Text: Proverbs 5:15-23
Cosperville Baptist Church
Series: Wisdom For The Summer!
Pastor Jim Barnes
Topic: Sex, Faithfulness, Marriage
August 10, 2014
“Drink: Faithfulness In Marriage!”
Intro:
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."
"How did you know that?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
(Pearl Scully in The Saturday Evening Post).
THIS BOY – WILL DEFINITELY ONE DAY NEED: “THE TALK” – JUST AS MANY OTHER CHIDREN WILL NEED TO BE TOLD – FROM A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE THE MEANING OF SEX.
OUR TEXT THIS MORNING IS PROVERBS 5:15-23.
In Chapter 5:3-14, this wise father warns his son about immoral women and goes onto instruct him of the real meaning of sex from God’s perspective.
The main Verse is Verse 15 which says, “Drink water from your own cistern…”
THE TITLE WORD FOR THIS SERMON IS: DRINK – THIS MORNING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FAITHFULNESS IN MARRIAGE!
YOU MAY WONDER WHO IS THIS MESSAGE FOR? THE ANSWER IS:
This message is for everyone. It is for married and unmarried, for men and women, for parents and children, for the young and the old, and the wise and the foolish (Sovereign Grace Church, Fairfax VA).
SOME CHURCHES NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS TOPIC. OTHERS HAVE GONE WAY OVERBOARD GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL. THE REASON TO TALK ABOUT IT – IS THAT GOD TALKS ABOUT IT IN HIS WORD.
IT IS MY GOAL NOT TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN A WAY THAT WOULD AROUSE BUT RATHER TALK ABOUT IT TRUTHFULLY AND TACTFULLY FROM GOD’S PERSPECTIVE SO THAT WE CAN LIVE “WISELY” IN THIS IMPORTANT AREA OF OUR LIVES.
FROM THIS SECTION IN PROVERBS I WANT YOU TO SEE:
3 Ways Sexual Intimacy Can Help You Defend Your Marriage Against The Destructiveness Of Adultery.
HOW CAN SEXUAL INTIMACY ACTUALLY HELP YOU DEFEND YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST SEXUAL IMMORALITY, ADULTERY, AND UNFAITHFULNESS?
YOU WILL DEFEND YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST THE DESTRUCTIVENESS OF ADULTERY IF YOU:
I. Embrace Sex For The Right Purpose (Proverbs 5:15, 20-21).
Proverbs 5 is really about: God’s perspective on sex.
Instead of getting our ideas, values, and opinions on the topic of sexual intimacy from the WORLD and its perverted views about sex – we need to look to GOD.
GOD IS NOT SILENT ON THE SUBJECT. IF HE HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO RECORD INSTRUCTIONS FOR US ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF SEX – WE SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO KNOW WHAT HE SAYS – AMEN?
WHY SHOULD WE EMBRACE SEX FOR THE RIGHT PURPOSE?
LET ME GIVE YOU FOUR SIMPLE REASONS FROM THE BIBLE.
THE FIRST REASON IS:
A. SEX IS GOD’S IDEA.
Notice our text.
Proverbs 5:15 says, “Drink water from your own cistern…”
“The figurative language in 5:15 refers to marital intercourse” (Tyndale’s Bible Commentary).
THE BIBLE IS NOT AGAINST SEX – AND NOT ALL SEX IS SINFUL.
SEX IS GOD’S IDEA.
GOD IS THE AUTHOR AND INVENTOR OF SEX AND SEXUAL DESIRES.
Genesis 1:26-28 says, “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply…”
GOD INSTITUTED MARRIAGE – AND ALONG WITH THAT – SEXUAL INTIMACY.
You see: Sex in marriage is pure and holy.
• Created by God before sin (Gen. 1:31 – Very good).
• After sin God still called it good and honorable (Heb. 13:4).
• Any other view is sinful.
MARRIAGE IS CREATED BY GOD – TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE AND BEAR CHILDREN.
Sex is not the basis of marriage – SORRY TO DISSAPOINT YOU GUYS.
o Marriage is first and foremost a covenant.
o A healthy sex life is important in marriage but not the most important part.
