Disagreeing In Love By Pastor Rob Ketterling.
Today I want to preach about loving deeply the people we disagree with. Loving deeply the people we disagree with. Whether it's somebody that's in our family, in our church, in our faith, outside of the family of God, there is a lot of people that we can disagree with. And I want to let you know that this message was really birthed out of my private devotion times.
And if you're not familiar with this, we talk about it quite often. We do something here called SOAP. And I will tell you about this over and over again. We ask our church to read two chapters of the Word of God every day. And that stands for the S, you read the Scriptures. You write down what you Observe about it, how you can Apply it to your life, and then Pray about it. And so I do that. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I read those same two chapters with you every day, read them, right down any observations, write down how it applies to me, and I pray about it.
Sometimes in those moments I have something happen where God will just download a sermon to me. And I will tell you I enjoy that, because it makes pastoring easier. Where I'm not planning for a sermon, all of a sudden God downloads it to me. Many times I'll just have a thought, a verse. Sometimes I'll write even the whole sermon in my devotion time. It's a neat thing. But I do have a file that's continually growing of sermons.
This is one of those ones that just in February as we were reading through Mark, as we were reading through Mark, God just had a verse pop to me on loving people that you disagree with. And how many know in the world that we live in, especially with social media, you can have all sorts of people that you disagree with. You can disagree with people you will never meet, and you can hate them deeply through the Internet. What a joy, how many know? It's amazing. How many know you never knew you had an opinion on vaccination as strong as you did until it went viral, and then you found out, ah, you know. Okay, so we need to learn how to love deeply people we disagree with and not hate them.
And it's sad. I mean, with the Internet people can start disagreeing with people and attacking people, and they feel like they are anonymous, like their keyboard makes them anonymous. And how many know that does not make you anonymous? They can still find out who you are. I can tell you this, that you can't hide behind the keyboard. I just want to let you know I had something this last week, and it made it difficult to preach even this weekend. Because just this last weekend through social media I had a disagreement with somebody. I didn't even know they knew who I was, and they started sending things around. And I won't go into any more details with it, and I want to let you know that this sermon in no way is related to that; it goes back to Mark. And if you're wondering when we read this, you can line it up with SOAP, all right? So just let me give this disclaimer: Any names or similarities in this sermon are in no way related to the last week's involvement. All right, how many feel good about that? All right.
Oh, man, there is plenty to be offended on, plenty to be offended on. And I thinks it was the great Charles Schultz, the writer of the Peanuts cartoon strip, that said there is a couple of things we should never talk about: politics and religion, and then he said the Great Pumpkin. But never talk about politics and religion. But I want it to be clear that if we're going to be disciples of Jesus Christ, we are going to have to talk about our faith. You're going to have to talk about your faith. You're going to have to open up your mouth and talk about your faith. And if you don't talk about your faith, I don't think you're being true to the one that has saved you, that has forgiven you. And if you start talking about your faith, you're going to have disagreements with people; little ones, medium sized ones, giant ones. And we should pay attention, because Jesus told us to go in all the world and preach the gospel in Mark 16. We are supposed to go and preach the gospel. John 20:21 says, "As the Father has sent me, I am ending you." Matthew 5:16 says, Let your light so shine before men, that they see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
I mean, there is something about this. He's really talking about, hey, you can't have the truth and hide it. And there will be a tempting lifestyle that says you have the truth and you just pull back from the truth, don't talk about the truth, don't rile anyone up, don't really disagree with anyone, just be silent.
But we really can't be silent. We can't be silent because there's so many issues that our country deals with that are in our neighborhood, that our friends deal with, that our family deals with, that have great moral implications, that if we are silent I really believe we are not being true to what God has called us to be as disciples. I mean, how can we be silent about abortion and orphans and treatment of the elderly and violence and racism and hatred and abuse and sexuality issues? How can we be silent and still be true to the one that has saved us? How can we know that people are doing things that are destructive to their life, they are leading to destruction, and just be silent and say, "Well, I don't want to talk about religion or any of these things that might rile them up?" And I believe that God wants us to be able to talk to people about things that we deeply disagree with them, but to be able to do it in a way that is coated and surrounded with love.
