Depression - God is Not Silent When People Suffer
Depression is Terrifying. It has been called "Dead, but walking". Most people see their world as:
+Dark +Heavy +Painful +Numb +Directionless +Desperate
Who it affects: As many as 20 - 25 % of the population. At a minimum in the USA that is over 64 million people.
In our area of Houston County, TN - that is over 1,600 to 2,000 people
In any given year over 500 people in the vicinity of our church will be suffering from severe depression. Which means over 1,000 - 2,000 people will be affect as family members.
People in the Bible that had to deal with Depression:
+Abraham - Genesis 15 Jonah - Jonah 4
+Job - The entire book of Job Elijah - 1 Kings 19
+King Saul - 1 Samuel 16 Jeremiah - The entire book of Jeremiah
+David writing in the Psalms ( Psalms 6, 13, 18, 25, 31, 32, 42-43; 51, 62-63, 90-91; 103-104; 123-124; 141-143; 146-147)
+Moses - Numbers 11 +Naomi - Book of Ruth
+Hannah - 1 Samuel 1 +Paul - 2 Corinthians 1
Causes of Depression:
-Inherited predisposition to depression -Health issues - female issues
-Hormonal or chemical imbalance -Money problems
-Feelings of failure or rejection -Problems at work/social life
-Grief or loss -Poor self body image
-Family problems - separation, divorce or abuse
-Thinking one has no control over any part of thier life; feelings of futility
-Negative thinking -Isolation or loneliness
-Substance abuse - alcohol/drugs -Side effects of prescribed medications
-Guilt/Sin -Stress
-Retirement
"Depression is not something you can just SNAP OUT OF; like any serious medical condition it needs treatment, love and concern." While more women attempt suicide than men when they are depressed, more men are successful due to the methods they use to commit suicide. Women tend to turn to medication in their attempts, while men turn to guns and even vehicles to commit suicide.
Depression and the "Blues"
Usually the "blues" last for just a few moments, hours or a couple of days. When people are sad, they keep their self-respect, they feel better after a time of sorrow and they are able to confide in others for help and assistance.
With depression, self-respect fades.
Crying/sorrow does not bring relief
Instead of wanting to be with others - usually depressed people alienate themselves because they do not feel that other people are able to understand their feelings.
DEPRESSION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN1
Women tend to: Men tend to:
Blame themselves Blame others
Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated
Feel anxious and scared Feel suspicious and guarded
Avoid conflicts at all costs Create conflicts
Feel slowed down and nervous Feel restless and agitated
Have trouble setting boundaries Need to feel in control at all costs
Find it easy to talk about self-doubt and despair Find it “weak” to admit self-doubt or despair
Use food, friends, and "love" to self-medicate Use alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self-medicate
Other factors that can assist us in knowing if a person could be suffering from depression:
Sadness Loss of energy Marked weight loss (when not dieting)
Insomnia Excessive sleep Slowed motor skills
Agitation Fatigue Feelings of worthlessness
Inappropriate guilt Brain fog - decreased ability to concentrate
Recurrent thoughts about death Digestive problems
Back pain/headaches
Women are more likely according to most studies to suffer depression than men. However, with only about 40% of people suffering from depression actually getting help, that may not be the case. Men probably suffer from depression almost as much as women, but they are more likely to self-medicate. resist help or mask their symptoms. Depression is seen as an extreme weakness in men and therefore many men will not allow themselves to believe that they could be suffering from depression.
Verbal signals:
Verbal signals that can help us know if someone is perhaps suffering from depression:
• 'I’m a failure.' - is heard more and more in their speaking
• 'It’s my fault.' - taking on blame for everything and anything
• 'Nothing good ever happens to me.' - beginning to look at life negatively
• 'I’m worthless.' - losing self-esteem
• 'Life’s not worth living.' - no longer wanting to get out with people
• 'People would be better off without me.' - small hints at inviting death
ACTION HELPS STEPS TO HELP SOMEONE/YOURSELF
1. Come to the LORD with the suffering. God does care. Read the Bible. In reading the Bible one is able to understand that love and suffering can in fact, co-exist. One of the stark realities is that once mankind fell, sin was given free rein over our earth and until glorification we have to live with the results of the Fall. Read scripture (see other handout).
