Knowing God Series #17
“Forgiven and Forgiving”
Review
I. The nature of God
II. The Attributes of God
A. God is infinitely GREAT in His ability / capacity
B. God is infinitely and perfectly PURE in His morality and judgments
C. God is infinitely GOOD in His relationships
1. God’s infinite LOVE
2. God’s infinite GRACE
3. God’s infinite MERCY
4. God’s Longsuffering, forbearing God
5. God’s Gentleness
6. God’s Forgiveness
In the spring of 1959 an Air Force major entered a Texas mental institution for the second time. He had tried to commit suicide twice and he had been arrested for forgery and robbery. For years he had been drinking heavily and his marriage had disintegrated. Yet only 15 years before, he had been a model officer headed for a promising career. One momentous event precipitated the major's plunge. He was the lead plane over Hiroshima when the first atom bomb was dropped. Shortly afterward he began seeing throngs of Japanese men, women, and children chasing him in his dreams, and his own life began to collapse.
There are two basic internal struggles that defeat millions of people at one level or another and to one degree or another.
Both are directly related to this subject of forgiveness & forgiving.
The first, is what raised havoc in the life of the Air Force major -- GUILT.
The inability to perceive or realize forgiveness produces GUILT.
The second problem just as savage to our life as the first -- BITTERNESS.
The inability to practice or reciprocate forgiveness produces BITTERNESS.
Guilt and bitterness work together like Bonnie and Clyde.
Where there is one, there will almost always be the other.
If we do not realize our forgiveness by God, we will not have sufficient resources to offer forgiveness to others.
Relational debt operates similar to the dynamics involved in financial debt.
When we come under the pressure of financial debt the pressure to repay that debt is guilt.
No matter how hard I attempt to ignore it or escape, it is always there.
The obligation to pay continually "haunts" me.
It affects my thinking.
It affects my attitudes.
It affects my behaviors.
It becomes a major cause of depression.
I don't feel the freedom to give to others or forgive anything owed to me by others, because I feel like I can't afford it.
We become imprisoned in the prison house of guilt and bitterness, whose guards are ruthless, merciless tormentors bent on my misery and ultimate destruction.
As long as I struggle with this guilt, I will be self-protective and unable to truly love and forgive others resulting in bitterness which eventually projects to God.
Are you living under an oppressive standard of performance you have been unable to live up to? You are in a prison of guilt.
Has someone hurt or offended you or someone you love and you have never forgiven them?
You are living in a prison of bitterness.
The tormentors of guilt and bitterness are thorough.
Eventually, all your attempts to ease your torment will fail.
Jesus Christ alone provides the only real release from this deadly prison.
Today I want to briefly touch on three points.
• Realizing forgiveness
• Receiving Forgiveness
• Reciprocating Forgiveness
I. REALIZING FORGIVENESS
A. The Problem -- Sin
Guilt is real.
Guilt stems from violation of a standard.
Guilt puts distance between us and the one who imposes or enforces the standard.
Your iniquities have made a separation between you and Your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, so that He does not hear." Isa 59:2
Guilt puts distance between everyone.
How do you feel when you forget to do something you promised to do?
Guilt is a terrible taskmaster.
People try to evade its grip at all costs.
Because it is such a powerful manipulator, people try to use it to manipulate others.
Everyone develops their own standard by which they live or expect others to live.
This includes our parents, us, the church, the boss, the government, teachers, GOD.
One thing is for sure!
We cannot and will not, in this lifetime, perfectly or even partially live up to all of the standards imposed.
The result is heavy guilt.
The human system was not designed to live with guilt so we must somehow deny or dismiss it.
Guilt is the foundation of a myriad of physical symptoms and problems.
It must be dealt with!
The problem arises from the ways we choose to deal with guilt which are inadequate and ultimately ineffective.
1. "I Give Up" -- Depression
2. "I'll show you" -- Rebellion
3. "I'm really not that bad" -- Self-deception, denial
4. "I'm sorry; please don't punish me" -- Superficial confession
None of these things work. They only complicate the problem.
To fully realize forgiveness, we must fully perceive failure from God's perspective.
We cannot appreciate forgiveness if we don't understand the need for forgiveness.