And there is just a scripture that got me going on this. It's found in Mark chapter 10. If you have your Bible, turn with me to Mark chapter 10, and we are going to look at the story of the rich young ruler. It is found in three of the four gospels. It is interesting, they all tell us that he had money, one of the gospels tells us that he was young, and one of the gospels tells us he was a ruler. We put it together; rich young ruler. In Mark chapter 10, verse 17, we have the story. And you say, "It is interesting, Pastor Rob, that that would be the story that God would cause you to just have this moment with him. Because there were people that Jesus disagreed with way more than the rich young ruler." But this is what the Lord jumped out to me with the scripture. He just made it pop, so I want to share with you. Mark chapter 10, verse 17.
17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”
20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. Let me read that again. Jesus looked at him and loved him. And this is the verse where the Holy Spirit just started having the page just come to life for me. Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”
Now, this guy is legitimate. This guy loves God. This guy falls on his knees. This guy is saying the right things. This guy sincerely is coming to Jesus because he believes Jesus has the answers. And how many know Jesus does have the answers? So he comes to him for the answers. He's thinking, "Hey, I'm desiring to follow you and I'm wanting to be right, I want to have eternal life."
And Jesus is telling him, "You've got do this."
And the guy is like, "I'm doing that."
And all of a sudden Jesus pauses, and the Bible says that he looked at him and he loves him. And as I'm reading that, again, the Holy Spirit just makes it jump out, like, Jesus is about to tell this guy, "I disagree with one area of your life. I'm really going to hit you where it hurts. But I love you. I love you. I love you enough to tell you the truth. I love you enough to hit the one issue that is keeping you from a right relationship with God." And it's oozing out of him. One commentator says that the way that it says that he loves him almost implies that Jesus hugs him. Now I don't know if I fully agree with that, that Jesus hugged him, but the point is the love that Jesus has for this guy is an active love. His eyes were saying love, his words were saying love, his body language was saying love. Everything about him was saying, "I'm about to tell you something that we really disagree on, but I love you deeply."
Now, again, we're going to be called to talk to people about things that we're going to disagree with them. We are going to disagree with them. But here's the thing, if we don't have the courage to tell them the truth, I don't think we really love them. Martin Luther said this: "If you're preaching the gospel, and you're not speaking to the current issues of the day, I don't believe you're really preaching the gospel." And you think about it. If we are going to preach the gospel that Jesus wants to save you from your sins, Jesus wants you to repent of your sins, and we never talk about the real issues that culture is facing, we're just kind of dancing around the issue. We're just dancing around.
How many know it would have been really easy for Jesus to dance around the issue knowing that this guy's issue was money. He could have said, "Hey," like, "Just follow me, and I'll work on you. Okay, I'll work on you. I know you have issues. I even know what your big issue is, but don't worry about it, because these guys behind me, these twelve, they have bigger issues than you. Have you ever met Peter? Because he has huge issues." And, you know, "Just come with us. We'll expand to thirteen. We will make you an exception, okay?" But Jesus has enough courage to tell him, "Hey, I'm going to call you out on this. I'm going to call you out on the one area that really is the big issue. I'm not going to say you're fine, and I'm going to call you out, but I'm going to do this in love. I have the long view for your life." Get this. "I have the long view for your life. And rather than just being able to have a nice little moment here that might not cause you to find the truth, I have the long view for your life, and I want to tell you the truth so your eternity can be set." Okay, so we have to have the long view when we talk to people that we disagree with.
And I believe Jesus is really handling this much like Proverbs says. In Proverbs 27:5 it says, Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs is telling us that a good friend, a person that really has the best interests of that person in mind, will tell them the truth. Somebody who is not a good friend will be basically just lying and kissing up and be like, "Oh, yeah, it is all fine, it's good," and they won't point it out.
