Dear Forgetful
I Samuel 7:1-4 Revelation 2:1-7
Everybody loves a love story, and there is no greater love story in the history of the world than the one found in this book. This book is the story of a love that is patient and kind, faithful and everlasting. It is the story of a God who loved us before we were born and Who loves us no matter what. This book is the story of God’s love for a world He created including you and including me. Every one of us has tasted love at some time in our lives; from a mom or a dad, from a husband or a wife, from a child or a close friend. We know something about human love….and as wonderful a mom or dad’s love is, as sweet as love is from a spouse or a child or a friend, nothing comes close to the love or satisfies the human heart like the love of Jesus.
This first letter to the churches in Revelation is written to the church in Ephesus, to a group of Christians who fell in love with Jesus. And they are a church that Jesus loves so deeply and so completely that He calls the church there, “His bride”.
At the time this letter was written, a lot had happened in Ephesus in the 50-60 years since Jesus’ death and resurrection. Ephesus was one of the larger cities in the Roman Empire and a center of commerce, a capital for crime and a gathering place for all sorts of religions. But the seed of the gospel of Jesus was planted there and quickly took root. The church at Ephesus flourished and in fact, became the largest and strongest church in the world at that time. It was the headquarters for the Apostle John; Bishop John. But if you visit Ephesus today, you will find that Ephesus is predominately Muslim and the church there is only a shell, a remnant of what it once was. And as we read in this letter from the Spirit of Christ to His Bride in Ephesus…we discover what went wrong.
“You’re working hard, staying busy…even enduring some hardships; you’re holding regular church services, but here’s the problem: You have forgotten your first love.” Now we can forget a lot of things. We forget where we put the car keys, we forget appointments and birthdates and anniversaries. We forget where we left our phone and we forget our password and even why we went into the next room! But how do you forget your first love??? No one forgets their first love! Mine was Sandra Scott; a beautiful red haired girl in Miss Dutton’s first grade class. She was my first love. But when Jesus mentions “First Love”, He isn’t talking about that grade-school crush where you ask the boy or ask that girl to put a “check in the box” if they like you. He means FIRST love, BEST love, the GREATEST love ever; the love above all loves. When He says the Church at Ephesus has forgotten their First Love, He’s saying that the Ephesian Christians have forgotten HIM….the One who loves them and the One who died to save them.
When I read those words in Revelation, I think about a story Garrison Keillor, author of the Lake Wobegon books, tells; aboutwhen his family gathered around the Thanksgiving table and remembered the blessings of the past year. He said Uncle John usually gave the prayer, which caused everyone to squirm because everybody in the family knew that Uncle John couldn't pray without talking about the cross and crying. And sure enough, He said, Uncle John prayed, talked about the cross, and cried. Meanwhile, the rest of us shifted nervously from one foot to the other and longed for the prayer to end. After all, He says, we all knew that Jesus died on the cross for us, but Uncle John had never gotten over it.”
It’s no accident that time and time again, the Scriptures refer to the church as the Bride of Christ—that our relationship with Jesus is likened to marriage. And what the Spirit says in this letter about the church in Ephesus is what we see happen to way too many married couples and is why the divorce rate is so high. Because shortly after the wedding, one or both of the partners begin to lose focus…lose interest. They take less and less time for each other and get busy with other priorities like work or kids, or hobbies or sports; even church activities. Every day, they pay a little less attention to their first love and gradually, things begin to change and the relationship begins to suffer.
Have you ever known a couple who have been married for 20-30 years and you can’t figure out for the life of you, why? They seem to lack the love that causes people to marry in the first place. An example might be the two high school sweethearts who got married and after ten years, the husband began to take his bride for granted. He neglected her, didn’t spend much time with her and so she got a dog to keep her company. And as it would happen, the dog was pregnant and had a litter of puppies. Now the dog and these puppies meant everything to her; they became her lifeline, which as you might expect, irritated the husband. Finally, the husband gave her an ultimatum: You need to advertise and get rid of these puppies. Either they go or I go! The next day, the local paper included this ad in the classifieds: My husband says either he goes or puppies go. Puppies are adorable, fat and pedigree. Husband is rude, fat and mixed breed. Take your pick. Now somewhere along the way, love had gotten away from those high school sweethearts. They found other priorities, other loves; they forgot their first love.
People sometimes forget what it takes to make a great marriage and quite unintentionally, they drift apart. Their marriage ends up just a shell and they find themselves just going through the motions. That’s what happened to the Church in Ephesus.
You’re working hard, staying busy and even enduring a few hardships…but you’ve forgotten your first love. Remember how wonderful our love used to be, and do again the things you did at first.”
Do you remember your first love? The love of your life? Your first date with him or with her when love was new and wonderful? My guess is that there was nothing you would not do for her or for him, no matter how foolish or dangerous or costly. And remember how eager you were to tell your friends about that relationship, about how wonderful he is or how beautiful she is. When’s the last time you did something daring or foolish or costly for Jesus? Did we ever love Jesus that much? Do we love Him that much? If so, is one hour a week enough to keep that love alive? Are we eager to tell others about the one who loves us and who gave His life for us?
