Civil Wars
Pt. 1 - Skirmishes
I. Introduction
4 years, 6 weeks and 3 days. By declaration it began in April of 1861 and the last shot was fired on June of 1865. It did not live up to its name. There was nothing civil about it. In fact, it remains the the most costly war in our history in regards to casualties. Estimates put the death toll of the Civil War somewhere between 650-850,000 men. These were not enemy lives lost. These were not soldiers from a foreign invader. These were not troops from some external conquering force. No these losses were inflicted by bother on brother, father on son, son on father, and neighbor on neighbor violence. No, it was not even close to civil. There were not flowers coming out of the end of the muskets when the trigger was pulled and rubber bayonets being thrust into someone else's chest. Real bullets and real blades resulted in real blood and real death. The civil war was not civil.
Households were divided. Families were torn apart. Sides chosen. And as we have discovered some of the wounds received during this war are still raw and unhealed.
The civil war taught us that those closest to you have the ability to inflict the most damage. Those who are connected by blood have the ability to strike the hardest and cut the deepest.
It is this reality that causes many of us to come to the conclusion that it would be easier if we could live life isolated. Isolation would surely insulate us and inoculate us against the pain. We convince or perhaps a more accurate word would be deceive ourselves into living as if we don't need relationship. However, one of the earliest truths that we discover in the Bible is found in Genesis 2 when on the 6th day of creation, after stating that everything He has crafted and designed up to this point is "good", God creates man and for the first time He sees His handy work and declares "It isn't good!" Not His creation but the state of His creation. He states that it isn't good for man to be clothed? Feathered? Rich? Wealthy? Famous? Happy? No . . . He says it isn't good for man to be ALONE! Isolation is not God's design or plan for man. In fact, we quickly figure out that man cannot fulfill his God-given assignment by himself. It is fundamental that we must have relationship and yet from the beginning relationships are the thing that rupture and produce the deepest brokenness us. We also see from the very beginning that man struggles to handle and navigate relationship. The first family has a war and it wasn't civil either. Cain would rather kill his brother than learn from his brother. Perfection and utopia is interrupted by a family fight. From family one we realize we don't know how to fight right.
I recently pinpointed 5 principalities or principles that we are required to confront in order for us to produce freedom in this family (Poverty, hopelessness, apathy, isolation, compartmentalism). We will confront each eventually but I am convinced that one of the most significant and important to defeat is the principle of isolation. Because since we were designed for relationship if we can learn to navigate relationships correctly there will be strength, camaraderie, and the support and spurring necessary to defeat the other principalities. You are going to have a hard time defeating poverty unless a person helps you recognize that mentality. You are going to have a hard time coming out of hopelessness if you don't have someone encouraging you. Apathy will fall off if you have someone to spur you towards good works. You won't learn to live totally surrendered in every area of your life if you don't have someone in your life who can point out areas where you have refused to allow God to work.
I remind you again that Psalms 68:6 we are told that God's stated plan is to place the isolated in families. However, I run into more offended Christians who have quit church after church simply because they have been hurt by church folks! Everyone I run into seems to be mad at someone church family, immediate family, coworkers, etc. There are so many who sit in services weekly who are in bondage while they are faithful because they are in a war that wasn't civil. Simply put there are just way too many of us walking wounded and offended. We like to talk about all the signs that reveal that we are nearing the return of Christ. However, did you know that in Matthew 24 Jesus gives us a list of signs and He says that one of the signs is that many will be offended, will betray one another and hate one another?
What good does it do if God places us in a family and brings us out of isolation if we don't know how to navigate family relationships and end up fighting our way back into isolation?
We continually prove we can't or don't know how to handle relationships especially conflict. When we experience a war we either hit back instantly (or you connive or plan over a period of time to hit back) or walk away. We try to destroy or we vacate kingdom assigned relationships. The bottom line is that we respond how we were trained to respond in middle school and the kingdom we are aliens in rather than responding the way we have been instructed to respond as a part of a heavenly kingdom. We are more American (demanding and expecting our rights) than we are Christian!
But what if we could learn to have civil wars? What if battles, although real and perhaps even common, no longer lead to bloodshed and breakdowns? What if we learned how to fight fair?
The Bible has a lot to say about fighting and how to respond to a fight.
You will have a fight, but you don't have to let the fight have you.
Oh, you don't know me. I never met anyone I didn't like. I have never been mad or offended at anyone. If that is the case then either you haven't lived long enough or Jesus is a liar because in Luke 17:1 He said, "It is impossible that offenses not to come. . . " In other words, you will have a fight. Mark Jesus' words it will happen. But then listen to how Jesus teaches His own cousin to view this offense or fight.
In John 7, John the Baptist sends his disciples to ask Jesus if He is the one John has been been saying He is. John is in prison, is about to give his life because he has been declaring that Jesus is the Son of God, and now he is troubled with doubt. But read Jesus' response carefully in John 7:23 . . . "Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me!"
