I always like to go on record as saying, “I don’t believe in luck; I believe in providence.” And, as it turns out, by God’s providence, I have been very lucky in love! I am married to the woman of my dreams, the heart of my heart, and the love of my life. Jan is beautiful in body and soul. She is smart – a lot smarter than I am – clever, witty, creative, and fun. I am the luckiest man in the world.
And to tell you the truth, there’s no good reason for it. I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but she had to ask me out on our first date! I was smitten with her, no doubt about that, but I was the shiest guy in three counties. So, if we were ever going to get our relationship in motion, she w as the one that had to take the initiative.
I’m embarrassed to tell you that, but I am more embarrassed of the next thing I’m going to tell you. Since she had asked me out for our first date, I wasn’t nearly so nervous about asking her out for our second date. But here’s the thing: Not only was I shy; I was also cheap. And, when we went on the second date, I made her pay her own way! It’s a wonder she ever consented to marry me! That’s why I say I’m lucky in love. It’s only by the grace of God that I ever got a woman like Jan to be my bride!
Being married to Jan has taught me lot of things, and I’d like to share one of those things with you today. The Bible says, “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 Jn. 4:18). I used to wonder what that meant, but, after being married to Jan, I think I know. Here is what I think it means: Resolve who or what it is you love, and you will solve what you fear. Because I love Jan, a lot of things are settled for me. I know where I’m always going to be; I’m going to be where she is. I know who’s going to be with me; she is going to be with me. I know why I’m going to feel safe and happy and hopeful – no matter what life brings – because she makes me feel these things. Resolve who or what it is you love, and you will solve what you fear.
Think about how this works for you: Something is “disturbing the peace” in your life. It could be a decision you have to make, and you’re afraid to make a mistake. It could be a difficulty you face, and you’re afraid of what might happen. It could be a dilemma or a disturbance or some other type of distress, and the future seems uncertain. And you are caught in the grip of fear. You are unsettled.
And what does Jesus do? He speaks peace into the turbulence. Isn’t that what he does in verse 27? He says: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” Jesus settles our fears. He gives us peace. And his peace is not like the peace the world gives.
“What’s the difference?” you ask. “How is the peace Jesus gives different from the peace the world gives? And what does Jesus mean by ‘the world’?” Those are good questions, and I want to answer the second question first.
What does Jesus mean by “the world”? First of all, he doesn’t mean planet earth. And he doesn’t mean all the people on the planet – all seven billion, give or take. What he means is a mindset – a system of values, a worldview – that excludes God. It may be aggressive in ruling him out – by opposing him with its own agenda – or it may be more passive – by simply ignoring or neglecting him. But that’s what “the world” is. It is life without God. Futures are planned, decisions are made, steps are taken, attitudes are held, comfort is sought, life is lived – without any reference to God. That’s what Jesus means by “the world.”
Does this world offer peace? Yes, it does. Jesus acknowledges that. How does it make good on its offer? I’ll tell you. There are at least three ways: empty promises, distraction, and deception.
The world’s promises are empty because they can’t be fulfilled. For example, one of the things the world promises is happiness. Can the world keep that promise? For a time, perhaps. But go heavy on the “perhaps.”
Let me tell you something that I’ve noticed about myself. I’ve noticed that, when there’s something I really want, I convince myself that I have to have it. It becomes a necessity. If I only had that – whatever it is – it would make me happy. I’m so convinced of this that I will go to almost any lengths to secure the coveted prize – the priceless elixir, the brass ring, the magic bullet, the Holy Grail. And when I get it, am I happy? For a time, maybe, but then? Then I am bored with what I have, and I need something else to make me happy. And I find myself wanting it and telling myself the same thing. If only I had that, then! Then, I would be happy! This, of course, is a deception, but I believe it. And I allow myself to become distracted by the pursuit of it – or, if not it, then by the pursuit of the next thing that is it. And I can spend the whole course of my life seeking happiness and never finding it. And what’s ironic about it all is that this is exactly what I fear. I fear that I will never be happy.