"All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Falling short of the glory of God brings justified condemnation. We offended God and incurred debt to our Heavenly Father. Rom 3:23
B. Portraits of Forgiveness
These pictures help us understand the power of forgiveness.
1. A punishing prison Col 2:8-15
2. A Family Fallout Luke 15
3. A Merciful Master Matt 18
4. A Sacrificial Lamb Isa 53
WORDS FOR FORGIVENESS
Blot out the memory, Cover, conceal the record, Pass over, Lift Up & remove, Pardon on the basis of a substitute, Send away, Set free, Release from debt.
We must first acquire a proper perspective then we must establish a proper practice.
Perspective always precedes practice.
A faulty perception will result in a faulty practice.
C. Principle of Forgiveness
In Him we HAVE redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of His grace which He lavished upon us. Eph 1:7
In whom we HAVE redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Col 1:14
Drawing from the portraits of forgiveness in the Bible (especially Matt 18) we can pull together some of the basic elements involved in forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness is communicative
Forgiveness is not appreciated where we fail to realize the seriousness of the offense.
Let us say that we failed to call a friend as promised.
To us it may not be a big deal.
To them we communicated rejection and neglect.
They may have waited around for that call.
They may have needed us to call.
The better the seriousness of the offense is communicated, the more meaningful the process of forgiveness.
To fully realize forgiveness, there must be confrontation concerning the offense.
This is evident in the Biblical pictures previously mentioned.
Offenses were posted outside the wall.
The son came to realize his offense.
The offenses put upon the innocent lamb were listed.
The master confronted the slave with his debt of $10 million.
God devotes a great deal of space in the Scriptures exposing the sinful nature of man.
Only when we continually realize our own failure and God’s forgiveness can we readily reciprocate the same to others.
The one who is forgiven most forgives most.
We have a tendency to tell everyone else about our hurt than the one we need to.
God considers the failure to pursue relationship and restoration and reconciliation as grievous as whatever the offense may have been.
\
2. Forgiveness is Character Based
Forgiveness flows from the heart of God. Out of His goodness, His mercy, grace, faithfulness and love, God freely forgives.
God demonstrated His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Rom 5:8
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the satisfaction for our sins. I John 4
The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin." Ex 34:7
We have redemption in Him through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us. Ephesians 1:7-8
Love visualizes value in another person apart from their performance.
This unconditional love flows out of the character of the one loving and results in a voluntary, sacrificial giving to the need of the one being loved.
There is no person too low, too evil, too worthless, or too unlovable.
There is no sin to great, too terrible but what God chooses to forgive.
Out of His deep, unconditional love, God made it possible for sinful man to be forgiven for the serious offenses deserving of death and be restored to eternal life.
3. Forgiveness is Costly
What was that price?
Because God is also Holy and Just, He could not simply ignore sin.
Justice must be served.
A debt must be paid.
The cost for sin had to be paid by someone.
Jesus became sin FOR US, he who knew no sin, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2Cor 5:21
He became what we were -- sinful, that we might become what He was -- righteous (sinless).
Forgiveness is costly.
Someone always pays, when forgiveness is granted.
It is free to the forgiven but extremely costly for the forgiver.
• Prison house -- Offenses laid on Jesus and nailed to His cross cost His very life.
• Loving Father -- absorbed the cost of restoration for the son.
• Master -- absorbed the $10 million.
There is always a price associated with forgiveness.
Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sin.
The soul that sins must die. Justice must be served.
The price must be paid by us, or by someone else.
Jesus volunteered to die in our place to restore us to community with the Godhead
Knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things...but with the precious blood as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. For He was foreknown before the foundation of the world, but has appeared in these last times for the sake of you. 1Peter 1:18-19
Christ died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. 2Cor5:14
You have a choice.
1. Pay for you own sins.
2. Accept Christ's payment on your behalf.
Our forgiveness cost us nothing.
It cost the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit deeply.
4. Forgiveness is Complete
The payment made by Jesus "paid it all."
When Jesus was ready to give up His life on the cross He cried out, "Tetelestai" -- "paid in full", "complete", "finished".
It was a once for all payment for the sins of every person who lived before and would come after whose work continues and results continue to this very day.
