MELVIN NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
ILL. A movie pictures 2 people in a canoe in the middle of a lake, with a beautiful moon shining above. The sky is filled with twinkling stars. In the background a thousand violins are playing softly as he sings to her. And the song writer says, "That's love." But most of us know that it is not necessarily so.
Ideal love is a beautiful thing. The composer writes that "Love is a many splendored thing." Another author writes, "Love is never having to say that you are sorry."
But those of us who have been married for a few years know that love contains a lot of apologies. We are often saying, "I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll never do that again."
The Apostle Paul comes close to being the composer of a great love song in the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians. In that chapter he pictures for us perfect love - ideal love. Like the composer & song writer, he steps out of himself for a moment & pictures how love ought to be.
He expresses it in words, dangles it before us, & says that this ideal love can be yours & mine. Listen to what he says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Paul knows that we are real people working men & women in a competitive world where love is not often evident - moms & dads, husbands & wives, sons & daughters trying to relate to one another.
He writes these words & says, "As idealistic & beautiful as this love is, you & I can experience this kind of love. In a world that is complicated - in a world with pain & sorrow - this kind of love can & should exist."
I. LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE SUFFERS LONG
Notice that Paul begins this passage by saying, "Love is patient," or as the KJV puts it, "Love suffers long." The Greek word that he uses can be translated either way.
It basically means that love is something that "endures a long time" - that doesn't easily give up, but keeps on persisting in spite of everything.
A. It doesn't take a great deal of talent to suffer. All of us suffer in one way or another. We don't have to graduate at the top of our class to suffer. We don't have to be rich or poor, young or old, male or female to suffer.
And some may suffer more than others. Some may suffer with more grace than others - but all of us suffer.
In this passage Paul is saying that a unique quality about the love he is describing is that this love is willing to suffer for a long time - it suffers long.
I suppose that we need to define "suffering." Synonyms that come to mind are words like "pain," or "sorrow," or "rejection & tribulation."
But to boil it down to one simple idea, I think that I would say that "Suffering is experiencing something in life that we want very much not to experience."
The key to that is "very much." Suffering is something that hurts - that says, "I do not want to experience this!" That is suffering.
B. That opens up a door to all kinds of possibilities. It may be trivial suffering, or it may be tragic suffering.
It may be nothing more than being in a great hurry & getting into the express line at the grocery story & finding that everybody in front of you is writing a check. Now, that is "experiencing something that you want very much not to experience."
It may also be tragic. You may have a cancer which constantly reminds you of its presence - because it is always inflicting pain. That is suffering, too.
We don't like to suffer, but Paul says that the love he is talking about is willing to suffer for the object of its love. It is willing to endure that which it very much does not want to experience - but it does so, because of its love.
I suggest that such love is greatly needed in our time. Yet I suppose that if we asked, "Hey, do you want some love - it suffers long?" - most of us would not be anxious to sign up. Who wants to suffer long?
Yet, in a world where suffering is very real, maybe the willingness to suffer long is one of the most precious gifts that we can give.
II. PAUL IS TALKING ABOUT AGAPE LOVE
A. Do you understand the difference between agape love & erotic love?
1. In Scripture the Greek word used here for love is "Agape." It is some-times called "divine love" because it is the word that is used to express God's love. It is an unselfish love that caused God to give Himself so that the world might be saved from its sin. This is Agape love.
Let me define Agape love & challenge you to remember that definition. "Agape love moves you to help without expecting any reward."
Our first reaction might be, "That's not such a big deal. I do lots of nice things without expecting anything in return." Good! But I wonder if that is really true?
Basically, we are rather selfish, & every time we do something, we expect something in return. At the very least, we expect some appreciation or some recognition for what we have done. And if we don't get it, "Well, I know when I'm not appreciated."
It is also the kind of love that causes a parent to go through some difficult times with a child who declares, "If you really loved me, you would let me do what I want to do."
Agape love is a love that does something, that does whatever is required, & expects no reward in return.
2. In contrast, there is “Eros” - & this is defined as a "love that is controlled by desires." It wants something, & it acts to satisfy that want.
It is a love that is not willing to endure suffering for someone else's sake. By its very nature Eros love is concerned only with its own desires & will move instantly to eliminate its own suffering, whatever it might be.
But look at Jesus. On that terrible night before His crucifixion, when Jesus & the apostles reached Gethsemane, Matthew 26:37-39 tells us that He took Peter, James & John with Him into the garden,
"...and He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then He said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.' ... Going a little farther, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.'
But then He immediately prays, "Nevertheless, not My will, but Thine be done." That is Agape. That is long suffering. That is Christ saying, "I will suffer through it all, for the sake of others."
