The Art of Biblical Manliness
1 Kings 2:1-4
Recently, there has been a revival of sorts regarding all kinds of things which one might call “manly”.
The “Art of Manliness” has come to regard anything which might be considered a manly pursuit.
It includes things like:
Grooming a beard.
Tying a necktie.
Giving a proper handshake.
Building a campfire.
Sharpening a pocketknife.
There are books, websites, videos and countless blog articles all devoted to this resurgence of all things “manly”.
This has come partly as a response to the attempt of some to radically feminize men.
For many years, “manly” pursuits have been considered almost evil by those who promote a radical form of feminism.
During the radical feminist movement which sprung up in the 60s and 70s, men were often portrayed as the enemy and masculinity was seen as something to be eliminated.
During the Clinton administration, Duke University law professor Madeline Morris, advised the military to eliminate its “masculinist attitudes” such as “dominance, assertiveness, aggressiveness, independence, self-sufficiency, and willingness to take risks.”
There has been an obvious attempt by some in society to suppress anything which might be described as “Manly”.
Manliness not something which should be stifled or eliminated.
Manliness is a gift from God.
God did not create men to be women, nor did He create women to be men.
God created us with natural differences which are meant to complement each other.
Back on Mother’s Day, I taught a message on biblical womanhood.
Today is Father’s Day and we are going to address the “Art of Manliness” from a biblical perspective.
We are going to address the question: What is Biblical Manliness?
There are many places in scripture wherein manliness - or being a man - is commended as virtuous and something worthy of pursuit.
1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
1 Corinthians 16:13 “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
When the Lord was preparing Job to answer His questions, he admonished him to “Dress for action, like a man.” (Job 38:3)
So there is an inherent virtue in men behaving as men.
But Biblical manliness involves much more that what the world may see as virtues of manliness.
Worldly Manliness may be focused on things like handshakes and neckties... all of which can be good things... but these are all external things.
Biblical Manliness is concerned with the inner man, the true man, the heart of a man.
Biblical Manliness involves our Character
Biblical Manliness involves our Spiritual Maturity
Biblical Manliness involves our Sanctification
As we examine Biblical Manhood today, these will be the focuses of our attention.
We are going to begin our study at the deathbed of one of the greatest figures of the Old Testament, King David.
He is in the midst of commissioning his son to the throne, as he knows His death is imminent.
1 Kings 2:1-4 “When David's time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, [2a] “I am about to go the way of all the earth....
This phrase “the way of all the earth” is euphemistic, and it indicates that death is the way all things go eventually.
This was a good reminder which David is giving his son that all things in this world are ultimately temporary.
It also shows us what it most important to David.
When a man is on his deathbed, he has limited time to express his will.
So the words which he expresses are naturally going to be the words which are the most meaningful to him.
David says...
[2b] Be strong, and show yourself a man,
This is very similar to the apostolic language of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 16:13.
To “show yourself a man” had several implications, not the least of which was the demonstration of a strong character.
David then begins to outline what this “Manliness” would include first and foremost an obedience to the Word of God.
[3] and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn,
David also includes the Generational Promise as part of his commission to Solomon.
[4] that the LORD may establish his word that he spoke concerning me, saying, ‘If your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’”
So long as the sons would be obedient to God, there would be a perpetuation of the Davidic Kingdom in Israel.
This was David’s charge to his son - to maintain the instruction in the ways of God to the next generation.
We know Solomon was one who was especially blessed by God, having been granted a special gift of wisdom.
Yet, we also know that Solomon failed in many areas, including sin of the flesh (as had his father before him).
And the generations which followed Solomon were not obedient as David had admonished them to be.
As a result, after Solomon the nation of Israel split apart into two factions.
One was the Northern Kingdom of Israel, the other the Southern Kingdom of Judah.
Never again would the Kingdom see the glory that it had in an earthly King as it had in David and Solomon.
Only in Christ is the throne finally and perfectly restored.
What we have in this passage is a commission from a father to his son to continue in the ways of God.
He tells him to be strong like a man (v.2)
And then he tells him that true manliness comes in obedience to the Word of God (v.3-4).
The Apostle Paul describes MATURE MANHOOD in much the same way as did King David.
Ephesians 4:11-14 “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, [12] to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, [13] until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, [14] so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.”
Notice that Paul here tells us that Biblical Manliness is related to our maturity in our faith.
He provides for us a CONTRAST.
He contrasts “Mature Manhood” with “children”
And he says that the child -( i.e. the spiritually immature )- is the person who lacks a firm theological foundation.
The spiritual “children” are the ones who are “tossed to and fro...by every wind of doctrine.”
The obvious analogy here is to a ship without an anchor, which would never stay in one place for too long.
The anchor keeps the ship in one place, and ensures that it does not drift away.
Maturity in our faith is dependent on our DOCTRINAL “ANCHOR” and Biblical Manliness involves a DOCTRINALLY MATURE MAN.
This is a man who understands not only what he believes, but he also understands why he believes it.
He has a faith that can stand up to scrutiny.
This is not just a belief system he has inherited from his parents.
This is a faith which he can call his very own because he has invested the time needed to cultivate his own understanding of it.
Now, I want to address something else regarding David’s interaction with Solomon.
David is obviously concerned about the Kingdom.
But he is also concerned about his son.
He is seeking as best as possibly to ensure that his son does not fail in the same ways he did, and he knows the direction that he needs to be pointed ---> The Word of God.
This should stand as a reminded to we who are fathers about our responsibilities to our children.
We have the responsibility both to TEACH and MODEL the Word of God to our kids.
As the Father of the home, YOU are the PASTOR of your house.
“What the Pastor is to the Church, the Father is to the Home.”