When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high…" Heb 1:3
But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things to come, He entered through the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this creation; and not through the blood of goats and calves, but through His own blood, He entered the holy place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption. Heb 9:11-12
That payment made it possible for God to extend blessing rather than judgment.
That payment made it possible for restoration rather than punishment.
Our sins will not keep us out of heaven.
Our sins sent Jesus to the cross, but the sin question has been resolved through the cross.
Jesus died for the past, present, future sins of the whole world enabling God to forgive sin.
What will keep us out of heaven is a lack of righteousness which can only be found by relationship with the living Christ.
We are viewed no longer as slaves and sons of the devil, but as His beloved children.
for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember against them no more. Jer 31:34
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12
Our forgiveness is complete and total.
God does not hold on to the past like a big stick demanding future payment.
God will not hold out in the present as punishment and a reminder of past offenses.
God will not hold back in the future until we prove future faithfulness.
His forgiveness is complete.
We are not now, nor will we ever be held accountable to pay for sin.
The price has been paid by Jesus Christ. "Jesus Paid It All!!!"
Where there is forgiveness based on some payment, there is no more need for an offering for sin because there no longer remains a debt to pay.
• Stop trying to pay.
• Stop trying to receive forgiveness on a promissory note.
• Relish your reconciliation with God.
The requirements of the law have been fulfilled in us in Christ.
Acts 13:38-39 "Therefore let it be known to you, brethren, that through Him forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you, and through Him everyone who believes is freed from all things, from which you could not be freed through the Law of Moses.
5. Continual
The Lord is good, ready to forgive, abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. Ps 86:5
We HAVE forgiveness. Our relationship is established. It is grace based on a high price that has already been paid. We are not asked to pay, only to obey for the sake of God's glory and our good. It is vital that we properly perceive our forgiveness before God.
Only when our perception is right will our practice become right.
Not until we realize the great debt paid on our behalf and our continual need for and granting of God’s daily forgiveness, will we experience the freedom and the motivation to release those who sin against us.
II. RECEIVING FORGIVENESS
A. Refusing Forgiveness
Failure to realize my personal forgiveness by God affects every area of my life. I will develop a devastating belief system based upon Satan's lies.
• I have nothing to repay because I don't have sin.
"If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us." 1John 1
Ever since Adam man has been afraid to face himself and his own limitations and failures. He fears exposure and rejection and confrontation. Rather than face those things, he rationalizes and refuses to face personal responsibility.
• I must somehow repay before I can be accepted by God.
I develop a set of rules or list of “to dos” in an attempt to demonstrate my sincerity and make up for the failure so clearly evident. Until I follow these things I am shunned by God and cannot find the acceptance I so deeply desire and need.
• I can repay.
I think that I can somehow balance the sin scale with my good works. I undervalue the extent of my rebellion and selfishness. I overestimate the value of my good deeds. I must face the fact that everything I do is tainted with win. I cannot come to God with hands full of my good works. Salvation and sanctification cannot be earned, they are works done in my by the Holy Spirit. I must come to Him with empty hands and no claims, trusting in Christ alone for life. Guilt is a terrible taskmaster.
1. Guilt causes a critical, angry spirit
2. Guilt drives me away from God.
3. Guilt prevents me from forgiving others
If I haven't experienced the freedom of God's forgiveness in my life, I will not have the emotional resources to absorb the pain associated with forgiving others.
I think the slave went after his fellow slave because he failed to realize the completeness of his own forgiveness.
When I refuse to forgive, I become bound by bitterness. Refusing to forgive others only serves to intensify my own feelings of indebtedness, which in turn blocks me from the only source of spiritual life and prevents further forgiveness of others. And the cycle goes on and on. There is only one way out of this devil-designed merry-go-round and that is to freely forgive those who sin against us.
B. Receiving God's Forgiveness
"Blessed are those whose lawless deeds have been forgiven, and whose sins have been covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account." Rom 4:7-8
When God forgives, there remains no obligation or right to demand repayment from ourselves or anyone else. God has been offended. He has chosen to provide payment for us through His Beloved Son. Come to Him with confidence.
We have confidence to enter the holy place and draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Until we properly perceive and receive God's forgiveness of our sins through applying the truth, we will not be able to effectively forgive others.