B. But I want you to notice that there is a great difference between suffering long & suffering endlessly.
Paul says, "Love suffers long," & we, as his students, raise our hands & ask, "But teacher, how long do we have to suffer?" Paul says, "I can't tell you that. It may be a year. It may be 10 years. It may be only tomorrow. But love suffers long."
"Well, we like deadlines, Paul. We would like to know just exactly how long we are going to have to suffer." But Paul doesn't tell us. He simply says that "love suffers long," & he leaves it dangling there.
"But does it suffer forever?" Not necessarily. It may, but at times in Scripture there is a limit to love - where love draws a line & says, "I will suffer no longer!"
Look at God's love as an example. Read the book of Romans & find that God looks at a people who have rebelled against Him & deeply entrenched themselves in sin. They have said, "We don't want God in our lives any longer."
God looks at them. He has suffered long with them - breathed into their nostrils the breath of life. He has loved them & has endured their blasphemy & their lies.
But finally, God says, "That is enough! I will give them up to their reprobate minds & to their passions. I will give them what they want. I will come out of their lives & give themselves to themselves!" God says, "I draw the line."
How does God know when to draw the line? We don't know. Is there a great blueprint somewhere with a line drawn down the middle that says, "You suffer this long, but don't suffer any longer?" I doubt it..
But it seems to indicate in Scripture that there is a limit in each situation where suffering says, "I will suffer no longer."
ILL. A woman is married to an alcoholic. Her erotic love for him has died long ago. The only thing that keeps her marriage going is Agape love. She continues to give to him, expecting nothing in return. Hoping for something, maybe, but not really expecting anything any more.
Must she suffer forever with him? I can't say. But I think that there must be a time when love not only suffers long, but love finally faces the truth & acts on that truth.
She says, "I have suffered long I have endured the abuse & the beatings. I have stayed awake at night wondering if you would ever come home. But now is the limit. I draw the line." And she leaves him because she knows it is no longer any good for him for her to stay & suffer long.
Suffering long & suffering endlessly are not one & the same.
III. LONG-SUFFERING PRODUCES POSITIVE REACTIONS
I believe also that long-suffering love produces positive reactions in our lives.
A. For example, Long suffering produces patience - patience with ourselves - patience to take a deep breath & relax, to look in the mirror & say, "Maybe you are not as bad as I thought." Patience to accept who we are & what we are.
Patience to realize that we don't have the mind of an Albert Einstein, & therefore we are not going to solve all of the difficult equations in the world. But realize that we do have a mind, & we can use it to the glory of God.
Patience to realize that we don't have the musical talents of a Mozart, & therefore aren't going to compose symphonies & operas & make tremendous contributions to the world musically, but we can still make a joyful noise unto the Lord, & that is all Scripture requires.
Patience to realize that we may not be spiritual giants like the Apostles, but also realizing that we can pray, & read our Bibles, & serve Him faithfully, too.
We can accept ourselves, & our situation in life - not accepting the evil that is there - but accepting the situation & being able to suffer with it, & suffer long.
B. Long suffering develops courage. Courage to stand up against that which is evil & say, "I hate it." "I hate the famine, the poverty, the disease, & I will not give in. I am God's soldier & I'll do battle against them as long as I am on this earth."
C. Long suffering produces love - a love that can look across the street & see a neighbor in trouble, & move to meet a need & never expect anything in return.
It is a love that looks across an aisle in church & sees the trace of a tear on a cheek & moves to meet a need there, & never expects anything in return.
It is a love that forgets about self & thinks about others. It is a love that will give, & give, & give some more.
ILL. The greatest example of all is God. Have you ever wondered, "Why do you put up with us, God? Why don't you snap your fingers & blow us all to smithereens, & start all over again?"
Or, "Why don't you come today & set everything in order - put us all in our places & say, 'You have to be good little boys & good little girls. You can't continue to misbehave the way you are.'?"
Have you ever wondered why God just doesn't do that? It seems to me sometimes to be the most logical thing for God to do. The answer is because God's love is longsuffering.
Peter answers it best. People were asking Peter, "Jesus told us that He was coming back again. When is He going to come? Why is He delaying so long?"
Peter answers, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise…. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
So the love of God keeps on giving - loving us when we are unlovable - loving us when we are rebellious. His love keeps on giving because it is long suffering.
INVITATION: I don't know where you are with the Lord. Some of you may be walking very close to Him - while others may not be. Maybe you have had a week of trials & tribulations & found that eros love raised its head more often than agape love.
I encourage you to see the love that God has expressed in Jesus Christ, & challenge you to reach out to Him.