THE SECOND REASON IS:
B. SEX IS A GIFT FOR A HUSBAND AND A WIFE.
Proverbs 5:15 says, “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.”
SEXUAL DESIRES ARE GIVEN TO US BY GOD TO BE EXPRESSED AND FULFILLED ONLY WITHIN MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
Verse 15 says, “Drink water from your own cistern.”
IT IS A COMMAND – TO BE OBEYED AND EXPRESSED BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ALONE.
UNDERLINE – YOUR OWN CISTERN.
A CISTERN – WAS A PLACE THAT HELD RAIN WATER IN THE HOME FOR DRINKING. IT WAS GOOD PURE WATER IN THE HOME FOR THEM TO DRINK.
HERE THE HUSBAND IS CALLED TO DRINK FROM HIS OWN CISTERN – VS. 18 CALLS HIM TO, “REJOICE IN THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”
THE HUSBAND IS TO BE FAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE – AND VISA VERSA.
AFTER CREATING EVERYTHING IN 6 LITERAL DAYS – GOD SAID OF EVERYTHING INCLUDING MAN, WOMAN, MARRIAGE – AND THE INTIMACY WITHIN – HE SAID IT WAS, “VERY GOOD.”
SEX IS A GIFT GIVEN BY GOD TO A HUSBAND AND WIFE.
THE THIRD REASON TO EMBRACE SEX FOR THE RIGHT PURPOSE:
C. SEX IS AN EXPRESSION OF ONENESS IN MARRIAGE.
SEXUAL INTIMACY INCREASES THE ONENESS IN MARRIAGE.
Genesis 2:24-25 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
Jesus affirmed this in Matthew 19:4-6 where He quotes Genesis by saying, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh.”
SEXUAL INTIMACY IN A MARRIAGE DRAWS A COUPLE CLOSER IN ONENESS – IT IS AN INTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE WITHIN A MARRIAGE.
GOD’S ORIGINAL INTENT AND DESIGN WAS FOR SEX TO BE IN MARRIAGE BEFORE SIN ENTERED THE PICTURE. SINCE THE FALL OF MAN SATAN AND SINFUL MAN HAS BEEN PERVERTING WHAT GOD CALLED GOOD.
THE LAST REASON IS:
D. SEX IS EVALUATED BY GOD.
GOD IS THE ONE WHO ESTABLISHED WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG – WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS SINFUL. HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL HOLD US ACCOUNTABLE FOR HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES.
Proverbs 5:20 says, “Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”
WHY SHOULD YOU NOT JUST GIVE YOURSELF OVER TO PASSION AND DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT – OR FEELS GOOD?
VERSE 21 GIVES US THE ANSWER – GOD!!!!
Proverbs 5:21 says, “For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.”
ALL OUR WAYS – OUR THOUGHTS AND OUR ACTIONS ARE “BEFORE THE EYES OF THE LORD.”
GOD IS OMNISCIENT – HE IS ALL SEEING – HE SEES ALL THINGS, HE KNOWS ALL THINGS.
YOU AND I ARE UNDER CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE!
HE KNOWS AND SEES ALL WE DO INCLUDING OUR SEXUAL BEHAVIORS….
HE SEES WHAT YOU DO AT WORK, AT HOME, IN YOUR CAR, ON YOUR PHONE, YOUR COMPUTER – HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU THINK KNOW ONE ELSE CAN!!!
HE IS THE JUDGE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG.
Proverbs 5:21 says, “God ponders all his paths – all man’s paths.”
HE PONDERS ALL HIS PATHS / WAYS – HE IS A PERSON WITH AUTHORITY TO EXECUTE JUDGMENT.
PONDERS – HE “WEIGHS OR EXAMINES” OUR PATHS (BDB).
We may fool men – but we cannot fool God.
KNOWING THAT GOD SEES EVERYTHING OUGHT TO BE A REMINDER – A DETERENT FROM DEVIATING FROM GOD’S PLAN FOR SEX.
MEN / LADIES – YOUNG PEOPLE – DON’T THINK THAT YOU CAN SIN SEXUALLY AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
Galatians 6:7 warns, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
YOU WILL PAY A PRICE FOR SINNING AGAINST GOD – WHETHER SAVED OR UNSAVED.
