER A HARD DAY’S WORK WITH A CO WORKER OR YOUR SECRETARY?
• SAVE IT FOR YOUR SPOUSE! DON’T BE FOOLED!
• DON’T FALL FOR THE ILLUSION THAT THAT PERSON YOU SPEND TIME WITH AFTER WORK IS MORE UNDERSTANDING THAT YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND.
• NOT ONLY IS IT IMPORTANT TO AVOID INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE, WE MUST CULTIVATE AND STRENGTHEN FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE.
• HERE ARE FOUR THINGS TO HELP COUPLES BE FAITHFUL TO ONE ANOTHER.
• FIRST WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT IN OUR MARRIAGES WE ARE FAITHFUL TO GOD AND HIS WORD IN EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES.
• IN CHRISTIANITY AND IN MARRIAGE WE BRING ALL OF OUR ISSUES AND BAGGAGE INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.
• WE CAN BE NO MORE FAITHFUL TO OUR SPOUSE THAT WE ARE TO GOD.
• SECOND- WE NEED TO STRENGTHEN THE SPIRITUAL BOND IN OUR MARRIAGES BY FOCUSING ON SPIRITUAL THINGS AS A COUPLE.
• WORSHIP, WORKING AND SERVING IN THE CHURCH, DEDICATION TO SPENDING TIME WITH ONE ANOTHER IN THE WORD OF GOD.
• PRAY TOGETHER, SING TOGETHER AND LET THE WORD OF CHRIST DWELL IN YOUR MARRIAGE RICHLY. (COLOSSIANS 3:16)
• LET’S USE OUR MARRIAGES TO HELP ONE ANOTHER GROW INTO PEOPLE WITH WHOM GOD IS PLEASED.
• THIRD WAY TO STRENGTHEN FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE- SET REASONABLE, REALISTIC GOALS.
• DON’T LOOK AROUND FOR GREENER PASTURES. THERE ARE NO GREENER PASTURES!
• IN OUR MARRIAGES WE NEED TO DEVELOP REGULAR RITUALS AND SPEND REGULAR TIME WITH OUR MATES.
• WE NEED TO TREASURE EACH OTHERS COMPANY AND COMPANIONSHIP.
• THIS IS THE PERSON WE PROMISED TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES WITH.
• DON’T WAIT UNTIL THE NEST IS EMPTY BEFORE WE FIND TIME TO SPEND WITH OUR MATES.
• FINALLY TO COMBAT INFIDELITY WE NEED TO MAKE OURSELVES VULNERABLE TO OUR SPOUSES.
• TELL YOUR WIFE, TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR FEARS, YOUR HOPES, YOUR DREAMS, YOUR DIFFICULTIES, YOUR DESIRES, EVEN YOUR MISTAKES.
• MAKE TIME TO TALK TO ONE ANOTHER. MAKE TIME FOR ACTIVITIES THAT INTEREST BOTH OF YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS.
• WE ENTER INTO MARRIAGE VOLUNTARILY.
• WHO WE ARE AT HOME SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENT FROM WHO WE ARE IN PUBLIC.
• THE CHALLENGE TO BE FAITHFUL AND MAINTAIN FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE BEGINS IN OUR HEARTS.
• WE NEED TO EVALUATE OR HEARTS IN VIEW OF GOD’S WORD AND LOVE OUR SPOUSES WITH INTEGRITY, HONESTY AND FIDELITY JUST AS GOD LOVES US.
