James and Lydia Ramseyer Wedding
July 12, 2014
11:00 a.m.
Over the years I’ve reinforced three expectations for our daughters whenever they would talk about getting married.
#1. Only marry a sold-out Christ-follower. Check.
#2. Absolutely no outdoor weddings. Check.
#3. I want to be your daddy, not the pastor who does your wedding. Two out of three isn’t bad.
Actually, I’m honored that you asked me to bring the message. And I’m glad that Lon is doing all the “official” elements so I can just focus on the joy of watching God do His work here.
A couple months ago Beth and I drove out to Quantico with Lydia to spend some time with James. We toured his base, went to the Marine Museum and then he took us out for some fantastic steaks where we talked about the wedding. I asked him a question about what he was expecting for the message. James told me that he went to a wedding where the pastor preached a 45-minute Christ-centered sermon. I assumed that he didn’t want theirs that long so I said, “So, you don’t want anything real preachy or long, right?” He quickly replied, “Actually, I do want it Christ-centered, preachy and long!”
I’ll aim for two out of three because I don’t think the rest of us can handle long today…
Becca just read from the Book of Ecclesiastes, which is a journal that describes the journey King Solomon took in his search for significance and meaning in life. He experimented with everything he could think of in the hopes of finding fulfillment. Most of what he dove into like pleasure, partying, and the pursuit of possessions left him feeling flat and unsatisfied. He described it as chasing after the wind. Everything was empty until he reflected on relationships in chapter 4…
We see five foundations for marriage in these verses. Not surprisingly to those who know me, they all begin with the same letter – “W” – for wedding: working, walking, warming, withstanding, and worshipping.
1. Working. Verse 9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” A marriage won’t make it without a lot of work but there’s a reward when both work together.
Marriage is often described as “getting hitched.” That makes me think of two animals yoked together and hitched to a heavy wagon. Did you know that one Belgian draft horse is able to pull 8,000 pounds? However, if two horses are trained to work together in a harness they can pull 32,000 pounds! Two together can accomplish four times as much when they work as one! That’s the power of synergy. A good relationship has a good return on its labor.
James and Lydia, your marriage will take work but you will find fruit as you toil together.
God has brought you together not just for your own enjoyment but also to work for His glory, and for the good of others.
2. Walking. Listen to verse 10: “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Solomon next describes this committed companionship as walking together. There were a lot of risks traveling by foot in Palestine.
This is a great illustration because marriage is like a trip or a journey. When a bride and groom are joined to each other in marriage they covenant to travel life’s road together.
James and Lydia, as you walk together there will be potholes and loose gravel and confusing paths. You may falter and you may fall but you have each other to hold the weaker one up at those times.
Marriage involves working and it involves walking. There’s a third benefit…
3. Warming. The nights back then were very cold so the couple after working and walking would need some warming. We see this in verse 11: “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”
See your spouse as your companion, as one who completes you, and who you are to live in communion with. When you do, God will bring warmth to you.
After describing the roles in marriage, the Apostle Paul gives a one-verse summary of each of your responsibilities in Ephesians 5:33: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
James, your word is love. Love Lydia with all that you have, loving her like you love yourself, and even more. Help her to know that she is secure in your love.
Lydia, your word is respect. Honor James and look up to him. Respect him and celebrate his significance.
When each of you fulfill your roles, and put each other’s interests before your own, God will bring warmth to your relationship.
4. Withstanding. As you work, walk and warm each other, you will also be called upon to withstand because there will be many forces working against your marriage. Verse 12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.”
That’s why it’s so important that you will be making vows to God and to each other today. You are entering into a covenant that is unconditional, irrevocable and unbreakable.
Listen to these words from the next chapter in Ecclesiastes 5:4-6: “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”
In the Old Testament a covenant ceremony was used between two tribes to promise a son or daughter in marriage. The fathers would butcher two animals, cut the carcasses in half, and then at sundown walk barefoot through the blood path. The slaughtered animals symbolized what would happen to either party if they violated the terms of the covenant.
A covenant was an exclusive, solemn and binding mutual agreement between two parties. In God’s eyes, marriage is a covenant of committed companionship, not simply a contract.
God’s objective for marriage is a loving relationship of oneness. Jesus said it this way in Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Be vigilant to guard your vows and determine to keep them, even when your feelings fade…and they will.
James and Lydia, as you wind your way through life, you have the comfort and strength of each other as lifelong traveling companions so that you can withstand anything.
