Right thing the wrong way Pt. 5
Anger Management
Moses correcting the complaining Israelites
Introduction
A. We are continuing our sermon series, “Doing the right thing the wrong way.” A right thing done in a wrong way can be as disastrous as either not doing it at all or even doing a wrong thing. It brings confusion. People know it is right, but they also know there is something wrong about how it is being done and it bring confusion. It leaves a bad taste in their mouth for the things of God. Often when people do the right thing the wrong way it turns people away from God. God wants us to do the right thing, but He wants us to do it the right way. This has a lot to do with the attitude of our hearts and simple obedience to God’s ways.
B. We looked at the two men who prayed. One prayed the right way and one prayed the wrong way. It was not the words that they said that made it right or wrong. It was the condition of their hearts that determined whether they prayed the right way or the wrong way.
C. We looked at two men who built houses, one did it right and one did it wrong. It was good that they built houses but one built his house on the ways of the world. He was disobedient to God’s ways and the end was destruction.
D. We looked at the two people who questioned God. It is all right to question God but there is a right way to do it and a wrong way.
E. Last week we looked at the story of King David who was being zealous for God, which is the right thing but decided he would do things his own way, that God’s way was just not relevant anymore or a bit old fashion. It caused serious problems and brought the judgment of God.
F. Today we want to talk about being angry when bad things are being done which is right, but we will look at Moses who did the right thing but did it the wrong way. We will be reading in several passages but we will be starting in Numbers today but before we do …
Honor God’s Word
A. Psalm 119:14 “I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, As much as in all riches.”
B. How can you ‘rejoice’ in God’s testimonies or His Word? It starts with reading it and then stopping and praying about it. I think one of the main reasons most people do not retain what they read is because they just read it and then put it down.
C. It is always best to stop and pray about what you just read. Ask God to give you understanding about what you read and then pray about it.
Text poll
Which of the following causes people the most anger?
1. People who text while their having a conversation with you.
2. People who are always late!
3. Companies that make you scroll through a zillion options before you can speak to a live person.
A. There are so many things can made us angry.
B. People who drive crazy, especially those that slow down to look at something going on, on the other side of the freeway
C. How about people who talk during the movies?
D. Companies that outsource their work to people in other countries who cannot speak English!
E. Our government, which continues to spend more and more money putting our country deeper in debt to China!
F. People who are rude. There is just no good reason for being rude. Like people who cut in line.
G. Getting in a line at the store that moves slower than all the other lines.
H. Computers not working right!
I. Anger is present in all of our lives. We have all ‘lost it’ with strangers, family or friends at one time or another. For some of us though, anger seems to show up more than we like to admit. We are living in a society that has a major problem with anger
J. Road rage is a term used to describe our reactions to those who we feel are unfit to drive on the highways. There is even now a new term ‘Air Rage’ used to describe disgruntled passengers who are growing increasingly upset with the airline industry. So they take their frustrations out on airline personnel.
K. CORRECT ANSWER: What makes us angry the most? NONE of them MAKE us angry. We decide whether or not to be angry. It is an emotion that we feel but how we deal with it is the important think.
L. Let’s take a look at what God’s Word has to say about handling anger.
The people were complaining 1st time Exodus 17:1-7
A. Moses was told to hit the rock and water was to come out of it. He did as the Lord commanded and water really did come out of the rock. It was a miracle.
B. In I Corinthians 10:4 Paul said that this rock was to be a type of Jesus.
C. “They all drank from the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual ROCK that followed them and that ROCK was Christ.
D. Also Jesus also referred to Himself as the one who was giving people the living waters.
E. He was to be smitten and out of Him was to come rivers of living waters.
The people were complaining 2nd time Numbers 20:1-13
A. A short time later the people started complaining again. They were out of water again. This got Moses upset. He went and talked to God and this time God told Moses JUST SPEAK to the rock. God did not tell Moses to HIT the rock. But Moses was so angry with the people for constantly complaining he started yelling at the people. “Do I have to hit this rock again? You people make me so mad!” Then he hit the rock.
Movie Anger management?
A. Anger management Part 1 8:57 to 9:40 I told you not to go there.
B. Temper is the one thing you cannot get rid of by losing it.
From 05/15/11
C. It was right for Moses to be angry with the people. It was right to reprove the people for their constant complaining, but he did it the wrong way. He lost his temper and temper is the one thing that cannot get rid of by losing it.
D. What was the result of Moses losing his temper? He was punished! He was not allowed to actually bring the people into the Promised Land. He had to die in the wilderness. Someone else was going to lead the nation of Israel into their Promised Land. How sad.
What did he do wrong? What is so bad about hitting a rock?
A. 1st he disobeyed God. Instead of speaking to the rock he hit it. But what is the big deal? The big deal is called OBEDIENCE. Doing what God says, how He says it and when He says it. Even if we don’t like it.
B. 2nd there was probably some kind of symbolism that God was trying to show the people regarding the work that Jesus was going to do. He would be smitten, crucified ONCE for all and out of Him would flow rivers of living water. After that all we had to do was call upon Him to bring the living waters. Jesus was to be the final sacrifice, once for all.
