Some of you may have seen this post from Pastor and author Dave Willis which has been making its way around a lot of social media sites lately:
Marriage is not 50-50; divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It isn’t dividing everything in half, but giving everything you’ve got.
I think that those of you who are married, and especially those of you who have been married for a long time, would agree with that statement. I know that after nearly 38 years of marriage, that is certainly true for Mary and me.
This morning, I am confident that we’ll see that our relationship with Jesus is a lot like that, too. If it is going to be all that Jesus intends for it to be, it must be 100-100.
We’re in the second week of an eight week series of messages on the hard sayings of Jesus. And without a doubt the words of Jesus that we’ll examine this morning are among the most haunting things He ever said. So take your Bibles and turn with me to Matthew chapter 7. You can follow along as I begin reading in verse 21:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
(Matthew 7:21-23 ESV)
I wish that I could get up here this morning and say that we really don’t need to spend much time here because these words of Jesus really don’t apply to us. I’d love to think that Jesus wouldn’t tell anyone here this morning, “I never knew you,” and then command us to depart from Him.
But Jesus is not speaking here to those who don’t believe in God. He is not speaking to those who have rejected Him outright or to those who would never set foot in church. Instead, He is addressing those that claim to belong to Him and who zealously call Him “Lord, Lord”, but who have been deceived into thinking they are going to enter His kingdom when they are not. And as much as we would like to think that none of us here this morning fit into that category, it would be naïve of us to think that somehow TFC is the only church around that doesn’t have at least a few people like that in our midst.
So it is absolutely essential that all of us here this morning listen carefully to what Jesus is saying here to make sure that Jesus doesn’t one day say those scary words to us. So how do we make sure that doesn’t happen? We can summarize the main idea from this passage using the metaphor of marriage:
If I want to enter the kingdom of God,
it’s not enough to just “date” Jesus,
I must give myself 100% to Him
I think Dave Willis is right. Marriage is a 100-100 proposition. Dating, on the other hand is more of a 50-50 endeavor. When I was dating Mary, especially at first, I held my cards pretty close to the vest. My goal was to put my best foot forward so that I could impress her. The words that I spoke to her and the things that I did in our relationship at that point were much more focused on what was best for me and what I could get out of the relationship.
But as things progressed and it became apparent that our relationship was going to become more permanent, both of us had to begin to be more transparent and open with each other and let the other person see the weaknesses in our lives as well as the strengths. So the things we said and did became more and more focused on what was best for the other person and our relationship rather than being so self-focused. And it is only when our relationship advanced to that point that we really got to know each other beyond just the surface level.
In some ways, the idea that Jesus will one day say to many “I never knew you” seems almost impossible. After all Jesus created us and knows everything about us. But the verb “to know” that Jesus uses here is a word that means to know by experience. It is the very same word used elsewhere in the New Testament to describe intimate, physical intimacy between a husband and wife.
That’s why I think the marriage metaphor is so appropriate here. Those that Jesus says He does not know are those who are only “dating” Him. They are busy trying to say and do things to impress Jesus, but they never really put 100% into the relationship even though on the surface it might look like they do.
They might go to church every week, be a member of that church, give generously to the work of the church, even serve in ministry. But they haven’t given Jesus complete access to their lives. They are too focused on what they can personally get out of the relationship rather than on what Jesus wants or what is best for the relationship as a whole. So they never really get to know Jesus and Jesus never really gets to know them.
So what I’d like to do this morning is to use this passage to help each of us determine whether we’re just dating Jesus or whether we’ve actually given our lives 100% to Him. It is absolutely crucial for each one of us to make an accurate assessment here because whether or not we’re able to enter the kingdom of heaven hangs in the balance.
I’m going to begin by identifying the traits of those who are merely dating Jesus and I’m going to spend some time here to try and make this as practical as possible because I want to make sure that we all get a clear picture of this kind of person so we can make an accurate assessment of our own lives.
Traits of those who are merely “dating” Jesus:
1. Focus on saying rather than doing
Twice in this passage, Jesus refers to those who say, “Lord, Lord.” The fact that these people repeat the Lord twice is important for a couple of reasons. On a positive note, I think it indicates their enthusiasm and their sincerity. From the outside, these people appear to be very enthusiastic Christians, They talk the way people think Christians ought to talk. They mention Jesus’ name a lot and say things like “Lord willing” and “praise the Lord.”
But the problem is that it also shows that they think they are going to enter into God’s kingdom only on the basis of their words. They have been deceived into thinking because they have said certain words or prayed a certain prayer that Jesus knows them and is going to allow them to enter His kingdom.
Unfortunately the church has often been complicit in giving people a false sense of security based only on their words. We often place a great deal of emphasis on getting people to engage in a “conversion experience” in which they walk down an aisle or raise their hand and then follow someone else who leads them in the “sinner’s prayer.” And then we assure people because they prayed that prayer they are now in the kingdom. I’ve even seen churches that immediately baptize people right after they have prayed that prayer.
