Exodus 20:12 (NIV) "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
There are three things we are going to talk about from this verse:
1. What is the right kind of attitude we need to show towards our father and mother?
We are to HONOR them.
We are to recognize them and appreciate their love and concern for us.
2. Who are the persons close to us that we should always HONOR and appreciate?
The text says: Our Father and our MOTHER.
Not the father and father, nor the mother and mother.
But the man and his wife.
Each of them has a distinct personality to care for the development of a child.
3. Why do we need to HONOR them?
So that we may live LONG LIFE on the land.
This is the secret of a long life on this earth.
Love your parents.
Respect them and you will live long.
Every now and then, as a hospice chaplain, I come in contact with patients in their 80's, 90's and beyond being cared for by "children" in their 60's and or 70's.
What does that mean.
There are a lot of adult people taking care of their aging parents.
According to recent statistics, there are nearly 10 million people here in the US who are adult older than 50 and are actively involved in caring for their aging parents.
They are often called as the "sandwich" generation because they had children of their own and at the same time they have aging parents that needed simultaneous care.
They had to balance their time taking care of their children and taking care of their parents who need more and more help as they age.
This is most true also among Filipino families.
As much as possible, we want our parents to live with us under one roof.
I seldom see Filipinos sending their parents to be cared for by senior homes or facilities for the aged.
And so, they give a labor of love as a payback for a lifetime of parental care and sacrifice.
They would often say, "He (or she) did it for me. Now it's my turn to do it for him (or her)."
The number of adults taking care of aging parents has tripled in the past 15 years, and a full 25 percent of grown children are helping their parents by providing either personal care or financial assistance.
This is the way we take care and honor our parents.
The sacrifice involved in caring is staggering, not only emotionally, physically but also financially.
There was this study conducted by the Metlife Market Institute and the National Alliance for Caregiving.
They wanted to find out the economic impact of that care to the professional career of a care giving member of a family.
They discovered that when an adult children quit her job, or cut back on hours, she had just given up a substantial immediate income.
Not only that, in the long run, such action will also reduce the amount of contribution given to their Social Security retirement.
She might even give up additional years of accumulating pension benefits in the process.
When you tally the lost wages, Social Security benefits and pension benefits, the average adult child who is a caregiver for an aging mother loses about $300,000 in lifetime wages and retirement benefits.
This is a great sacrifice indeed in honoring our parents, but it is worth it.
The text says: Exodus 20:12 (NIV) "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in th eland the Lord your God is giving you."
The sacrifice maybe great, but the reward is much more greater and fulfilling.
THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER THIS MOTHER'S DAY:
1. WHAT SHOULD BE THE BEST ATTITUDE TOWARDS OUR PARENTS? WE ARE TO HONOR THEM.
Exodus 20:12 (NIV) 12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
The Greek word for honor means to "revere, to prize, or to value highly."
To honor is to give respect not only for merit done but also for rank.
For instance, many Americans disagree with most of President Obama's decisions, but they should still respect his position as the leader of our country.
You might disagree with what he says and do, but he is still our U.S. President.
In the same manner, children of all ages honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents "deserve" that honor.
I don't care whether your parents have hurt you in the past.
I don't care whether your parents have abandoned you in the past.
The text says that we ought to respect them and esteem them for their position as our parents.
They are still our parents in spite of what they have done to you.
We are to honor and respect them.
But honoring them depends on what stage of life you are in right now.
You could be a child dependent on your parents, you must honor your parents.
You could be young person with a maturing mind able to reason out, you must honor them.
Or you could be an adult with children of your own and with aging parents at the same house, you must honor them as well.
How do you honor them?
As a child, we honor our parents by obeying and respecting them.
We obey them willfully, pleasantly and immediately.
So, children, please honor and respect your parents.
Since you are dependent upon your parents for food, clothing, shelter, insurance... they have the right to call the shots in your life. When you're out on your own that's a different issue.
But as long as they are providing for you and you're dependent upon them, the Bible says, you are to obey them.
To those of you young people, you should honor your parents by accepting and appreciating them.
The older you get, the greater you see the faults of your parents and you compare your parents with other parents.
You start seeing their hangups, their faults, and their many weaknesses especially if they are unbelievers.
It is important for you to accept and honor them in spite of their failures.
Why should I choose to accept my parents?
Acceptance does not mean pretending that they were perfect.
It doesn't mean ignoring their mistakes.
It doesn't mean agreeing with all they did or agreeing with all they asked you to do.
Acceptance means you realize that God used them to bring you into the world.
Your parents may have been excellent, mediocre or poor but regardless of how they treated you growing up, the fact is they gave you something that nobody else in the world could give you -- they gave you your life.
You owe them your life, regardless of the bad parenting skills they used.
God chose to use them to bring us into the world.
That is something to thank the Lord for.
Acceptance means you listen to what they have to say.
Don't tune them out.
Acceptance also means you forgive them when they hurt you.
Prov. 20;20 "If you curse your parents, your life will end like a lamp that goes out in the dark."
That means you will not live long.
There will be no light in your heart if you do that,
Don't be bitter to your parents.
Bitterness is self-destructive.
It always hurt you more than the person you're bitter against.
Even today, if you're still hurting and being resentful and bitter over things your parents did in the past, you're still allowing them to control your life today.
When you say, "You make me mad." You're admitting -- you have control over me.
You must forgive them because God gave them to you.
The fact is God gave you your parents for a purpose.
Even those who were mistreated severely growing up -- does God want you to honor their sins, weaknesses and the things they did wrong to you?
No. But He's saying accept the fact that God chose them to bring you into the world.
God gave you your parents for a purpose and He can even take that hurt and turn it around and bring good out of it if you choose to react in the right way.
You honor your parents when you forgive them for what they did wrong and you choose to focus on what they did right.
Deut. 26:11 "Be grateful for the good things that the Lord has given you and your family."
God says I'm not only to accept my parents, the good and the bad, but I am to appreciate them.
It's easy to take parents for granted.
Some of you had super parents and it's easy for you to appreciate them.
For some of you it's a little more difficult.
Prov. 23:22 "When your mother is old, show her your appreciation."
That means as your mother grows older, the more you should love her.
I would suggest that there are at least two things you could appreciate about your parents regardless who they were:
To those of us adults, we honor our parents by affirming them and not abandoning them.
For many homes, the older their parents get, the less respect they receive.
All of their affirming friends start to die off.
I remember when I visited one older adult in the hospice, he told me, "All my friends have died already and I am the only one left. I have no more friends."
I assured her that I am her friend.
But that is true.
They felt they are no longer wanted in the market place for their skills and wisdom.
Their grown children are busy with their own families and never visited them in the senior facility.
They lead lonely and sad lives.
That is why our aging parents have a great and desperate need - to feel and to know that they made some kind of positive contribution in your life.
They need constant affirmation.
God says He wants you to affirm your parents for the rest of your life as long as they're alive.
How do you do that?
You affirm your parents by staying in touch with them.
Every time you write a letter, a card, make a call, you're obeying this command -- you honor your father and mother.
To honor means to understand the significance of their presence in your life.
I would encourage you to share with them the details of your life.
They're very interested.
The Bible says we are to value and to treasure and to hold in highest esteem our aged parents.
Prov. 3:27 "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
Let us do the right thing while we have still time to do it.
Let us affirm our parents now.
All the flowers in the world at their funeral won't do them one bit of good.
After all, the flowers at the funeral are for your benefit, not theirs.
If you're going to give them flowers, send it to them while they're alive, not when they're dead.
2. WHO ARE WE TO HONOR? OUR MOTHER AND FATHER
Exodus 20:12 (NIV) 12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
If you are up to date with the news lately, you will read in the papers that the Supreme Court will make a decision in the coming months regarding same sex marriage to be legalized in all the 50 States.
What does that mean?
That means, all homosexuals, lesbians, transgender or bisexual will be like a normal part of the community.
They are free to marry and free to adopt and raise up children as they want.
And so, for instance, two lesbian women or two homosexual men will start a family and will want to have children.
But of course, they could not reproduce biologically, so they would adopt or have sperm implantation in order to raise up a child.
Think of it.
That child has either two mothers or two fathers raising him up.
The text says: honor your father and mother, not mother and mother. Not father and mother.
Can two fathers or mothers give the same love to a child?
I don't think so.
Last November 2014, Time Magazine reported that Pope Francis spoke at the World Meeting of Families and declared:
"Children have a right to grow up in a family with a father and mother."
He continued: "The family is the foundation of coexistence and a remedy against social fragmentation."
"Only a father and a mother are capable of creating a suitable environment for the child's development and emotional maturity."
A lot of people especially from the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community have criticized the Pope for making such a statement.
They believe that a children can also be given a suitable emotional development even if being raised by two mothers or two fathers.
But we don't believe that.
It does not make sense.
We need both the father and the mother in the development of every child.
The father has a very unique responsibility to a child development and so does the mother.
That is why we need to honor them.
There was this recent article from the Charisma magazine about a Canadian author who has expressed her opposition to the same sex marriage.
Her name is Dawn Stefanowicz, who has written a book about the "impact" her upbringing had on her by her homosexual father and his multiple male partners.
She said that being brought up by two fathers will bring about a "damaging, confusing, irreparable, and long-term damage to a child."
It took her so long to deny such impact and had to lie several times to protect her father and his partners, but the damage has been done and she had to speak it out now that she is an adult.
She now opposed same sex marriage and affirm the need for the traditional marriage of a man and a woman.
It was only when she reached her early 30's that she decided to go public and expressed her opinion.
She said, "Due to media silencing, political correctness, LGBT lobbying efforts and loss of freedom of speech, it is very hard to tell my story."
"But I am not alone. Over 50 adult children from alternative households, plus ex-spouses with children, and parents who have left the "gay" lifestyle have contacted me.
"Very few children will share their stories publicly."
"For many of us adult children of gay parents, we have come to the conclusion that same sex marriage is more about promoting adults' desires than about sefeguarding children's rights to know and be raised by their biological parents."
Let me repeat: Homosexuality is about promoting their adult desires rather than promoting the rights of the children.
That is why we need to honor our own biological mothers.
"They are my foundation," 17 year old Kristina says of her parents in a recent Association Press interview.
"My mom tells me that even if I do something stupid, she's still going to love me no matter what.
Just knowing that makes me feel very happy and blessed."
Here are some quick facts on parental involvement:
* Children who have parental support from a mother and a father are likely to have better health as adults.
*Students with involved parents tend to earn higher grades, have better social skills, and are more likely to graduate and go on to post-secondary education.
*Children are more likely to be socially competent and have better communication skills when they have parents who are sensitive to their needs and emotions.
*Teens who are monitored by their parents are one-quarter as likely as teens with "hands-off" parents to smoke, drink and use drugs.
Indeed, the role of parents in a child's life is an irreplaceable one.
"Even when young children spend most of their walking hours in child care, parents remain the most influential adults in their lives."
writes Dr. Jack Shonkoff, a board-certified pediatrician who sits in the faculty of the Harvard Graduate School of Education.
That is as children, we need to honor and appreciate both our father and mother's sacrifices.
That is if we are parents ourselves, we must work together for the good of our children without any favoritism.
It is important for us to re-examine our roles as fathers and mothers.
Since today is mother's day, I want to share to you several Scripture references on the role of a mother in the development of a child.
Since there are a lot of Scriptures, I have no time to put everything in the power point but I have listed everything in our newsletter for you to study personally.
The Bible says that a mother is to love her children so that she does not bring reproach on the Lord and on he Savior whose name she bears. (Titus 2:4-5).
A mother is to be available to the needs of her children, morning, noon and night (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
A mother is to be involved, interact, discuss and process life together with her children (Eph. 6:4).
A mother is to teach the Scriptures and the Biblical world view to her children (Psalms 78:5-6' Deut. 4:10).
A mother is to help her children to develop their skills and discover their strengths (Prov. 22:6).
A mother is to set the discipline in the home by teaching her children the fear of the Lord through firm love (Eph. 6:4; Heb. 12:5-11; Prov. 13:24; 19:18).
A mother is to provide an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection and unconditional love (Titus 2:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Eph. 4:29-32; 5:1-2; Gal. 5:22; 1 Peter 3:8-9).
Finally, a mother is to model with integrity by living what she says, (Deut. 4:9, 15, 23; prov. 10:9; 11:3; Psalms 37:18, 37.)
Hence, a mother has a very unique and crucial responsibility in the home especially during infancy.
Being a mother is an ongoing task in the lives of her children, whether adolescents, teen agers, young adults or even adults with children of their own.
Nurture and encouragement a mother gives should never cease.
No wonder, our mothers deserve to be honored and appreciated.
3. WHAT WOULD BE THE RESULT OF HONORING THEM? SO THAT WE MAY LIVE LONG ON THIS EARTH.
Exodus 20:12 (NIV) 12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
When we honor our parents, particularly our mothers, the text says that we live long on this earth.
Talking about life, there are those whose lives are short and there are those whose lives are long.
There are those who do not even reach the age of 50 and they die.
There are those who reach a hundred and more years.
Our life expectancy on this earth varies from one person to another.
Usually, the habits that we have formed over the years with regards to the food that we eat and the way we handle emotional stress are important factors in lengthening our years on this age.
And so, you will usually read of more than a hundred years old man or an old woman living in some distant village of the world eating only vegetables and fruits away from the stress filled life of modern society.
We usually look at them with envy and say, "If only I will live in that place, I can perhaps live over a hundred also."
But here in our text is revealed a secret that many people overlook.
Here is the secret of a long life and health detached from any stress that the world can give us.
It says that when we appreciate and honor our parents, we will live long life on earth.
Wow!
How can that happen?
Because when we appreciate our parents, we learn to forgive them and overcome our hatred and bitterness.
You see, hatred, unforgiveness and bitterness are like poison in our souls.
The more we allow these sins to continue in our hearts, the more these grows, develop and contaminate every parts of our body.
When we do NOT deal with these bitterness and hatred in our hearts, we are prone to other diseases that can destroy our immune system.
Consequently, a person can die young because of such diseases.
However, when a person has the habit of appreciating and honoring his parents, particularly his mother, he has always peace in his heart and mind.
He will always be happy, always be healthy and always smiling because all of the poison in the body has been dealt with.
Hence, honoring our parents will make us live longer on this earth.
Here are some Scriptures for you to think about:
Obedience to the Lord's command will prolong our life.
Deut. 5:33 (NIV) "33 Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess."
Satisfaction and Contentment in life will prolong our life.
Psalms 91:16 (NIV) "With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Living a life of righteousness will prolong our life.
Proverbs 16:31 (NIV) "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness.
Speaking words of healing and encouragement to people will prolong our life.
1 Peter 3:10 (NIV) " For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech."
Brothers and sisters, it is possible to live long on this earth.
The more we release and get rid our emotional stress, the more we live long on this earth.
The more we express our appreciation and gratitude to our mothers, the longer our lives will be.
The more we speak words that blessed people close to us, the longer our lives will be.
These are proven Christian principles that we should not neglect.
Memorize this verse and recite this over and over.
Exodus 20:12 (NIV) 12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."
Someday, when we grow old and our hair are gray, we will have a greater appreciation of this verse more than ever.
Let us now honor our mothers.
All the mothers, please come forward so that we could pray for you.