Jesus is sending a message to John the Baptist. Cousin John. The John that is in prison about to die and hasn't received a visit from his cousin savior! Jesus sees through the message and understands that John is about to take offense and He says "Blessed are you if you are not offended!" The word there used for offended means "bait". Jesus is telling John don't take the bait man. The enemy is trying to tempt you to become offended and then you really will be in prison! Too many of us take the bait! We swallow it and find out that we are the ones in bondage. The enemy uses skirmishes and offenses to bait and switch. We get hurt, we vacate or we fight and instead of destroying our "enemy" we are destroyed!
1 Corinthians 13, the chapter that breaks down the God type of love that we should have as His disciples, says we should not be easily provoked! Can't walk around looking, planning, expecting and even fantasizing about a fight. I remind you that Jesus says it is OK to get angry but don't get angry to sin. Cain was angry at God and he takes it out on his brother. Some of you are taking out your anger at God on those around you! You have allowed the fight to get into you! Touch your neighbor and say, "As a disciple you are supposed to be a lover not a fighter!"
Jesus declares - you will have a fight but you don't have to let let the fight have you. You will be blessed if you won't take the bait!
So why is it so important for us to not take the bait?
Baited = Blocked
What do you mean? If you take the bait you will find yourself blocked in 4 areas.
1. Prayers
Matthew 5:23-24
“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
Clearly teaches us that if we are caught up in offense that we also instantly have our prayers blocked. Is it any wonder that the enemy works so hard to bait us into offense? When we take the bait we think that an earthly relationship has been broken. However, according to Jesus offense builds a barrier between us and God. Offense with man causes us to have a breakdown between us and God. Our ability to navigate and properly handle offense with man that we can see determines our relationship with God whom we can't see. I can either be offended or I can be answered but I can't be both. I don't know about you but I want my prayers answered! If so, that means I have to keep from being baited into war with you.
2. Power
Matthew 18:18-20
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
One of the truths that we like to quote (and honestly to cherry pick) so often is that where two or three agree whatever we bind/loose on earth will be bound/loosed in heaven. We like that promise of power. So we go around trying to bind and loose and we see nothing happen because we fail to realize that this promise is sandwiched between Matthew 18:15-17, which tells us how to go to our brother who is offended, and Matthew 18:21-35, where we are told how many times we are supposed to forgive. Then as icing Jesus throws in the parable of the servant whose debt was forgiven by a king and then he turns and fails to forgive the man who was in debt to him to reveal what happens when we don't forgive. We cherry pick that passage about power and then when we take the bait we experience a power shortage because we can't get in agreement. Our power is blocked.
3. Presentation
Proverbs 19:11 - A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11 The wise insightful, are patient; they will be - honored praised - glorified if they ignore insults and offenses.)
In one version it says that when we pass over offense we most accurately represent and reflect God and His glory. I don't have time . . . go listen to Ron Jr on glory . . . but glory is important. Jesus came to restore what we lost. What did we lose? Glory - we have all sinned and fallen short of glory! When we mature enough to intentionally overlook and refuse to take the bait of offense it is a doorway back to glory and it allows others to glimpse glory because this response goes against our cultural training. By our willingness to be unoffended we show people a different kingdom. Too many of us, while claiming Jesus, actually pervert people's view of kingdom cause we act just like they do. We are instructed to turn the other cheek, carry a burden 2 miles when asked for 1, give entire wardrobe when asked for a shirt and instead we are offended and act like them - revenge, bite, strike, throw fits, cuss out, short, etc. His glory is revealed through us when we pass over! We are called to rePresent Him and when we take the bait our presentation is blocked.
It is to ones glory ... Your promotion, your blessing, isn't based on your shout it is based on your thick skin! Touch your neighbor and say, "Just let it go!"
4. Post
We allow offense to cause us to miss our assignment.
Ecclesiastes 10:4 - If a ruler’s anger rises against you, do not leave your post; calmness can lay great offenses to rest.
How we navigate offense literally reveals who we are serving. Are we serving man (a ruler) or are we serving God (THE ruler)? How could Samuel continue to serve the crooked, dysfunctional Eli when Samuel was appointed and anointed to be next priest? Samuel knew he wasn't serving Eli! He was serving God. Tell someone "just breathe". Remain calm! I know that person is acting like the south end of a north bound mule but you aren't serving them! Stay at your post. In the Old Testament when Moses lead out of Egypt each man marched/camped in his place. Your blessing is connected to your place. Some of you are forfeiting your blessing simply because you left your place/post. Don't let offense cause you to come off the wall. If you take the bait you will quit your post and miss your blessing!
Offense is inevitable. You are going to find yourself in a skirmish. You are daily coming into contact with imperfect people. War is going to come. However, you have got to learn to have civil wars. Refuse to take the bait. The revenge will taste sweet for a moment but the fruit of bait is blocked!
