THE CHOICES WE MAKE
We are now in Genesis 38.
This is the story of Judah and Tamar.
Not too many preachers talk about this chapter because this is like a parenthesis from the story of Joseph.
One whole chapter devoted about the life and sin of Judah while Joseph was sold to Potiphar in Egypt.
In this chapter, we will talk about the CHOICES or DECISIONS we make.
Life is all about choices.
Do you know that our choices will affect our future destiny?
Many times, we make the wrong choices and ultimately these choices affect our lives.
There will be consequences for every bad choice.
Sometimes it is too late but we realized we have made big mistakes.
And when we make those mistakes in life, it is very difficult to recover and make a first start.
There are people who have not actually recovered and are not able to get up.
What is life?
They say it is from B to D.
From Birth to Death.
But what is between B and D?
It is "C".
So, what is a "C?"
It is a CHOICE.
Our life is a matter of choices.
Live well and it never go wrong.
Every choice you make will affect your future.
And so, in order to avoid the bad choices of life, we must learn to examine the good options of life from God's Word.
We have to look carefully at life's various choices.
There are good possibilities ahead if only you will open your eyes.
You can choose life instead of death.
You can choose health instead of sickness.
You can choose wealth instead of poverty.
You can choose wisdom instead of foolishness.
The alternative are endless.
Sad to say that many people have not discovered these great possibilities in God's Word.
In this chapter, we will focus at two things only that can affect our everyday choices.
Both starts with letter R - RELATIONSHIPS and RESPONSIBILITIES.
These two things are important.
Relationships concerns the people we associate with.
These are the people we choose to connect or involved with in our lives.
Once we make a choice on who they are, they can big impact to our future destiny.
While responsibilities refer to our personal obligations to God and family.
It refers to our reliability or dependability to our Christian duties in the home.
Most of us are good in the office but not good in the way we handle our families.
There are other things to consider in making the right choice, but due to limited time, these are the two most important things we will consider at this time.
These are the things that can affect our future.
These are the things that we can learn from this chapter of Genesis.
When we make the right choices with regards to our relationships and our responsibilities, then we do well with our dreams.
But when we made wrong choices in these two areas of our lives, we destroy our future legacy to others.
So, let us move on and learn from the life of Judah and Tamar.
HOW DO WE KNOW THAT WE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE?
1. CONCERNING OUR RELATIONSHIPS. When we acquire ungodly character traits though wrong associations.
Genesis 38:1-6 "At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullamnamed Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and made love to her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan.5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him. 6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death."
Look at those words: look, went down and stay.
These are signs of deterioration, degeneration and decay.
He left his brother's company.
He went down.
He stayed down.
This is a picture of a person enjoying his association with a wrong company.
The first thing we can notice here is that Judah had wrong associations with ungodly society.
He was declining in his spiritual life and he has not noticed it.
His situation was worsening over time.
The Bible says that he enjoyed, he took pleasure and appreciated his stay in the area.
He became so comfortable that he lingered, he remained and he settled there too long to marry a woman of the place and had children.
As he rubbed shoulder to shoulder with its people, he acquired their habits, their lifestyles, their practices and their wickedness.
Later on, he gave birth to his first born son, Err.
The text says that his son was so wicked in the sight of the Lord that God put him to death right away.
The reason: Judah made a wrong choice with regards to the kind of people to associate.
He suffered the consequences of his choice and it brought disaster to his family
You see, we need to learn some spiritual truths from this incident.
1. Don't pick up ungodly habits.
Proverbs 22:24-25 "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."
First of all, I am not saying that associating with wicked people is bad.
No. That is not what I am implying.
We can associate with them but we should not acquire their habits, their lifestyles and their worldly practices.
The Bible says that we should be in the world but not of the world.
There is a big difference.
We live in a society with all kinds of people, but we should not be contaminated by their evil behavior or conduct.
If we are strong in our faith, wrong association will not ever happen.
Because we know our God and we remain faithful to Him.
The problem is when our spiritual knowledge is very much limited.
The problem is when we have not distinguished the difference between godly behavior from evil attitude.
When that happens, we just absorb whatever we see other people is doing and acquire them as our very own.
Brothers and sisters, that will not help you succeed in life.
That will not help you succeed in your dreams.
That will not help you in the choices you make.
Don't pick up ungodly habits.
2. Know your limits.
2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
Secondly, we must know our limits when we associate with wicked people.
What does that mean?
It means, there had to be boundaries that you should place.
There must be imaginary perimeters, borders or lines that you should set up between you and your partnership with evil society.
When you know that your Christian conviction is being compromised, then it is time to back off.
When you know that your Christian testimony is being corrupted, then it is time to pull back.
When you know that you are about to cross that imaginary line, then, retreat.
You must always protect at all times the Christian principles that you adhere to.
When you do that, you are avoiding the mistake of making wrong choices in life.
That is the mistake that Judah made in this chapter.
He was not holding on to any godly convictions that his mind was occupied by strong ungodly presence.
He did not know his limits.
He keeps on pushing forward.
Brothers and sisters, that will not help you succeed in life.
That will not help you fulfill your dreams.
That will not help you in the choices you make.
Know your limits and stand on guard.
3. Build your godly character
2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV) "For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge,
self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love."
The next thing to do is to build our character.
That is the only defense that can withstand the attack of ungodly influence.
Building our character starts with our thoughts.
We ask God to purify our thoughts and the desires of our hearts.
