“Woman, Behold Your Son”
John 19: 25-27
Jesus uttered seven sayings on the cross, three of them before darkness, one of them during darkness and one after darkness had completely fallen. Today’s saying occurs before the darkness has fallen. The first utterance, “Father, forgive them…” was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry: he came to forgive people. The second, “Today, you shall be with me in paradise” was the goal of Jesus’ ministry to unite people with their Creator and Savior eternally. Today’s Scripture parts from what Jesus has been doing and saying on the cross as he turns personal. We see four things in our Scripture today.
First is a mother’s pain. Jesus lifts his head, looks out and sees his Mother Mary and the disciple he loves. One can only imagine the sense of grief Mary must have been feeling as she stood before Jesus and watched him hang on the cross. We all know how mothers feel about their children especially her oldest son. She must have had a special feeling for him because of the promise of the angel of the Lord. Like any mother, she hopes and dreams for that child, but hers were fueled by the angel’s promise and his identity as Messiah. Certainly the cross didn’t figure in those hopes and dreams. I have no doubt that as she saw him dying on the cross, she thought back to his birth and the words of the angel. The Scriptures tell us that Mary meditated on what the angel said. I believe that wasn’t a one time thing but something she did throughout her life. Her son, her firstborn is son of the Most High, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. That’s certainly something to ponder! She must have had great dreams and hopes that he would not only do great things but become a great King.
All of Mary’s hopes and dreams must have been destroyed as she saw Jesus slowing dying and suffocating on the cross. There must have been great disappointment. Remember when Simeon blessed Jesus in the temple and all of the talk which ensued? In fact, Joseph and Mary were amazed at all the things which were being said about him. Along with Jesus, all of her hopes and dreams for him and for the Messiah who would save her and her people were dying on that cross. Where is his greatness, where is his kingdom? He’s not even dying a hero’s death. It would have been something if Jesus has led the Israelites to rise up against the Roman Empire and he died on the battlefield. That would have been an honorable death. But instead, he is dying a common criminal’s death of shame, humiliation and suffering.
What a sense of helplessness she must have felt. Every mother cares for their child when they fall and get hurt. They kiss the pain away, wipe away the blood and hold the child until the tears dissipate. As she sees Jesus hanging on the cross with blood dripping down his forehead and back, her heart goes out to him but she can do absolutely nothing. How many times has she instinctively run to Jesus side and been there for him when he needed her as a child. And now she stands there helpless to stop the taunting or alleviate his pain. Her heart must have broken in that moment. In Fox’s Book of Martyrs, there is the story of a 26 year old mother named Perpetua. The early church was growing dramatically and she came to faith in Jesus. The Roman government was trying to get her to renounce her faith but she refused. They threw her in prison. He father came and begged her to pay homage to the Romans so she could be freed and care for him as he was elderly. They drug her father away and killed him. They brought her son to her and she held him in her arms but they took him away and killed him as well. She died, of a broken heart. Every mother can understand that. It’s almost unbearable. As Mary looked up on Jesus hanging on the cross, her heart must have broken too.
Second is a son’s responsibility. As the oldest son, it was Jesus’ responsibility to provide for his family when his father died. Couple this with the fact that women couldn’t work or inherit her husband’s resources and it fell to the oldest son to provide for his mother. With this responsibility on his heart, Jesus looks out and sees his mother from the cross and diverges from his mission of forgiveness and salvation by providing for her on going care. Jesus is demonstrating for us the priority of family and our responsibility to them and for them.
This is a foundational responsibility in the Jewish faith. Look at the 10 Commandments. The first four have to do with our relationship with God and the last six have to do with our relationship with others. The fifth, before all of the others, says, “Honor thy father and thy mother.” Jesus is slowly suffocating and dying on the cross for the sins of the world and he stops long enough to draw on his waning energy to make sure his mother is going to be taken care of. But this responsibility for our parents and for widows is not limited to the Jewish faith. 1 Tim 5:3-4 says, “Honor widows….If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn their religious duty to their own family and make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” In other words, take care of your mother and father. Provide for them financially, give them a haven of security, love them and do your best to honor them. Timothy goes on to say that if we do not care for our family, then we have denied the faith. In the last hours of his life, Jesus shows that caring for our aging parents is an act of faith.
