Anger Management
Matthew 5:21-26 21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, 'is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. 25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
1. What lies beneath
Matthew 5:21-22 21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
-Anger is an automatic spontaneous response to having our will hindered or our life interfered with. In this sense it is not wrong. Anger is a feeling that grabs us physically and moves us immediately toward interfering with and possibly even harming those who interfering with us. Anger itself is often used to manipulate others since it often wounds them to simply know you are angry with them. Angry people raise the stress level of everyone around them, and sometimes we get angry in return because their anger is interfering with our life.
-So the primary function of anger is to alert me to the fact that something is obstructing my will, immediately raising alarm and resistance before I can even think about it. This is a normal God-given function, but it can quickly become something dark and evil.
-Once we begin to direct anger at a person, there is some level of malice involved. That’s why we don’t like it when someone is angry with us. We know that they wish us some level of harm- even if only emotionally. They want us to get out of their way and will make life unpleasant for us until we do.
-Jesus alluded to 1 of the 10 commandments, Thou shall not kill (murder). But Jesus went a little deeper than the action of taking someone’s life. He brought to surface the attitude of the heart that can lead to such an unthinkable action.
-Anger is generally the root cause of murder. Many murders are committed out of rage and hatred for another person. Jesus is going back to the heart of the issue and instead of saying, “Thou shalt not murder, He says, “Control the anger that leads to violence.”
-Anger can be a good thing and serve good purposes. It is a God-given emotion. However, it has a destructive side to it that can hurt people and hinder your relationship with God.
-So being angry can create problems, but venting anger with words or actions, giving in to the beast it can become will create some serious problems as well.
2. The Escalation of Anger
Matthew 5:22 … anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, 'is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Anger/Contempt/Pure Malice/Murder – Unresolved anger becomes a premeditated act of the will. There seems to be a progression or levels of anger that can lead to bigger problems and cause more damage to all parties.
-“Raca” was an Aramaic word that was used to express contempt for someone and mark them out as contemptible. When I’m angry I want you to hurt. When I feel contempt I don’t care whether you are hurt or not. I have disregard for your feelings b/c you have interfered with my life. In contempt, (raca), I deny the worth of the person I am angry with. Apparently this kind of offense could land you in front of the Sanhedrin.
-The issue here is what we call the sanctity of human life. Man was made in God’s image, and as such, every human being possesses value and has worth. Genesis 1:26-27 26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…”. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
-This is where our value lies – made in the image of God! And it is where everyone else’s value lies. Now, why is calling someone a fool so serious? Jesus said you would be in danger of the fire of hell.
-It might be a case of something being lost in translation. The word fool today does not seem to carry the cold contempt or withering anger that it did in Jesus’ time. Calling someone a fool approached the stage of such malice and hatred that it sought to strip that person of all value, perhaps even wishing them dead.
-Here’s a question for you: How far have you given yourself permission to go when you get angry? What boundaries have you established for your anger? What is so important that you would chew out, spit out, or strike out at someone who was created in God’s image? Is it pride, reputation, dominance? Is it the need to be right, to look good in front of others?
-When we devalue another human who was made in God’s image, we are disrespecting God Himself. At least respect the image of God in that person, even if it is hard to see. What they do with God’s image is up to them, but what you do with it is up to you, and you will answer to the God whose image you bear.
-God looks deeper than the actions, right into the heart of man. Before it ever turns into murder, it begins as a thought, then an insulting word, then an insulting action, and then to violence. Don’t feed the beast! Respect will help us bite our tongue. Save your venom for your real enemy.
3. Putting Anger in its Place
23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. 25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
-Jesus now shows what a Kingdom of heaven heart looks like. Instead of the angry, spitting, vengeful person we just read about, Jesus calls those in the kingdom of heaven to seek reconciliation, both for your sake and for the sake of the person who is angry with you. If they are angry with you and it is allowed to build and fester, it may lead to a punishable offense and perhaps harm to yourself.
-So, the person with a kingdom of heaven heart, when they go to worship God, if they realize that something needs resolved, then Jesus says to go take care of it now, then come back and worship.
-Offenses will come, but we must not allow them to blind us to the value God has placed on every human He created. When we hate those created in God’s image, we are indirectly showing contempt for God.
-Whether we are offended by someone else (which, btw, is not characteristic of love in 1 Cor. 13:5), or if we have offended someone else, it will hinder our connection with God. Our prayers will not be very effective, and we will not be very close to God, the One who loves us and wants us to be close to Him.
-Jesus gives instructions for dealing with offenses in this chapter, and in Matthew 18. In this chapter He says that if someone has something against you (indicating that you may have wronged him or her), GO and make things right before you go through the motions of worship! Otherwise, your sacrifice of worship to God will not be received. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus says that if you have something against somebody else (they’ve wronged you or sinned against you in some way), Go and do all you can to make things right. If they refuse to reconcile, then there are steps to take.
-The important thing is this: Offenses can cut you off from God’s presence if you don’t deal with them.
The urgency of settling offenses – If we’ve wronged someone else, or even if it is just their perception that we have wronged them, we need to find a way to settle the issue as quickly as possible. Three little words are often all it takes: I was wrong! Don’t make excuses or make it look like it was really their fault. Take responsibility for the situation- even if you were completely innocent in your heart when your actions offended them. Say, “I think I’ve offended you and I’m very sorry. Can we talk about it?” Nothing is worth ruining a relationship with someone who was made in the image of God. Make it right.
The last penny – If we refuse to take the path of reconciliation, then we assume full responsibility for our own debt. However, our debt is too great for us to ever pay.
-Jesus told a story about a man who owed the king what might have been the equivalent of millions of dollars. He begged the King to have mercy on him and the king did. In fact, he forgave the entire debt. But not long after that, this man met someone who owed him $100. He grabbed him and had him thrown in jail until he paid up. The man begged for mercy but received none. When the king heard about it, he wasn’t happy. He ordered the unmerciful man to be thrown in prison until he paid all that he owed- which was never going to happen!
-We can never pay for our own sins. That is why the punishment for rejecting God’s grace is eternal. An eternity of suffering will never atone for our offenses against God. The last penny will never be paid for those who refuse to settle their offenses against God. However, for those who ask for mercy, and are willing to face their offenses against God and man, their debt will be paid in full!
-Conclusion: So, Jesus teaches these people whom He has already been ministering to. He has healed their sicknesses and brought them into the kingdom of heaven. He revealed to them how blessed they were – even though their life situations might have been unpleasant at times. He showed the value He placed on them by calling them the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Now He shows them what kind of attitude they are to have towards others. It’s not enough to not kill someone. If your anger is controlling you, then you are completely out of harmony with the kingdom of heaven. Peacemakers are called sons and daughters of God! Haters and those controlled by anger and rage do not look like sons and daughters of God. But Jesus didn’t just say, “Don’t be angry.” He has already given them new life and new hearts as they have entered the kingdom of God. So they have everything they need to overcome the wrong thinking that can lead to wrong actions.
-We have the life of God in us. Titus 2:11-12 11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.
-Nurture your kingdom heart. Put off anger and malice. Let your light shine….
(Several thoughts on anger adapted from Dallas Willard’s book, The Divine Conspiracy)
