Mentoring
Proverbs 27:17 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
History often turns on the smallest of events. Two hundred miles northwest of Jerusalem is a small Mediterranean island called Cyprus. On this island lived a man named Joses who was an unassuming Jew. We don’t know how he came to faith in Jesus. Perhaps he was among the visitors to Jerusalem during the Passover and the 3000 who heard Peter’s first sermon and came to faith. Whatever the circumstances, the message of the Messiah took root in his life and forever changed him and history. The depth of Joses newfound faith and commitment to Jesus and the mission of the church is shown in the sale of some or all of his property and giving the proceeds to the benevolence fund of the Jerusalem church. Following custom, the church leaders gave Joses a new name, Son of Encouragement or Barnabas. That name would speak profoundly about the impact this minor character in Scripture would have on the future of the church and the mission of Jesus Christ. It was Barnabas who came to the aid of Saul after his Damascus road experience and mentored him in the faith. Were it not for Barnabas, who knows what would have happened to Saul or the early church? Certainly, the leaders of the Jerusalem church wanted nothing to do with him. In their minds, he was Public enemy #1. But Barnabas took Saul and brought him to the Apostles, defending his conversion and gaining him access to the believers. But his influence didn’t end there. He travelled with Paul on his missionary journeys and eventually promoted Paul to take the lead. No longer was it Barnabas and Paul but now “Paul and the others.” Paul became the greatest evangelist, theologian and church planter in the history of the church. But we must never forget the influence or impact of the man behind Paul, Barnabas. For without him, there would be no Paul.
If I were to ask, “Who are the people who have made you what you are today?” all of us would have a list. We would be mention our parents. But our lives are littered with other people who have influenced us along our journey. That’s the way it has always been since the beginning of time. People have been influencing others in whom they become and transferring skills and knowledge from one generation to another. What we’re talking about is mentoring. The work force has used the mentoring model to train people on the job and or one on one under the guidance of experienced craftsmen in such skilled occupations as a machinist, bricklayer, dental laboratory technician, electrician, mechanics, and many more. When we look at Scripture, we also see that this is the way the faith is meant to be passed on and nurtured from generation to generation. God designed us to be influenced and shaped by other people. His strategy for us to learn what it means to follow him is that we would learn from each other. Throughout Scripture, we see successful mentoring relationships: Naomi and Ruth, Elijah and Elisha, Moses and Joshua, Deborah and Barak. In the New Testament, there’s Jesus and the disciples, Peter who mentored Barnabas (Gal. 2:11-13) who in turn mentored Mark and Paul. And Paul, mentored Timothy and then many other Spirit-filled, world-changing disciples and church planters. This is God’s way to pass on the faith to others.
And yet, there seems to be a dearth of mentoring in the faith today. Youth Pastor Chris Freeman tells of being on vacation in Michigan with his wife, and one day a couple of elderly women came to the door of their cabin. He answered and they began with some small talk and then they asked him what he did for a living. He told them he was a youth pastor, and then they revealed they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. As they talked for a little bit, and he was just trying to end the conversation, until one of them asked me a pretty big question: “In your opinion, what is the biggest problem with young people today?” He thought about it for a minute and said, “The biggest problem with young people today is that there aren’t enough people from the generations ahead of them pouring into them and investing in their lives.” He could tell his answer threw her off a little bit. She even admitted that wasn’t the answer she thought I’d give her. She said she expected him to say something about drugs or alcohol or sexual promiscuity. Chris said, “I don’t believe those things are the problem. Those are simply the symptoms of a much deeper problem.” We need people mentoring people and not just older people mentoring youth.
So what is mentoring? “Mentoring is a relational experience in which one person opens and shares their life with others, enabling another to maximize the grace of God in his/her life and service.” The apostle Paul put it this way, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” God’s plan for teaching others what it means to follow Jesus isn’t just a book. It’s you. You are the curriculum of what it means to follow Jesus.
So what are the benefits of being mentored? A mentoring relationship provides a role model to follow. Seeing a godly life lived out is an invaluable benefit. (Paul 1 Cor. 11:1) It promotes spiritual growth because mentors help others deepen their personal relationship with God, help them to grow in the image of Christ, and prepare them to become most usable for the kingdom. It provides accountability as we give people permission to inquire about our lives and applying our faith. It gives us an encourager and cheerleader, and who doesn’t need more encouragement in their life, especially in their pursuit of following Jesus. Being mentored provides someone to believe in you and your passions, dreams, and goals. A mentor can help us achieve goals by offering valuable advice and objective input as personal and spiritual goals are thought through and established. Finally, a mentor can provide trusted counsel in major life decisions given the depth of knowledge and relationship developed with the mentee.
