Civil Wars Pt. 3 - D Day
I. Introduction After the war, 650,000-850,000 fathers and sons did not return. Thousands of those that did return home were wounded and maimed. As a result, many women found themselves widowed and alone, running farms, plantations, and businesses. Countless women spent the rest of their lives nursing the permanent physical and psychological wounds of their husbands and sons.
The fighting was real and the pain was real. As Warner Thomson, a Unionist living in the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia, wrote of his estrangement from his Confederate sons, "My natural affection for my sons & love for my country cause a struggle in my mind—it is a painful one."
The civil war was not civil. Households were divided. Families were torn apart. Sides chosen.
The Civil War like the war that took place between Cain and Able in the garden reveals that those closest to us can inflict the most pain. These battles also reveal that we simply don't navigate relationships well. We have been designed and created for relationship but because of our failure to fight fair we escape into isolation which plays into the hands of our soul's enemy and we find ourselves in prison and alone.
It is absolutely impossible to walk through life and not experience a war. Demand for our own way, selfishness, childishness, hardheadedness, pride, stubbornness are some of the reasons this is true. So since we will experience the pain of war it is important for us to be armed. One of the greatest, most important, essential weapons that we must possess is also a weapons that I would submit is one of the least utilized, understood, and developed in this generation. This weapon is so crucial because it actually assists us in knowing what is war and what isn't. I see too many who don't have this weapon reacting and attacking unnecessarily. It allows us to recognize and differentiate between foe and friend. If you have ever felt the impact of friendly fire you will know that is one of the most painful things to experience in life. This weapon when used correctly helps us have fewer wars. The weapon is discernment. Discernment must be developed and honed. Let me see if I can help you today.
TEXT: John 13:21-30
After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. “One of you is going to betray me.” The disciples looked around at one another, wondering who on earth he was talking about. One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder. Peter motioned to him to ask who Jesus might be talking about. So, being the closest, he said, “Master, who?” Jesus said, “The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I’ve dipped it.” Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. “What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.” No one around the supper table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas was their treasurer, Jesus was telling him to buy what they needed for the Feast, or that he should give something to the poor.Judas, with the piece of bread, left. It was night.
Luke 22:54-62
Arresting Jesus, they marched him off and took him into the house of the Chief Priest. Peter followed, but at a safe distance. In the middle of the courtyard some people had started a fire and were sitting around it, trying to keep warm. One of the serving maids sitting at the fire noticed him, then took a second look and said, “This man was with him! He denied it, “Woman, I don’t even know him.” A short time later, someone else noticed him and said, “You’re one of them.” But Peter denied it: “Man, I am not.” About an hour later, someone else spoke up, really adamant: “He’s got to have been with him! He’s got ‘Galilean’ written all over him.” Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed. Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter. Peter remembered what the Master had said to him: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” He went out and cried and cried and cried.
Luke 23:39-43
One of the criminals hanging alongside cursed him: “Some Messiah you are! Save yourself! Save us!” But the other one made him shut up: “Have you no fear of God? You’re getting the same as him. We deserve this, but not him—he did nothing to deserve this.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you enter your kingdom.” He said, “Don’t worry, I will. Today you will join me in paradise.”
How you perceive someone determines how you receive someone. Our day is really no different than those we read about in the Bible. From Old Testament to the New Testament we can find the lack of discernment development on display. And what we learn is that
Lack of discernment = delay and destruction.
Let me give you some glaring examples. Samuel gets word from God that He is done with Saul. Samuel is told to visit Jesse's house and anoint the next king. You remember the story. Jesse parades all of his sons by Samuel who wants to anoint every one of them because he isn't armed with discernment. You remember what God said? "man looks on the outside I look at the heart (we will come back to the heart)." Lack of discernment almost caused Samuel to appoint wrong person asking. David's own father didn't even discern correctly. His dad perceived that he was the runt, the unwanted, forgotten, menial, unworthy. Samuel borrowed Jesse's perception and it almost cost him. How many of us borrow someone else's perception to our own demise. "You can't trust them. You can't work with them. You shouldn't spend time with them." The issues is that we are so lazy about learning to discern and so unarmed with discernment that we just borrow people's perception! The real problem is that by borrowing someone else's perception (remember we talked picking up a shared offense last week) we may miss our king. Joseph's brothers perceived him as a problem and he was actually their provision. Potiphar's wife sees Joseph as a conquest when he was the savior of nation. Jesus experienced this. He came to his own and his own received him not. Lack of discernment. His cousin John started with the right perception and then due to offense allowed that perception to become tainted until Jesus responded to him.