-Openly confess any sin that may have caused depression
-Ask for prayer support - anointing with spiritual oil
-Taking such passages as James 5:13-16 seriously
2. Take care of yourself/others physically/emotionally/socially
+Exercise is vital - 30 minutes a day at least four days a week (walking, biking, swimming, gardening, house/yard work etc...)
+Connecting with friends
+A balanced proper diet is essential
+Get a medical check-up - check for thyroid insufficiency
+Check for hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)
+For women check for hormonal disturbances - during all menopause phases - pre, med and post.
3. Take one step at a time
a. If your depression is over a loss - do your best to acknowledge that loss and allow yourself a time of grief and sorrow. Give yourself permission to feel, but then bring yourself back to the light.
b. Encourage honest thinking about what might be deep down behind the depression. You may want to share with someone who is adept at drawing out buried hurts.
c. Begin to keep a journal for the next few weeks describing how you feel. This will help you to see if it is just the "blues" or if in fact, you need to seek professional advice and assistance.
d. Join an encouragement/support group
e. Ask to be anointing and prayed for by your church
f. Begin to rework your thoughts - prepare a list of 10 things that you like about yourself
g. Spend as much time as possible in the sun and in nature - some people suffer from SAD - Season Affective Disorder.
4. See if natural remedies will help
+St. John's Wort has helped people with depression, anxiety, apathy and sleep disorders
+Ginkgo biloba - improves blood flow and function to the brain
+5-HTP - a plant extract that helps produce serotonin.
+Increase your intake of vegetables, grains and seeds
+Eat foods that are as close to the way God created them as possible
WHAT ABOUT DOCTORS/MEDICATION?
+Medicine and doctors have been given to us as gifts from the LORD. Dr. Luke was one of the Apostle Paul's constant companions. The only thing to be concerned about is to be informed about your health regimen. Ask questions. Ask some more questions. Find out the side effects of each medicine you have been prescribed. The choice to take medication is a wisdom issue, it is rarely a matter of right and wrong. We have to ask the question - What is best and wise. And don't forget - ask questions.
+General Practitioners (GPs) GPs are the best starting point for someone seeking professional help. A good GP can: • make a diagnosis • check for any physical health problem or medication that may be contributing to the depression • discuss available treatments • work with the person to draw up a Mental Health Treatment Plan or help a person seek psychological treatment • provide brief counseling or, in some cases, talking therapy • prescribe medication • refer a person to a mental health specialist such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. You can usually see a psychologist without a GP referral.
+A referral from a GP is needed to see a psychiatrist. The doctor may suggest the person sees a psychiatrist if: • the depression is severe • the depression lasts for a long time, or comes back • the depression is associated with a high risk of self-harm • the depression has failed to respond to treatment • the doctor feels that he or she doesn’t have the appropriate skills required to treat the person effectively
+Social workers in mental health Social workers in mental health can support people with depression and anxiety by helping them find ways of effectively managing the situations that trigger these conditions. These may include family issues, financial problems, work stress and living arrangements. Mental health social workers can also provide focused psychological self-help strategies, which include relaxation training and skills training (e.g. problem solving and stress management).
+Counselors - Counselors can work in a variety of settings, including churches, youth services, private practices, community health centers, schools and universities. A counselor can talk through different problems a person may be experiencing and look for possible solutions. This may include providing referral options to trained mental health professionals in the local community.
+Support groups - https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/state/TN/Clarksville.html?_ga=1.51121899.358912652.1439648409 - lists a number of good counselors in our area.
