Before Google Part 5, by Pastor Rob Ketterling
Well, Proverbs is loaded with wisdom, but how many know Nick in the city of San Francisco, not so much. We are enjoying this. We are having fun with this series. There have been several surprises. I've just enjoyed what Proverbs is speaking to us as we look at the series Before Google.
But I did have a surprise this last week. If you remember, I used a tree illustration about Proverbs 22. We talked about parenting. If you missed it, I would just encourage you to go back online and look at that. But we talked about Proverbs 22; Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. And I used the illustration of the crooked tree in my front yard that was growing into the driveway, and said there is no hope but for it to be dug up. And I came home this week. We were at work and I came home, and I want to show you a picture of what was happening in my front yard. So go ahead and show the picture up there about what was happening in my front yard. Here is picture of the tree in the front yard. I think we have it. The tree was perfectly straight, it was trimmed, it was staked, it was all perfect. And I came home and I said, "Becca, did you do that?"
She said, "No, I thought you did that."
I said, "I have no clue." We looked around. We started talking to people. And somebody heard the sermon and straightened up my tree. So I have been responsible for increasing sales at Dairy Queen. I've been responsible for my tree getting straightened. And it is just a neat surprise. Whoever did that, thank you so much for straightening my tree and making my front yard look good.
And I want to say this, as I saw that tree straightened up, I realized this; there is always hope. How many know there is always hope? Your child may be going crooked, but you raised them in the ways of the Lord. And here is what I just feel with that illustration is there is always somebody that is better with it than you are. There is somebody who has a skill set or time or passion or a burden or has proximity to your child. They may be a long way away from home, they may have wandered far away, but there is somebody that can help get your child back on the straight and narrow. If you have a wayward child, just, again, grab hold of that right now and say, God, please, wherever they are, let someone come along and care enough to pull them back to straight, pull them back to loving you again. And it's never too late. So grab hold of that.
And, again, thank you to whoever did that for us. We appreciate it so much that you took care of that. And have I ever told you about my desire to spend a month in an Italian villa? Just thought I'd share. All right. Too soon. Okay.
Anyways, today, words, the power of words. Let's look at wisdom. And I want to let you know I read the entire book of Proverbs this week. I went through it verse by verse looking to see which ones talked about our words, the power of our words and good words, bad words, all the different things. And there is so much to say, so much to say, so much to say. In Proverbs 30 and all the 31 chapters there is so much there. So I'm going to try to stick with Proverbs as much as possible as we talk about this today.
But I'm going to give you a summary. If you didn't have time to read it all, I want to give you a summary. There is three things I can just tell you to remember about your words that come from Proverbs. Number one, say less. Say less. Number two, speak life. And number three, slander and gossip are a no no.
All right, so if I could just give you the summary, 31 chapters, say it with me. Say less. All right? Say less. I'll say it, you repeat. That's easier. Say less.
"Say less."
Speak life.
"Speak life."
Slander and gossip are a no no.
"Slander and gossip are a no no."
All right, that's the way it is. If you want to know what is there, we are going to look at those three things as we look at it today. Starting with say less. Now I'm going to ask you, what do you need to repent of more often, the things you say or the things you don't say? Things like sins of commission, things that you do with your mouth, or sins of omission times, times that you should have spoken up? And if you are like most people, you have to repent a lot more of the things you said rather than the things you don't say. As you look through Proverbs, you'll see over and over again it is like say less, say less say less, say less. That is great advice.
I'm going to let you know I'm going to be reading a lot of verses from The Message translation. I use all sorts of translations. Obviously, if we are building our theology we use an actual translation of the Bible. But I love the paraphrase with The Message and love the way it speaks to us about our tongues in Proverbs.
Proverbs 10:19 says this: The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.
Proverbs 17:27 28. The one who knows much says little; an understanding person remains calm. 28 Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise; as long as they keep their mouths shut, they're smart.
