Series: Resolutions Worth Keeping
Title: Purity in a Sensual Culture
Text: Ephesians 5:1-5, 8-12, 15-16
Truth: Resolve to choose a life of purity by imitating God in love, light, and wisdom.
Aim: To choose to imitate God by living a life of purity.
INTRODUCTION
The owner of a plant that manufactured soap for washroom dispensers was sitting next to a minister at a civic club luncheon. “The gospel you preach hasn’t done much good, Reverend,” he said cynically, “There’s still lots of wickedness around.” The minister smiled. “And I’ve observed that soap hasn’t done much good in the world. I still see a lot of dirty people around.” Not to be outdone, the business man said, “Well, that’s because soap isn’t useful unless it’s applied.” “Exactly,” agreed the minister, “and that’s the way it is with the gospel I preach.”
In Ephesians 5 Paul is urging Christians to apply the Gospel. Ephesians describes God’s purpose of creating a new society through a new people, the believers in Christ. Chapters 1-3 are the theological or doctrinal section. He describes the spiritual blessings Christians receive in Christ: We get a new life; we are different people than before. Chapters 4-6 are the practical applications which show how this new life transforms the everyday life of a believer.
The world of the Greeks and Romans was as sexually permissive as the world of today—perhaps more so. Cicero, the Roman philosopher, admitted one could argue that a young man should not visit prostitutes, but he pointed out that the act was lawful and had always been so. He further argued that young men had always behaved in this manner and such sexual freedom was accepted. Paul’s converts in Asia were coming out of that context and had no example of Christian living to follow until he and his companions brought them the Gospel. The people lived in a very immoral, impure, sensual culture. So Paul had to explain to the new Christians how to live the Christian life.
In the summer of 2007 a survey was taken among evangelical ministry professionals on the subject of sexual addiction. The survey was offered at the end of an article on teaching about sex from the pulpit by Ted Roberts. The survey was written by renowned sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes. A total of 283 people took the assessment. Sexual addiction behavior was characterized as sexual behavior that a person cannot control, that produces shame, and that the person continues even when confronted with negative consequences. On the Carnes scale a rating of 13 signifies a person has a sexual addiction. The average score for those who took the survey was 13.05. That means the average respondent has a problem.
Ted Roberts said he was not surprised by the results. He said, “When I speak at churches and conferences [on the subject], it’s just a given that 60 to 90 percent of the men will acknowledge they’re losing the battle.” What concerns Roberts the most is that 12- to 17-year-olds are the biggest consumers of pornography in the United States, indicating that the next generation of spiritual leaders is in need of help.
What may be the most surprising statistic came from women. There were 60 women who took the survey. Their average score was 17.92, nearly six points higher than the average man. Women’s relationships are much more profoundly affected by their sexual addiction than men’s. According to Roberts, 40 percent of women on the internet are involved in cyber sex behavior. He said, “The church is behind the times in thinking this is a guy’s problem. It’s destroying our children. It’s eating women alive now. And men are barely breathing.”
One of the stewardships from God is the use of our bodies. Like the Ephesians, we live in a very sensual culture. I am not so naïve to think this is not a problem with some of the members of our church. As your pastor I want to help you. Here is what I offer: I will teach you what the Bible says about purity; I will help you find a program or counselor that will assist you in breaking your faulty thinking and impure behavior. But you must resolve to choose a life of purity by imitating God in love, light, and wisdom. This is what Paul called the Ephesians to do.
First, resolve to choose a life of purity by imitating God in love.
I. RESOLVE TO CHOOSE A LIFE OF PURITY BY IMITATING GOD IN LOVE (EPH. 5:1-5)
(1) Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. (2) And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. (3) But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints. (4) And coarse and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks. (5) For know and recognize this: no sexually immoral or impure or greedy person, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of the Messiah and of God.
Just like children copy their parents, Christians are to copy the morality of their heavenly Father. The word “imitators” provides the root for our word mimic. It means “to trace a pattern.” We are to follow Christ’s pattern of living.
The motivation for us to forsake the sins of a sensual society and follow God’s way of life is because of how much we are loved by Christ. We are His dearly loved children. There are things you do and do not do because it would hurt someone who loves you.
The word “walk” refers to our lifestyle, the habit of our behavior. The word is written in a tense which describes continual action. The ruling and guiding principle for the way we conduct our lives is the sacrificial, selfless way Jesus loved us. How do we know Jesus loved us selflessly? He surrendered Himself for us. Jesus did not merely die for our benefit; He died for us. He died instead of us. He did this willingly. He chose to honor the Father and put us before Himself.
