Family Feud Genesis 37: 1-4 and 12-28
I love a good Bible story, and when looking at the three scripture readings for today I could not resist going with the Old Testament story of Joseph. Perhaps most of you had the story of Joseph and The Coat of Many Colors read to you by your parents or grandparents when you were a small child. But today we are going to examine the text from the viewpoint of Joseph’s family situation and look at the background and more of the characters to see if we can learn from their mistakes.
The term “dysfunctional” is used quite often in today’s society to describe families with problems. My mother used to say that if everyone hung their problems out on a line to be seen and chosen, you would run like heck to get your own! We can certainly sympathize with the pain and suffering in Joseph’s family. It was such a dysfunctional group you couldn’t even make a television soap opera or sitcom out of it today. It just wouldn’t be believable.
Let’s begin by looking back at Joseph’s father, Jacob. Remember Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, but was tricked by her father into marrying her sister, Leah. So he waited seven more years working for this evil father-in-law and married Rachel. Then when child-bearing became a problem for Rachel she gave Jacob her maid to bear children for her. When Leah was afraid of being outnumbered by Rachel’s children then she gave her maid to Jacob, too. So Joseph was raised in an angry jealous household with four insecure unhappy women! Imagine the turmoil in this family. Joseph grew up with ten step brothers and a step sister and then lost his mom when she died while giving birth to his baby brother Benjamin (and it is supposed he heard her screams in the tent that night as she was dying.) Knowing what we know today about child psychology, think of the pain he must have carried within himself as a small boy.
Jacob was certainly no model father. Looking in other chapters of Genesis you will see that his daughter, Dinah was raped and he did nothing. (Gen 34:1-2) His sons avenged her rape by killing all the men in the city where it happened and he worried only about how badly this would affect public relations with the rest of the people around there, instead of being concerned with the fact that his sons had murdered innocent people, too. Later his oldest son, Reuben had an incestuous affair with Jacob’s concubine, Bilhah (Gen 35:21) and at the time Jacob did nothing, but on his deathbed he said he would take away Reuben’s birthright because of this incident and give it to Joseph instead. (Deathbed vindictiveness shows a bitter life of unforgiveness) But this is the kind of father whom God chose to be the father of the Jewish nation! You see, perfection is not a requirement to be used of God.
Jacob’s partiality toward Joseph was just repeating the same sort of partiality he had been shown by his own mother. (Remember Jacob was Rebekah’s favorite son and Esau was his father’s favorite.) We call these generational sins, because they continue through succeeding generations down a family line and they wreak havoc if they are not somehow stopped by the grace of God.
For seventeen years as he grew up, Joseph’s brothers had all watched their father’s favoritism. The scripture we read today said it was because he was a son born to him in his old age, (and to his favorite wife), I might add. Joseph represented a piece of Rachel left for Jacob to love and cling to. So this is Jacob’s excuse for his part in the family feud. This is where we enter the story today.
Jacob has dramatically shown his special love for Joseph by making him the famous coat of many colors. It was a long-sleeved long robe all the way down to the floor with very ornate trim. (One commentator said this made it obvious that Jacob did not intend for Joseph to do any manual labor.) Joseph was brought up to believe he was destined for greatness and leadership. His brothers had the short, sleeveless version of shepherd’s garb so they could chase sheep and scamper up hillsides and get dirty, but, not Joseph. In fact when he wore his robe to go to check on his brothers it was sort of “like wearing a tuxedo to mow the lawn.” It was hardly appropriate, but we don’t know whether he wore it out of pride or just to please his father. Maybe it was a little of both.
Joseph certainly comes across as being a naïve young lad. He obeyed his father and tried to warn his brothers not to behave the way they did sometimes. He finally tattled on them and when they saw him coming now in that coat they were reminded of the discrimination and the sharp contrast between their lives and his and they hated him. Verse 4 says “they could not speak a kind word to him.”
When family members cannot even be civil to one another, this is a real problem. And it just got worse.
In the part of the text we didn’t read from verse 5 to 11, Joseph dreamed two dreams which seemed to suggest he would rise to a position of authority. Stupidly, he told these dreams to his brothers and father. The brothers hated him even more for suggesting he might get ahead of them in life, and his father dismissed it as not possible. (Not everything God tells you is necessary for you to tell someone else. You might be wise to keep some of your dreams to yourself.) Joseph is certainly responsible for escalating the family feud When he came looking for his brothers in the fields, they referred to him with a derisive nickname as “that dreamer,” and plotted to kill him. They figured they could end his big dreams. They wanted to be finished with him once and for all. This is sibling rivalry to the “nth” degree! Here we see what Jesus meant when he said if you hate it is like murder, because it produces such inner turmoil and growing rage that it can get totally out of control.
Their plan is to throw him into a nearby cistern. Notice that they plan to lie about their deed, too. They are going to tell Jacob that a wild animal must have eaten him. Now we see one brother who seems to have a little conscience or at least misgivings about allowing his own brother to slowly starve to death. Reuben had planned to double back at a later time and let Joseph escape. Well this is a strange advocate since Reuben was Leah’s son, and there was certainly plenty of animosity between his mother and Joseph’s. Perhaps the boys had bonded regardless of their mother’s jealousy. The text says the cistern was dry. That means Joseph wouldn’t drown but he also wouldn’t be able to have any water to drink either. With this fact in mind notice how the next verse says that the others sat down to eat their meal. How much more callous and cold-hearted can they get? This is clearly a blended family that didn’t blend.