How many know, it is over and over again, don't talk. Hold your tongue. It says even you'll seem wise if you just keep your mouth shut. Say less. And here's the thing, people don't think you're dumb when you're thinking. People think you're dumb when you're talking. All right? So hold it inside and realize you can say less.
I just want to give you just a little help here for saying less. How many know, you can just say less and actually be seen as pretty smart. This is just like a crash course on being seen smart. If somebody is talking or a group of people are talking, you can just not say anything. You can just do like this, this is a really good thing to do, put your hand on your mouth like this (indicating) and tap a finger sometimes, you know. Give a little nod. Kind of do like this, "Hmm." How many know that works? "Hmm." How many know you can tilt your head, you can purse your lips. But don't look too involved or they'll ask you to clarify. And if they do, you can just say, "Go on, go on, I'm with you." And you can use hand gestures like that. How many know they don't have a clue whether you're smart or not if you do that, all right? So I just saved you a lot of grief.
But we say too much. We say way too much. There have been studies that have been taken of men and women, and they say men will say 7,000 words in a day, women will say 20,000 words. They think it is because they have a different protein in their brain. But whatever it is, men or women, we say way, way, way too much.
The Bible says in Proverbs 21:23, Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save yourself a lot of grief. How many know, that's great advice. That's great advice. Just watch your words, hold your tongue, you'll save yourself a lot of grief. So let me give you some practical advice on saying less, all right?
First thing is this: One of the verses says to weigh our words. Weigh your words. While you're thinking about what you're going to say, decide if it really has value. Think it over. Think is this the right time to say this? Is this the right audience to say this? Is this the right place to say this? And really important, as you're weighing your words, am I in the right emotional state to say this? How many know that question alone could save you a lot of grief. Holding those words, holding your tongue. That just weighing it out and saying, is this really the right time, the right place, the right audience, am I in the right place emotionally to be able to speak this?
Another way to say less is to walk and talk to God more. How many know as you spend time talking to God, you realize your words are not that important? You're kind of like I'm not that smart, I don't have that much to say. And I will tell you this, if you spend time with God and you spend time in prayer spending time talking to God, you'll have better things to say. So say less by spending more time with God.
Growing your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Now, we are blessed as followers of Jesus Christ to have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. And the Holy Spirit is an umpire and a coach. He leads us, he comforts us, he guides us, and he will sometimes say, like, "Say this." He'll have other times where he'll say, "Don't say this." And you've got to grow in your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit if you're going to learn to say less. And when he does restrain you, how many know you can thank him for restraining you? Like, "Thank you, Holy Spirit, for restraining me."
Now, I've got an illustration, and, again, I can just share a part of this. I just felt like God was, "You can only share part of it." But I was going to compliment somebody once. I was going to compliment them about something they owned, okay? And it was something that was very nice, and I was going to compliment them. And as soon as I was about to say it, I felt the Holy Spirit say, "Don't say anything."
And I was like, wow. I mean, like, I was going to say they had a nice thing. But, you know, it was stuff right there. It was just a material possession. And I thought, "Wow, am I coveting whatever they have?" And I was just like, all right, and I felt really bad and I went and prayed that night, like, "Maybe I'm coveting. I feel sorry, God. I don't even know. Boy, I really felt the rebuke. Thank you for rebuking me, but I don't get it."
A couple of weeks later, the guy that I was talking to filled me in on the rest of the story. And he said, "God had been dealing with me on that issue," on that piece of possession. And he said, "Had you said something, I would have gone a totally different way, and I'm so thankful you held your mouth shut, because I would have felt like you were hinting or pressing or pressuring me," and yet the Holy Spirit was doing a good enough job on his own.
Think about that. Sometimes the hold Spirit will say stop. You don't always hear why he says stop. But in that situation, God was like, "Don't say anything. I have this under control. I'm doing something way beyond what you can see here. Shhh! Don't say anything." And we can thank God when he says, "Shhh, hold your words." So we are building our sensitivity, and we're thanking God.
