This sermon is based off of a few ideas in Craig Groeshel’s book “The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living as if He Doesn’t Exist.” Zondervan, 2010. ISBN: 9780310332220
CHRISTIAN ATHEIST: SHAME
PSALM 51:1-12
INTRODUCTION… Smack in the face (p)
Last January, I had the pleasure and opportunity to participate in the marriage ceremony of my sister as the one performing the wedding. We went to Kentucky where the wedding took place and it was a wonderful time for our family. As part of the festivities, as it normally does for out-of-town guests, we stayed in a hotel. I do not mind hotels except for one thing… walking around in the dark. Let me explain what I mean. For most of us at home, we can get up in the night for lavatory engineering or wake up in the morning and get ready without turning on any lights. Why? We know where everything is… we can reach for the light switch or a door handle because we know where everything is located.
If I remember correctly, I woke up the night before the actual wedding ceremony and I was heading towards the restroom. I walked cautiously for a moment past the blissfully sleeping children and as I walked I began to reach for the bathroom door and ran smack into the wall. I do not mean I almost ran into the wall. I do not mean I almost smacked my whole self into the wall. I did it. I then felt along the ever present wall in front of me, reached around the corner, and flipped on the light.
I immediately got worried. Did I wake people up with the smacking into the wall? Did I wake people up by turning on the light? Then the real issue clouded my mind. Would there be bruises? I mean, as the officiant of the wedding, I am the most important person in the wedding and no one wants to see that person all battered and bruised… that would ruin the wedding! Would I have to share the tale of my bumps and bruises?
This morning I would like to take you on a similar journey. We are going to walk around in the dark a little while and talk about shame, definitely walk smack into a wall, and then flip on the light. To be honest, I don’t mind if we make a lot of noise and wake you up… in fact… I am hoping to wake up in terms of shame and our relationships with God.
WALKING AROUND IN THE DARK: BIBLE PASSAGES ON SHAME
Adam and Eve (Genesis)
As we begin to walk around in the dark, we start in Genesis 3 in the Bible. Genesis 3:8-10 says, “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" 10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." We see in these verses a complete reversal of fortune for Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:25 says very plainly, “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” In the beginning in the Garden, life was perfect and there was no shame. Now in the next chapter they are hiding from God and feeling full of shame. What was different? What painful event happened between Genesis 2:25 and Genesis 3:8 that would cause hiding and shame? Sin. Rebellion. Poor choices. Blame. Sin happened and Adam and Eve hid from God. You see, even as we get started walking the dark, we see clearly that sin and the resulting shame separate us from God. That is an important thought and Truth. Adam and Eve illustrate what is said later in Philippians 3:19 which says, “Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.” At the core of what happened, Adam and Eve stopped identifying themselves with God and started to identify themselves with sin and shame.
Moses and the People of God (Exodus)
We are walking in the dark and I cannot help but think of Moses and the people of God as they camped around Mount Sinai in Exodus 32. The people of God had just come out from generations of slavery, they had seen the divine destructive plagues sent by God to release them, they had seen the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea… and now they waited for Moses to finish talking with God and come down from the mountain. Exodus 32:1-4 says, “When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, "Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him." 2 Aaron answered them, "Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me." 3 So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. 4 He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.” Aaron made the calf which was an idol. The people worshipped the calf in the place of the God who saved them. The people exchanged God’s best for them for something they created. Moses came down from the mountain soon after. Do you remember what happened?
Moses got angry. (32:19)
Moses threw the tablets of the Ten Commandments down and broke them. (32:19)
Moses burned up the idol, ground it into dust, and made them drink it. (32:20)
The rest of the chapter shares with us the results of the shame of the people of God and the consequences. 3000 people died and there was a plague because of their sin (32:26-35). Moses would say of these people later in Deuteronomy 32:5, “They have acted corruptly toward him; to their shame they are no longer his children, but a warped and crooked generation.” The people of God were full of shame because they exchanged God’s best for them and went their own way and lived their lives the way they wanted.
