Father’s Day Message
June 15, 2014 Chester FBC, Chester, IL Dr. Mike Fogerson, Speaker
A Several years ago researchers did an experiment to see how much time middle-class father’s spent playing/interacting with their small children.
1 First, they asked the father’s to estimate the time they spent with their one-year old youngsters each day, and received an average reply of 15 to 20 minutes.
a To verify these claims, the researchers attached microphones to the shirts of small children to record really how much dads interacted with their youngsters.
b The average amount of time spent by these middle-class fathers with their small children was 37 seconds per day!
aa They also found that the 37 seconds was divided to 2.7 encounters daily, lasting 10 to 15 seconds each.
bb That represented the contribution of fatherhood for millions of America’s children in the 1970's, and I believe the findings would be even more depressing today.
2 The average preschool kid watches between 30 & 50 hours of TV every week.
a Kids get about 8 minutes of their dads a week and 30 hours (or more) a week from commercial television.
b Need we ask where are kids are getting their values?
aa Values are not taught to our children, they are caught by them.
bb Our kids are not equipped for us to set down & lecture them about God and other important issues of life (They’re kids!)
cc They only have six gears: run, jump, climb, crawl, slide & dive. . . boys & girls are not wired for quiet conversations about heavy topics.
B They way we teach them values is to it subtlety, through the rum drum routine interactions of everyday life.
1 Deut. 6.4-9
a Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NASB) 4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.6 "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 "You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
aa Look for opportunities in your everyday routines to be teachable moments.
bb IL. Sunset/sunrise, “COEXIST” bumper sticker, same-sex couple sitting at table, Rainbow, Veterans, Worship, Priority of the Sabbath, Communion, prayer, Jewish Feasts, Christian holidays, Reading Scripture.
cc Your children will casually assimilate our values & attitudes.
b Here is the secret of your children “catching” your values . . . you must be together with them and talk to them.
aa Your ability to discern the needs of your family members is directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with them.
bb Your values are passed from you to your kids, if.
cc IF parents are occasionally at home with their kids; if they have the energy to converse with them; if they have anything worthwhile to transmit; if they care.
2 I love/respect my wife (she’s a very good wife and excellent mother and hard worker . . . I’m sure each father here would say the same thing about their wife & mother of their children), but men, as the father goes, so goes the family. . . especially in the climate & direction of the home.
a Ephesians 5:23 (NASB) 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
aa Husbands/Daddies . . . according to Scripture it is YOUR responsibility to lead your home, especially in matters of faith!
bb Not with an iron fist or heavy handily . . . but as a servant leader to your family.
b Ephesians 6:4 (NASB) 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (EMPHASIS MINE)
aa “do not provoke your children to anger”: Don’t discipline your kids when your angry/mad. (Like going grocery shopping when your hungry; you tend to over do it.)
bb “discipline” is by correction & also by example. (You can’t very well tell your kids not to drink with a beer in your hands; teach them to behave in public if you act like a fool [ball game, Wal-Mart, Rozier’s, Traffic])
cc “instruction” literally means to put into the mind.
c I do not understand parents who are giving their children an option of which faith they’ll embrace for themselves.
aa “We’ve decided to allow our lil’Billy or Mary to chose for themselves which religion they’ll follow.”
bb There is a war being waged by the enemy for the soul of your children, there is no room pacifism in parenting.
cc If the enemy is going to lay claim to my children it will have to be over my dead limp body and the blood of my Living Savior . . . “bring them up in the . . . instruction of the Lord.” (Not leave them up to their own choice.)
dd They’ve got their whole lives to make up their mind about what path they’ll take . . . but right now . . . the choice is mine and I chose to raise them in the fear & admonition of the Lord.
C The greatest delusion is to suppose our children will be devout Christians simply because their parents have been, or that any of them will enter into the Christian faith in any other way than through their parents’ deep travail of prayer & faith.
1 Doubt me? Read 1 Samuel 2-4 the story of Eli.
a 1 Samuel 1:9 (NASB) 9 Then Hannah rose after eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the temple of the LORD.
1 Samuel 1:3 (NASB) 3 Now this man would go up from his city yearly to worship and to sacrifice to the LORD of hosts in Shiloh. And the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests to the LORD there.
1 Samuel 2:12 (NASB) 12 Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the LORD
1 Samuel 2:22-24 (NASB) 22 Now Eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting. 23 He said to them, "Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all these people? 24 "No, my sons; for the report is not good which I hear the LORD'S people circulating.
aa Here is an account of a priest & servant of God who failed to discipline his children.
bb Apparently too busy with “the work of the church” to be a leader in his own home.
cc These two boys grew up to be evil young men on whom God’s judgement fell.
b As hard as Eli worked at the church it didn’t mean his boys were automatically saints.
aa We’d do well to learn from Eli’s mistakes with his parenting skills.
bb Church work is great, but we’ve also “homework” that we’ve got to do.