Paul compared Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to the Old Testament “fragrant offerings” presented on the altar (Leviticus 1-3). The burnt offering was totally consumed on the altar. It pictured complete devotion to God. The meal or grain offering showed the worshiper’s thankfulness for God’s generous grace. The fellowship or peace offering pointed to the peace that came by experiencing God’s love. As the fumes ascended from the fire toward heaven, these sacrifices pleased God and He accepted the person who offered them. God was pleased by Christ’s offering because it fulfilled His plan to provide salvation for all who would receive Christ. God is pleased with His children when they love others sacrificially like Christ loved us.
Then without warning Paul yanks us in the opposite direction: “(3) But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for saints.” We go from the most beautiful example of self-sacrifice to unmitigated self-indulgence. These words cover every kind of illicit sexual activity. Any sexual intercourse outside of the boundaries of a heterosexual marriage is immoral. Our culture may be indifferent to immoral sexual behavior, but God is not. “Impurity” refers to unclean thoughts, ideas, fantasies, and any other form of sexual corruption. So with these two words Paul covered the full range of sexual sins Christians must avoid.
Katy Perry, the popular singer, has a song that says, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” The song promotes lesbianism. Perry has “Jesus” tattooed on her wrist and her parents are co-pastors of a church. In an interview, she said her gifts of singing are from God and the tattoo reminds her of her upbringing. Maybe Katy Perry is a real Christian. Maybe she is deluded about being a Christian. But I can tell you this: how one handles one’s sexuality reveals the content of one’s faith. Either we will be driven to true holiness or the shallowness or emptiness of our profession will be revealed in the area of sexuality. The doctrine of eternal security does not teach that you can accept Christ with one hand and hold onto a sinful life with the other hand.
“Greed” may seem out of place but it may be referring to the last of the Ten Commandments where it says a man is not to covet another man’s wife. Greed is also an expression of selfishness.
Christians are to completely avoid this kind of self-indulgence. They are to be so banished from the Christian community that we avoid thinking about them and talking about them. Instead of our talk being dirty and cheap it is to be beautiful and uplifting. Thanksgiving by its nature is not centered on us but centered on others and God. What is the antidote for a dirty mind and vulgar speech? It is giving thanks to God for His gifts. When we joke about sex we are bound to cheapen and disrespect it. But being thankful is a way to preserve the worth of the person or the gift of sex from God.
Paul says there is no uncertainty that people who are immoral will be judged. They may escape detection or conviction or punishment in this world but they will not escape it forever. Paul is not talking about people who have an occasional thought or deed but someone who has given himself up to this way of life. Their lust is an idolatrous obsession. That person will not be in God’s perfect kingdom.
One reason to resolve to live a life of purity is the example of Jesus putting our needs before His. We are to imitate His love for others. What does that look like? Christ’s love leads us to protect the other person’s purity, character, and reputation, rather than gratify our own lust. Our speech will be wholesome instead of vulgar and degrading. What would have to be cleaned up if you loved others like Christ loved you?
Kurtis, the stock boy at a supermarket, was busy working when a new voice came over the intercom asking for a carry out at register number four. Wanting some fresh air, Kurtis answered the call. That was his first glimpse of the new check-out girl; it was love at first sight. She was beautiful! She was also older, maybe 26, and he was only 22, but he did not care.
Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the time clock to find out her name. She came into the break room and smiled as she took her card, punched out, and left. He looked at her card and red “BRENDA.” Going out, he saw her walking up the road.
The next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When Kurtis dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. Brenda simply said it was not possible, explaining that she had two children and could not afford a babysitter. So he offered to pay for the babysitter. Reluctantly, she finally accepted his offer of a date the following Saturday.
That Saturday night Kurtis was at her door only to have Brenda tell him that she was unable to go. The babysitter had called and cancelled, to which Kurtis simply said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.” She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again refusing to take “No” for an answer, he pressed her. Finally, Brenda brought him inside to meet her children.
She had an older daughter who, Kurtis thought, was just as cute as a bug’s ear. Then Brenda brought out her son in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Downs Syndrome. Kurtis told her, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us.” Brenda was amazed. Most men would have run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities, just like her husband had done.
They loaded up the kids and went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything, Kurtis took care of him. When he needed to use the rest room, Kurtis picked him up, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. And by the end of the evening, Brenda knew Kurtis was the man for her. A year later, they were married, and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then they have added two more.
Whatever happened to the stock boy and the check-out girl? Well, Kurt and Brenda Warner moved to St. Louis, where he became the starting quarterback for the St. Louis Rams professional football team. In 1999 he led that team to its only Super Bowl victory (Sermon Central). In 2008 he guided the Arizona Cardinals to the Super Bowl. He has won the MVP twice. They are open followers of Jesus Christ.