Illustration:
A senior higher shares: "When we date, we start giving gifts, like flowers or candy. When a couple becomes engaged, they give special things--a diamond and very personal things. The most personal gift that I can ever give is myself. I have nothing more precious to give. When I marry, I want to give my husband the best that I have--my whole self as completely as I can” (Dr. Richard B. Wilke, in Homemade, October, 1989.).
Application:
WHAT IS IT THAT GOD IS PONDERING AND WANTING TO SEE? HE WANTS TO SEE US AS BELIEVERS EMBRACING SEX FOR THE RIGHT PURPOSE – TO USE HIS GIFT WITHIN MARRIAGE.
SECONDLY, YOU WILL DEFEND YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST THE DESTRUCTIVENESS OF ADULTERY IF YOU:
II. Engage In Sex In The Right Place
(Proverbs 5:15b-17).
Verse 15 says, “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.”
THE BIBLE EMPHASIZES FAITHFULNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE – WHAT WE CALL “MONOGOMY.”
MARRIAGE IS THE PLACE FOR SEX – IN FACT IT IS THE ONLY PLACE GOD SANCTIONS IT!
YOU GET YOUR SATISFACTION – YOUR SEXUAL DESIRE FULFILLED FROM YOUR OWN CISTERN – NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S.
Proverbs 5:15 continues the picture of intimacy in marriage by saying, “Flowing water from your own well.”
NOTICE IT IS DESCRIBED AS “FLOWING WATER” – THE NIV DESCRIBES IT AS, “RUNNING WATER.”
THE WATER IS NOT STALE OR STAGNANT - IT IS RUNNING WATER!!!
JUST AS FRESH WATER FROM A WELL IS GOOD, PURE, AND REFRESHING - SEX IN MARRIAGE IS NOT BAD / EVIL – IT IS GOOD, PURE, AND REFRESHING.
SEX OUTSIDE OF THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE – MAY BRING PLEASURE – BUT IT IS SHORT LIVED.
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GUILT, SHAME, BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS WRONG.
BUT WHEN YOU ARE INTIMATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE – THERE IS A JOY KNOWING THAT THIS IS RIGHT – IT IS GOOD – IT IS WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR A HUSBAND AND A WIFE.
Proverbs 5:16-17 says, “Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.”
VERSE 16 – THERE ARE DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS BY DIFFERENT AUTHORS.
SOME SEE “THEM” AS REFERRING TO OFFSPRING. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN SCATTERED ABROAD WITH DIFFERENT WOMEN? NO – YOU SHOULDN’T. SADLY, MANY PEOPLE TODAY DO NOT CARE.
HOWEVER, I THINK IT IS TO TAKE THIS AS A WARNING AGAINST PROMISCIOUS SEXUAL ACTIVITY OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE.
A MAN’S SPRINGS – HIS DESIRE FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY – SHOULD NOT BE SCATTERED ABROAD – THEY MUST BE CONTROLLED – CHANNELLED TO ONLY HIS WIFE.
THIS APPLIES TO NOT JUST MEN – BUT ALSO TOO WOMEN.
“Any sexual act or thought which is not directed towards his wife is sinful and destructive” (Opening Up Proverbs).
WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR HEART AND YOUR AFFECTIONS AWAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOUR SPOUSE – YOU ARE WASTING WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE – FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
IT IS A SIN TO GIVE AWAY WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE ALONE (SOVEREIGN GRACE CHURCH – FAIRFAX, VA.).
NOT TO HELP US VISUALIZE THIS: THERE IS A HOUSE ON YOUR HAND OUT SYMBOLIZING MARRIAGE – This idea comes from Sovereign Grace Church - where they made people hold up their hands and form a box - to illustrate that sex that God allows is only within the box (Marriage- between one man and one woman). All outside the box (or house) is sin.
WHERE IS THE RIGHT PLACE TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTIMACY? ONLY IN MARRIAGE.
• INSIDE THE HOUSE DRAW A MAN AND A WOMAN –
• WRITE IN THE BOX HEBREWS 13:4.
Look over with me at Hebrews 13:4.
