For Those that are not familiar with an Anglican Service; there are four Scripture readings prior to the Message. Today's assigned readings are: Exodus 14:19-31; Psalm 114; Romans 14:1-12 and Matthew 18:21-35
A driver placed a note under the windshield wiper of his illegally parked car..... which read:
"I have circled the block for 20 minutes.
I'm late for an appointment,..... and if I don't park here .....I'll lose my job. ..........'Forgive us our trespasses'."
When he came back .....he found a parking ticket .....and a note from a policeman: ......."I've circled the block for 20 years, .....and if I do not give you a ticket, ......I will lose my job. .......'Lead us not into temptation'."
Last week the Scriptures spoke on how we deal with conflict.
Quickly on the heels of that question, ..... comes the equally difficult question of ............(Slow) how do we forgive.
We all understand the general concept of forgiveness, ......but most of us are not especially proficient on the specifics.
So, this today, .....we are going to address the question:
How Do I Forgive?
First Beloved.... You must be Truthful, ......You must Acknowledge .....that you have been......hurt.
(1 Finger) The starting point for pursuing forgiveness ......is to admit.... that you have in fact .....been hurt.
We often like to pretend as if what he said did not really bother us ......or what she did or said .....did not even phase us.
But until we are willing to admit ......that we were hurt by them, ......we are not in a place ......where we can begin .....to pursue forgiveness. (Pause)
There are many incidents in life that are not candidates for forgiveness ...... things like minor
disappointments ......or passing slights.
Situations that require forgiveness ....are ones where the pain inflicted ..... is personal,.... unfair, ....and deep.
Things like betrayal and brutality - physical or emotional...... would surely rise to this level.
Beloved....At this point,...... as we hurt, .......we are likely to find .....some hatred ......buried in our heart.
Hatred, of course, .....is never a good thing, ....... we must be careful .....that we do not try to get rid of it ......by covering the hatred up.
When we find hate in our heart, ......it is simply a sign ...... that we are going to need .....to forgive.
(1 Finger) First admit that you have been hurt. (2 Fingers) Second ...... Surrender your right to get even. REPEAT
(Pause)
A mother ran into the bedroom .......when she heard her seven-year-old son .....scream.
She found his two-year-old sister ......pulling his hair.
She gently released the little girl's grip and said to the boy,....
"There, there. .....She didn't mean it. ......She doesn't know that hurts."
He nodded his acknowledgement, and the mother left the room.
As she started down the hall ... she heard the little girl intensely scream.
Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?"
The little boy replied, ...... "She knows now." (Pause)
Few would dispute...... our right ....to get even.
The rule of the world is ......." To do unto others .....as they have done ......unto you."
But......When we choose to forgive, ......we choose to lay aside our right ...... to extract revenge.
In the moment .... When we yield and lay aside revenge, .....we accomplish Two things:
(1 Finger) We are leaving ultimate justice and vengeance to God, and
(2 Fingers) We are deliberately choosing for ourselves .....the path of forgiveness.
Acknowledging that we have been hurt ......gets us in the right place.
It gets us .....to the beginning
But surrendering our right to get even .....is the first major step .....down that true path..... Of forgiveness.
Some would argue .....that choosing such a path ...... is inevitably going to make us...... a patsy.
That we are yielding all of our rightful revenge.....and are going to end up .... a doormat.
REPEAT
I am convinced that the Scriptures clearly show, ......that there is a power.... A spiritual power.... that is unleashed in forgiveness ......that cannot come...... from any other source .......then God.
So What does this power look like?
Consider the following story:
Albert Tomei was a justice of the New York State Supreme Court.
A young defendant was convicted in Judge Tomei's court ......of gunning down another person .....execution style.
The murderer had a long record, .....was no stranger to the system, ......and only stared in anger .....as the jury ....returned its guilty verdict.
The victim's family had attended each day of the two-week trial.
On the day of sentencing, .....the victim's mother and grandmother .....addressed the court.
When they spoke, ......neither addressed the jury.
Both spoke directly..... to the murderer.
Hear their words to him:
"You broke the Golden Rule----loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind.
You broke the law----loving your neighbor as yourself.
I am your neighbor," the older of the two women told him, " and she gave him her address.
If you want to write, I'll write you back.
I sat in this trial for two weeks, and for the last sixteen months I tried to hate you.
But you know what? I could not hate you.
I feel sorry for you ....because you made wrong choices."
Judge Tomei writes: "For the first time since the trial began, ......the defendant's eyes lost their laser force ......and appeared to surrender...... to a life force ......that only a mother can generate: ........nurturing, ......unconditional love.
