CULTURE OF LIES
by
Dr. Gale A. Ragan-Reid (September 15, 2015)
“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (St. Matthew 7: 12, King James Version [Spiritual Standard---The Golden Rule]).
Greetings In The Holy Name Of Jesus,
My sisters and brothers in Christ, I come to you with the love of Christ deeply woven in my soul, my heart, and my mind of which I speak to you concerning respect for one another, not of the flesh but out of love---the love of God which abides within you [“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (St. Matthew 7: 12, King James Version [Spiritual Standard---The Golden Rule]). Recently, a gentleman---for I hold no evidence against that fact, wrote in a social media forum that one morning he purchased his cup of Joe from a noteworthy donuts shop where he noticed a beautiful lady. He greeted the beautiful lady with “Hello, beautiful.” Then, he told her that when she used her eyebrow liner pencil she missed some spots on her eyebrows, a comment that inflamed her to the point he judged her as having an attitude. Perhaps,---just maybe the comment,--- you missed some spots, sounded like,--- big lips, big but, big bottom, big ass, big derriere, corns on your toes, nappy head, blackie, darkie---even black woman with bad attitude---all the marks of shame and disgrace from a man of your same neighborhood and possibly same kind of upbringing---a mockery of her success out in the world, trying to make her mark in the world, trying to make her neighborhood proud of her and if no one else could excuse her haste in applying eyebrow liner to her eyebrows then she possibly thought he could---she thought he would but she only felt his laughter---his scorn and she only heard his cold comment, “You have attitude.”
How do you not become a sister with an attitude---negative attitude when you are a woman in need of tender loving care and you constantly get rebuked? Is it the chastisement that God speaks of that he gives to his children of whom he so truly loves or is it doing unto others what you do not want done to you? If you want a sister to say you are a fine brother and not notice that something in your care was left undone this morning or hardly done to anyone's perfection or barely done at all, then is it impossible for you to see a beautiful woman and not scoff at perhaps something was left undone or hardly done or barely done at all. Is this not why the holy gospel reading of Matthew says, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it” (7:13, KJV). More importantly, without judging the intention to create a hostile environment, I think for a man to say, “Hello, beautiful.” is sufficient without going into the imperfections of dressing up to present oneself to the world---what about seeing her light of Christ---does the missed spot---make her less, darken her heart, confuse her mind. Many people find it difficult to address sensitive issues such as make up, food on your face, something in your teeth, bad breath, passing gas, toilet paper on your shoe, manicure gone bad, pedicure gone bad, hair needing a touch up, simply because of lack of finances, rushed scheduling, feeling poorly, lost self-esteem, depressed feeling, and feeling mediocre towards reaching a higher standard of presentation---exaltation in Christ. Are any of the criticisms truth?
Moreover, a sister of color spoke to me about a nation of people of color---not her nation, she spoke that they judged each other by the color of their skin----light-skinned, dark-skinned and it reminded her of her childhood being born to parents, one light-skinned and one dark-skinned, her siblings came out, some light-skinned and some dark-skinned, she called herself a dark-skinned sister and said her sisters called her, “darkie”----all of those memories made her feel inadequate to attend a wedding of the people of the nation that judged each other by color of complexion---at least she felt that way. She told me I was lighter than she was. At first thought, I did not know what she was talking about because I did
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not remember growing up in a family that called each other “darkie”. I heard a comedian on national television say she was over it---”It”---meaning being called “blackie”. As a married adult, I remember “black face” from tanning in the face area too much but in childhood I remember name calling like long head and I remember one of my male siblings made a song about nappy hair---every nap has its own snap and every snap has its own rap and he would go on and on about it, without anyone's laughter. We just heard it. Maybe we did laugh but I do not remember falling out of the chair kind of laughter, maybe more, “You're crazy”---a silent thought made to him---kind of laughter because he was a boy of respect that grew into a man of respect, so some words or thoughts remained silent---went unsaid to the family---held in your heart and mind as private thoughts about an issue.
Most importantly, I told my friend I worked with families and taught children from that nation of color for more than 15 years and I never saw what she spoke of. I told her sibling rivalry is pervasive in families throughout America and the world---all the children jockeying and volleying for favor to get something---money, gifts, permission to do something, some wanting the lion's share---more than their share and using any name calling that will knock a contender---a competitor off their balance---trying to make them not compete, back off, leave the stage, let them have it all. Recently, a kin came to see me after I returned from holiday but I caught him getting my fish out of my outside fish tank or it seemed he was trying to get water but I question, why out of the fish tank when the water hose was right there in front of him. Well, he said, “You said I couldn't get so I put it back,” then he proceeded to use profanity---we call it---cursing you out---well he cursed me out for a whole country block--- all the way back to his estate.
My kin used every curse word known to man---I felt listening to him. I think he wanted to kill me with his words---crush me to death under the shame of public disgrace, but I remained standing---I even feel like more spirits of other kins possessed him and cursed me out, similar to Jesus trying to talk to Peter and a spirit coming between them. I think he was possessed because although he is known to curse out his mother---mentally challenged---I feel there were many spirits at work cursing me out. Thank God I did not shrink into oblivion or dread the light of day hiding out in my house I continued on and remained in good graces---I am not shock proof---I felt the hit but the hit felt me, my light of Christ--- God's foreboding and forewarning as well. Was I lady-like? I fought the battle before me with as much lady-like skills as possible---there were no physical altercations and his mother was with him---also mentally challenged but she kept telling him I gave him permission to use the water hose but I said since he cursed me and could not stop himself it was best to not get the water [I contacted another kin, who took them water straight away].
The battle is truly the Lord's. I did not hear him call me names of colors references but what he did say was enough to peel off the top layer of my skin---to get under my skin---to upset me so much to make me have a heart attack or a stroke or to force me to snap in my mind---to become mentally challenged as well. My sisters and brothers, bit-by-bit, comes the attack of Satan, taking us apart bit-by-bit until we break---shatter into pieces---come unraveled in our mind and hopefully darken our hearts and lose our souls but God is mighty in battle and one Christian can stand against 1,000, however, severe the attack---the demons must respond to the Words of God---even if the attack is who can curse the other out the best, be led by the spirit---for God will see you through and do not harshly judge yourself if you do meet each curse word with your curse word---going back and forth, tick-for tack---the Words of God will come to you, practice a battle scripture for battle times that you can say over and over again until the devil backs off and leaves [Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. Oh, Lord, my strength and my redeemer.]. There was an old woman who kept telling her attacker that he was going to the fires of hell---damnation when he came to rob and kill her and she kept saying it until he turned around and he left her house. Maybe your battle is name-calling or maybe your battle is an attack unto death---Jesus saves.
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In reflection, we do not know if the gentleman got his girl---the beautiful woman he met at the donuts shop. However, the sister who attended the wedding expecting color barriers from a nation of people of color said, “It was the best wedding she ever attended.” I thank God her low expectations changed to high expectations and that was just what she received at that wedding, what she expected.
As for me, I never took it to heart when my husband commented that I had a black face when I tanned [ He was not raised in the southern states but his mother was raised in the southern states]---I still stay out in the sun doing yard work and gardening but I do try to not let my face tan more than the rest of my body---it is a conscious effort on my part to give the best presentation of myself to the world. It is not easy to overcome barriers---walls of perceptions that target you with misgivings, especially when you are an outside person---enjoying outside activities as much or even more than indoor activities. Lord, save me.
In closing, “Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it” (St. Matthew 7:14, KJV). Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Christ be with you. Amen.
