Road Trip #5 – Construction Zone
Ephesians 6:1-4 (p. 816) August 10, 2014
Introduction:
In this road trip we call life everything changes when we get passengers in the car with us. Life is radically different when we’re 18 and decide to take off for Florida and when we’re 27 or 28 and now married with a 3 year old and 5 year old...(Are we there yet? He’s touching me!”)
I’ll never forget my family’s road trips. My dad and mom must have been two of the most courageous people (or insane) people who ever lived. When I was 6 and Barby was 13 and Sammy was 16 we took a 4 week trip headed out west in a small Dodge van. The Corn Palace, the Grand Canyon, The Rose Bowl and Disney Land...what kind of impact did that have on me? I’m 54 years old and still have clear joyful memories of that road trip 48 years later. But those foundational memories go beyond vacations on the road.
I had the privilege to have a mom and dad who were engaged with their children. Church and Sunday School were the expected norm every Sunday and Wednesday. I saw their faces at my games or at Big Elm on Saturday playing golf or fishing at Big Boy’s pond. There were priorities that clearly drove my mom and dad. God, Family, country, hard work. By word and action my brother and sister and I knew we were one of the highest priorities.
It breaks my heart to see the effects of absentee parents, or even worse abusive or apathetic parents. Listen, I know there are circumstances that some cannot control or decisions we made when we’re young that affect parenting and the ability to control every aspect of it. Divorce not only changes homes, it changes priorities, weekends, and future arrangements. 4 or 5 people are now making decisions with different goals, different baggage and different levels of maturity.
The sins of our past can always be forgiven and cleansed in the blood of Christ. But that doesn’t mean the circumstances of the present instantly become perfect.
I’m thankful that when the Apostle Paul writes his letters to the churches he’s addressing real people who are in real situations, and at different places in their circumstances when they come to know Christ. Take for instance, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians...people who come from sexual sin, immorality, idolatry...from living like the world...in situations where there was a past and sometimes consequences. He lets them know their sin is “washed, cleansed and sanctified.” (1 Cor. 6:11) But, in the very next chapter, chapter 7, he deals with their consequences. Some are single or single again. Some are married or married again. Some live with unbelievers and some with believers...and his point “nevertheless (great word), each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, this is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”
Short paraphrase: You’re forgiven, but God called you and you answered at this time in your life...LIVE YOUR FAITH NOW!
Start building a Kingdom life right now...right where you are. Your life has become a construction zone for God’s glory.
And Paul lets the Ephesians and us know what the first brick is in constructing a Godly home.
I. LEARN WHAT’S RIGHT AND LIVE IT
“Children obey your parents...Honor your father and mother...Fathers bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Paul starts with God’s plan...a Father and Mother (Parents)
The ideal is “Set the rules...the boundaries” for living. This teaches respect for authority.
The ideal is a godly woman painting that picture and a godly man doing the same. And since every team needs a quarterback – Fathers...learn the truth...and lead your wife and children...like Jesus leads you.
[There’s a great song by Sanctus Real that says:
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling But on the inside, I can hear her saying...
"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...
"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone]
I’ve had this conversation with both of my sons, with Rodney (Cyndi’s husband) and I will have it with Karissa’s future husband. “Lead your family to heaven.” Ball trophies are nice, they make us proud and stroke our egos as dads, but the only trophy that really matters is that you get your wife and children to heaven as much as it’s possible for you, not doing that is failure! It takes a godly man, seeking the truth and living it out loud in his home to do that.]
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I can’t hear what you’re saying, because what you’re doing speaks so loudly.”
Telling our families that God is important...living it as truth speaks much more loudly.
Why is that important in the construction zone we call a family? Because:
II. ALL CHILDREN HAVE A REBEL HEART
Honor, obey, respect...it’s the first of the 10 commandments with a promise. Honor your parents so: 1) it may go well with you and 2) so you may enjoy long life on earth.
We will either learn to respect authority as children or we will spend the rest of our lives rejecting it and fighting it.
Mark Twain said, “when I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21 I was astonished at how much he’d learned in the last 7 years.”
All children are selfish because all people have a sinful nature...that nature explodes on steroids in our teenage, independent fighting years.
Mark Twain also has a theory about raising children and the teenage years. He said, “when your child turns 13 put them in a barrack and feed them through a knothole, when they turn 16 plug up the knothole!”
Our children are rebels...because of our rebellious nature, so are all parents...it’s our job to learn respect and teach it to our children...we learn it best from the way God treats us. Listen:
HEBREWS 12:5-11 (p. 844)
God doesn’t punish us because He’s a control freak...dictator. He disciplines us to train us, shape us, teach us, protect us.
What happens when children never have this building block? There is no respect for authority. Life becomes constant rebellion by word and deed. And it doesn’t go well...and a long life isn’t too sure.
And I understand we, like Paul’s audience, live in a very broken culture. God’s ideal didn’t exist or doesn’t exist for many...weekend dads or part time families, single parents, both mom and dad working long hours!
Please begin now where you are to share God’s grace and His truth...to yourself and your children. Become the man or woman that God will use in whatever situation you’re in to shape those around you for salvation.
Don’t let anger be the number one way you influence people.
Ephesians 6:4 says “do not exasperate your children.” It’s a big word that means “nag and scold.”
It’s hard in our fast pace world not to reach the boiling point in a hurry. In fact some have learned...anger is a great way to control...not just children but it works in other relationships. If I get angry, my children do it, or I get my own way. So, we teach our children anger works. It exasperates our children and others, but I get what I want. Maybe, but it’s at the expense of your faith and your example. “If you’ve been high maintenance for 30 years, it’s time you were told to shut up.”
Parents are called to teach children how to respect authority and relate to others in a healthy way. Godly moms and dads say that their example is a heavenly Father. I’m glad his primary motivation was love...not anger.
Let me end with the most important aspect of any building project.
III. JESUS MUST BE THE FOUNDATION
Paul said
1 CORINTHIANS 3:10-11 (p. 794)
God’s plan includes only one foundation that will support your life and your family for eternity and that’s Jesus.
In fact Jesus tells a story in Matthew 7. It concludes the Sermon on the Mount. Here’s what He says:
MATTHEW 7:24-27 (p. 679)
Jesus’ teachings aren’t just wise saying or nice philosophies. We believe they are the Word of God...foundational for life.
And He says...whatever foundation you choose to build on will determine what happens to your home when the storms of life come.
Both homes face storms and floods. Only one home remains solid after the monsoon!
God’s first institution was the family. “In the beginning God created the heaven’s and the earth” but “he created man and woman in His image” to support each other, and care for His creation.”
It’s the foundation for healthy relationships in any culture or society. 1 man...1 woman the building blocks for God’s glory.
It’s what Satan has attacked and will continue to attack with furry. He will continually try to get people to exchange the truth of God for a lie. And why will he be sooooo successful? Because we’re all rebels who by nature want to reject God’s authority. Go your own way isn’t just a Fleetwood Mac song, it’s the journey every man, every woman takes. “We are like sheep who have turned away”...each of us have gone our own way.
[When I’m dead, whether that’s next week or in 30 years I want my wife and children to say, “He was so stubborn, ornery. He told stupid jokes...stomped when he walked through the house. He was such a “hick” at times. He wore more camouflage than tuxedos but...
He tried to love me like Jesus. He let us see his priorities even in the struggles of his imperfections. He led us to really know Jesus and because of that we have no doubt about where he is...and because he’s there we don’t want to go to heaven less. We want to go to heaven more! He started this construction and we look forward to God finishing it.]