III. RECIPROCATING GOD’S FORGIVENESS
We are told to forgive others AS the Lord has forgiven us.
Let’s return to the elements of God’s forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness is commanded
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as god in Christ also has forgiven you. Eph 4:32
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Col 3:12-13
2. It communicates
Many different ways to respond to offenses.
I win -- you lose
I want out -- I withdraw
I give in for the sake of the relationship -- I'll meet halfway
I care and communicate or care-municate
This is a place where we need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
I must be certain about the motive for communicating my feelings.
Demand or expect repayment as a condition of relationship vs. restore the relationship
Self-centered vs. others-centered
My satisfaction vs. their sanctification or salvation
If your brother sins against you -- go to him. Matt 18
If you think you have offended someone, go immediately. (Matt 5)
Sometimes communication is not possible.
We can’t forgive and forget. We remember but refuse to demand repayment.
3. It is Costly
We must be willing to bear the hurt that comes with relational storms with the infinite resources made available through Jesus Christ and the realization of the cost of our own forgiveness.
God’s love has flooded our hearts.
He provides all we need to bear the cost of forgiving others.
Forgiveness does require us to deny the offense and the hurt but chooses to forgive the debt out of genuine love.
4. It is character produced
Put on love, for love covers a multitude of sins.
5. It is complete
Genuine forgiveness forgives all the debt. There are no Demands that the past be recalled, recycled, rewritten or revised. These are fantasy demands.
Repayment is impossible
Revenge is impotent
Resentment is impractical.
We must have no demands for payment.
Cover the past with the love of Christ.
Restore the present with the faith of Christ.
Reach to the future with the hope of Christ.
6. It is continual
Forgive 70 X 7 (490) times in the strength of the Lord.
7. It is critical
Forgiveness is more for us than the offender.
Failure to forgive others affects our relationship with God.
Failure to forgive becomes a life altering offenses before God.
Failure to forgive imprisons us with the twin tormentors of guilt and bitterness.
Failure to forgive (becoming debt enforcers) prevents us from the blessings of life.
Failure to forgive strains our relationship with God.
If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother he has seen cannot love the God he has not seen. And we have this command from Him: The one who loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4:20-21
We will be in that prison until we pay what we owe.
What do we owe? Forgiveness.
Then summoning him, his master said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?' And his master, moved with anger (which replace the compassion he felt earlier), handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." Matthew 18:32-35
Don’t pray the Lord’s (disciple’s) prayer. “Forgive my debts as I forgive my debtors.”
For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15
The ONLY way out of this prison house is realizing, receiving and reciprocating forgiveness.
CONCLUSION
1. Reflect on your life.
Think of events in your life you blame God and others for
Examine the plants in your garden.
How many have roots connected to bitterness.
Begin with your bitterness toward God.
2. Repent
Repent of a self-centered focus
Repent of trying to manipulate God
We are not here to enjoy Eden on earth. God left us here as torchbearers in a crooked and perverse generation to offer the light of Jesus Christ in the darkness. You can't live in a fallen world without experiencing its effects. God wants us to demonstrate His ways superior to the ways of the evil one. We have the promise and hope of bliss later. For now, stop expecting ease and comfort in a fallen world. In the world you will have tribulation, be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
Repent of unrealistic expectations of God and others
Repent of trying to find life apart from God.
Pride is the attempt to establish personal significance by personal performance.
Humility is realizing my significance through my relationship with Christ and by the power of God through the weakness of my flesh.
3. Resolve to fully forgive those who have offended you
Put aside denial.
Be honest about your feelings.
Old hurts never die by themselves.
They must be processed through the grid of genuine forgiveness.
Allow the Holy Spirit to walk you through your own hall of shame.
Allow the Holy Spirit to now walk you through your own personal prison where you have incarcerated those who have offended you.
We must give up being policeman, prosecutor, judge, jury and prison guard and forgive.
Release them from debt.
In what way have I not demonstrated Christ's love in the face of hurt?
How has my response to hurt caused me to sin through denial, avoidance or bitter attitudes?
In what ways did a self-centered focus intensify the situation?
Every broken relationship is the result of two people who violated Biblical principles.
Both offender and offended will stand before God.
Take care of you part – release others from theirs and pursue peace and reconciliation.