And you know why that fear persists? Because I have set my affections on something that cannot reciprocate. Affection determines direction. Did you hear me? Affection determines direction. I chase what I love. And here’s the kicker: If I love what doesn’t – what can’t – love me back, then I have set my heart on something that has no more substance than thin air. It tells me it can love me back, and it tells me it does. But its promises are empty. There is no substance. And whatever happiness it provides, it doesn’t last. It is temporary. That’s the peace the world gives. That is the world’s answer to our fears. That is why Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
What is Jesus’ peace like? It is just the opposite. It doesn’t make empty promises. It doesn’t distract us from what is really going on. And it never deceives us. On the contrary, Jesus’ answer to our fears – his peace – is always reliable, always focused on reality, and always anchored in the truth. You know why?
Because his peace – his answer to your fears – comes in the form of a relationship – a relationship with the triune God. And God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – loves his people. Read this passage from John’s Gospel again, and what you will see is that Jesus gives you peace by giving you, first, the presence of the Holy Spirit, second, his own presence, and, third, the presence of the Father.
Look again at verse 16, where Jesus says, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate [read, “Helper”], to be with you forever.” Who is this Advocate? Who is this Helper? Jesus tells us in the very next verse: “This is the Spirit of truth.” And notice what he goes on to say. He says, “The world cannot receive [him].” Why not? “Because it neither sees him nor knows him.” No surprises there! Right? We’ve already seen that the world has no use for God. It knows nothing of God, because it excludes him – either by opposing him or by ignoring him. But look: Jesus says, “You know him.”
So Jesus’ answer to your fears is the presence of the Spirit in your life. It is also the promise of his presence and the Father’s. Look at verse 18. “I will not leave you orphaned,” he says; “I am coming to you.” That’s Jesus talking. He is saying that he is coming to you. And a little bit later on, in verse 23, Jesus says about his people, “My Father will love them, and” – now look at this – “we will come to them and make our home with them.” So you see, I hope, that Jesus’ answer to your fears is the presence of the triune God in your life. You can see all three Persons of the Holy Trinity in one verse – verse 26: “But the Helper [margin], the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you.” This settles all your fears. You know where you’re going to be. You’re going to be where God is. You know who’s going to be with you. God is going to be with you. And you know you’re going to be safe and happy and hopeful because God assures you of these things.
When the Holy Spirit comes to us, you know what he does? He gives us a new heart. He plants within us new affections. And what we love changes. Then, we love God. Then, we love the ways of God. That’s what Jesus means when he says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (v. 15). That’s what he means when he says, “They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me” (v. 21). That’s what he means when he says, “Those who love me will keep my word” (v. 23).
Why? Because what or whom you love settles everything. Remember what we said: Affection determines direction. You and I only have two options. We either love the world and the world’s ways, and that keeps us in a lifelong loop of looking for happiness by indulging ourselves – for fear that we won’t find it otherwise – that’s one option. Or we love God and his ways – his “commandments,” as Jesus calls them – and that frees us from fear because we know – in the depths of our heart we know – that he is the only dependable source of true happiness. Resolve who or what you love, and you will solve who or what you fear. Remember that.
What if you were to do this? What if you were to select one area of your life – home, office, shop, school, whatever – or one relationship – your relationship to your spouse, to a parent, to a child, or a friend, or a co-worker – some area or relationship in your life where there is a “disturbance of the peace,” so to speak, where you are unsettled…. What if you were to do that? In fact, I am going to ask you to do that. Think about that relationship or that situation, and consider this: What one thing can I do in this area of my life to demonstrate my love for Christ.
When you pour yourself into showing your love for him, what you will discover is: You need never fear being unhappy, unfulfilled, or unsettled again. You will know what you’re here for. You will know where you’re going. And you will know who goes with you. In fact, you will be confident that the triune God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – will be with you the whole distance. To put it another way: You will have peace. Because, you see, resolving what you love will solve what you fear.