+Ms. Katie A Gustafson Counselor , MA (615) 412-0176 - Graduated from Trevecca Nazarene
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Family members and friends play an important role in a person’s recovery. They can offer support, understanding and help, and can assist the person to get appropriate professional help.
Understanding depression in a friend or family member:
Depression is a serious condition. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of depression. Depression drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation. Your depressed loved one can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will.
• The symptoms of depression aren’t personal. Depression makes it difficult for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people he or she loves most. In addition, depressed people often say hurtful things and lash out in anger. Remember that this is the depression talking, not your loved one, so try not to take it personally.
• Hiding the problem won’t make it go away. Don’t be an enabler. It doesn’t help anyone involved if you are making excuses, covering up the problem, or lying for a friend or family member who is depressed. In fact, this may keep the depressed person from seeking treatment.
• You can’t “fix” someone else’s depression. Don’t try to rescue your loved one from depression. It’s not up to you to fix the problem, nor can you. You’re not to blame for your loved one’s depression or responsible for his or her happiness (or lack thereof). Ultimately, recovery is in the hands of the depressed person. You can't fix it, but you can be a support and a prayer intercessor for them.
What you can say that helps:
• You are not alone in this. I’m here for you. I will not leave you (Ruth to Naomi)
• You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change. (Angels to Elijah)
• I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
• When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage. (Paul to His Churches)
• You are important to me. Your life is important to me. (Jesus to all of us)
• Tell me what I can do now to help you. (Picking up the towel and serving)
Avoid saying:
• It’s all in your head. We all go through times like this.
• Look on the bright side. Why do you want to die?
• I can’t do anything about your situation. Just snap out of it.
• What’s wrong with you? Shouldn’t you be better by now?
Adapted from: The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Supporting your loved one's depression treatment
One of the most important things you can do to help a friend or relative with depression is to give your unconditional love and support throughout the treatment process. This involves being compassionate and patient, which is not always easy when dealing with the negativity, hostility, and moodiness that go hand in hand with depression.
• Provide whatever assistance the person needs (and is willing to accept). Help your loved one make and keep appointments, research treatment options, and stay on schedule with any treatment prescribed.
• Learn about depression. The more understanding you have of the symptoms and issues surrounding depression, the more you can cope, help, and keep your expectations realistic. Review books, brochures, Family Profiles (see www.familyaware.org), and videos on a variety of depression topics.
• Partner in treatment. Medications take up to 4 to 6 weeks to take effect, the dosage may need to be adjusted, and medications often need to be changed. You can help your depressed family member or friend by scheduling and tracking medications, making medical appointments, and reporting changes to the medical professional.
• Have realistic expectations. It can be frustrating to watch a depressed friend or family member struggle, especially if progress is slow or stalled. Having patience is important. Even with optimal treatment, recovery from depression doesn’t happen overnight.
• Lead by example. Encourage your friend or family member to lead a healthier, mood-boosting lifestyle by doing it yourself: maintain a positive outlook, eat better, avoid alcohol and drugs, exercise, and lean on others for support.
• Share your feelings as a family. Since depression affects the whole family, it is important for everyone to share their feelings, both the depressed person and caregivers. By talking about issues and emotions, you can uncover what works and what is not helpful to one another.
• Encourage activity. Invite your loved one to join you in uplifting activities, like going to a funny movie or having dinner at a favorite restaurant. Exercise is especially helpful, so try to get your depressed loved one moving. Going on walks together is one of the easiest options. Be gently and lovingly persistent—don’t get discouraged or stop asking.
• Pitch in when possible. Seemingly small tasks can be hard for a depressed person to manage. Offer to help out with household responsibilities or chores, but only do what you can without getting burned out yourself!
• Pray, pray and pray some more!
1 http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-in-women.htm
Also used Dr. Tim Clinton's Book - Caring for People God's Way and a few other resources like:
http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/0556
http://www.upliftprogram.com/article_deprelate.html
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-a-depressed-person.htm