In most cases, it’s a pretty serious matter when you forget your wedding anniversary, but it is ALWAYS a disaster when you forget that you’re married! Marriage demands a person’s whole heart. Marriage requires your spouse to be the most important person in your life. And when a man or woman or child gives their heart to Jesus Christ, Christ becomes your marriage partner and that relationship becomes the most important relationship you will ever have. Jesus said it this way; “..the most important thing in life is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind.” More than dad, more than mom, more than husband, more than wife, more than son, more than daughter, more than work, more than sports, more than career, more than your free time, more than yourself. More than anything.
The Church in Ephesus was doing a lot of things…good things. But they had forgotten WHY they were doing them. They forgot who they were. They were the Bride of Christ and they had forgotten that they were married! They forgot their first love. When we forget THAT, when we forget the main thing in life and in faith we end up just going through the motions. There’s little love, little passion, little growth and VERY little satisfaction in that. And the church in Ephesus isn’t alone in that! There are a lot of churches who seem to just be going through the motions, where there’s lots of religion but no relationship. When you enter the sanctuary or sit through the worship service, it all seems sterile, rote, perfunctory, and empty and you just sit there wondering, “Where’s the love?” We’ve all been in churches like that.
When we go on vacation, we always look forward to worshipping in different congregations. We attended worship in a church while we were in Sweden and as soon as we walked in, you could just sense that these folks were in love! They worshipped and expressed a deep and passionate love for God. It was beautiful. And when Erik and I were in Vienna, we stopped in St. Stephen’s church, a Catholic church. The building was magnificent, and soon as we stepped in, there was a palpable sense of mystery and holiness. There was no doubt that we were on holy ground. And it wasn’t just because of the building. It was the church gathered there. In a side room, a small group of Christians were gathered and they were softly singing with a guitar. It was in German, so we couldn’t understand a single word, but there was no doubt they were love songs. You can tell a love song, and you could see it on their faces. You could hear it in their voices. And in another side chapel were dozens of others, praying and lighting candles and just standing or kneeling in adoration. These folks were from all over the world and the one thing they all had in common was that LOOK, you know, the unmistakable look people have when they are in love. The fragrance and atmosphere of Love was as powerful as any wedding ceremony I’ve ever attended.
You know, God only asks one thing of us; to give Him our whole heart so that we can be in a loving and faithful relationship with Him. The believers in Ephesus had said “Yes” to God. They had said, “I Do” when they were asked if they would have Jesus as their Savior and Lord. They said “Yes” to being the Bride of Christ. But somewhere along the way, they had forgotten who it was that loved them enough to die for them, and so their love grew cold and their relationship became ritual and their faith became a matter of habit instead of a matter of the heart.
As I was working on this message, I thought about a couple I once married. Chuck was 81 years old and Florence was 80 when they came to me about pre-marriage counseling. They had met in 1934 and became high school sweethearts, dating all through high school. Everyone could see that they were made for each other and so no one was surprised when they announced their engagement the day after graduation. As Chuck put it; “she was the light of my life”. But Chuck got busy with the adventures of life and a promising career. He got a great job offer in another state and had to choose whether to go or stay. He loved Florence, but it was an offer of a lifetime…so he took the job…..but he did keep in touch. He came home once a month…for the first six months and he wrote letters almost every single day…for a while. Then, the visits became less frequent; the letters less regular, and his career took more and more of his time. Eventually, the letters stopped and Florence’s last letter to Chuck came back marked MOVED. NO FORWARDING ADDRESS.
Over the next 50 years, Chuck had an amazing career. He won lots of awards, got lots of promotions, made lots of money. He was married several times and eventually lost everything through those failed marriages—his money, his health and even his self-respect. At 81 years old, Chuck ended up living alone in a little mobile home park on a side road in Fort Myers. He attended the early service at North Fort Myers United Methodist Church where I pastored.
Florence, well, she never did marry. She retired from teaching school and moved to SW Florida where she lived alone in a little trailer park just off Highway 41. She attended the 11:00 service at North Fort Myers Church. And in what they both describe as a Divine Coincidence, they met at a missions spaghetti supper and as Chuck put it, “They fell in love all over again.” Florence never did stop loving Chuck, so on December 3rd, 1997, with all of six people in attendance, Chuck and Florence walked down the aisle of the church as the pipe organ played Here Comes the Bride. And standing at the altar, Chuck said these vows: Florence, I’m sorry I didn’t do this 60 years ago. My selfishness has caused us both a lot of heartache and I’ve missed out on the one thing that really mattered. You. You have always had a piece of my heart and today, I give you all of my heart. Never again will I forget how much you love me or how much I love you.”
It was a beautiful wedding and they were the most precious couple. Chuck died two years later, and his greatest regret in life was forgetting how much Florence loved him and how much he loved her.
The Church at Ephesus was busy doing a lot of things; good things, I suppose…at least most of it. But they had forgotten their First Love—Jesus and as a result, the church was dying. They had lost their purpose. They had lost their identity and were in danger of dying out completely.
There’s a lot of churches like that today across America and Europe. Every year, they grow colder and smaller until they die out, leaving behind, empty buildings of stained glass and steeples….and a Bridegroom with a broken heart.
So, in His letter to the Christians at Ephesus, Jesus invites the Believers to fall in love with Him all over again….to renew their vows. And that’s His invitation to you and me today.
Video Clip---- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFsiWnVkOGo
