Believe 24 – Self-Control
May 3, 2015
Titus 2:11-14
If we could take an honest picture of ourselves, what would we say we struggle with?
Actually, if others could take a look at us, what would they say we struggle with?
There are so many things in life which trap us, things which turn us into slaves, often times without our knowledge. But we find we’ve given our heart, spirit, mind and body to something which is not good for us.
We can look at Baltimore this past week. The looting and rioting serve no other purpose than to give people a license to destroy. There was even a mother who was seen beating on her son because he was taking part in the riots. We could even say she lost it.
But, we don’t have riots in Madison County. So, what grabs you?
Maybe you’re in the car and there is no conversation, because everyone is on their phones. Or you’re at a restaurant and the only conversation is what people have on their phones. They’re tweeting, checking out facebook, instagram, texting, playing a game, checking their email, maybe even checking their bank account. But they’re consumed with their phone.
Maybe you dread when your credit card statement arrives because you know you’ve charged more than you can afford to pay back. You can justify every expense, every purchase has a reason behind it. Good days need to be celebrated, bad days need to be consoled. So, we shop. But you fail to admit your spending is out of control. You borrow money with hopes that you will never have to pay it back.
Or maybe your problem is food. Maybe it’s salty snacks. Or it’s those hidden bags of candy and chocolate. You can’t help but grab some every time you walk by. Personally, speaking, that’s one of my biggest downfalls. I love my chocolate, along with a hot cup of coffee.
Maybe for some of you, the big issue is your desire to control all of life. When everything is going your way, your great to be with, but if life has taken a turn in a different direction, you’re a bear to live with.
Maybe it’s anger! Maybe, it’s lust! Maybe, it’s . . . you fill in the blanks.
Well, today, we are talking about SELF CONTROL! This is a biggie. Because I really believe so much of who we are comes from self-control.
You see, self-control doesn’t come easily. If we want to win the battle for self-control, we need to understand a few things.
One of the devil’s greatest lies is getting us to believe he doesn’t exist. So we make fun of him and turn him into a cartoon character. We have no concern about his destructive power. Another one of his great lies is there are no moral absolutes. Everyone can decide for themselves what’s right and what’s wrong. You can do anything you want, as long as it’s legal, and even then we can argue about our rights. We aren’t concerned about hurting people. Life is all about us and satisfying our wants. He doesn’t warn us that we can destroy our lives and hurt others in the process.
Peter warns us, 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) satans greatest joy is to lead you away from God.
We also need to understand that the phrase self-control, in my opinion is an oxymoron. The call is for us to control ourselves. That can imply we need to use a familiar phrase . . . willpower. I just don’t have any willpower when Debbie buys 10 pounds of my favorite chocolate. You’re right! I don’t have any willpower. On my own, on my own power, I am always going to struggle. I don’t really like that phrase
Remember Paul’s words in Philippians 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We may look at this verse as an old good one. It may be a favorite verse, but what does it really mean? Firstly, it doesn’t say I can do all things through Michael’s power. It doesn’t say Michael is strong enough that he can handle anything.
It says I (Michael) can do all things . . . I can do anything? WHY? Because it is Christ who is giving me strength. It is not my own strength. It is the most powerful power, the most dynamic dynamite power which is available to me. It is the strength and power of God All Mighty. It is the power which comes from the God who brought His Son back from the dead. It is power from the God who offers us eternal life. It is more power than we can even imagine. That’s the power source we need to rely on. So, with that power in mind, I can accomplish great things and I can resist destructive things. Because I have the power of Jesus Christ.
In the video for Sunday School, Randy Frazee told this story about his work with George Gallup.
Randy said he was talking about self-control, when Gallup stopped him and said, ‘Randy, you’re not an alcoholic, are you.’ Randy said no. Gallup told him, “well, I am, and so is my dad, when I took a drink as a young man, something happened to me that doesn’t happen to a lot of people.” Gallup continued, I believe there was a predisposition toward this in my life, and it overcame me, and I could not lick it. Even after I became a Christian, I couldn’t lick it. I felt so guilty and so powerless.
And, Gallup said, then, one day, I heard Jesus whisper to me, George, if you never figure this out, it’s okay ~ I died for this. And, he said, when I soaked in that GRACE gave me the power, I haven’t had a drink since, and it’s been 30 years.
Frazee said, he’s never had anyone teach him about the role of grace in self-control.
