Peter and the Cross
March 22, 2015
(I dressed up as Peter in this first person monologue)
It was time for the Passover celebration. We knew something big was happening. Even though Passover is a huge celebration for us, we knew there was more going on, but we just didn’t get what it was.
There was the big parade on what is now called Palm Sunday. It was a great celebration, Jesus rode into town, people cheered and celebrated. We were, well, Jesus was the star, the Grand Marshal of the parade.
Then at the Passover, during the supper, Jesus got up and took off His outer robe, took a towel, got a basin of water and began to wash our feet. It was strange, bizarre. How could Jesus do this? No great teacher would ever do this. This was beneath Him. It didn’t make sense, but there was Jesus doing this. Yet, that was typical Jesus. He did exactly what we didn’t expect. He would talk and touch the sick, the lepers, the blind, the wicked, the Gentiles, and even the women. It didn’t matter to Him. We were all God’s children. He was our Creator, but we still didn’t get that!
So, He came to me and I looked at Jesus and I asked, 6 Lord, do you wash my feet?
And Jesus answered, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” I didn’t understand, that’s for sure.
So, I told Jesus, No way, “You shall never wash my feet!” How could I allow Him to do that to me. I was not shocked He wanted to, but you know what? I was more shocked and really angry that others were allowing Jesus to do this to them. How could they?
But Jesus answered me and put me in my spot. “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” WOW! Do you hear that? I would have no share with Jesus. He meant I would no longer have a part in His Kingdom. He was washing my feet to cleanse me for the journey ahead when He was gone. I needed this cleansing. I needed . . . I wanted Jesus to wash all of me. So I told Him, 9 “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”
I was always known as someone who was a little impetuous. Actually, I was quick to respond to any situation, most of the time the problem was that I acted but my brain didn’t join in until later. Have you ever been that way. You do what feels good only to you, and you end up hurting other people? It’s pretty easy to do. But part of living the life as a follower of Jesus is to place others before your wants. It’s not easy to do, but that’s what Jesus calls for. It’s part of the cost of following the Master.
Well, back to my story . . . After the supper Jesus made this pronouncement which really hurt. He said, 31 “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
32 But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.”
I looked at Jesus, and was furious at Him, how could He include me in that group. I could see a few of them running, but never me. So I said to Jesus, 33 “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.”
Jesus gave me that look and said, 34 “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
Who was He kidding? He was talking to Peter the Rock. No way. So I shot back, 35 “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” Then all the other disciples agreed with me. But what did He mean, before the rooster crows 3 times I would deny Him?
How could Jesus say that to me and to the whole group? We would never leave Him. He was our Teacher, our Master. I had already proclaimed Him to be the Son of God, our Messiah. Matthew wrote about it in Matthew 16. Jesus had a great smile when I said it, and He told me ‘on this rock He would build the church, and the gates of hell would never prevail.’
It was a great moment. I was so excited. And now He’s telling me I’m going to deny Him? I was ready to die with and for Him. I always had my knife ready for any attack on His life.
But, WOW! Jesus knew what was going to happen. We only partially understood that. It was so hard to fathom that He was God in the flesh. To hang out with Jesus was amazing. He had an answer for everything, but not in a way that made you feel bad. Actually, He tried to get us to figure things out for ourselves. But we were usually to blind to the bigger picture. It’s too easy to only see what we want to see, but that was what He was trying to teach us.
There’s a much bigger picture out there that we don’t always see. In fact, we do our best to avoid seeing it. We want to see only what we want. Now, I can get into lots of causes of why we do what we do, we can talk about narcissism and low self esteem which are two biggies, but I’m not going there.
So, Jesus wanted to pray. He was troubled. He was talking about how someone, one of us was going to betray Him. We weren’t sure who it was, we even wondered if it would be us. So, Jesus took James, John and myself to the Garden of Gethsemane. He prayed and prayed and told us to wait for Him. He wanted to go alone and talk to His Father. He went 3 times and each time He came back, He found us sleeping. UGH! Can you believe it? Our Master needed us and every time He would leave, we would sleep. Maybe this is what He meant when He said we would fall away.
Well, no sooner than did He finish and we met up as a group, then here comes Judas. Don’t get me started on him. I couldn’t figure that guy out. He seemed all in, but gave up on Jesus. Then again, I’ve come to realize there very well may be a little Judas in all of us. I realized there was in me, too.
Well the guards came with Judas and the servant of the high Priest, Caiaphas, comes up to Jesus. His name was Malchus, and I drew my sword and before He knew what hit him, I cut off his ear. Jesus was angry at me. He knew this was part of His Father’s plan. Again, we didn’t get it. But I was defending Jesus. I said I would die for Him. Was this the battle? Jesus simply took the ear, and put it right back on Malchus’ head and he was healed. Jesus always amazed me.
Jesus didn’t fight, and He was taken to the High Priest, Caiaphas. He was not an honorable man. He was out for himself and the other religious leaders. Because John knew Caiaphas, we followed at a distance and I went into the courtyard and stayed back there to watch what was happening. Something was happening within me. Suddenly, I was unwilling to walk in with Jesus and defend Him. As I stood in the courtyard, warming myself at the fire, 3 different people came up to me and asked me if I was a follower of Jesus.
