How To Find Joy In Your Relationships Philippians 2:1-2:8
Here is a fact: God has made us to have relationships.
• And those relationships come in two forms
• First we can have a relationship with Him
• And second we can have a relationship with other people.
• Ever Since the fall of Adam and Eve trying to maintaining relationships has been a full time job between man and man - and man and God.
One of the biggest causes of unhappiness in our world today is strained relationships.
• And the reason for that is that Conflict kills happiness.
• It’s hard enough trying to live in this world when everything is going right
• Much less if we are trying to deal with somekind of conflict
• It doesn’t matter if its nation against nation or family member against another family member
• To try and live without any conflict is just about impossible.
So How do you deal with conflict? ----How do you strive for unity?
1. Unity is major factor for success and fulfillment in life.
2. To have a successful business the employees must get along and work together.
3. To have a successful football team the players must work together.
4. To have a successful government the congress and the president must cooperate.
5. To have a successful family the members must work together.
6. And To have a successful church EVERYONE involved has to work together.
The truth of the matter is that Very little if anything in life is accomplish on our own.
• However When there is unity there is tremendous power and potential.
• The problem is people don’t always get along – they don’t always co-operate.
• So once again How do we strive for unity?
• How do we reduce conflict and increase cooperation?
In Philippians chapter 2 Paul talks about how to we can have unity
• And how we can co-operation with others.
Phil 2:1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic?
Phil 2:2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose.
As Christians - we are supposed to have unity in Christ.
• We are supposed to get along with one another.
• There ought to be able to fellowship together
Paul says we are to be like minded.
• This means that we are to show the love to one another – because Christ has loved us.
• We are to display mercy and grace – because that is what God has shown us.
• We are to put on the mind of Christ and if we did that we will be like-minded – in unity and harmony.
But the problem is that unity and harmony does not happen very often.
• But here Paul gives five practical steps so that we can find joy and at the same time reduce conflict.
• And we find the first step in vs 3
Phil 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.
Paul in this one verse gives us the first three steps of reducing conflict.
1. Stop having selfish AMBITIONS
• In life a lot of the time we compete with people who are supposed to be on our team.
• What type of team will ever win if they are so busy competing with themselves that they cant work together
As a children we competed with your brothers and sisters
• And now that we have grown up and we are so much older and smarter
• We still find ourselves you’re competing with our brothers and sisters,
• We keep trying to prove that we’re better.
• It may be our main goal in life
• To show the world that we are finally better than our brothers or sisters
• Or our neighbor. / Coworkers / Friends
The problem is that were supposed to be adults and we are still acting like children
• We need to Stop holding on to our selfish ambitions.
• Theres an interesting passage in 1 Thessalonians 4:11and it says
1Th 4:11 This should be your ambition: to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we commanded you before.
What are the ambitions in your life? How are they driving your life?
• Are your ambitions causing conflict? Look at what James says on the subject:
Jas 4:1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?
Society programs us to think that we need everything NOW
• But when our my needs and ambitions conflict with your needs and ambitions, we have gotta problem
• Because We live in a very competitive world.
• And if we really want to have unity we need to check to see if our ambitions are selfish.
The second step in reducing conflict with other people is:
2. Stop having selfish CONCEIT = excessive pride in oneself.
Let’s look again at verse three:
Phil 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.
Pride can affect us all.
• We shouldn’t do things just to show off for our egos.
• An egotist is an "I" specialist. His “I’s” are too close together. He is full of himself.
• And When this happens there is very little room for anyone else – including God.
• All he can see is himself.
• Self centered pride and arrogance is the result of conceit.
• The Bible tells us that "Pride goes before destruction".
Pr 13:10 Pride leads to arguments; those who take advice are wise.
The first cause of conflict is competing ambitions.
• The second cause of conflict is personal pride
• If we have an ego problem and we cant admit it when we’re wrong
• There’s going to be a problem
• If we could eliminate conceit we could solve most of the problems in today’s world.
Now we get to a positive quality we should strive to attain.
3. We need to increase HUMILITY
• What Paul is saying is don’t put people down – lift them up.
• How do we do this
• We do it by treating them better than we treat ourselves.
• This is a radical concept. Treat others better than yourself?
That’s what the Bible teaches us.
• But at the time is the exact opposite of what the world teaches us.
• The world is full of people who think they are better than everybody else.
• We have managed to take selfishness and turn it into an art form
But Paul tells us to that we are to decrease criticism
• Because when we’re critical we think that we’re better than everyone else.
Humility is a modest or low view of one's own importance
• Our focus isn’t on ourselves – it’s on others.
• We have to be people centered – instead self-centered.
• The person that thinks he’s humble – isn’t.
• The person who doesn’t think he is humble person doesn’t even know it
• Because they are so busy focusing on everybody else that they don’t have time to think about it
Pr 29:23 Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.
We like to criticize / pick out the faults of others
• Because it makes us better about ourselves
• We think we build ourselves up by putting other people down.
• But the Bible teaches the exact opposite.
• If we want to decrease conflict in our life –
• We need to decrease criticism and increase humility.
• We need to Treat others better than we would treat ourselves.
The third cause of conflict is when we fail to value other people,
• When we treat them with less respect than they deserve.
The fourth step to in reducing conflict with other people is:
4. Increase CONSIDERATION of others
Phil 2:4 Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
We can’t just be interested in what’s going on our life
• We have to be interested in the lives of other people too.
• We need to Look out for them.
• We need to Care about the lives of other people and Pay attention to their needs.
• Nothing that I’m saying today is new – but doing it is harder than saying it.
FinallyThe fifth step to in reducing conflict with other people is:
5. To Develop a Christ-Like CHARACTER
This next step is found in the next four verses.
Phil 2:5 Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.
Phil 2:6 Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God.
Phil 2:7 He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form.
Phil 2:8 And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross.
Jesus is our model. Jesus is our example.
• If you want to know how to get along with people
• Even those who are hard to get along with
• Look at how Jesus did it.
• If we are going to put on the mind of Christ / develop the same attitude toward others that He had.
What kind of mind are we talking about mind?
• What was his attitude?
• We find it in these verses.
Even though He is the very form of God – He didn’t demand His rights.
• He humbled Himself and became obedient to the Father’s will
• Even to the point of death..
Jesus had a servants attitude.
• And what we need to ask ourselves is DO WE
• How do you respond when people treat you like a servant?
• Do you get up-tight and demand your rights?”
Jesus was willing to sacrifice Himself for others – But are we?
Jn 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
This verse not only talks about the attitude of Jesus –
• But it also talks about what our attitude should be.
• Have you got a servants attitude? Have you put on the mind of Christ?
It’s impossible to live a lifestyle of unselfishness on your own.
• Because its in our nature to be selfish – to look out for number one.
• We’re selfish – through and through.
• But Christ wants us to live different than that.
• He wants us to develop a Christ like character.
• He wants us to become like Him
So today as we get ready to close
• "Let the attitude that Christ had be inside of you
• Allow Christ take control of your attitudes.
• Allow Christ to take control of your mind.
• Submit to Him. Follow Him. Give yourself to Him today.