After the grandmother finished, I looked at the defendant....... His head was hanging low.
There was no more swagger, ......no more stare.
The destructive and evil forces within him .......collapsed helplessly before this remarkable display .....of humaneness." (Pause)
In choosing the path of forgiveness, those women .....unleashed a power ....that could not be tapped ......in any other way.
(1 Finger) First admit that you have been hurt.
(2 Fingers) Second ..... Surrender your right to get even.
( 3 Fingers) Thirdly ...... Search for the person .......beneath the evil mask.
When we have been wronged, ......we like to caricature .....our wrongdoer.
We emphasize all the bad things about them, ......we twist anything that looks remotely good, ....we are quick to impugn ......their every ......motive.
The process of forgiveness .....requires that we begin to look for the person ..... the person behind the caricature that we have created ....in our own minds.
Then.... And only then will we begin to see .....that they have not only hurt, ......but that they too .....have been hurt.
We begin to find reasons ......for our hearts to turn toward mercy .....mercy instead of malice.
This does not mean we grant them victim status ..... that we excuse their wrong ...... we are forgiving, .......not excusing.
It.... Does mean .....that we begin to try and treat them ......as another participant ....in this messy thing .....called life.
What is our motivation .....for doing this?
As our Gospel passage points out, .....we are doing for them ......what God has done for us.
God could have simply seen our sin and said, ......"I've seen enough, ......that's all I need to know."
Yet God looked beyond our sin .....and saw something .... Something worth loving.
And that is what we as well.....have been called to do.
(1 Finger) First admit that you have been hurt.
(2 Fingers) Second ...... Surrender your right to get even.
( 3 Fingers) Third ..... Search for the person ......beneath the evil mask.
(4 Fingers) Lastly ...... Desire that good things..... would happen ......to your wrongdoer.
I know that sounds impossible when you first hear it, ......but bear with me..... for a moment.
In the process of forgiveness, .....we move from dreaming of bad things befalling them...... toward hoping and praying for good things to happen..... in their life.
At this point,...... it might be helpful to address a related question: ......
Does forgiving mean .....there is no punishment?
The answer to that is,..... No,
Forgiving does not necessarily mean there should not be punishment.
The key ..... is your motive.
Your motive has changed....... Changed....from wanting something bad to happen ......to praying for something good..... to happen. (Pause)
So.... What do I mean by this?
When Chris Carrier was ten, ......he was abducted, stabbed, shot through the head, then left for dead.
Surprisingly, he survived, .....but the emotional and physical scars .....were very difficult to heal.
Eventually, though, .....his commitment to Christ helped him..... to move on with his life.
The perpetrator was not found.
Over twenty years later,..... Chris received a phone call from a detective..... from the police department.
The detective said that an elderly man ......in a local nursing home .....had confessed .....to being his abductor.
The man's name was David McCallister.
Chris accompanied with a friend .....visited McCallister the following day.
Here are his words: ......"It was an awkward moment, ......walking into his room, .....but as soon as I saw him .......I was overwhelmed ......with compassion.
The man I found ......was not an intimidating kidnapper, .....but a frail seventy-seven-year-old man......who had been blind ......for the last half-dozen years.
The Man's body .....was ruined by alcoholism and smoking...... he weighed little more .....than sixty pounds.
He either had no family, ......or if he did, ......they wanted nothing ....to do with him.
A friend who had accompanied me .....wisely asked him a few simple questions ......that led to him .....admitting that he ......had abducted me.
He then asked the old man, .......'Did you ever wish you could tell that young boy ......that you were sorry for what you did?' '
He answered emphatically, 'I wish I could.' ......That was when ......I introduced myself to him.
Unable to see, .....the old man clasped my hand .....and told me he was sorry .....for what he had done to me.
As he did, ......I looked down at him, ......and it came over me like a wave: ........
Why should anyone have to face death ......without family, friends, - without hope?
I could not as a follower of Christ .....do anything .....but offer him my forgiveness..... and my friendship."
In the days that followed, .....Chris was able to share the love of Christ ......with David McCallister. (Pause)
What is our motivation ......for doing such a difficult thing.... Such a gracious thing?
Beloved as our text states .....we are doing for them ......what God has..... done for us.
Beloved.....Forgiveness is not suggestion...... it is a clear command.
It is a clear command to those who call themselves .....a follower ..... of the Christ.
A heart of forgiveness... is a part of our transformation into the image of Christ.
At the end of the day...... For the obedient Christian, ......it is not simply ....the wisest choice.
O' ......Beloved........it is ......our only choice.
Amen & Amen!
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