As we study God's Word, we refuse to allow the sin to spread in our minds and we ask God to cleanse us daily.
Then, we build layer by layer the foundation for the fruit of the Spirit.
We grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.
We allow love to prevail in everything we do and we become sensitive to God's commands.
Building character takes time but ultimately, it is the most important investment of our time in this life.
4. Bring them to Christ.
Acts 22:15 (NIV) "You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard."
Thirdly, instead of allowing your friends to influence your life, you must influence them for Christ.
At the start of any friendship, you must let them know that you are a Christian.
Once they know where you stand, they will back off and you must be on the offensive.
The goal should be to bring people to Christ.
The desire should be to share the gospel of salvation to them.
You must tell them that we are all sinners.
That we cannot save ourselves.
That Christ came to die for our sins.
That if we confess Christ as Lord and Savior, he will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
That is the good News.
We need not die in our sins.
We need Christ to save us.
When you share Christ to others, you are avoiding the mistake of a conversation that is shallow and worldly.
Brothers and sister, sharing Christ to others will help you make the right choices in life.
It will help you fulfill your dreams and look forward to something good ahead.
Scriptures on the power of association:
I Corinthians 15:33 (NIV) "Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."
Proverbs 14:6-7 (NIV) "The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning. Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips."
Illustration: THINGS THAT DETERIORATE
If we do not properly maintain these things, these will start to deteriorate.
Things That Deteriorate
1. TEXTURE of any surface through time will worn out and ebb.
2. BUILDINGS if not properly maintained will decline and crumble.
3. ART that is not carefully preserved will languish and fade.
4. HOUSE without any dwellers will disintegrate and worsen
5. RELATIONSHIPS that is not developed will fall apart and worsen
2. CONCERNING OUR RESPONSIBILITIES. When we are unable to fulfill our Christian obligations to God and family.
In our story, we find Judah experiencing several deaths in the family.
And in the midst of these deaths, he was not able to fulfill his responsibility as the head of his household.
Genesis 38:7 "But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the Lord's sight; so the Lord put him to death.'
Genesis 38:9-10 "But Onan knew that the child would not be his....What he did was wicked in the Lord's sight; so the Lord put him to death also."
Genesis 38:12 "After a long time, Judah's wife, the daughter of Shua, died."
Notice the three deaths in the family in the first twelve verses of this chapter alone.
That is a lot of grieving for the family.
One loved one lost after another.
God was surely trying to communicate to him.
But Judah was not able to take heed of God's message.
What do you do when disaster comes?
Do you know that situations like these make families to become united and closer to each other?
When loved ones die, family support is important.
It is the time to find comfort and strength from each other's company.
At the same time, when tragedies do happen, people turn to God to ask for help and guidance.
When disaster strikes, it is natural for people to repent and make some changes in life.
They realized that they made some mistakes and it is time to seek God and inquire about His plans.
Tragedies have a way of reminding us that we have responsibilities to each other.
But that is not what happened to the life of Judah in this story.
When the Lord took his first born son because he did what was wicked in the Lord's sight, Judah did not care.
There was no grieving.
There was no sign of repentance.
There was no sign of humility, nor acknowledging that it is time to change.
It is time to unite his family and support each other.
There was no such thing in the life of Judah.
He continued to live as if nothing significant has happened.
He was not able to seek God's will for his life.
He was not able to fulfill his parental responsibility.
And so, Judah was not able to give sufficient spiritual counsel to his second son, Onan.
Onan was not properly warned about what God wants and what God don't want.
And so, he did what he thought was right in his own sight.
But he did not know that what he did was evil in the sight of God.
God took his second son.
By this time, Judah should have pondered and learned his lessons well.
But again, Judah was not able to make the necessary changes with his life and his parental responsibility.
He did not seek God's counsel.
He did not change his ways.
He was not able to fulfill his obligation to God and to his family.
And so, God took his wife.
But after grieving for some time, Judah went out to Timnah and look for a prostitute.
And this incident again brought some humiliating effect to his family.
This is a sad story about a man who was supposed to fulfill his duties and responsibilities.
My prayer is that these things will not happen to each one of us.
But those things can only happen if we are not aware of our Christian responsibilities.
So, what are our responsibilities in the family?
Fathers have the responsibility to take care of our families.
We provide for our families and we give them wise counsel and advice.
The Bible says that fathers should not provoke their children to anger.
That means, we do not make our children resentful, bitter or discouraged.
For instance, many children have been provoked to anger because their fathers are absent when they are most needed.
Children have been provoked when fathers are abusive both physically and emotionally.
Children have been provoked when fathers are so demanding or hypocritical.
He demands things to his family that he does not demand of himself.
All these things can provoke a child to wrath and must be avoided.
Mothers on the other hand have the responsibility of loving their children.
They manage heir household well and provide spiritual training to their children.
They teach the Scriptures and train their children to develop skills.
they teach the fear of the Lord in a loving but firm manner.
They nurture by providing an environment of constant verbal support.
They model with integrity through godly living.
Homes are blessed when fathers and mothers fulfill their responsibilities well.
But you must remember one thing important.
No home is perfect.
And as fathers and mothers, we often fall short in many ways in the way we discipline and train our children.
But with the grace and mercy of God, we can do better.
We can learn from our past mistakes.
When we give our children the guidance that they need, we may succeed where we have failed.
Scriptures on responsibilities of Parents:
Col. 3:21 (NIV) "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
2 Cor. 12:14 (NIV) "Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children."
1 Tim. 5:8 (NIV) "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
