Let's Talk About...
Text: 1 Cor. 6:18-7:7
Introduction
1. Illustration: Bruce Wilkinson, author of Prayer of Jabez, said:
Sexual immorality is a threshold sin. On one side of the threshold is immorality and on the other is purity. On one side are guilt, lying, deceit, addiction, and shame, an on the other side are freedom, honesty, transparency, liberty, and a clear conscience. Believers who are in bondage to immorality find that unless they experience victory in this area, they cannot grow in holiness or serve the Lord with passion and power…" (Victory Over Temptation).
2. In looking at love and marriage we must talk about a fundamental concept when it comes to relationships - sex. However, we will look at it in a respectful, honest, and above all -Biblical way.
3. In looking at sex we must consider two sides of it...
a. A word for singles
b. A word for married couples
4. Let's stand together as we read from 1 Cor. 6:18-7:7
Proposition: The God given gift of sex is to be used in mutual respect as an expression of love to one another.
Transition: First let us look at this from a singles perspective.
I. A Word For The Single: Abstinence (18-20).
A. Temple Of The Holy Spirit
1. We live in a society that has lost any sense of morality, and especially when it comes to sex. Everywhere we look we are bombarded by sexual images and other forms of sexual temptation.
2. Therefore, it is essential that we heed Paul's command to "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."
a. Paul begins this section with "Run from sexual sin," and the verb tenses he uses carries with it the sense of "keep on running."
b. It brings to mind the account in Genesis of Joseph avoiding the sexual advances of Potiphar’s wife, where Joseph literally ran away from her.
c. There was so much sexual temptation in Corinth that this was the only option for Christians in dealing with sexual sin.
d. They had to put as much distance between themselves and the temptation to sin sexually.
e. The next phrase can be a little hard to understand. Although there are many opinions, the one that makes the most sense is that sexual sin has a deep spiritual effect on us.
f. As John Calvin said, "These other sins do not leave anything like the same filthy stain on our bodies as fornication does" (Palma, Full Life Bible Commentary, 835).
3. Then Paul shows us why we should run from sexual sin. He says, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
a. The question that Paul asks here has to do with the believers relationship with the Holy Spirit.
b. This is an extremely good reason to avoid sexual sin; we must not violate that which is a Temple of the Holy Spirit.
c. When we accept the Lord we become temples of the Holy Spirit, and if we do something that effects our spirit it also effects the Holy Spirit.
d. Then Paul brings out a very revolutionary idea...we don't belong to ourselves.
e. Now as Americans we are led to believe that we are our own person.
f. However, Paul says that when we come to Christ we belong to him!
g. The reason we don't belong to ourselves is that Christ paid the price for our sins and therefore, we belong to him.
h. So Paul concludes that we should "honor God with our bodies," and does so in a way that shows a sense of urgency.
i. We should not do it tomorrow or the next day, but we should do it now (Palma, 835).
B. Avoiding Temptation
1. Illustration: The magazine "Discipleship Journal" asked its readers to rank the areas of greatest spiritual challenge to them. The results came back in this order: (the top 5 were)
1. Materialism
2. Pride
3. Self-centeredness
4. Laziness
5. (Tie) Anger/Bitterness and Sexual lust
The respondents also noted that temptations were more potent when they had neglected their time with God (81%) and when they were physically tired (57%)."
The readers stated that they had found that the greatest assets in resisting temptation to be "prayer (84%), avoiding compromising situations (76%), Bible study (66%), and being accountable to someone else (52%).
2. The gift of sex is intended only within the context of marriage.
a. Ephesians 5:3 (NLT)
Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.
b. We live in a society that worships sex and lives by the motto of "if it feels good do it!"
c. It tells us to throw off any limitations, rules, and restraints.
d. It encourages us to believe the lie that everyone is doing and therefore it is okay.
e. However, God's word tells us that sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage between a man and a woman...no exceptions!
f. His word tells us that we are to show self-control and to save ourselves for that person that He has created us to be with in marriage.
Transition: Now let us look a sex from a married person's point of view.
II. A Word For Married Couples: Respect (1-7).
A. Because There Is So Much Sexual Immorality
1. This portion of Paul's letter is addressing questions posed to him by the Corinthians. So he begins, "Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life."
a. Paul was fighting a number of issues here. There was a contingent among the Corinthians who said it didn't matter what you did with your body, in other words, if it feels good do it.
b. On the other hand, he had those who taught our bodies are inherently evil and we should avoid any type of physical pleasure.
c. They thought of themselves as so spiritual that they were above such things. As such there were some women in the church who were denying their husbands of sex, and as a result the husbands were seeking satisfaction elsewhere.
d. The phrase "celibate life" is literally in the Greek "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."
e. This was an Old Testament figure of speech for sexual relations. Now Paul does not disagree completely with the idea of remaining celibate because both here and in verse 7 he indicates that celibacy was a good thing.
f. However, he also says that celibacy is a gift and not everyone has that gift.
g. Believe it or not, your Pastor at one time considered becoming a monk!
h. The literature I had read on the topic said that you spent your time praying, studying and serving others. Sounds good so far, but then it said that you had to be celibate and that troubled me.
i. So I spoke to a wise Christian man who told me that celibacy was a gift, but if you still had the itch you didn't have the gift.
j. I knew that I had the itch, and therefore, didn't have the gift. Problem solved, so I didn't become a monk.