Mentoring doesn’t focus on what we have to impart as much as it does on the growth needs, desires and goals of the mentee. Mentoring starts with asking what does a mentee want to learn, or how do they want to grow? Mentors serve as guides. There is a myth that mentors must be fountains of wisdom or possess thorough Bible knowledge or even be experts in the area a mentor wants to grow. The process is much simpler because mentoring focuses not on what the mentor knows—it’s on what the mentee wants to learn. The mentor serves as a resource and guide for the mentee’s learning process. Guides are people who’ve traveled a path before, learned some things along the way, and are willing to share them. Guides offer helpful information, warn of dangers, share their own experiences on the road, and provide first aid if necessary. If you find your mentee needs to grow in an area unfamiliar to you, don’t drop out. Join in the learning process together and become active partners in the learning process. Mentors initiate discussions, bring their questions, and contribute their knowledge and experience to the mentoring relationships.
So let’s look a little closer at one mentoring relationship in Scripture between Moses and Joshua. Moses decided to delegate command of a battle with the Amalekites over a water dispute to one of his soldiers, Joshua. (Exodus 17:9) In making this decision, Moses trusted in Joshua’s gifts and leadership potential and opened an opportunity and relationship that changed Joshua’s life forever. Joshua won the battle and then became a frequent companion of Moses. Their mentoring relationship deepened, and Joshua gained valuable knowledge, skills, and confidence. Moses began to allow Joshua to accompany him to important meetings . . . with none other than God! (Ex. 24:13-14) We’re not sure that Joshua was actually with Moses in the presence of the Lord, (Ex. 32:17) but they must have talked on their return to the camp. Imagine the incredible lessons Joshua received that day! Moses took Joshua to another meeting with God in the Tent of Meeting and this time allowed Joshua to remained on his own in the presence of God. Moses demonstrated significant trust by not interfering in this major opportunity for Joshua. He continued to offer Joshua opportunities to develop. He assigned him (along with 11 other men) to spy out the Promised Land. Finally, Moses affirmed his mentee by commissioning Joshua in the presence of the people of Israel (Deuteronomy 31:7-8). He gave Joshua public recognition for the lessons he learned. What’s more, Moses conferred power on Joshua by vacating his position to him. Their formal mentoring relationship ended. When Moses died, Joshua was appointed as the new leader of Israel and later took his people into the Promised Land (Numbers 27:15-23). From their mentoring relationship, we learn several keys in mentoring another.
First, assign the mentee preliminary stretch tasks;
Second, when successful and ready, make additional assignments requiring more skills and responsibilities;
Third, invite him (or her) to key events;
Fourth, allow the mentee to observe the mentor in action;
Fifth, affirm the mentee for achievements;
Sixth, step aside to let the mentee succeed.
The most important thing we can do is empower people to fulfill their god given purpose and use their gifts and graces for the purposes of the kingdom. The most compelling question every Christian can ask is this: What am I doing today that will be an influence for Jesus Christ in the next generation?” One day, every single one of us is going to wake up, and we’re going to realize that there are fewer pages to the right than there are to the left. At the end of life, we’ll ask, “What did I leave behind?” Not, what will I take with me, but what did I leave behind? The answer to that question hinges on mentoring and investing in others.
How do we start investing in others? First, you have to make yourself available. You’ve got to open up your life to allow people to come on in. Second, you’ve got to be intentional. Most people aren’t going to come up to you and ask you to invest in them. It’s going to require you to take that first step in their direction. You have to put in the effort. Third, be aware. There’s always going to be someone in your life that you can pour into. That means you’ve just got to have your eyes open to be aware of them. There’s no magic formula to mentor. God’s strategy for developing people into committed followers of Jesus isn’t a study or class. It’s you. His plan is to use you to pour into others and when you do, lives are changed.
Howard Hendricks tells the story of coming from a broken home as his parents separated before he was born. Neither one paid much attention to his spiritual condition. But Walt cared. Walt came from a tiny church in Howard’s neighborhood that developed a passion to affect the community for Christ. Walt’s passion was to reach 9 and 10 year old boys with the Gospel. One Saturday morning, Howard was playing marbles on the sidewalk when he noticed someone standing beside him. He looked up and saw a tall, gangly man standing beside him. Walt said, “Hey son, how would you like to go to Sunday School?” In Howard’s mind, anything that had to do with school couldn’t be good. So he said no. Walt squatted down and said, “Then how would like to play marbles?” “Sure!” he said. As the best marble player on the block, Howard thought he could whip Walt. But much to his surprise, Walt beat him at every in every single game and captured every marble he had. In the process, he also captured Howard’s heart. He may have lost the marble game but that day he gained a man in his life who cared. From then on, wherever Walt was, Howard was. Walt poured into Howard’s life over the next few years. He used to take Howard and the other boys hiking even though he had a bad heart and Howard was sure letting the boys run wild didn’t help. But he didn't seem to mind because he cared. Walt was a model of faithfulness. He always showed up for Sunday School and got the boys involved in the learning process- an approach that influenced Howard in his own style of teaching. Walt became the very presence of Christ for Howard and the other 13 boys in the neighborhood, most of which came from broken homes. Because of Walt, 11 of the boys went on to careers as in the church, which was ironic because Walt had only completed the sixth grade. And then Howard writes, “It just goes to show that a man doesn't need a Ph.D for God to use him to shape another man.” Amen