It was so surreal. I didn’t get it. I denied Jesus! I denied Jesus! 3 times I denied Jesus! And Luke told you that when the rooster crowed, Jesus turned toward me and looked right at me. The look of rejection, the rooster. I was guilty.
How could I?! I did the unimaginable. I rejected my Lord. The One who would die for me, I rejected Him, even after saying I would stand with Him and fight for Him. Again, who was I thinking about? Me and only me.
That’s our issue, we think only about ourselves. I think I’ve said that already, but that was so true and still is so true for me. Everyday I’m learning and growing to become the person Jesus called me to be. But it’s a process. Everyday I need to let go of that old person within me and embrace the new person the Holy Spirit has planted within me. I wept and I wept!
All of the disciples ran! We didn’t know what to do. Jesus knew us too well. When it got tough we ran. How could we abandon our Lord like that? When it came to the cross, I was there, but it was at a distance. I wanted to blend in with the crowd. I was afraid. I was married and what would happen to my family if they killed me too.
Only John was up close, close enough that Jesus spoke to Him and told Him to take Mary as His mother. I should have been up there with John. I should have been supporting Jesus and His mother too. Some things we do in life, always stay with us. That’s one of my regrets. But the beauty is the fact that Jesus forgave me. I’ll get to that in a minute.
To watch the pain and agony Jesus was experiencing was excruciating for me. I couldn’t move. And before I knew it, it was over. Jesus breathed His last. After Jesus was placed into the tomb, we were in shock. Our leader, our Teacher was gone. This is not what we signed up for, yet, we were feeling like orphans. What do we do now? We stayed in our homes for a day, then we met on the first day of the week.
Mary came to us telling us Jesus was gone! Gone?! How could He be gone. Those stones weigh a ton. Nobody could move them. So, John and I took off running to the tomb. He beat me there. We were always competing and this was another example. He beat me there. But he stopped and didn’t go into the tomb. I think he was in shock. But you know me. Impetuous Peter. I charged right in! John followed me and we were amazed and what Jesus said, was made real in our hearts and spirits. He must rise from the dead! And He did! We were so excited but we didn’t know what to do. We went home and began to meet with the small group of believers.
Jesus then appeared to us while we were meeting. The doors were locked!! We were afraid the Jews would come after us.
And there was Jesus and He said, “Peace be with you!”
We were so happy, so excited! Jesus was back. Was it a bad dream? Was this a new reality? Nope and yes! This was our new reality, the resurrection of Jesus!
We would see Jesus in many places, even when we were fishing, there was Jesus. I dove into the water and swam to Him. We caught 153 fish without tearing the net and Jesus had a fire going for us to eat with Him. He taught us more and we learned more about His Kingdom.
Then, Jesus said to me, Peter, come with me and let’s talk. I was nervous but excited about what He was going to tell me. Where would my place in His kingdom be? But Jesus had three questions for me.
His question was very simple . . .
Do you love me?
He asked me three times. Every time I said Yes, Lord, you know I love you!
But did Jesus really know I loved Him. After all, He asked me three times because I denied Him 3 times in that courtyard. How do you know someone loves you, or even likes you after you’ve rejected them — after you’ve thrown them away like a dirty rag — you’ve stepped on them — and now Jesus wanted to know where my heart was.
My heart was with Him. He was offering me His amazing grace. So, Jesus told me to Feed His sheep. Jesus was the true Great Shepherd. I was now supposed to be one of His shepherds, kind of an under-shepherd. I was honored, I was grateful.
Well, my story continues, but I’m going to stop here! What I want you to learn from my story is pretty simple. I’m really a fisherman turned disciple and missionary for Jesus.
I’m still a little impetuous. It’s not always easy to change. But I’m really getting better. I’m learning. I’m learning because I’m allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me. I’m better understanding the words of Jesus.
What I want you to know is Jesus offers us the greatest gift. It’s the gift of life. It’s the greatest hope we can ever experience.
It’s AMAZING GRACE
HOPE
PEACE
POWER
COURAGE
LOVE
LIFE
His never ending presence. It’s all based on the fact that we accept a relationship with Jesus. But you have to be serious. This is not just a fun little session of saying, ‘well, it sounds good today and I want to impress others that I believe in Jesus.’
No! Understand what cost God the life of His Son is the ultimate price. It was costly to God. It cost God the life of His Son. What a price to pay for me to live eternally in this life and in the life to come. So, what cost God much, must cost us much.
It’s not a game. This is about life. Life here in this world and life in the world yet to come.
Now, that sounds really ominous for a fisherman to tell you about all this. And maybe it sounds a little scary. If that’s the case, that’s good. Because faith in Jesus is great, but it calls for sacrifice. It calls for commitment to Jesus. It calls for radical obedience. It calls for me to place your needs above my own. It calls for humility. It calls for forgiveness. So much is at stake here people of First Baptist Church.
My hope for you is that you choose Jesus. But make sure your heart is where your mouth is!