You see, we think of self-control as a legalistic virtue. If we follow the law we will be okay. We can resist temptation if we follow the law. But we quickly learn, it doesn’t matter what the law says, we still break the law.
As Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit, he concludes by saying, in Galatians 5:23, against such things there is no law. In other words, there is no law that can internally produce these virtues, and certainly not self-control. So, we need to understand self-control is directly connected to God control, and self-control is an oxymoron. It’s really God control.
We need to remember that it is God who is in control, we are not God and we are not in control. And to experience God’s presence and give control of life to God we need to firstly embrace a relationship with Jesus Christ. Then we need to give God ownership of our lives. We surrender our lives to God and give God the control.
We will say, I have the power to control myself. I have the willpower. But in reality we should be saying, I have the power, through Christ, to control myself.
So, we look at what Paul wrote to Titus in Titus 2. After describing how we should live our lives, using self-control, he then wraps it up, saying,
11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people,
12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,
13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,
14 who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works.
Understand, that it’s grace that teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright lives. It’s not the law. It’s the grace of God, through Jesus, the Christ.
And living this god controlled life is not easy. Because society knows we struggle with self-control. They advertise directly at our lack of control. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t make the food look so good at restaurants. I mean I’ve never thought the food looks as good or that I get as much as I see on those commercials. I was a lottery commercial, and of course, they want you to play the lottery, but the state of Indiana ends the commercial by saying, “Play responsibly.” Really! I want to win! How about every alcohol commercial, they end with “drink responsibly.” Now they don’t want you to get into an accident, but really now. They are marketing to our lack of self control.
Yet, if we can exercise the fruit of self-control, everyone benefits. In some ways, we might consider this virtue the most important because without self-control, we will give in to everything else around us.
In this passage, Paul tells us grace does at least three things ~
1. Grace redeems us (11, 14a). There is no way we can save ourselves. God took the initiative and brought salvation to us. Verse 14 explains that Christ “gave Himself for us.” He paid the price to buy us back from the shackles of sin.
2. Grace reforms us (12, 14b). Salvation not only changes our position before God, we’ve also been given a change in attitude, appetite, ambition and action. We’ve been given freedom from the condemnation of sin and we also have freedom from the domination of sin. Warren Wiersbe writes that the “same grace that redeems us also reforms our lives and makes us godly.” God is training us through the Holy Spirit to be the kind of people that bring glory to Him.
Notice in verse 12 that we can say “no” to ungodliness and passions. To be self-controlled is to restrain ourselves by not giving in to our unholy and unhealthy desires. We can say “no” when everything in us is saying “yes” for all the wrong reasons. We deny worldly lusts when we withhold our consent from them and when we refuse the delight they suggest.
Again, Paul tells us to use God’s power and strength, as he told the people in Corinth. 13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Usually, the escape comes with a simple one word answer . . . NO!
God’s grace also allows us to say “yes” by working on the positive by living “self-controlled, upright and godly lives.” Since we’ve been redeemed from this world, we don’t have to be conformed to it.
Lastly, we learn that Grace rewards us (13). We can have self-control because we’ve been redeemed from the way we used to live. We’ve also been reformed on the inside and have the power to actually change. Verse 13 reminds us that the return of Jesus is our only hope and glory. Instead of living for today, we live for what is to come. This is in stark contrast to the way the world calls us to live.
We live in a world which seeks gratification now! We want what we want, and we don’t want to wait. We get anything and everything, because we don’t care about self-control, we just care about satisfying our desires. And again, the world plays into that. Notice how Paul said, we waiting for our blessed hope. Who likes to wait for anything?
But as we wait, we have this great opportunity to serve Christ, by being Christ controlled, which leads us to be self-controlled and the world sees the way we act.
One of the books I used extensively in my doctorate was Celebration of Discipline, by Richard Foster. He wrote, “Our ordinary method of dealing with ingrained sin is to launch a frontal attack. We rely on our willpower and determination. Whatever may be the issue for us – anger, fear, bitterness, gluttony, pride, lust, substance abuse – we determine never to do it again; we pray against it, fight against it, and set our will against it. But the struggle is all in vain, and we find ourselves once again morally bankrupt…”
So many of us have been there. We need to leave here today knowing it’s not my willpower, but it’s the power of God through me. That’s the only way we can be self-controlled. Will you allow God to control you, so you can control your self?