Now, I do want to point something out. It says, Better is open rebuke than hidden love, and some of you might be thinking, "See, that's why I go to Facebook with these problems. I want to open it up and let people know." Okay, that's not it. That's not it. What it's saying is it's better to open up the topic than to keep it quiet. Love will open up the topic. That it's better to open up the topic and give that rebuke for the area that it's needed than to hide it and not say anything. So, again, we don't want to go and blab it out on Facebook and use social media to let people know why we disagree with them. But he is saying, Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiply kisses. And he's saying, "Hey, if you are being a friend to somebody that you disagree with, you're going to be willing to tell them the truth, and it might hurt a little bit, but you're at least willing to tell the truth."
And I will never forget years ago I saw a video by Penn Jillette. You may or may not be familiar with this. But Penn Jillette had a video, and he does this video blog. And he talks about after the show that he does in Vegas, this guy comes up to him and says, "Hey, you know, thanks for using me in your show, and that was great, and for the souvenir. I'm glad you're signing it." And he said, "But can I just tell you something?" He was like, "I just felt led to tell you about Jesus, my Lord and Savior," and he goes and tells Penn this whole thing.
And Penn is like, "Now, I disagree with this guy." He's like, "But I actually thought this guy was really sincere, and the guy was really kind." And as Penn is telling this on this video, you can see he's emotionally moved. He's like, "You know, I have had other guys tell me that I'm going to hell and they are jerks, you know." But he goes, "This guy really believed it." And he goes, "Man, there is something about him, like, he was kind and he was nice. Again," he goes, "I don't believe it, but it was kind and it was nice." And he goes, "Man, I respect that the guy was willing to at least tell me that, because I have no respect for anyone that believes I'm going to hell and won't at least tell me about it."
Proverbs is saying, "Hey, if something has got something, at least have the ability to open it up, to talk to them, to be willing to bring up the subject." And Jesus does that with this guy, and I think that we should do it.
The Bible tells us as well in Leviticus 19:17. It's giving rules for the people to live by, and he says, Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. It was saying if you really love your neighbor, go ahead and tell him what he is doing wrong, and be in relationship with one another, and don't share in their guilt. And if you really love them, you're going to need to be the kind of neighbor, or friend in the church if you will, or person that's able to stand up for righteousness and at least open up the topic. Otherwise you're kind of sharing in their guilt. So be willing to do it.
How many know, though, that you live in a tension of when to say something and when not to say something. You're kind of like, "Do I say it? Do I defend it? That could rise up." How many know, it is almost like the same tension of when somebody has food on their face. How many know what I'm talking about? The other day we were out to lunch, and I was with a couple staff members, and one of the staff members had some food on their face. And I was like, but, you know, I thought it's a small piece, you know, a small piece. And we are all friends. So I mean, the friends lowered it. If it was like people from church, maybe I'd want them to not be embarrassed, but they could be embarrassed in front of staff. And then the other thing, the food was slowly moving closer to the mouth, so I thought eventually it would get in. You know, so I thought, "Just hold your peace and it will get in." And then they take a little napkin and they are going and I thought, "Ah," and then they didn't get it. It stayed. And I thought it was napkin resistant. And then finally it was gone. And I thought, "All right, no awkward moment."
How many know there is a tension? Do you say it? Do you don't? You are going to live in that same tension with speaking the truth to people and being with people you disagree with. You're like, "Do I? Is this? How hard? What do we do?" And I think there is a beautiful scripture in Ephesians. Ephesians 4:15 says, Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
And in Ephesians he's saying, "Hey, you've got pastors and leaders and they are helping you to grow, and one of the things we have to do is speak the truth in love to one another, and we will continue to mature if we do that." And I love this, that truth is put with love. If I could tell you one way that we are going to be able to go out in the world and disagree with people, we are going to have to wrap our disagreement in love. We are going to have to ooze love. Like Jesus oozed love for the rich young ruler, we're going to have to speak the truth in love. Because how many know that the truth can hurt? If the truth is not wrapped in love, it is one of those things that we can be right, but we can come across as being repulsively right. We can tell the truth and be obnoxiously right. And I think God is trying to try to tell us we are going to disagree with people, but you've got to speak the truth in love and need to wrap that truth in love.