It says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
YOU SHOULD HONOR MARRIAGE – WHETHER YOU ARE MARRIED OR SINGLE OR DIVORCED.
THE MARRIAGE BED SHOULD BE UNDEFILED – MEANING – ANY SEX – WHETHER IN THOUGHT OR DEED OUTSIDE OF THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND A WIFE IS SIN.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
It says, “God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
THIS IS WHY JESUS DIED – TO PAY FOR THESE SINS SO THAT WE COULD HAVE SELF CONTROL AND LIVE A LIFE PLEASING TO HIM – WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT.
EVERYTHING ELSE SEXUALLY OUTSIDE OF THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE IS FORBIDDEN BY GOD – AND HE CALLS IT SIN.
LET’S LOOK UP A FEW VERSES: WRITE THESE DOWN OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 tells us, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Paul instructs Christians in Colossians 3:5-8, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away…”
Romans 13:13-14 says, “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
1 Corinthians 6:18 commands us too, “Flee from sexual immorality.”
LOOK AT 1 THESSALONIANS 4:3.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 instructs us, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”
IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED OR MARRIED – WE ARE CALLED TO BE SELF CONTROLLED – AND FULFIL OUR SEXUAL DESIRES ONLY WITHIN THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE.
DRAW OUTSIDE THE HOUSE – OR WRITE DOWN THESE SINS.
• MAN & WOMAN –
o PREMARITAL SEX IS A SIN.
o LIVING TOGETHER IS A SIN.
o ADULTERY – IS SIN.
• MAN & MAN – WOMAN & WOMAN –
HOMOSEXUALITY IS STILL A SIN. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE COMMITTED TO THE OTHER PERSON (AND CALL IT MARRIAGE) DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT. GOD SAYS IT IS SIN.
• CELL PHONE – SEXTING IS A SIN.
• COMPUTER – PORNOGRAPHY OF ANY KIND IS A SIN.
• TV – WATCHING MOVIES OR SHOWS THAT ARE OF A SEXUAL NATURE IS SIN. 50 SHADES OF GREY IS A POPULAR BOOK – WHICH IS SEXUAL IN NATURE. DON’T ENTERTAIN YOUR MIND ON FILTH.
• ONE PERSON – MASTURBATION IS SIN.
• LIGHTBULB– YOUR THOUGHTS - Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
SATAN HAS SET DEADLY TRAPS OUTSIDE OF GOD’S ORGINAL PLAN FOR SEX – HE HAS PERVERTED IT – AND USES IT TO TRAP MEN, WOMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS TO THIS DAY.
Proverbs 5:22-23 then says, “The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. 23 He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.”
WHEN WE HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE – IT ENTRAPS US.
IT IS ADDICTIVE. IT IS ENSLAVING. IT DEFILES YOU. IT SEPERATES US FROM GOD.
IT MAKES YOU GUILTY BEFORE A HOLY GOD! IF YOU KEEP ON THAT PATH – GOD WILL JUDGE YOU.
SO WHAT IF YOU FALL OUTSIDE THE BOX?
WHAT IF YOU HAVE DONE OR ARE DOING ONE OR MORE OF THE SINS LISTED ON YOUR HANDOUT?
WHAT HOPE IS THERE FOR YOU…..FOR ME? THIS IS THE GOOD NEWS OF THE GOSPEL!!!!
REMEMBER – JESUS DIED FOR ALL OUR SINS! JESUS IS OUR HOPE – THE CROSS IS OUR HOPE.
IT IS WHERE WE FIND FORGIVENESS – CLEANSING – THE POWER TO LIVE FOR JESUS.
2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
HE NOT ONLY REDEEMS US FROM THE PENALTY OF SIN – BUT ALSO THE POWER OF SIN.
DO YOU NEED TO BE FORGIVEN? DO YOU NEED TO BE REDEEMED FROM THE SINS YOU COMMITTED?
REPENT & TRUST CHRIST – RIGHT HERE – RIGHT NOW!
TELL JESUS YOU ARE SORRY FOR YOUR SINS – ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU, CLEANSE YOU, AND MAKE YOU A NEW PERSON!