C. What he really did wrong was to let his anger get control of him. He lost his temper. Temper is the one thing you cannot get rid of by losing it.
Is all anger sin? Eph 4:26
A. All anger is NOT sin. Paul wrote, “Be angry and sin not, don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.” That's easy enough to say, but how can we do it? How can we be “good and mad?” Jesus showed us how. Unlike most of us, He was never angry at wrong done to Himself. Even while He was hanging on the cross He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
B. Although Jesus could be gracious and forgiving to wrong done to Himself He had no words of charity for wrong done to others, especially the poor and hurting people. When religious authorities criticized Him for healing a crippled man on the Sabbath, He “looked around on them with anger.” (Mark 3:5). When money changers in the temple took advantage of poor foreigners, He took whips and drove them out saying, “My Father's house shall be called a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves.” (John 2:13-17). He blasted the Scribes and Pharisees not for the terrible things they did to Him but for the way they treated the weak and helpless (Matthew 23).
C. When the weak suffer at the hands of the strong, when the poor suffer at the hands of the rich, we may have to answer for the sin of not getting angry. Without anger the moneychangers would still be in the temple, blacks would still be in the back of the bus, and women would still not be able to vote in America!
D. Not all anger is sin, but some is. Just as lust is often confused with love, so the two sides of anger are misunderstood. Lust and love are powerful emotions of attraction: one to get something, the other to give something. Anger is a powerful emotion of resistance, which also has two sides: selfish and selfless. Both sides, however, are expressed by the same word.
E. If we don’t want to sin when we get angry we have to learn how to deal with the anger. We should not deny it when we are angry. We should not let things build up. We should learn to deal with the angry emotion.
Hold back, not in Eph 4:26
A. “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin.” “Be angry but sin not.”
B. This is a command, not a good suggestion. God commands us to get angry. There are two ways to deal with anger, one is sin and one is not sin. This is ALL about doing the right thing the right way!
C. There is a difference between holding anger in and holding anger back. When we hold it back, we are taking sometime to gain understanding, to pray to God about what we should do.
D. When we just hold it in, we try to ignore it and say it ‘doesn’t matter’ when in fact in does. It doesn’t help when we deny that someone upset us and try to ignore it. Then after we hold it in long enough and we do that enough times we wonder why we explode on someone or get physically sick. Resentment is nothing more than stored and stuffed anger. Resentment is the result of holding anger in. Some people are so out of touch with their own emotions. They don’t even know when they are angry!
I remember talking to one guy in my office. I looked at him and said you are angry with me aren’t you. He said, “No, no.” But he was all red faced and yelling at me!
E. We are not encouraging you to ‘hold anger in’ but to hold anger back. When you take some time to cool off and pray about it. God gets involved. Sometimes He lets you know that the problem is with you, you are being too sensitive, you are expecting too much, you need to let it go. Sometimes God lets you know supernaturally that the person who got you angry is struggling and needs some understanding. Sometimes He lets you know that the person who hurt you needs to be confronted about their bad behavior. Sometimes He may tell you just to let it go and forgive that person.
F. There are right ways to release your anger and then there are wrong ways. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Prov 29:11
G. Psychologists tell us that inside of each of us are a bucket of anger. The way to get rid of that anger is to take that bucket and spill it out, just do the primal scream. We use to do that when I was in college back in the early 70’s. I remember my early psychology classes; people were really getting into it. It doesn’t work. The problem is that we are not buckets of anger we are factories. There is a big difference between a bucket and a factory. The difference is that anger released inappropriately increases the volume of anger that we have on the inside. God’s Word tells us that aggression leads to more aggression. Abuse leads to more abuse. We have to be careful of setting patterns.
H. There is a right way to deal with anger. Here are a few ideas that will help.
1. Be honest when you are hurt. Don’t hold it in.
2. Wait and slow down. James in his epistle said, “Be slow to anger.” While you are waiting, pray and listen.
3. If you are going to talk to the person pick a time to talk to the person. Do it privately and it is best if you can do it face to face. Emails, telephone calls, letters are usually not the best way to do this. Let them know what they did was hurtful, or inappropriate and you would like for them to not do that again. Whether they own up to it or not, whether they deny it or not. You do your part. Always be respectful. This can make all the difference between doing the right thing the right way or the wrong way. Then if they continue the bad behavior you may need to take more drastic action.
4. You can be angry and not raise you voice or lose your temper. You can say, “That makes me angry.” It is okay to feel the emotion of anger. Keep control of your emotions while you are expressing yourself.
Summary
A. Doing the right thing the wrong way can really cause harm. Doing the right thing the right way will bring forth good fruit and help to advance God’s Kingdom. While anger is a natural emotion, we need to remember that even moderate anger can hurt others. We venture into the realm of sin when our anger translates into words or actions that hurt others.
B. When our anger flares into wrath, becomes inordinate, uncontrolled and motivated by hatred or vengeance, it can lead to words or actions that may bring irreparable harm to others.
C. When it comes to anger, learning how to do the right thing the right way is very important. We learn to learn how to hold back not hold it in. Take some time, cool off, talk to God and then obey what He says to do.