I know I have personally been guilty of doing something similar in the past. Many years ago I participated in an evangelism program called Evangelism Explosion. Although I learned a lot about sharing the gospel with others through that training and still use some of the things I learned today, I now look back and wonder how many times I may have inadvertently given some a false sense of security.
One of the components of that program was the “Assurance of Salvation.” After leading a person in praying a “prayer of commitment” we would take people to a particular verse of Scripture and have them read that verse and then tell them that verse was the guarantee that the prayer they had just prayed would get them into the kingdom.
But Jesus makes it clear here that obtaining entrance into His kingdom requires more than just saying the right words. That is why as a church we try to be very careful to help people understand that becoming a follower of Jesus requires more than just praying the right prayer. We want them to understand fully the commitment that is required before we ask them to make that decision because we don’t ever want to be guilty of giving them a false sense of security.
2. Focus on what they can do for Jesus rather than on what He has done for them
These people falsely believe that Jesus knows them because of all the things they have done for Him. They have prophesied and cast out demons and done many mighty works in His name. From all outward appearances they are zealous, dedicated Christians.
It’s interesting to note that these are all showy, flashy things that would have brought attention to themselves rather than to God. None of them claimed to have actually done any of the less showy things Jesus had already told them to do in the Sermon on the Mount - be reconciled to your brother, quit lusting, turn the other cheek, give to the needy, be good stewards, treat others the way you want to be treated.
These people mistakenly thought that their résumé of attention getting things they claimed to have done in Jesus’ name was going to be their ticket to the kingdom. They were trusting in their own works and their own goodness.
But not once do we find these people mentioning even a single thing that Jesus had done for them. So Jesus calls them workers of lawlessness. It is not that the things that they did were inherently bad – in fact prophesying and casting out demons and other mighty works are good things. But the problem is that these activities were done as a means of earning favor with Jesus rather than out of gratitude for what He had done for them. So since they were a substitute for faith rather than being a product of their faith, Jesus claims they are works of lawlessness. We’re reminded here of the words of Paul:
For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
(Romans 14:23 ESV)
We can easily fall into this same trap if we’re not careful. We can substitute religious activity for faith in what Jesus has done for us and be deceived into thinking that activity is going to get us into the kingdom. We can wrongly conclude that reading the Bible, going to church regularly, giving generously, and serving in ministry are going to somehow impress God and convince Him to let us into His kingdom because He needs what we can do for Him.
There are obviously many ways these two traits can be manifest in our lives, but let me share three of them that I see frequently:
Ways these traits are manifest:
• Seeking feelings and experiences
These people tend to be more interested in the byproducts of faith than faith itself. They are focused on what they can get out of their relationship with God rather than what glory God is going to get out of the relationship. So they seek out emotional experiences that will make them feel good.
• Commitment to the organization rather than the Word of God
These people are more committed to the church as an organization than they are to the Word of God. They tend to view being a member of a church as being similar to being a member of country club or a social club or a community organization like the Rotary club.
Very likely they tend to identify with a denomination or a certain church or church leader more than they identify with Jesus: “I’m a Presbyterian.” “My grandfather was a Baptist, my father was a Baptist and I’m a Baptist”. “I belong to ______________Church”. “My pastor is ___________________.”
• View theology as merely an academic exercise
Throughout my time in seminary and now as a pastor, I am constantly exposed to people like this. In many cases what I find is that these people are so “smart” that they completely miss the simplicity of the gospel and their own personal need for a relationship with Jesus.
But that can also occur among those of us who are not pointy headed academics, too. It’s easy to get caught up in just learning new information all the time without actually putting any of it into practice. And the church has often perpetuated that idea by holding “discipleship classes” that consist primarily of learning about our faith rather than putting it into practice.
People like this often get stuck on one point of theology that they overemphasize to the exclusion of everything else. They have a lack of balance in their ideas about theology.
If I want to enter the kingdom of God,
it’s not enough to just “date” Jesus,
I must give myself 100% to Him
We’ve spent a lot of time this morning focused on the negative part of this passage and in identifying why many people won’t enter into the kingdom. Normally I’d rather spend much more time on the positive.
But because Jesus made it clear that there are a lot of people who call themselves Christians but are really only “dating” Jesus, every one of us needs to make an honest evaluation of our lives to make sure we’re not in that group. So I urge you to spend some time this week evaluating your own relationship with Jesus to see if any of these things are typical of your life. Because if they are, it may very well be that you’re in danger of hearing Jesus say “I never knew you.”
We’ll finish up with the positive side now and focus on the…
Trait of those who give themselves 100% to Jesus:
Notice that “trait” is singular. In this passage Jesus identifies the one trait that give evidence to the fact that we are 100% committed to Jesus.
