“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”(Proverbs 24:4)
From Genesis to Revelation the Bible often uses the word house to refer to the smallest and most basic unit of society—the family. Knowledge is critical for success and survival in anything. If you desire a successful marriage you have to learn to operate by wisdom. Bible also says “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”(Proverbs 2:6) “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builder’s labor in vain. (Ps. 127:1) God is the Divine Builder. “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” (Hebrews 3:4) God’s Word gives some specific plans for building a great relationship between husband and wife. It begins and ends with God’s wisdom. Wisdom is the foundation on which a house must be built. It is the great principle on which all other principles must be founded. But what is this wisdom? Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
Book of Proverbs signifying that homes are built with three primary tools: wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Wisdom is the ability to perceive with discernment, to view life as God sees it. Wisdom is application. Understanding is the skill to bring together the elements of life so that one can respond to it or live it with insight. Understanding is comprehension. Knowledge is learning, discovering, growing and living with an eternal perspective. Knowledge is information. In Hosea 4:6a God says, “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.” The greatest knowledge of all is the knowledge God. God designed marriage for success, and only His counsel can make it successful. Look at Proverbs 21:30 “There is no wisdom or understanding or counsel against the Lord.”
Marriage is still a good idea because it is God’s idea. He created it. He designed it. He established it and defined its parameters. Marriage is not a human concept. Mankind did not simply dream up marriage somewhere along the line as a convenient way of handling relationships and responsibilities between men and women or dealing with childbearing and parenting issues. Marriage is of divine origin. God Himself instituted and ordained marriage at the very beginning of human history. The second chapter of Genesis describes how God, taking a rib from the side of the man He had already created, fashioned from it a woman to be a “suitable helper” (Gen. 2:20) for the man. Then God brought the man and the woman together and confirmed their relationship as husband and wife, thereby ordaining the institution of marriage. When God created man and woman, He created them to complement each other. He indicated this when He said "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18). God formed woman to round out man's incompleteness, so that physically, socially, emotionally, intellectually, and even spiritually, male and female would not be rivals, but mates.
The world’s first wedding took place in the Garden of Eden. There God ordained and sanctified the marriage of the man and woman whom He had created. Chapters 1 and 2 of Genesis portray marriage in its ideal state as God designed it, where Adam and Eve enjoyed a relationship characterized by peace, harmony, and equality, along with continual, unbroken fellowship with their Creator. Genesis chapter 3 presents a starkly different picture: Sin has shattered the harmony of the human couple’s relationship with each other and destroyed their fellowship with God.
Genesis chapters 1 and 2 picture family before the fall, as God designed it. Chapter 3 reveals what family became after the fall, as the world corrupted it. Inside the garden Adam and Eve enjoy mutual love, respect, and equality; outside the garden they experienced the broken relationship within the family. Inside the garden they share the same spirit, the Spirit of God; outside the garden the presence of God has departed and they are like self serving and strangers to each other. Inside the garden they are united in spirit and in flesh; outside the garden all they have is broken family. Chapters 1 and 2 portray family “inside the garden that is God’s presence,” while chapter 3 shows family “outside the garden without God’s presence.”
God established marriage as a permanent relationship, the union of two separate people—a man and a woman—into “one flesh.” When Adam first laid eyes on Eve he exclaimed, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2:23,). God’s design for marriage is found in the very next verse: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). When God ordained that the man and the woman should “become one flesh” He plainly had a permanent, lifelong relationship in mind. The Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife, pointing out that Moses had permitted it in the law. “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. “What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” (Mark 10:5-9).
If marriage were of human origin, then human beings would have the right to set it aside whenever they chose to do so. Since God is the one who instituted marriage, He alone has the authority to determine its standards and set its rules. Another important truth about marriage is that God established it as the first and most fundamental element of human society. While the family is the basic foundation of any healthy society, marriage is the foundation of the family. A healthy “house” is the key to both a healthy community and a healthy society. It takes only a few minutes to get married, but building a marriage requires a lifetime. Secondly, godly marriage becomes stronger under pressure. Building a strong marriage takes time, patience, and hard work. We will never obtain God’s kind of marriage simply by going along with the crowd, doing what everybody else does. We have to dig deep into the heart of God to discover His principles.
The Bible presents marriage as an institution that should be highly respected and esteemed above all other institutions. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” The King James Version reads, “Marriage is honorable in all…” “Honorable” translates the Greek word timios, which also means “valuable, costly, honored, esteemed, beloved, and precious.” Marriage, then, should be valued and esteemed, and held in highest honor at all times in all things by all people everywhere. That is God’s design.
Marriage Is Bigger than the Two People in It. A vow is not made to another person. Vows are made to God or before God; in other words, with God as a witness. God’s attitude toward vows is revealed plainly in the Scriptures. “When you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him. It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it.” (Eccles. 5:4-5NLT). Because marriage is a perfect vow made before a perfect God by two imperfect people, only God can make it work. Don’t expect perfection from your spouse. Marriage is perfect, but people are imperfect. If you don’t believe that, just take a look in the mirror. The institution of marriage is constant; it never changes. People change all the time. If you want success in your marriage, commit yourself to that which does not change. Commit yourself to the one who established the institution of marriage. He will become your center of gravity and help keep you solid. The Old Testament prophet Malachi expressed God’s perspective on faithfulness to the marriage vow in the following words: “Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn't accept them with pleasure. You cry out, "Why doesn't the LORD accept my worship?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.”(Malachi 2:13-14NLT).