If you look through the Bible, again, James chapter 3 has a lot to say about the tongue. How many know, if you're going to control your tongue, if you're going to say less, how many know, you need extra strength from God do that. You're just going to need extra strength. So a way to say less is to ask God to help you say less, okay? Ask God to help you say less. Like, "God, help me to say the important things, the good things. Help me to say less. Help me to hold my tongue. Give me the strength to hold back saying things that I shouldn't say."
Which kind of goes with Psalms, and I couldn't pass this one up. Psalm 41:3, Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a watch at the door of my lips. Don't let me so much as dream of evil or thoughtlessly fall into bad company. I love that. The writer of Psalms is saying, you know, "God, set a guard at my mouth. Don't let my lips say the wrong thing. I want to say less. Put a guard there." It's as if there is a guard you have to get around.
I can remember once I was staying at this hotel, and Lady Gaga was staying at the same hotel. I know. I saw her in the hotel lobby, and I thought, I wondered, you know, should I talk to her or something? And as I was walking in the general direction of Lady Gaga, I saw her 6' 7", 350 pound, bald bodyguard standing there as a guard, and he was, like, don't even think of walking near. And I was like, that's right, I'm just going to my room right now. I didn't want to say anything. Becca and I were, like, turned the other way.
And I thought, wow, that's the idea. Put a guard there. The guard turns people away. All these people that want to talk to her, the guard is like, don't even think about it. Think about it, what if there is a guard facing you, 6' 7", 350, bald if you're really bad, 400 pounds, 6' 9" and there was a guard on your mouth, and that guard was watching. "Wait, wait! Don't say that! Don't even think of saying that!"
I mean, so the psalmist was saying, "Put a guard there. Help me to not even go down that road."
And if all that doesn't help you say less, this is the clincher; the words of Jesus. He said, But I tell you everyone, in Matthew 12:36, will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. You have to give account for every empty word.
Now, I want to tell you this, as I'm studying this week for this message to say less and I have to give account for every word, you do know my only hobby is golf, and I'm out there golfing, and I'm so angry and I'm saying, "Your stupid, bungling golfing," and I'm like, "Oh, Lord, I'm sorry for those empty words. I don't want to give up golf. I'll zip it. I'll zip it right now."
Okay, so you're going to give account for every empty word. Way more serious than anything you would say on a golf course. But you're going to give account for every empty word. Let's say less. Let's put a guard. Let's thank God the Holy Spirit is convicting us and restraining us. So say less. That's the first one.
Second thing is this: Speak life. Speak life. How many have heard the song on our kids CD, our GO Kids CD, Speak Life? I absolutely love that song. Our church wrote that. If you have not heard it, you can download it on iTunes. I love that it's Speak Life. What does it mean to speak life? When I summarize the book of Proverbs and I see this, speaking life means to be positive, that the glass is half full, that there is hope, there is hope in God, God will make a way, believe the best. I'm telling you, there is something about our words being filled with hope, filled with blessing, filled with godliness, filled with hope. There is something about that.
Some people are, "Oh, I'm not going to get all into the words." I tell you what, our words have power. Our words have life and death Proverbs says.
Proverbs 12:18 says, Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.
Proverbs 15:4 says, Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. Proverbs 18:4, Many words rush along like rivers in flood, but deep wisdom flows up from artesian springs. It is like deep wisdom, good words is like refreshing like an artesian spring. That's what he's saying your words can do.
Proverbs 13:2 3, From the fruit of their lips people enjoy good things, but the unfaithful have an appetite for violence. 3 Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. I love what Proverbs 13 says there, verse 2. It says people enjoy the blessings of the good words of their lips. When you speak life, when you speak good things, blessing comes on you. I don't know exactly how it is, but I think that there's you speak blessing, blessing comes back upon you. Other people want to give back blessing. You speak truth, it comes back as a boomerang of blessing on you. He's saying you get to enjoy the blessing of the things you speak.
I don't know if you ever heard that the airlines did a study, and they had a sign up that said, "For the comfort of the other passengers, please wipe down the bathroom after your use," and nobody not many people did it. Then they said, "For your own comfort for the rest of the flight, please wipe down the bathroom."