In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: Paul listed several sinful lifestyles that are condemned by God – and if you practice them – without remorse – without repentance – then you are going to be condemned and evidence that you are NOT a CHRISTIAN – YOU ARE REJECTING JESUS.
• SEXUALLY IMMORAL.
• IDOLATERS.
• HOMOSEXUALS.
• THIEVES.
• GREEDY.
• DRUNKARDS.
• REVILERS.
• SWINDLERS.
1 Corinthians 6:11 says, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
AS A CHRISTIAN – YOU NEED TO ACCEPT GOD’S FORGIVENESS – AND START NEW. IF YOU HAVE HAD SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE – TODAY – YOU CAN START ANEW AND SAVE YOURSELF FOR THE DAY YOU GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU ARE A BELIEVER IN CHRIST.
Romans 6:1-4 says, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”
IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN – IF YOU TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOR AND LORD - YOU AND I CAN BE DIFFERENT!!!! YOU CAN CHANGE!!!! YOU CAN HAVE VICTORY!!!! AMEN?
IF YOU SAY YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN – YOU JUST DON’T KEEP DOING WHAT YOU USED TO DO BEFORE YOU WERE SAVED. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO PLEASE GOD, BECAUSE GOD’S SPIRIT LIVES IN YOU AND CAN HELP YOU STAY PURE.
Illustration:
After a violent storm one night, a large tree, which over the years had become a stately giant, was found lying across the pathway in a park. Nothing but a splintered stump was left.
Closer examination showed that is was rotten at the core because thousands of tiny insects had eaten away at its heart. The weakness of that tree was not brought on by the sudden storm; it began the very moment the first insect nested within its bark.
(Our Daily Bread).
Application:
IN A SIMILAR WAY, YOU MAY LOOK GOOD ON THE OUTSIDE TO EVERYONE ELSE BUT YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF ON THE INSIDE IF YOU ARE ENGAGING IN SEX – OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE.
YOU AND I MUST GUARD OUR PURITY – WE MUST RESERVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE. ENGAGE IN SEX IN THE RIGHT PLACE – WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED.
IF YOU ARE A BELIEVER – AND YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL SIN – SIN OUTSIDE OF GOD’S PLAN – THEN YOU MAY NEED SOME HELP, SOME ENCOURAGEMENT, DON’T BE AFRIAD TO ASK ME TO HELP YOU.
MEN – IF YOU NEED HELP, YOU CAN COME TO ME, JAY OR JEFF.
IF YOU ARE A LADY – SEEK CHARLENE OR SOMEONE LIKE JUDY BENDER – THEY CAN HELP YOU.
LASTLY: YOU WILL DEFEND YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST THE DESTRUCTIVENESS OF ADULTERY IF YOU:
III. Enjoy Sex With The Right Passion (Proverbs 5:18-19).
Christian author, Tim Lahaye says, “Designed by God for man’s good, the act of marriage can be a husband and wife’s most sublime expression of love” (How to be Happy Though Married, Pg. 52).
In other words, if you have sex for the right purpose (as a gift from God), in the right place (within marriage), you will enjoy sex.
PROVERBS 5:19-19 ENCOURAGES MARRIED COUPLES TO HAVE GREAT SEX WITHIN THEIR MARRIAGE.
YES - SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED!
Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe.”
JUST THE LANGUAGE THE WRITER USES SHOWS US HOW BEAUTIFUL SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN IS IN GOD’S SIGHT!
YOUR WIFE IS A GRACEFUL DOE!
SHE IS TO BE ENJOYED BY YOU AND YOU ONLY!
Verse 19 says, “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
TWO REASONS TO ENJOY SEX WITH THE RIGHT PASSION IN MARRIAGE.
THE FIRST REASON IS:
A. TO PLEASE YOUR GOD.
I WANT YOU TO DRAW IN THE HOUSE WITH THE MAN AND WOMAN – A CROSS.
“This beautiful portrayal of marital joy assumes a godly marriage. Sexual union is meant to be an expression of love between a husband and a wife who are committed to each other and to God. As both fulfil their God-given roles in marriage and sacrificially care for each other, the sexual union takes place naturally and joyfully” (Opening Up Proverbs).
YOU CAN BE MARRIED –even be Christians who are married and be unhappy sexually.