If a woman is not his wife and a man asks her to lay her purity on the altar of his lust, he may say he loves her and has affection for her, but fundamentally it is lust not love. True love wants to protect and honor. If a woman indulges her fantasy with pornography or sleazy books and movies like 50 Shades of Gray she is not putting Christ first but her own sinful desires. To resolve to be pure means you imitate God in love.
Second, resolve to choose a life of purity by imitating God in love and light.
II. RESOLVE TO CHOOSE A LIFE OF PURITY BY IMITATING GOD IN LIGHT (EPH. 5:8-12)
(8) For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light— (9) for the fruit of the light results in all goodness, righteousness, and truth— (10) discerning what is pleasing to the Lord. (11) Don't participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead, expose them. (12) For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret.
The New Testament uses dramatic pictures to make clear the distinction between what you were before you became a Christian and what you are after you became a Christian. Before Christ you were dead in trespasses and sins; after Christ you have new life. Before Christ you were an enemy of God; after Christ you are the child of God. Before Christ you were lost; after Christ you are found. But one of the favorite pictures used by the New Testament to make this distinction between life before Christ and life after Christ is light and darkness. Light and darkness cannot coexist. If you are in the light you cannot continue in a life of darkness. Therefore, says Paul, continually pursue to live a life reflecting that you are in the light.
What does Paul mean by the words “light” and “darkness?” “Light” represents goodness, righteousness, and truth. Fruit reveals the nature and is the result of the nature. An apple reveals that the tree is an apple tree; it is the result of that nature. As a believer seeks to imitate God the outcome will be increasing goodness. The word describes moral behavior combined with helpful generosity. Good people are moral and helpful. “Righteousness” describes our accepted standing before God but also right conduct according to the Bible. “Truth” speaks of honesty, reliability, and integrity in word and deed. “Discernment” means to test something and prove that it is true or the best. As a Christian matures in morality, helpfulness, right conduct, and honesty, he tests and proves that this is the better way to live. He sees that this way of life pleases God.
The outcome of living this way is not an oppressive, dutiful life. It is a joyful investment of your life in pursuing the imitation of God. Of course you want a happy, fulfilled life. Here is the answer: seek to live to please God rather than yourself; that is the secret to joyful, satisfied living; in a word, “holiness.”
To live in the light means adopting a certain attitude toward the darkness. In the light, you will not seek the unfruitful works of darkness. If light produces goodness, righteousness, and truth, then darkness speaks of evil, error, and ignorance. There is no benefit from living a life of darkness. In the end all you get is heartache and hurt. If your attitude is in the light, you will not participate in the ways of darkness.
Positively, your life of light will expose the darkness for the destructive, God-dishonoring life that it is. You may not wish to do this but this is what light does. Besides, evil deserves to be exposed and unmasked. As you live a moral, ethical life you will expose people’s immoral and unethical behavior and beliefs; that cannot be helped.
Do you know the Conoco across from Braum’s and McDonald’s at the corner of Porter and Robinson? For the longest time I have bought gas at that convenience store, but I never go inside. The other day I was thirsty and after buying gas I went inside to get a drink. You could have knocked me down when I entered the store. Out front was a display of pornographic magazines. I went to the young man working behind the counter and asked if he would give the owner a message for me. I asked him to tell the owner that I have bought a lot of gas at his business but I did not know that he sold pornography. As a result, I will not buy any more gas at his store as long as he sells pornography. I was polite; I would not have gained anything by being hateful with the young man.
Three of my daughters and their husbands live in this community. Seven of my ten grandchildren live here. This business owner’s decision to sell pornography cheapens and degrades my community. Because of the horrible effects of pornography it puts my family at risk. When we live pure lives we will expose the darkness. We need to speak out against the evil in our community.
After more than 30 years of distinguished public service as a firefighter, Atlanta’s Fire and Rescue Chief, Kelvin Cochran was fired for his religious beliefs by Atlanta Mayer Kasim Reed. Chief Cochran was fired because of a book that he self-published for a men’s Bible study at his church even though he had gained permission from the city’s ethic’s department. The reason he was fired? One page in the 160-page book discussed sexual immorality, including homosexuality, which the mayor called discriminatory.
Chief Cochran said, “I am heartbroken that I will no longer be able to serve the city and the people I love as fire chief, for no reason other than my Christian faith. It’s ironic that the city points to tolerance and inclusion as part of its reasoning. What could be more intolerant and exclusionary than ending a public servant’s 30 years of distinguished service for his religious beliefs? The most baffling thing is that I had permission to write my book and I was exonerated of discriminating against anyone.
“This happened to me,” the Chief continued, “but it’s really not about me. It’s a warning to every American that freedom of speech and freedom of religion are hanging by a thread, which will snap if we don’t fight to preserve these cherished protections.”