People are, "Oh, my own comfort. I'll take care of it."
How many know when it comes to others' blessings, a lot of people don't worry about their words. But if you're going to get blessed, the Bible is saying, you're going to get blessed if you speak life. For your comfort, for your blessing, for your life, speak life and watch what comes back on you.
I think one of the best ways to speak life and to get into a practical way of speaking life in your life is to be praising God. The more you praise God, I think you're just going to start speaking life. When you start praising God and you spend time lifting up his name and praising his name, speaking life, speaking positive, things will start to come your way.
Recently I was watching a video, and they said, "Have you ever been angry at God?"
And the person said, "Well, yeah."
And they said, "Have you ever cursed God?"
And he was like, "No! No! No!"
And now think about that. We never speak bad to God and scream at God. Most people don't. But we speak life and praise. And I think as we start speaking praise, we get put into that direction.
I think another way we can speak life is to encourage one another. All throughout Proverbs it talks about encouraging and praising, lifting up and bringing life and healing and all that and bringing encouragement to one another.
The Duke of Wellington who defeated Napoleon, he was not an easy person to serve under. He was demanding of his soldiers. He did not give out a lot of praise and not a lot of words of encouragement. When he was asked as he was dying, "What do you wish you could have done over?" he said, "I wish I could have praised people more. I wish I could have encouraged them more. I wish I could have spoken life," if you will, "over them more." Great advice to learn from, from somebody who didn't do it.
William Author Ward said this I love this quote "Flatter me and I will never believe you. Criticize me and I may not like you. Ignore me and I will never forgive you. But encourage me and I will never forget you." We encourage, we speak life, we give it out.
How many know that people are so hungry for encouragement they encourage themselves. They start talking about, "Oh, yeah, I did that. That was me. I did it. Thank you. Thank you to me." You know, how many know they are doing that? I mean, they are just so hungry.
If it can speak life over somebody, why not say, "Hey, great job, good job." "Hey, way to go." "Who did that? Excellent job!" "Way to straighten my tree." "Thanks for the villa." Keep praising, saying those things, all right?
Proverbs 27:2 talks about how hungry people are for praise, and says, Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips. I want to say this, praise and encouragement is a good looking jacket, but it is best if somebody else puts it on you. It is best if somebody else puts it on you instead of like, "Look at this! Look at what I've done." And so let's be people that will speak life and give out praise.
We not lying. We'll talk about flattery in just a minute. But how many know that people's love language, if you did your homework in this series, one of the love languages is words of encouragement. Let's give it out more, because it could be one of the five love languages. That means you've got a 20 percent chance that you are just hitting them right where they live, so go for it. All right?
Another thing, speaking life, we can tell the truth. I love what Proverbs 12:19 says, Truth lasts; lies are here today, gone tomorrow. As I looked at this, how many know that a lie has an echo while it is on earth, but I think that a lie has no echo in eternity. A lie has no echo in eternity. A lie can roll around on earth, but there is coming a day where God says, "You know what, the only thing that is going to remain is truth; all the lies are done." And it's speaking the truth and saying God will speak the truth in love and help people. So these are the things. We are going to say less and we are going to speak life.
And the third thing we are going to do is we are going to realize slander and gossip are a no no. Slander and gossip are a no no. Now, I've got to tell you this, I couldn't summarize all the things, but I had to find an S, you know, so I started with slander. You know, because I was say less, speak life, slander and gossip is a no no. But there is a whole if you read Proverbs and you look for the tongue and you look for the words, there are a lot of things that are no nos. And I would just say this, in addition to the things that are in Proverbs, I'll throw a few things out.
Swearing, Ephesians 4:12, really. Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. Really, it is right there. It is telling us don't swear. Don't let those things come out. So there is no place. There is a bunch of things that are no no.
Lies are a no no. Proverbs 14 25, Souls are saved by truthful witness and betrayed by the spread of lies.
Proverbs 25:18, Anyone who tells lies against the neighbors in court or on the street is a loose cannon.