Discernment is so important that proper discernment leads to a blessing. Jesus asked His disciples, "who do men say that I am." They respond. Then when Jesus asks, "Who do you say that I am?" Peter operates in discernment and perceived Jesus correctly. "Some don't perceive you correctly so they hold you off as a good teacher or a prophet. But I receive You differently because I perceive you are the son of the living God." Jesus sees discernment in operation and blesses Peter because of it. "Blessed are you Peter!" It is when we learn to discern that we are blessed.
These accounts teach us that lack of discernment can equal destruction in our lives. They also teach us that:
Lack of discernment = lack of proper assignment
Another reason that discernment is so important is that if you don't discern correctly, then you can not assign correctly. Samuel wasn't assigning a king's anointing to David. Joseph's family didn't discern so they assigned him to annoying. Potiphar's wife didn't discern Joseph and because she perceived him improperly she did more than just risk his life and fail to satisfy her own sexual needs. She put the entire nation and her own kids at risk.
Some of you, due to lack of discernment, are in a constant state of war because you keep assigning lifetime expectations or hopes on seasonal people. Some of you are sharing stuff with seasonal people that should only be shared with lifetime folks. Vice versa you are treating lifetime folks as seasonal and throwing away essential relationships.
Since lack of discernment leads to defeat and proper discernment can lead to victory I want us to consider the three passages I read to you so that you can learn to correctly assign and therefore avoid wars. These three accounts are like walking into a discernment boot
camp. Jesus teaches us the keys to discerning.
1. You must learn a person's heart.
I read to you two accounts of betrayal. We focus on Judas as a betrayer but the truth is that Peter was as much of a betrayer as Judas. However, there is one major difference. Judas had a bad heart. Peter had a bad day! Jesus teaches us that you get rid of Judas, but you restore Peter. Some of you, due to lack of discernment, are getting rid of the wrong people. You are kicking folks to the curb because they had a bad day. However, if they have a good heart you should extend grace and peace to them rather than warring with them. Some of you are keeping folks around that have good days but their heart is corrupt. You need to discern and dismiss them before they walk you into destruction. You like their kisses but you ignore the knife in their hand. You like their compliments. You like their attention. You like their flattery. But if you don't know their heart you may end up stabbed in the back! Some of you are treating some Judases like Peter. Others of you are treating Peter like Judas. Learn their heart or you will dismiss the wrong people. To know their heart you must dig deep. Jesus shows us that to learn someone's heart . . .
2. You must listen to a person's mouth.
Out of the heart the mouth speaks! When a person opens their mouth they give us insight into who they are. We tend to ignore what we hear! If it continues to come out it isn't a bad day issue it is a bad heart issue.
Go back to the battlefield in the garden. Eve brings destruction because she didn't discern. Eve should have known she was talking to a snake because poison was coming out of it's mouth. Yet we continue to treat snakes like sisters and boas like brothers. When we ignore the poison coming out of someone's mouth we choose not to perceive correctly and in the process we allow them to envenomate us.
What's coming out of their mouth? Only 2 options ... life or death. If it is gossip, rumor, anger, spite, critical etc., then they are a snake. Adam was standing there and did nothing to point out that the snake was in fact a snake. All he had to do was listen! Listen long and carefully and you can hear the difference between sweet nothings and hissing!
Watch as Jesus uses this key to discern. The thieves are in the same geographical location but what came out of their mouths allowed Jesus to recognize that they were in fact miles apart in their heart. By the words that came out of the repentant thief Jesus was able to discern his heart!
I submit that the weapon of discernment is absolutely crucial when you consider "church". I want you to know that discernment is crucial around here. We have got to get this right here. Some of you don't perceive the people here correctly. You perceive them as acquaintances so you receive/assign them to a surface level. You won't let them in. You won't confide and you won't trust. You won't lean on or in. So then you leave this place and outside this family you confide, confess to people who not only don't have the ability to handle what you are sharing but have no desire to handle it. You give them your heart and they stomp on it or they poison it. We under value the relationships in this place and so when we under value we underestimate. When we underestimate we often undermine. We turn to broken people for relationship help rather than leaning on healed folks. We want money advise from folks living under a curse rather than trusting those living under open heavens.
We should all want and desire better relationships but our culture teaches us that better means different. What if the best relationship for you is right here but you keep jumping from place to place thinking better can be found in different? If you do that rather than making needed effort and sacrificing what needs to be sacrificed like your comfort zone, pride, guard, etc to pull the better out of relationship, then in your failure to discern you will miss what you have!
Prayer for more discernment