SEXUAL RELLATIONS BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING, IT IS A GOOD THINGS, IT IS PLEASING TO THE LORD.
Sexual relations in marriage are just as holy as praying, reading the bible, tithing, or teaching a Sunday School class.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
SEXUAL INTIMACY SHOULD BE DONE – WITH THE GOAL OF PLEASING GOD. THIS PRINCIPLE SHOULD GOVERN YOUR SEX LIFE.
THE SECOND REASON IS:
B. TO PLEASE YOUR SPOUSE.
• DON’T MAKE IT A CHORE – SOMETHING TO CHECK OFF A LIST.
• DON’T MAKE IT A SELFISH ACT – THINKING ONLY OF YOURSELF. SEXUAL INTIMACY IS TO BE A SELFLESS ACT OF LOVE - FOCUSING ON YOUR SPOUSE’S NEEDS NOT JUST YOUR OWN.
• DON’T FORGET THE POWER OF TEMPTATION – REGULAR RELATIONS – HELPS KEEP THE LABIDO IN CHECK – FOR BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE.
1 Corinthians 7:2-3 says, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
MEN – THIS MEANS THAT WE NEED TO WORK ON HELPING OUR WIFE AROUND THE HOUSE WITH CHORES, HELPING HER CLEAN UP, GIVE HER A LITTLE LOVE - COMPLIMENTS.
IF YOU COME IN AND PLOP YOURSELF DOWN AND EXPECT TO BE SERVED ALL NIGHT – THEN YOU WONDER WHY DOES SHE HAVE A HEAD ACHE???
COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVE BEEN SELFISH ALL NIGHT?
Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
HUSBANDS NEED TO BE THE LOVER OF THEIR WIFE NOT JUST THE LEADER OF THEIR HOME.
“When married people honor and respect sex as God instructs them in His Word, they can experience increasing enjoyment and enrichment in their intimacy” (Be Skillful, Wiersbe).
IF YOU FOCUS ON THE RIGHT PASSION – TO GLORIFY GOD AND TO PLEASE EACH OTHER – THERE IS GOING TO BE FIREWORKS!!!! THAT IS ALL I AM GOING TO SAY!!!
THERE ARE A COUPLE OF HELPFUL RESOURCES TO HELP MARRIED COUPLES ON THE DETAILS OF A MORE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE LISTED ON YOUR HANDOUT THIS MORNING. PURCHASE THEM – READ THEM TOGETHER AS A HUSBAND AND WIFE.
I WANT TO ENCOURAGE THE MARRIED HERE TODAY TOO: Defend Your Marriage Against The Destructiveness Of Adultery By Working On Improving The Sexual Intimacy Between You And Your Spouse.
HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD BIBILICALLY:
I. Embrace Sex For The Right Purpose.
II. Engage In Sex In The Right Place.
III. Enjoy Sex With The Right Passion.
Illustration:
HOLD UP A PEPSI CAN (OR COKE) - AND A PLAIN COFFEE URN.
IN THE CAN PUT BLACK PAINT - IN THE URN CLEAR WATER.
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE BASED ON OUTWARD APPEARANCE? PEPSI.
WHEN YOU POUR THEM OUT (INTO A CLEAR JAR) - THE PEPSI IS BLACK AND THE URN IS PURE, CLEAR, CLEAN.
Application:
SATAN WANTS YOU TO THINK THAT SEX OUTSIDE OF WHAT GOD ALLOWS IS GOOD - PLEASING - NO CONSEQUENCES - BUT IT IS SINFUL, BRINGS GUILT, SHAME, AND DEFILES YOU.
GOD WANTS YOU TO ENJOY SEX – BUT ONLY WITHIN THE BONDS OF MARRIAGE. IT IS GOOD, PURE, CLEAN, AND ENJOYABLE.
ARE YOU DEFENDING YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST THE TEMPTATIONS OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY, THE TEMPTATION TO COMMIT ADULTERY – ONE WAY TO DO THIS – NOT THE ONLY WAY – BUT ONE WAY IS BY ENJOYING SEX THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT – WITHIN MARRIAGE – SO DRINK UP!!!
