Fifty Shades of Grace
-Love belongs to God! It not only belongs to Him, it is Him and He is it! God is love! So if anyone has anything to say about love, it would be God Himself. Out of love God created mankind, each one of us fearfully and wonderfully made. He made us in His own image with the capacity to willingly give and receive love. His plan is for us to join in His love and love Him back, and also to love all those created in His image – our fellow man. Not too many people would argue the fact that we as a human race have not handled this gift very well at all. Instead of giving and receiving love, too many of us give and receive hatred, selfishness, lust, greed, and have made this world a hostile place for love to dwell. And yet for every failure and every offense we have committed against Love (against God Himself), He continues to offer His grace to heal us and to cover every shade of gray and the very blackness of sin that lurks in our hearts.
-I am playing off the title of a controversial movie that came out yesterday, based on a shady novel trilogy. Apparently, this movie glorifies premarital sex, promotes sexual deviance, making it seem normal to find pleasure in rough treatment, abuse, and sexual slavery. Let me strongly suggest that you NOT read the books or see the movie or support such a twisted message in any way. However, let me also say, that for those who have traveled down those shady roads in search of fulfillment, God’s grace is enough to cover every dark deed. When we come to Him in faith, asking for life and help and hope and healing, we will not be turned away! For every shade of gray there is grace that heals and restores!
-One of the reasons I’m even giving attention to this movie is because the same spirit of self-centered desire lurks in the hearts of people today. And unfortunately, the church isn’t quite sure what to do about it. But Jesus had a lot to say about love and sex and marriage. It is amazing how our thinking can get so twisted about how to love and respect humans in general, or a spouse in particular. Selfishness colors everything around us until common sense and decency gets lost, having been painted over with these shades of gray.
-And this same selfish spirit was working in the hearts of men in Jesus’ day. And that is what our passage is about today. Matthew 5:27-32
-As we look at this passage, it helps us to realize that Jesus was dealing with issues of the heart, not simply outward appearances. God Himself said in 1 Samuel 16:7 “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Here is the main truth for today:
Prop: Faithless hearts can change when God’s grace makes them new.
TS: Let’s look at a few thoughts on how followers of Christ can deal with these matters of the heart.
I. Kingdom of heaven hearts are incompatible with selfish living (27-30)
A. Change the heart and close the windows (27-28)
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
-Eyes are the windows of the heart. Most windows have some kind of shades, blinds, or shutters. Shutters are useful - use them! God gave us a couple of gifts that might help us here: eyelids and a moveable neck. There are times we need to close our eyes or turn away from whatever might be a source of temptation to us.
-Jesus indicated that immorality and unfaithfulness in marriage were issues that began in the heart. Just leaving the windows opened longer than they should be can awaken desires that can lead to adulterous actions. Heart adultery might begin with just a look. That is what happened with King David. His army was out doing battle, but he stayed home so Israel’s king would not be put at unnecessary risk. He had time on his hands and as he looked out from his palace rooftop, he saw a woman bathing. Instead of closing his eyes or turning away to protect her purity and his own, he got out his binoculars. He kept his heart windows opened to the wrong view, lusted after her and soon followed his desires up with action.
-The obvious thing to do is to close your eyes and turn away from temptation. But as every man in here knows, what an intense struggle that can be! Close the windows of the heart to the things that will destroy marriages and families.
-Now let’s be real and clear here. There will be times when we will look out the windows of our heart and be attracted by the appearance of a person to whom we are not married. Suddenly we have the thought that we would like to be with that person in a way that would not honor the Lord. This is not what the Lord called adultery in the heart – at least not yet. But it does bring us to a crossroads of sorts. See, it is not a sin to be tempted, even though we should avoid entering temptation. An old Chinese proverb says, “You can't keep a bird from flying over your head, but you do not have to let them build a nest in your hair.” Being tempted is not a sin. The issue is how we respond to that temptation. And what Jesus is saying is that the immoral act of adultery is a heart issue long before it becomes a behavior issue.
-God’s grace changes us and empowers us to say no to the things that bring harm to ourselves or others. Titus 2:11-12 11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.
-So, the best defense is to receive the grace of God and allow Him to change your heart so that adultery or other forms of immorality have no place in your life. Despite its wide acceptance in our culture today, having sex with someone you are not married to is not loving, it is not kind, and it does not make sense. It only brings harm and deep heartache to those who were created in God’s image.
-On the contrary, someone with a KOH heart will throw themselves into their marriage and work to make it special. I read something yesterday called The Marriage Box that reminds us what it takes to make a marriage work: “Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc ... The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage, you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.”
-Jesus calls those in the kingdom of heaven, those under God’s rule, to continue to receive His life which has and will change their hearts. A person whose heart has been filled with grace will not live selfishly, taking what does not belong to him. And he will not sit and fantasize about doing so.
B. Recognize the real cause of sin (29-30)
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
-It was common for teachers and orators of Jesus’ time to emphasize a truth by use of exaggeration (hyperbole). So, Jesus wasn’t promoting self-mutilation. An early church father named Origen took these verses so literally that he had himself castrated. I don’t know if that took care of the lust problem in his heart or not. I do know that gouging out an eye or cutting off a hand will not effectively cure the matters of the heart. Even someone with no eyes and no hands has an imagination and can still have a heart filled with evil desires.
-Look back at Matthew 5:20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
-The religious leaders were all about laws. Somehow they missed the reality that God really is more concerned about our hearts than our behavior. They thought they could simply modify their behavior, avoiding all the things that would bring curses and judgment down on them. But righteousness does not consist of following laws and avoiding wrong behavior. Righteousness is about who we are on the inside. And if we are not right on the inside then we are not right.