2. Paul was a realist and knew that not everyone was meant to be celibate. So he says, "But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband."
a. Here Paul indicates that since sexual temptation is so prevalent that people without the gift of celibacy should get married.
b. He is indicating that marriage is a deterrent to sexual misbehavior.
c. We should also notice that Paul stresses monogamy because he says, "each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband."
3. Now Paul describes the responsibility that married couples have towards one another. He says, "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs."
a. Since Paul has already indicated that one reason for marriage is to avoid sexual temptation, husbands and wives are to fulfill one another's sexual needs.
b. The verb tenses here suggests that this is to be a continuing pattern of behavior.
c. The emphasis is on giving yourself to your spouse, not upon receiving something or demanding one's rights from the other.
d. Within marriage the husband has the primary responsibility to seek to satisfy his wife sexually.
e. The wife also should respond. Paul does not look at sexual relations as only for procreation.
f. They are an obligation within marriage, but both husband and wife should consider each other to come to a mutual agreement about the how and when.
g. Because in God's plan they are to be united as one flesh, each possesses the other's body.
h. Neither is to think solely of his or her own pleasure or desires. Each should be concerned about satisfying the normal, God-given sexual desires of the other (Horton, 68).
4. Paul then takes it a step further when he says, "The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife."
a. A person’s body belongs to God when that person becomes a Christian. Physically, their bodies belong to their spouses.
b. God designed marriage so that through the union of husband and wife two become one. The sexual relationship makes two people “one flesh."
c. The unity given to the married couple through their sexual relationship makes them no longer independent beings; they have become “one flesh.”
d. So Paul said to these married believers that sex is not immoral because God created it; therefore, they should not deprive their spouse (Barton, Life Application New Testament Commentary, 667).
5. Here is the key to sexual intimacy - mutual concern and respect. Paul says, "Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
a. Consequently, married couples should not purposely deprive one another of sexual fulfillment.
b. The word translated deprive refers to the act of robbery achieved through deception or fraud.
c. For example, to refuse to pay money that was owed or to ignore a debt was to deprive others of their property through deceit (The Complete Biblical Library Greek-English Dictionary – Alpha-Gamma).
d. So what Paul is really saying here is that when we deprive one another sexually we are robbing our spouse of something that belongs to them.
e. However, Paul does say that there is one circumstance were stopping sexual relations is acceptable, but that there are certain stipulations even then.
f. First, it must be by mutual agreement so that the couple can devote themselves to prayer. In a way this is kind of like fasting.
g. Second, it is to be for a limited time frame so that the temptation won't become too strong.
B. Mutual Respect and Consideration
1. Illustration: I read an account of a man named James Matlock. (He has nothing to do with the old Matlock TV series starring Andy Griffith!) James Matlock was a Puritan who lived in New England in the 17th century. Apparently he was placed under church discipline. And the reason was because he wasn’t having sex with his wife. His wife complained to the church elders that her husband wasn’t fulfilling his marital duty to her. They investigated the matter and then excommunicated Matlock. And they told him he would remain under church discipline until he began satisfying his wife’s sexual needs. And most people think the Puritans were prudish and anti-sex! Not at all! They were very biblical in their approach to practical areas of the Christian life.
2. Meeting one another's sexual needs in marriage has to do with love and mutual respect.
a. Philippians 2:2-4 (NLT)
Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
b. There is no doubt that sexual temptation is everywhere today, and Paul makes it clear that one deterrent to sexual temptation is consistent physical intimacy between a husband and wife.
c. The marriage relationship has at its core a need for physical union - the two shall become one flesh.
d. When we deny that intimacy to our spouse we have going against what God has designed and planned for each other.
e. It has to do with love for one another. If we truly love one another we will want to meet each other physical needs.
f. It has to do with mutual respect and a concern for the needs of our spouse.
Transition: Love is patient and kind.
Conclusion
1. In looking at love and marriage we must talk about a fundamental concept when it comes to relationships - sex. However, we will look at it in a respectful, honest, and above all -Biblical way.
2. In looking at sex we must consider two sides of it...
a. A word for singles
b. A word for married couples
3. If you are single, wait for it because it's worth it and so are you.
4. If you are married, take care of the needs of one another for that is what love is all about.