Third is the remaining mission. Standing next to his mother, he sees John, the only disciple to come to the cross and Jesus’ crucifixion. Interestingly, tradition teaches us that John is the only one who did not die a martyr’s death. Jesus’ words come to mind, “If you try to save your life, you lose it. And if you lose your life for my sake, you will keep it.” Jesus turns to John and says, “John, behold your mother.” Jesus is on the cross dying for the sins of the world, a sacrificial lamb, a substitute for the punishment we so richly deserved. And now he turns to John and asks him to be his substitute by caring for Jesus’ mother. Physically, Jesus was limited in this hour. His strength and breath is diminishing. He can’t help himself but he can help his mother. He has no hands but John’s hands. He has no feet but John’s feet. He has no arms to hold his mother but John’s arms. He has no way to comfort or care and provide for his mother but through John. Weeks later, when Jesus was resurrected and mentoring the disciples for the mission ahead, he told them it was time for him to go but that he would send a substitute, the Holy Spirit. And Jesus did the same for his mother, sending John to care for her.
We, the church, are the body of Christ. Jesus has chosen that we would be his hands, his feet and his arms for each other and for the world. Who does Jesus ask to do His work and accomplish his mission for him? Those who love him. The Gospel of John tells us that John was the disciple Jesus loved and he was the one Jesus asked to care for his mother. Those who make themselves available. John is the only disciple at the cross. He may not have been the most capable but he was the one who was most available because he was there. I want you to notice something. Jesus doesn’t call us and then we make the decision to make ourselves available. We have to make the decision of availability first and then Jesus calls. Those who know Him best. John was the disciple that Jesus loved most. If you spend a lot of time with someone, you get to know them well. And John knew Jesus well too. The closer you are to Jesus, the more you become aware of his will and what he is asking of you and the more you will respond in love to his ever increasing call on your life. And when Jesus calls, you have the honor and the opportunity to participate in God’s work.
Fourth is a more meaningful relationship. Jesus looks down at Mary and doesn’t say mother, he says, “Woman…” I think Jesus is referring to a different relationship, a more earthly relationship. The letter of James, written by the half brother of Jesus, begins with, “James, a servant.” He doesn’t say, “James, a brother of Jesus.” The use of servant tells me that he valued his spiritual relationship with Jesus more than his earthly relationship. So when Jesus looked at his mother and said, “Woman…” he was saying, “We have had an earthly relationship but now I am dying for your sins and the sins of the world and we will have a deeper, more spiritual relationship.” Isn’t it true that many times we are closer to the people who are part of the body of Christ than we are to some of our own blood relatives because we have shared the spiritual journey together? There is something powerful when we connect of a spiritual level. It is a relationship which defines us in God’s eyes and molds and shapes up to become like Jesus. Our love and community within the body of Christ becomes a witness that Jesus is alive in our midst and calls others to him and can change the lives of others because resurrected Jesus is among us and in our life together.
Charles Moore writes, “Alan and I met 20 years ago. We were both students at Cal Poly. I was a freshman and he was a junior. As a physics major, Alan was both intelligent and articulate. How Alan got on with his studies, however, is still a mystery to me. Alan was vritually blind. He could not see well enough to get from one place to another without help. But when it came to reading, it was a different story. I can still see Alan, his face two inches from the text, arduously pecking away at each of his assignments. Alan not only got straight A’s but returned to Cal Poly as a physics professor. Although Jewish in background, Alan was extremely skeptical of anything religious, especially Christian. He was well read and well versed, and he argued his doubt like a scientist. Alan believed that Christianity was unable to pass the theological requirements of science. He therefore pled agnostic. There simply wasn’t enough evidence in his mind to warrant belief in God. As a fledgling freshman, I along with several others, tried to show him there was ample evidence in Christianity’s truth. There were not only facts of fulfilled prophecy and the reliability of the New Testament documents, but also the testimony of creation. Wasn’t that sufficient? Not for Alan…
Alan was unusually happy to discuss religious subjects, which always gave us Christians some hope. But even more intriguing was how he liked to hang out with us. Alan didn't have many friends. He was rather unattractive, mush too serious and totally dependent on others for any kind of transportation. But we tried to reach out to him the best we could. Alan knew he could come anytime with us to the beach or on our recurrent midnight runs to Taco Bell. We tried to include Alan in everything we did. One evening, something happened. A bunch of friends got together to enjoy the sunset and a roaring bonfire. By the time the evening was over, Alan had made a commitment to follow Jesus and no one even. The next day, he came to tell me what happened. I asked him what made him decide. “While everyone was sitting around the fire, I realized that whenever I am around you Christians, I am happy. Even when we disagree with each other, I find myself liking to be with Christians.” “But Alan,” I said, “I thought you were never going to become a believer unless there is first enough evidence.” “Yes Chuck,” he replied, “I still require it. But that’s precisely why I now believe. It’s how you all love each other that strikes me the most. I never considered that evidence before. A good scientist considers all the facts. I simply haven’t found the love you Christians have for each other anywhere else. That’s enough evidence for me that Jesus is Lord. Amen.