1. Do the will of God
According to Jesus only those who do the will of His Father in heaven will enter the kingdom of heaven. So the obvious question we must answer then is “What is the will of the Father?” Obviously that would include everything that Jesus has been teaching in the Sermon on the Mount up to this point. These are all things that Jesus has determined should characterize our lives because they bring glory to Him. But with His own words, Jesus helps us to understand the essence of what it means to do the will of the Father:
For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”
(John 6:40 ESV)
The will of the Father is that everyone who looks on Jesus and believes in Him should have eternal life. The verb “believe” that Jesus uses there is more than just an intellectual assent to a set of facts. It is a belief that trusts, depends or relies upon something or someone. So in this case it refers to those who trust in Jesus and rely upon Him. So doing the will of the Father means having that kind of trust in Jesus.
Obviously this goes way beyond just the idea of saying that Jesus is your Lord. It is trusting completely that Jesus is the only way for us to enter the kingdom and then acting in a manner that is consistent with that belief.
But it seems that man has always had a difficult time with the idea that we can only come to God because of what He has already done for us, not because of what we can do for Him. So, it’s not surprising that earlier in John 6, the people had asked Jesus what they must do in order to be doing the works of God:
Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.”
(John 6:28-29 ESV)
The only work that God requires for us to come to Him is to believe in His Son. And, as the Bible makes clear elsewhere, even that ability to believe comes from God. It is not something any of us are capable of doing on our own.
So if I’m doing the will of God, what will my life look like? Again, there are many ways that should show in my life, but let me share just three of the most significant…
Ways this trait is manifest:
• Humility
I can’t possibly do the will of God the way Jesus defined it until I first am willing to humble myself and admit that there is nothing that I can say or nothing I can do to merit a relationship with God. And that is not an easy thing to do in a culture that values the “self-made man” or someone who has “pulled himself up by his own bootstraps.”
I think it is particularly hard for us as men to have that kind of humility because we’ve been led to believe that it is a sign of weakness. Perhaps that is one reason that the average U.S church is roughly 60% female and only 40% male.
But until we are willing to come to that place of humility in which we acknowledge to God that we are completely dependent on Him and what He has done for us, it just isn’t possible for us to enter His kingdom.
• Intimacy
As I mentioned earlier, the verb “to know” that Jesus used in this passage is a verb that describes intimacy. And just like intimacy in marriage is a 100-100 proposition, the same thing is true in our relationship with Jesus. In that relationship, Jesus has already done everything He could possibly do to be 100% committed to having an intimate relationship with us. So the only question is are we going to have that same level of commitment in the relationship?
True intimacy in marriage requires at least two things that are also required if we want to have an intimate relationship with Jesus:
o Time
If I really want to get to know Jesus and let Him get to know me, then I must spend time with Him. I must consistently talk to Him throughout the day in prayer. I must regularly listen to Him speak to me through His Word. I’m never going to have an intimate relationship with Jesus if the extent of my time with Him is an hour on Sunday morning.
o Transparency
I can never develop an intimate relationship with Jesus if I am not willing to open up my whole life to Him. That means that I cannot say to Jesus, “Lord I want you to come into my life and know me intimately, but there are some areas of my life that I’m going to control myself and not give you access to them.”
Nor can we say as a church, “Lord, come into our church, but please don’t change anything. We like it just the way it is.”
In his first epistle, John provides us with some guidance about the importance of transparency in our relationship with Jesus:
If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
(1 John 1:6 ESV)
It is not possible to live in fellowship with Jesus if we insist on living in darkness. We can’t claim to have an intimate relationship with Jesus if we’re not willing to allow Him to shine His light into our lives and then adjust or lives to be consistent with that light. Intimacy with Jesus is never a matter of Him adjusting to be compatible with us. It is always a matter of us adjusting our lives to be compatible with Him.
That means that when we live in intimate fellowship with Jesus, the result is always…
• Obedience
The kind of obedience that I’m speaking of here is obviously not obedience for the sake of earning favor with God. I think we’ve clearly established this morning that is not possible. But what I am talking about is obedience that is the fruit of an intimate relationship with Jesus.
We see this clearly in Jesus’ own words. Here is what He had to say about those He knows:
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.
(John 10:27 ESV)
Jesus says that the ones He knows are his sheep, and the evidence that they are His sheep and that He knows them is that they hear His voice and they follow Him.
Unlike those who are merely dating Jesus and are in the relationship only for what they can get out of it, those who are known by Jesus follow Him because there is nothing more important in their lives than being taught and nurtured by Jesus so that they can be a vessel that brings honor and glory to His name.
If I want to enter the kingdom of God,
it’s not enough to just “date” Jesus,
I must give myself 100% to Him
All of us here this morning need to evaluate our relationship with Jesus and determine whether we’re 100% submitted to Jesus or whether we’re merely dating Him. Because the answer to that question will determine whether we enter the kingdom of heaven and spend eternity in a love relationship with Jesus or whether we hear those haunting words, “I never knew you. Depart from me…”