King David (2 Samuel)
We take a few more steps in the dark and come upon 2 Samuel 11:1 which begins, “In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army.” After that historical statement in 2 Samuel 11, shame-filled actions are taken. David lusts after another man’s wife. David and Bathsheba commit adultery. David murders Bathsheba’s husband and makes others in his army complicit in his death. David lies. God sends Nathan the prophet to go to David and confront him and says in 2 Samuel 12:7 "You are the man!” (not “you da man”… that is completely different). Nathan tells David in many critically important words that he is full of shame! Shame on you David for laziness, lustfulness, adultery, scheming, murder, and lying! We are going to come back to this with David because we will be looking at his thoughts about what happened in Psalm 51 a little later. We should know in the meantime that David heaped shame upon himself because of his sin and because he did as he desired and did not follow God.
Apostle Peter (Matthew)
We take a few more tentative steps forward in the dark and we again find a passage which brings shame to our minds. Matthew 26:58 says, “But Peter followed him at a distance, right up to the courtyard of the high priest. He entered and sat down with the guards to see the outcome.” Who is Peter following? Jesus. What is Peter awaiting the outcome of? Jesus’ trial before His death on the cross. While Peter is waiting for the trial to conclude, three separate times he is identified as a follower of Jesus. Three separate times he is connected with Jesus. Three separate times he claims that he does not know Jesus. In fact, the last time he is asked he even curses himself to make the point that he doesn’t know Jesus. In the course of the evening and in his denial, a rooster crows which is the signal Jesus gave him when He predicted Peter’s betrayal. Matthew 26:75 tells us sadly, “And he went outside and wept bitterly.”
Why is Peter weeping bitterly? He is ashamed! He is full of shame and guilt and anger and sadness. Shame has taken over his heart! He should have known better! Not only was Peter a committed follower of Jesus Christ, but Jesus Himself warned Him this would happen. Peter said it wouldn’t. Peter promised it wouldn’t, but he did it anyway.
SMACK INTO A WALL: SHAME
We have been walking in the dark and now we come up to the wall and we run smack into it. We all deal with it because we all have sinned. Romans 3:23 says to us, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That is a True statement. What is also true is that you and I sin and we also deal with the aftermath of sin… shame. We sin in ways that we are not proud of and therefore we consider ourselves unworthy of God’s love. We all have gone outside the boundaries of what God has defined for us and chose to disobey.
We succumb to addictions that wreck our finances, health, and family relationships. Smack!
We decide to end our marriage. Smack!
We make immoral decisions about our sex life. Smack!
We lie to those closest to us and then get trapped by the lies. Smack!
We verbally abuse our spouse and our children. Smack!
We watch TV or movies that are beneath us or we long for pornography. Smack!
We lust after our co-worker and actively imagine the possibilities. Smack!
We lose our temper at work or on the road in the car. Smack!
We over eat over buy over sleep and don’t overly care. Smack!
We put God second, third, fourth, or maybe no place at all in our daily lives. Smack!
Shame is something all of us deal with because each of us has sinned in ways that we are not proud of and we keep secret to ourselves. We sin and ask others to keep the secret. Shame can be a direct contributor in us “believing in God but living as though He doesn’t exist.” Shame rooted in our past thoughts, feelings, and actions can stunt our growth in our relationship with God. We get trapped in our sin and have no hope of escaping.
“Shame usually follows a pattern – a cycle of self-recrimination and lies that claims life after life. First, we experience an intensely painful event. Second, we believe the lie that our pain and failure” define who we are for all time. “And finally our feelings of shame trap us into thinking that we can never recover.” (Groeschel pg 50).
So what do we do? How do we break through shame and come out the other side? How do we smash out of self-recrimination and move on with our lives basking in the forgiveness of God? There is a way out of shame and condemnation and being stuck in the past. There is a way to live so that shame does not control your thoughts and feelings and drive your motivations in our relationship with God. I do think everyone is different and so the actual way out of the cycle of shame is different, but Psalm 51, reflecting on King David and his shame walkabout, can be helpful for us.
So let’s flip on the light, and see what we have!
FLIP ON THE LIGHT: PSALM 51:1-12
READ PSALM 51:1-12
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
As we flip on the light of Psalm 51, I believe we can find a suggested pathway out of shame. There are two steps that we can begin to take which will help lead us out of shame and into marvelous light with God. 1 Peter 2:9 tells us, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” These two steps can help us move from darkness into light… from living in shame to living in forgiveness.