It is saying lies are a no no. If you read through Proverbs, over and over again speak the truth, speak the truth, speak truth, don't lie, don't bear false witness, don't lie.
It is interesting, the devil is called the father of lies. Do you know why he is called the father of lies? Because he was the first one to lie. Think about this. Before the devil told the first lie to Eve, the only thing that had been spoken was truth. Truth was spoken. And all of a sudden the devil comes along and says the first lie, so he's the father of lies. That's like George Washington, the father of our nation, the first president. The devil is the father of lies. And ever since then, lies have been multiplying like rabbits or sea plankton or bathroom germs, whatever multiplies the fastest. Lies, lie, lie.
Cain and Abel. Cain, lies. "What? What do you mean? What are you talking about, my brother? What are you talking about?"
You've got Abraham. The ruler says, "Is that your wife or not?
"No, no, that's my sister." Lying. You've got lie after lie.
Sarah laughing, and God is like, "Did you laugh?"
"I didn't laugh."
"You lie."
You've got lying over and over. You've got Jacob lying to his dad. You've got all this stuff going on.
Peter denying that he knows Jesus. "Surely you're a disciple."
"No, I'm not!" Lie, lie, lie.
The first church discipline, Acts chapter 5, "Why are you lying to the Holy Spirit? Why are you lying to the Holy Spirit? Don't lie."
I mean, there is all this stuff. I'll give you a parenting tip. I know that was last week, but my parents punished us double punishment if we were lying. They are like, "We can't build a family if we are not building it on truth." We've got to tell the truth. We are opposed to lies. God hates lies.
The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy 32:4, God is the Rock, His work is perfect; For all His ways are justice. A God of truth and without injustice; Righteous and upright is He.
Say less. Some of us need to repent about saying too much. Some of us need to speak life and we maybe have been way too negative. But when it comes to slander and gossip are a no no, and I'm listing off the no nos, how many people know, our altar could be packed just repenting on the sin of lying. We should be people of our word. We should speak the truth, even if it costs us something. We should speak the truth. We should be able to say yes and no, and it should be said about Christians that we're the best people. Our word is our bond, and when we say something, we mean it and it's true. But, sadly, it is not like that. We should speak the truth and avoid the lies.
Another thing that's a no no is bragging. We talked about that, but Proverbs 27:2, Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips. Don't brag. Don't sit there and brag and brag and brag. Stop it!
Another thing that is off limits is discouragement. Discouragement. Proverbs 25:18, now listen, I want to read a scripture and give you the power of words. And I know it is not about discouragement it's about lying but I want to show you the power of words. Because how many have heard, like, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That's wrong. Words are very powerful. And Proverbs 25:18 says this, A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow.
Now, I want to tell you this, when you discourage and you beat people down and you belittle them and you use your tongue to tear them down over and over again, Proverbs is saying don't do that, you bring harm to those people. Don't do that. Instead speak life. Don't cut people down, don't belittle, don't tear them to shreds. Again, I know that passage is talking about lying, but think about the power of words; it is like a club, it's like a sword, it's like a sharp arrow.
There are many times that I counsel husbands and wives, and in the past I've counseled them and our pastors will, and many times ladies will come in and say, "No, he doesn't hit me, but he tears me to pieces with his words. He just tears me to shreds. He just rips me to pieces with his words." And when you look at that, if you came into the counseling session and you said, "Well, he chases me with a club, he slices into me with a sword, he shoots me with his arrow, we would be like, "Okay, call the police."
But the writer of Proverbs is saying the tongue is that powerful. And I'm telling you this, this applies to men and women, but so many more times it is the men that just rip to shreds their wife. There is no place for that. You ought to repent of that. You ought to repent. A man of God builds his wife up. A man of God does not tear her down like that. A man of God does not verbally abuse his wife. We don't do that. And really, I call you to repent. I call you to listen to the Holy Spirit convicting you and saying, "Your words have been wrong. They have been brutal. They have been angry. They have been just tearing her down, and it's time to repent." Watch her spirit come to life as you repent and you man up and you say, "I don't need to live that way. I don't need to use my tongue to tear you down."