The fire chief’s life of purity exposed the darkness in the heart of others and he was fired for it. Your commitment to live a devoted Christian life is like light that reveals the dangers hidden in a life of darkness. One of the stewardships God has given you is to influence your world for purity. You do that by resolving to imitate God in pursuing a life of light.
Lastly, resolve to choose a life of purity by imitating God in love, light, and in wisdom.
III. RESOLVE TO LIVE A LIFE OF PURITY BY IMITATING GOD IN WISDOM (EPH. 5:15-16)
(15) Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise— (16) making the most of the time, because the days are evil.
Wisdom is the skill to live life according to God’s plan. God’s wisdom is practical; it teaches us how to behave. You make decisions that agree with God’s will. For example, you decide to forgive rather than have malice, you pick love over hatred, and purity over immorality. Wise choices reflect God’s will and character. This is imitating God and it leads to purity.
If something is important to us, we are careful with it. I have a Bible that I have used for thirty years. The margins are filled with notes from my study of the Bible. It is very valuable to me: I do not toss it around, I do not leave it in the back window of the car to be baked. And I have only lost it once. I am careful with it. I am sure you have something like that that you are not casual with. A Christian is wise if he makes an extra effort to be attentive and care for his Christian walk. The tense of the phrase “Pay careful attention” describes doing something continuously. Regularly the wise evaluate the choices they make with their lives. This is being a good steward of the life God gave you. It is not wise to dismiss one’s erratic Bible study, prayer, and church attendance; do not treat them lightly.
There are two words in the language of the New Testament that are translated time. One word is chronos. We get our word “chronology” from it. It describes time on the calendar or clock. The second word is kairos. It refers to “opportunity.” The Greeks represented opportunity in a sculpture of a youth with wings on his feet and back. He had a long strand of hair on the front of his scalp but was bald on the back of his head. It conveyed the fleetingness of opportunity; if you miss the moment to grab a strand of hair, you do not get another chance. Once the opportunity is lost, it is always lost. Make the most of this moment to respond to God.
We need God’s wisdom to make the right choices, but another reason for wisdom in order to live a life of purity is because the days are evil. Paul means the prevailing opinions and practices of today are contrary to the will of God. In Paul’s day the Greeks and Romans expected teenage boys to be sexually active, homosexuality was an acceptable alternative lifestyle, they did not give a second thought to killing unwanted babies, divorce was rampant, and the people lived for material gain. Sound like anything you know?
For many of us the name Erma Bombeck is associated with good, clean humor. She wrote over 4,000 newspaper articles and 15 books. Most of her books became bestsellers. Erma wrote from the perspective of a suburban housewife. In an unusual serious tone she wrote about our blindness to recognize the wise choice. She wrote:
When I was young, Mama was going to read me a story and I was going to turn the pages and pretend I could read. But she had to wax the bathroom and there wasn’t time.
When I was young, Daddy was going to come to school and watch me in a play. I was the fourth Wise Man (in case one of the three got sick), but he was having his car tuned and there was no time.
When I was young, Grandma and Granddad were going to come for Christmas to see the expression on my face when I got my first bike, but Grandma didn’t know who she could get to feed the dogs and Granddad didn’t like the cold weather and, besides, they didn’t have the time.
When I was older, the whole family was always going to pose together for our Christmas card. But my brother had ball practice, my sister had her hair up, Dad was watching the Colts and Mom had to mop the kitchen. There wasn’t time.
When I grew up and left home to be married, I was going to sit down with Mom and Dad and tell them I loved them and would miss them. But Hank (he was our best man and a real clown) was honking the horn in front of the house, so there wasn’t time.
CONCLUSION
This morning you are being invited by the Spirit of God to a new way of life for 2015; it is the kind of life that any straight thinking person really wants. This new life of blessing involves passionately, actively pursuing the imitation of God. A life of purity involves loving like Jesus. Instead of selfishness, we choose selflessness. Purity involves avoiding deeds of darkness so we can walk in the light. Purity requires making decisions which please God instead of being shaped by the world’s views. No matter what you have done, you can be pure. There is hope.
1. Lucien Coleman, Bible Book Lesson Plan, 11/6/1994.
2. LifeWay S.S. Bible Book study for Adults, 11/6/1994, p. 55.
3. LifeWay S.S. LifeMatters, Winter 2011-2012, p. 76.
4. News.sbts.edu/2009/02/26/sbts-chapel-live-blog-i-kissed-a-girl-and-liked-it-hershael-york.
5.The Bible Speaks Today: The Message of Ephesians, John Stott, p. 200.
6. Alert (email letter), Tony Perkins, 1/9/2015.
7. Newsday, Nov. 17, 1971.