STEP #1: ACCEPT THAT WHICH CANNOT BE CHANGED
David begins Psalm 51 by realizing the source of his shame is his own thoughts and actions. David had been trying to keep his sin hidden and then Nathan the prophet pointed out all of his sin. Numbers 32:23 rang true in King David’s ears that “your sin will find you out” and once David faces his thoughts and actions David calls what he did by its correct names… he accepts what he did. It was a series of transgressions. His actions had led to iniquity. He sinned. All three of those words: “transgression,” “iniquity,” and “sin” show us that David knows that what he did was perverse in God’s sight and that it has separated him from God (verses 1-4). The shame he feels is a result of his own actions.
One of the first steps in stopping guilt and overcoming sin in our lives is to call it what it is and own up to it. In order to break the cycle of shame from sin we have committed, we must accept that we did it and we cannot change the past.
We must also understand, and this is very critical, that even though we have done shameful things in the past, it does not define us if we are in Christ Jesus. I will say that again because this is the key thought in breaking out of shame… even though we have done shameful things in the past, it does not define us if we are in Christ Jesus because Jesus defines who we are. Holding onto our past means that it defines who we are what we expect of ourselves. Giving excuses means we are holding onto the past. Whining about our past means we are anchored to it. Blaming others keeps shame riveted to our hearts.
What is it that you have done that plagues you?
What choice did you make that makes you doubt that God loves you?
What shameful act makes you believe you are barred from having a deep abiding relationship with God?
I want to encourage you this morning to get rid of private defeat and understand that when we are in Christ, we are not our sins. They should not define who we are.
STEP #2: ACCEPT THAT GOD WILL CHANGE OUR FUTURE
I understand that we will most likely remember the bad choices we have made. Perhaps the consequences are still with us. “While we may always remember what happened, we need to believe that we are not what happened” (Groeschel pg 54). God can and will change our hearts and our future… this is the reality of having an active abiding relationship with God… He changes us.
Let’s not forget that we are switching on the light and looking at Psalm 51. Psalm 51 shares with us the heart of King David as he is dealing with the shame of what he had done. In Psalm 51 we see David fighting in his heart that what he did will not define him, but rather, he is accepting that God will change his future.
Psalm 51 gives us two suggestions on accepting God’s change in our future.
First, in verses 7, 10, and 12 David prays and honestly asks God for forgiveness.
“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
Once we are clean, we can move on. One of the key steps in letting go of shame is realizing in our brain and in our hearts that when God forgives us… He completely forgives us and our relationship with Him is restored. Sin is completely blotted out and forgotten (Psalm 51:9). Psalm 103:11-12 shares with us, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” When God forgives, He also restores. Shame is gone! When we truly repent, any guilt left over is temptation from Satan to keep us mired in ourselves and get off track. One of the greatest lies from the pit of Hell is feeling guilty and shameful for something God already forgave you for! God exists and He forgives completely and wipes away shame.
Stop giving excuses.
Stop whining.
Stop shifting blame.
Stop giving up.
Stop wallowing in self-pity.
Stop putting yourself in situations where you will fail.
Second, in verses 6, 8, 10, and 12 David prays diligently that God would be active and present in His life and that He would follow after God.
“You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”
“Let me hear joy and gladness”
“Renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
“Grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
Breaking out of shame means we actively ask God to be present in our lives and then once He is present we must not ignore Him. If we ask God to forgive and be present in our lives, but ignore Him, we are right back where we started. I want to encourage you this morning to accept the forgiveness of God… right now… and commit yourself to moving forward in a different manner. Act different. Believe different. Crave different. Desire different. Fight different. Give different. Heal different. Imagine different. Joke different. Parent different. Spend your money different. Talk different. Worship different. Xamine yourself different. Yell different.
What is different? God is what is different. Let us live daily as though we believe in God and that He is active in our lives. Let us live daily as though we believe in God and that He actively forgives each one of us and wipes away our shame.
CONCLUSION
I invite you to pray and cleanse your heart.
I invite you to come forward and confess if needed.
I invite you to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
I invite you to pray diligently for those sitting right around you.