And I absolutely love this illustration that Tim and Joy Downs use in an article, "Speaking the Truth In Love," and I want to use this with the church. It's talking about when you disagree with people, you need to tell somebody something that you're on the other side of the issue, and you've got to tell them something that's truth. You love them too much to keep it quiet. Whether they are in the church, in your family, or outside the church, you're got to talk to them. They said the best way to do that is to speak the truth in love.
And here's the illustration. They said imagine truth being the product that you want to sell. Okay, so track with me. You have a company and you want to get this truth out to somebody. It's like the product. Your belief, your thinking about God, you want to get that to somebody, and that's your product. So you have this great product called Truth. And if it was like any other company, research and development and engineering would take it and make it the best possible Truth that you could get out to other people. But before Truth would go to the public, how many know that at any company, you would send it for research and development and engineering, it would go to marketing. And marketing would say, "How can we get people to buy this product so that it looks good, because we have a really good product and we want to get it to the people." And so marketing goes and says, "What can we do to make this look better?"
And they use the example of cereal, so I'll use that. So what if cereal was packaged like this? [Holding up paper bag marked Cereal] Amazing cereal was packaged just in a brown paper bag, and you went to the store and you couldn't even see it. You didn't know what it looked like. They are saying that's Truth, and it's without marketing. That's just research, development and engineering. And they said, "But marketing goes and says, we want to put it in a great box and make it look good."
And this is funny. I asked the staff to get me cereal in a box that would really work with marketing, and I've got to admit, Kashi is really making this illustration difficult right now. This looks like sawdust [Holding up paper bag marked Cereal] and this tastes like [Holding up Kashi cereal box] anyways, all right. I'm just letting you know, okay?
Somebody at Kashi thought that burgundy and green were good colors and it was important to let you know this is Non GMO Project Verified. And so whoever wants to buy this, that was like love language to them on the box of Kashi. And they thought these wonderful pictures of clumps would be good. So, again, thank you, interns. All right. It's good, though. It's good.
They are saying this is Truth. This is Truth with love. This is marketing getting ahold of your Truth and packaging it. And I'm telling you what, marketing needs to get ahold of your truth. Love needs to be wrapped around your great truth. You have the words of life. You can bring them to this world. You have the words of truth. You have things that can set people free. You yourself have been set free from sin, and God is like "I've given you great truth." But he's saying, "As you deliver the truth," wrap it up in love and present it the best that you possibly can."
Make sure whenever you speak that truth to people that your eyes are oozing love, that your body language is oozing love, that your tone is oozing love. And then instead of going out and being that angry person, you're the one that it's so well wrapped in love, that even though the person disagrees with you, they are like, "I can't help but be drawn back to you."
And I can tell you this, we have people in our church that disagree greatly with things about our church. And one of them said to me, they said, "Pastor, keep preaching. You never know. I just feel like you love me so much, I think I might change. I just don't even know. I mean, I might change my mind."
I'm telling you what, when you wrap the truth in love, God can do so much more with it than you just going out there, "This is the truth! This is the right! The truth hurts! You know, take your truth and deal with it."
Let's wrap the truth in love. And so I will tell you this, the way you can wrap your truth in love and I think has helped me so many different ways is to pray for the people I disagree with. I will share this without divulging anymore on this, but the person this last week I had this issue with, I just stopped for a moment and prayed about something I saw in their life. I felt like what they had was bigger than our disagreement. And all of a sudden I felt my heart soften. I felt love deepen and my whole attitude change. Okay? It's asking marketing, asking God to take the truth that I have to deliver and wrap it up in love. And if you need to do that, I think you need to pray and let marketing wrap your life in love so you can present the truth to people so people can change.
So, Lord, I just pray right now you would help us to do that, to wrap the truth in love. Lord, there are people that we are going to disagree with. It could be money, it could be morals, it could be all sorts of different things. It could be faith that we disagree with. But we pray that as we deliver the truth that you have given to us, that we would do it and wrap it in love. May many of us spend more time with marketing and realize the message of truth needs to be delivered in the right way.
Jesus, you loved that man deeply, and yet that guy chose to walk away. But the Bible says you loved him deeply. And so I pray we would love deeply the people we disagree with and speak the truth in love. Help us in this day and age, Lord, to live that way. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen, amen.