-So, what was Jesus saying here? I believe on one level He was stressing the importance of keeping ourselves away from sin. Cut off the opportunities to sin. But if we stop there then we are back to self-efforts and behavior modification. There may be times when we can do nothing else but run from temptation. But what Jesus is all about is changing us by His grace so that who we are in Him will never fit with actions that offend Him and that harm those around us.
-Here is the essence of what I believe Jesus was saying: If your eye was the problem, you could gouge it out and be righteous. If your hand was the problem, then you could cut it off and be righteous. However, since your heart is where the sin problem really is, then turn to Me and I will give you a new heart! Trust in Me and I will do something new inside of you! Turn to Me and I will teach you to live from the heart. And that is what true righteousness is based on – a genuine relationship of love and trust with God through Jesus. It was true for the people who heard Jesus speak that day, and it is still true for us today.
-Just purposing to look away is not enough. Blinding yourself would not be enough. Maiming or disabling yourself would not be enough because you would still be you and your heart would still be evil. It is only through surrender to Jesus that our hearts are changed and our lives are renewed.
II. Kingdom of heaven hearts value every human life (31-32)
31 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
-When Jesus talked about lust in v.28 He seemed to relate it to the value He has placed on people. Last week we talked about how much God values every person and how we should value them because they were created in the image of God. When a man lusts after another woman, he fails to recognize her as a person formed in God’s image. Instead she becomes an object to satisfy his selfish desires.
-Now, in these verses Jesus shows how so called respectable men were committing heart-adultery by abandoning their wives under the guise of allowable divorce as provided in the Law of Moses, or from the opinions of various rabbis or Jewish schools of thought. [Some rabbis taught that you could divorce your wife for burning the food or over salting it. One rabbi taught that if the appearance of another woman pleased a man more than the appearance of his wife, then he could divorce her.] Not only do they devalue the woman they are lusting after, they devalue their wife and family by abandoning them.
-There is no room for selfishness in God’s kingdom. Guard the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is designed to provide a lifetime bond between one man and one woman. It also provides a safe haven in which children can grow and learn to love God and man. When a marriage is shattered, no matter how socially acceptable divorce becomes, a lot of people get hurt really bad. I don’t say this to condemn or bring a guilt trip on anyone who has been through a divorce. God can help us put our lives back together- even after divorce. His 50 shades of grace are enough to outweigh the 50 shades of gray!
-The matter of the heart Jesus is addressing here is how we value others. If we can remember that every person on this earth was created in God’s image and has immense, everlasting value, that will affect the way we treat one another.
-Some of the nastiest, ugliest words ever heard are often exchanged between two people who at one time said they loved each other. Problems, pressures, financial worries, kids, in-laws, disagreements, and many other things can really test the commitment between a husband and wife. At some point they lose sight of the value of the other person and try to start over with someone else. I know it’s not always that cut and dry, but often it is. Unfortunately, unless God intervenes, they may lose sight of the God-given value of the next person as well.
-Those who follow Christ will learn to recognize the value God has placed in every human being- His very own image.
-Now, how can we go about ? Well, I was hoping you would ask.
-TS: Let’s talk about it.
III. Kingdom of heaven hearts know they cannot do it themselves
-Jesus came to help us do what we could never do ourselves. Jesus demonstrated God’s love for us by coming to this earth and dying as a sacrifice for us. We had no strength to help ourselves, but God stepped in and made a way through Jesus.
-Our best efforts fall miserably short of God’s goodness. When we receive God’s love, He enables us to love Him and other people. God is the One who will help us recognize His image in others. One reason we may have trouble recognizing God’s image may be because we don’t really know what God is like. Would you know Him if you saw Him? Well, He shows up everyday in the people around you. Will you honor Him by honoring those made in His image?
-I’m pretty sure this is what Jesus was saying when He said, “However you treat the lowest person is how you are treating Me” (my paraphrase of Mt. 25).
-If you don’t know what God is like, you won’t know what He looks like in other people. There are two things that will help you know God. First, meet Him. Yes, you can meet God and start a friendship with Him. He loves you and wants to change your heart and life so that it looks more like His. The second thing that will help you know God after you’ve met Him is to develop your friendship with Him. The best way I know to do that is to talk to Him and to read His biography. The Bible is the most complete book we have that tells us about God. In one sense it is His autobiography because He breathed the words into people who were in close friendship with Him and they wrote what He told them to write. One reason to go to church is to hear more and learn more about God through His word and through His people who are being restored to His image.
Conclusion: As we close, here’s the bottom line: We all need help to know God and to recognize His image in others. We all need help to keep ourselves away from sin. I’ve heard some amazing testimonies of men who were addicted to pornography and had trouble seeing the true value in women. God helped set them free. He helped them learn to close the windows of their heart to the wrong things, but open them to Him and His love.
-The help we need comes from above. God wants to come into our lives and help us become more like Him – the way He designed us.
-If you’re at a place where you recognize how much you need His help today, I’d love to pray for you and ask Jesus to meet you where you are. If you’ve not met Him yet, I’d love to introduce you to Him. He’s been waiting for this all of your life.
-Whatever you need from the Lord today, just ask Him. But in all your asking, ask Him to make you more like Him, loving the things that He loves and doing the things He does. If you want to talk to someone or pray with someone, please let me know. [Pray]