Another thing that's a no no; flattery. Proverbs 29:5.
Let me just stop for a second. I mean that to the guys. I mean that. I mean that. If you have been tearing your wife down, this is your day. Not tomorrow, not the next day, not next week. This is your day. Don't say, "Well, I'll think about it." Today. What an opportunity that you came to church today and God called you out. Please, please, please make your way to the altar. We love you. We want to help you. And please don't let those arrows, clubs and swords destroy your wife.
All right, flattery. Flattery, Proverbs 29:5. A flattering neighbor is up to no good; he's probably planning to take advantage of you.
All right, so what is flattery? Let's be clear, all right? Because you can give people compliments and encouragement, and then there is flattery, so what's different? Flattery can be defined as "the act of giving excessive compliments, generally for the purpose of ingratiating oneself with the subject." The difference between flattery and a compliment is the benefactor. Flattery has a selfish motivation. The flatterer hopes to gain approval or advantage over the one being flattered. Compliments, however, are sincere acknowledgments or admiration spoken to praise someone else.
So if you truly are trying to make someone feel good and you're trying to encourage them and you're trying to lift them up, that's encouragement. But if you're trying to say like, "Hey, really great job with that," and you want them to help you and you're trying to get them to say, "Well, really? Thank you. Well, what else can I do?" and you're trying to get them to lean into and you're getting ready to take advantage of them, flattery is that. Flattery is trying to take advantage of somebody by using people's starvation for good words. They are starving, and so you try to take advantage of that. It is off limits according to Proverbs.
And another one that is saying slander and gossip are a no no, Proverbs 18:8, Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want that junk in your belly? Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want that junk in your belly? It's bad. Slander and gossip are so bad.
It's interesting, here is what I've learned. You can outlive physical attacks on your body, but how many know some people can never outlive slander and gossip? I had a heart attack. I am outliving this because they put some stents in my heart and I'm doing great. But how many know that if somebody assassinates your character with slander or gossip, all of a sudden they are like, "Didn't they...? Aren't they...?"
How many know that cancer can go in remission, but how many know slander and gossip, it is always waiting. It is always right there. That's why it is so important that the follower of Jesus Christ realizes that slander and gossip are a no no. Gossip brings suspicion, distrust, coldness. It can separate the best friends. And I beg of you, I beg of you in our church, in your family, in your workplace, if you notice somebody that doesn't slander, that doesn't gossip, how many know that a gossip tells you something about somebody else, and while they are talking to you, they are getting their fuel for their next victim. You're providing the fuel for the next victim. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Slander and gossip is so divisive, it is so divisive that God named it in Leviticus. He's telling his people how to live. Think about it. They are leaving slavery and he is trying to tell them how to live, and it is so important. Some people are, "Well, it is just gossip. I mean, it wasn't that bad. Might be true. Kind of true. Wish it was true." Leviticus 19:16 God talking to his people, "'Do not go about spreading slander among your people."' Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the Lord.
He's saying don't do it. Don't slander them. Don't gossip. It endangers their life. Don't do it. Hold your tongue. Say less, speak life, and slander and gossip are a no no. I pray you remember that. If you forget the message years from now, please, I pray that you remember that; say less, speak life and slander and gossip are a no no.
So, Lord, I just pray right now, I pray that you help us to realize that your Word is true. There is so much there. The whole book of Proverbs has so much to say about our words. We choose to say less, to speak life, and realize slander and gossip and all the other things that are wrong that we can do with our tongue are a no no.
We commit to live differently, and we pray that our tongue would show that we are followers of Jesus Christ. Our tongue would betray us in a good way. People would say you must be a Christian because you don't swear like the rest, you don't gossip like the rest, you don't tear down, and you build up. I pray that would be what is said about our words, about our tongues. We say less, speak life, and realize slander and gossip are a no no.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen.