2 Our little ones are in our harbor for only a very brief time.
a In the time they are under our care we must . . .
aa teach them to position their sails,
bb chart their course,
cc set the destination,
dd teach them what to do if they take on water,
ee hold their course in the storm and in unfamiliar waters,
ff recover when they get lost.
b Satan would deceive and destroy them if given the opportunity, and they will soon have to choose the path they will take.
D Introducing our little ones to Christ can be compared to a three-man relay race.
1 First, your father runs his lap around the track, carrying the baton (which represents the Gospel.)
a At the right/appropriate time, he hands the baton to you and you begin your journey around the track.
b Then finally, the time will come when you must get the baton safely in the hands of your child.
2 But as any track coach will testify, relay races are won or lost in the transfer of the baton.
a It’s at that moment when the baton is passed that all can be lost by a fumble or miscalculation.
aa Rarely is the baton dropped on the back side of the track when the runner has it firmly in his grasp.
bb If failure is going to occur, it will likely happen in the exchange between generations.
b The most important reason for living is to get the baton–the Gospel– safely in hands of my children.
aa Of course, I want to place it in as many other hands as possible.
bb Nevertheless, my number one responsibility is to evangelize my own children.
c As important (& essential) as church is, the baton is not passed by taking them to church.
aa If your not living like Jesus at home in front of your kids, you have dropped the baton.
bb They need to see you praying, reading Scripture, loving their mother, being happy and being there for them.
E Men, like it or not, your sons/daughters will inherit a legacy from you.
1 You don’t have an option on this matter, what you do have control over is what the legacy is that you leave them.
a Liam Gallagher, was the lead singer of the British rock group Oasis.
aa A kid Liam experienced physical and verbal abuse from his dad.
bb At 24 years of age he recalled his most vivid memory of his father was watching helplessly as the man hit Liam’s mother on the head with a hammer.
cc Affect? “I stopped believing in God because of what happened to my mom.”
dd Compare Liam’s story to Cal Thomas.
b Cal is nationally syndicated columnist and vocal Christian. Years after his daddy died he paused to reflect on the influence of his dad.
aa “What he did for a living was not the most important thing in my life, because it did not seem to be the most important thing in his. I do remember the Lionel train set he bought me one Christmas. I still have it and would not sell it at any price. I will never forget the hours he spent with me setting it up and watching the joy on my face as it raced around the track. I remember the backyard games of cath and the movies he took me to on Saturday, back when movies were worth seeing. None of the thins I remember about my father had anything at all to with his lifestyle or whom he knew or the places he had been or the style of clothes he wore. I just know that he was always there.”
c In 1997, Lawrence Bridge unexpectedly died at 54.
aa He was missions pastor at a local church, a busy man with an important career.
bb When his family wrote his obituary for the papers, they chose to remember him this way, “Larry’s hobbies included Bible study, spending time with children, and leading his family in a relationship with the Lord.”
cc Cal carries a picture of his father in the briefcase, a constant reminder of the joy his father brought to childhood.
dd In memory of his father, Liam Gallagher carries bitterness & resentment; “If he died tomorrow I wouldn’t go to his funeral.”
2 Three men. . . three stories. . . three memories.
a Your story is the fourth. . . how does your story end? Legacy you leave behind?
b Dad’s, as we get older and take personal inventory very few of us will express regret that we should have worked more hours, made more money, went further in our careers.”
aa I wish I would have spent more time working on my marriage, a few more hours spent with my kids during their formative years (when they wanted to be with me.)
bb No one will ever know whether you could have worked a few more hours or earned a few more dollars, but your wife and kids will care deeply if they feel neglected.
c You’ll always have work . . .you won’t always have kids running in & out of your door, leaving the garage door open, a pile of shoes in the middle of the living room floor, signs that say “Ridge’s Dinner”, muddy hunting boots a size smaller than yours at the back door.
aa You only have one life and they only have one childhood.
bb Doesn’t mess either one of them up.
cc An absent father’s presents can never make up for being present in a child’s life. (I may not spend quantity time, but I spend quality time with them, pastor.)
F I love you, church . . . but as for me . . . the greatest honor of my life is not being your pastor, degrees on a wall, awards on a desk, newspaper articles, praying before the General Assembly, graduations . . .
a My life’s greatest blessing is being a husband to Pam, dad to Kaylea, Lake, Madalyn, & Ridge.
b You can get another Pastor . . . to my family . . .I want to be irreplaceable.
aa I don’t want some other harry leg loving my wife or raising my kids.
bb I’ll love my wife/stay with her until one of us dies . . . and I’ll always try my best to bring my sons up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord because I want spend eternity with them.
c Men, would you make that commitment/rededication this morning with me?
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Respectfully,
Mike Fogerson