When the caravan of Ishmaelites comes by, it is Judah this time who speaks up. It appears he is being merciful, too, but look at how he begins by asking, “What will we gain…? He says, “Let’s sell him….after all, he is our own flesh and blood.” Now is Judah compassionate? (Or crafty and greedy?) He is willing to sell his brother for a mere 20 shekels of silver. Have you ever heard that Joseph represents an Old Testament figure of Christ? Well, then, who do you think Judah represents? None other than Judas who was willing to sell his friend and brother, Christ, for 30 shekels of silver. You see human nature doesn’t change much over the centuries. There will always be dysfunctional families and stories of jealousy, greed, and murder among our own flesh and blood. But through God’s mercy human nature can take on more of the nature of God. Jesus himself descended in human form through the tribe of this brother,Judah.
Well, one moment Joseph is prancing in a coat and the next moment he is pitifully languishing in a pit.
I couldn’t leave the story at this point even though our scripture reading does, so let’s skip ahead and see how it ends. Can you hang on to hear more?
Joseph is transported to Egypt by the Ishmaelites to whom he was sold and then he is sold again to Potiphar a captain of the Pharaoh’s guard. There another coat gets him into trouble! Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce him and grabs him by the coat and he runs away. (Isn’t it a shame that our own leaders today don’t have the integrity to run away when a woman tries to seduce them?) Potiphar’s wife produces the coat as evidence and lies to her husband that Joseph was with her. (Remember, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.)
So from the pit he goes to prison. It’s not looking good for the boy who had every advantage and was such a beloved son. Sometimes we get ourselves into a pit and sometimes the actions of others puts us there. The pit was his brother’s fault and a little bit of his own because he was vain and a tattletale, but being sent to prison was Mrs. Potiphar’s fault. Joseph had matured into a fine young man and had taken on the responsibility for running her whole household. His growing maturity and integrity had made him able to withstand her sexual advances and temptation and now he suffered as an innocent lad in jail. I don’t imagine Joseph felt that anybody, including God, loved him very much right now.
Joseph had been shown a dream about the end of his life, but not the middle. How could he know that God was keeping him safe until the big plan for his life could be prepared?
For Joseph to go from being a spoiled brat to a great leader he had to go through what his doting parents would never have chosen for him: adversity, hardship, and affliction. In fact it was a good thing that Jacob thought Joseph was dead or he surely would have tracked him down in Egypt and brought him safely back home. His Heavenly Father knew though, and he was moving Joseph to the exact place He wanted him.
God may have been hiding but he was still guiding. Chapter 39 verses 21 says: “But the Lord was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.”
So even in prison Joseph stood out as different from the rest. And when he is finally brought to Pharaoh to interpret his dream, Joseph moves to the palace.
Guess what is the first thing he gets there? A new coat! (I almost titled this sermon, “It takes three coats.”)
Really, look it up in Genesis chapter 41 verse 42. He got a fine linen coat and some serious bling, too,… a gold signet ring and a gold chain. He became the number two man in Egypt and rode beside the Pharaoh in a chariot and people shouted, “Make way” when he came down the road. And he was given a wife…. (You know there is a princess in every happily ever after story!) But there’s more. The tables turn now and Joseph is thriving and his brothers are striving.
When the famine hits the homeland and his father and brothers are in danger of starving to death, Joseph is in a unique position to offer them food from the storage in Egypt. It is a tender story continuing from chapters 42 to 46 and is full of twists and turns as Joseph has a little fun at his brother’s expense before giving in and telling them who he is and asking them to bring his father to see him.
(That is the scripture reading for next week so I won’t read it today.) But Joseph sees the big picture then. He says what Satan meant for evil, God planned for good and they should not be angry with themselves for selling him because it was to save lives that God sent him to Egypt. Look at Joseph’s attitude. He is not saying poor me, but rather, Praise God. He didn’t let the pain in the pit of his past prevent him from moving forward and forgiving in the future.
What seemed at the time to be cruel strokes of fate had brought his life to its fulfillment. Now Joseph will provide for the whole family and all their children and grandchildren and flocks.
You see Joseph couldn’t change the facts of his situation and he couldn’t change his family, but through the grace of God he was changed himself. He was tested by difficulty and disaster, but it didn’t destroy him. He grew stronger. He was not only a dreamer, he was a doer.
In his lifetime Joseph looked for his brother’s approval, acceptance, apology and appreciation. He got all of the above when he finally looked after their welfare.
Let me just personalize this and say that whatever has happened in your family should be framed in the sovereignty of God. He either ordained it or allowed it and can use it to His glory. God “gets” what has happened to you and He can fix it on a grand scale.
Maybe you had a very sad childhood, imperfect parents, or alcoholism or abuse in your family. Perhaps you made some serious mistakes as a teenager or young person. Maybe others have treated you badly and your life has always seemed unfair. You want God to tie things up and He wants you to see how He has tied them in to His plan to place you exactly where you are. The choices you make today can affect your children and grandchildren and others in your life. The answer lies in forgiveness.
This is such a God-sized deliverance from the whole saga of pain and anger and jealousy and dysfunction in Joseph’s family, it gives us all hope for deliverance from the same in our families.
In the end Joseph is so much like Christ….the Savior and forgiver and restorer.
Don’t ever stop reading the scripture with just Joseph’s boyhood colorful coat story. Go on to the victory God accomplished in Joseph’s linen robe. And get used to it…because you will also be given a linen robe (Rev 19:8) and a ring when you get to the end of your story in heaven where God’s whole dysfunctional family will be able to bow down and forgive as we have been forgiven.
I love a good true story with a really happy ending like this, don’t you?
Hug your family members and whatever they’ve done or will do to you, just forgive them and go on with God.