5. Worshipping. I am completely confident that you will strive to work together and walk in unity and warm each other and withstand difficulties. How can I be so sure? Because each of you have centered your lives on worshipping Jesus Christ! And you are committed to have Christ at the middle of your marriage. I love the last phrase of verse 12: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Solomon’s illustration of a rope made of three strands is brilliant. A single strand will easily break under pressure. Two strands provide a bit more strength.
[Hold up two ropes and wrap them around each other]
Actually, it’s really difficult to braid two ropes together because they keep unraveling. Left alone they will come apart.
[Demonstrate ropes unraveling]
If you choose to do life apart from the Lord and try to hold things together on your own, things will unravel. But when you allow Christ to wrap Himself around each of you individually and then weave Himself in and through your marriage, you will have a marriage of oneness that will not be easily broken.
James and Lydia, marriage is not heaven. Your spouse is not your savior. If you look for fulfillment in each other you will be very disappointed because you’ve been designed to live your lives with Christ at the center. A marriage of two cords is insufficient; but a three-cord marriage is indestructible. This is where two out of three is not so good…don’t settle for a marriage of two but for a marriage of three.
Rope Ceremony
The braiding of these three stands demonstrates how James and Lydia are being joined by God in marriage. Each strand holds special meaning.
The Purple Strand represents the groom [hold up and hand to James]. As a new creation in Christ, the majesty of the Groom is represented in purple. As James loves Lydia and submits himself to the Lord, the Lord in turn will demonstrate His great love through him in their marriage as he lovingly leads Lydia.
The White Strand represents the bride [hold up and hand to Lydia]. Having been cleansed by salvation in Christ, the purity of the Bride is represented in white. As Lydia respects James and submits to his loving leadership, Jesus will nurture and strengthen their marriage.
[James and Lydia braid their cords with the gold cord]
The Gold Strand symbolizes that the Lord Jesus Christ has been invited by James and Lydia to the position of authority in their marriage. Both of them are born again believers and are striving to live fully surrendered lives to Him. They know that it takes three to make their marriage work. When Christ is woven into the center of two lives that are surrendered to the Savior, the three form an unbreakable cord.
[Place braided rope on Unity Candle Table]
James and Lydia long for each of you to know the God whom they worship. The Bible uses the metaphor of marriage to demonstrate the relationship Jesus Christ wants to have with each one of us. It’s as if Jesus is the bridegroom and all who hear Him are his prospective brides.
Jesus wants each of us to open our lives to Him. He’s waiting for you to say, “I will” to Him. Will you love Him and honor Him? Will you trust Him to forgive your sins and give you eternal life? He’s already done it all. You just need to say, “I do” to Him. Believe and receive Him into your life today.
After reflecting on the foundation of a committed covenant relationship where working, walking, warming, withstanding and worshipping are prominent, Solomon concludes his search for meaning with these words in Ecclesiastes 12: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Life is empty, and even marriage is meaningless, unless we fear God, keep His commandments, and put Christ at the center of it all.
James, Lydia and the Lord…three out of three… that’s how its meant to be!
Prayer
O great God of love, you have established marriage and only with you can it be worked out with joy.
We ask that you would bless James. Bless him as provider and protector. Sustain him in his service as a Marine. May his strength be her protection, his character be her joy and assurance. May he so live that she may find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs.
Please bless Lydia. Thank you for her tenderness towards you and towards James. Give her a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in You. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades. May she so live that he may be pleased to always treasure her.
Teach them that marriage is not living for each other but a uniting and joining of hands to serve You, the living God. Give them a great spiritual purpose in life. May they seek first the kingdom that is yours, and its righteousness, so that all other things may be added unto them. Loving you first, they shall love each other all the more. And faithful unto You, faithful unto each other they will remain.
May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to You. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths, and see each other through a lover’s kind and gracious eyes.
Give them a little something to forgive each day, that they may grow in the grace of long-suffering and love. And may they be as forbearing with each other as You are with them.
Make such assignments to them according to Your will that will bless them and develop their character as they work, walk, warm, withstand and worship together. Give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them humble, enough of failure to keep their hands clenched tightly in Yours, and enough fruit to display your glory as they point people to Jesus Christ.
May they serve You joyfully, fully, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other in Your arms. This we ask through our Savior, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Master of Marriage, our great lover of souls. Amen.