QUOTE: Martin Luther “Abraham had in his tent a house of God and a church, just as today any godly and pious head of a household instructs his children in…godliness. Therefore such a house is actually a school and church and the head of the household is a bishop and priest in his house.”
I would like to make a comparison between Pastors and Fathers.
There are many types of pastors in the world, and what I have noticed is that there is a similarity between them and some fathers.
I don’t want to push this analogy too far, but I do see a connection; allow me to explain.
Prosperity Pastor - Man who preaches that health and wealth are the highest goals in life.
There are a lot of fathers whose greatest concern is the physical prosperity of their children - it may be financial, educational, social, sports, or any number of things.
Everything the father does is focused on this world, and there is no time for the things of God - they offer no immediate benefit.
Heretical Pastor - Man who preaches his opinion and experience as fact.
There are many fathers who choose to teach by their opinions which are not influenced by biblical truth.
He chooses to impart his own wisdom rather than the wisdom of God.
Hypocritical Pastor - Man who preaches one thing and does the opposite.
There are many fathers who demand their children behave in one way and yet model a totally contrary behavior.
It is important to realize that children are much more likely to conform to what they see than they are to what they are told.
There are a lot of other “types” of preachers, all of which could be seen as examples of fathers.
The point is that the father’s role in the home is a “PASTORAL” role, and much of the same failures that we see in pastors are also found in fathers.
So, WHAT type of pastor does the Bible commend?
One who loves Christ and seeks to be conformed to Him.
One who studies Scripture and seeks to lead and teach in accord with its precepts.
One who is mature in his behavior and seeks to be above reproach in his relationships.
This is the SAME type of Father the Bible commends us to be.
The Bible tells us the qualifications for a pastor.
This not a list of some specially sanctified group of super-Christians.
Instead, it is simply a list of what a MAN SHOULD BE.
1 Timothy 3:2-7 “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, [3] not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. [4] He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, [5] for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? [6] He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. [7] Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.”
There is NOTHING in this list which would not qualify as an aspiration for all men.
All Christian men should desire to be:
Above Reproach.
Faithful to his wife.
Sober thinking.
Self-controlled.
Respectable.
Hospitable.
Able to teach.
(This “aptitude” in teaching may not be in the sense of having the ability to preach to the body of the church, but you should know enough to guide your family biblically).
Likewise, all Christian men should avoid:
Drunkenness.
Quarrelsomeness.
Greed.
Conceit.
Some men may hear this message and say, Pastor this is just too hard; you are asking too much.
But let me counter such a thought with this: The majority of people who have a true desire to learn something will put our the necessary effort to learn it.
If a man wants to become good at golf, he will read books, watch videos, research techniques and spend more time on the golf course.
If a man wants to become a good marksman, he will read books, watch videos, research techniques and spend more time at the range.
If a man wants to become a good cook, he will read books, watch videos, research techniques and spend more time in the kitchen.
The point is that is we want to do something, we find a way.
But for some reason, when a man is challenged to get up and learn the Scripture so that he can better lead his family, he often looks at it as an insurmountable task.
Men say, “Well, my wife knows more than me, and I will never catch up.”
Let me address that directly.
There are some men whose wives have been believers longer, and it stands to reason she would know more.
First, this does not negate your role as the pastor of your home.
Second, there is a solution... STUDY THE WORD.
The man who has the desire to pastor his home will seek out and find the proper and necessary education he needs because it will be important to him.
There is too much good information out there available to us right now through books and videos and articles for any man to make the EXCUSE that he just can't learn enough to lead his family.
You have a job HUSBANDS and FATHERS.
It is more than just putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their heads.
You also have the task of filling their spirits with the nourishment of the Word of God.
Every husband is a small group minister.
Every father is a children’s minister.
Somebody might say, your church doesn't have a children's minister.
I would say yes we do, we have a whole bunch of them!
Every father in this room is tasked to be a children's minister and small group leader.
One of my favorite verses of Scripture is in 1 Corinthians.
1 Corinthians 14:33-35 “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, [34] the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. [35] If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
Many people hear that and assume Paul to be a chauvinist because they do not understand the context.
The context is speaking prophecy in the church.
The Bible secures the position of pastor/preacher to that of men (though this is often ignored or even spurned in many churches).
But the part that gets my attention in this passage is not Paul’s commission that women are to be silent in church.
What gets my attention is Paul telling married women to “ask their husbands” if they have questions.
Do you realize what the implication of that command is?
Paul is saying that our wives ought to be able to ask us questions and we be able to answer them!
While EXPLICITLY this is a commendation for women not to have roles of speaking authority in the assembly, IMPLICITLY, this is a call for men to pastor their homes.
Note: If a women doesn’t have a husband, the elders would be responsible to disciple her.
CONCLUSION: When David is there preparing for his death, his commission to his son was very simply when boiled down: Know and Obey the Commands of God.
The Word of God was the concern of David’s heart.
So, too, should the Word of God be the concern of every father’s heart when he considers his responsibility to his family.
Biblical Manliness comes from being a Biblical Man.
So, what are some practical things that you can begin doing as husbands and fathers to help cultivate your own Biblical Manliness?
Private Prayer - We need to be on our knees before God on behalf of our family every single day. Pray with your wives also, for your children. Get off your feet and get on your knees together and pray.
Family Worship - We need to lead our families in the reading of Scripture, times of devotion, praising God and prayer. Your children need to know what it is like to hear you praying for their salvation, praying for their godliness, praying for their protection.
Bible Study - We need to be in the Word, listening to good preaching, and seeking learned men to help us better understand the Word. As Jesus mentored his apostles, and then they mentored the next generation, so too do we need to be mentored in the Word.
Note: This is why we are starting the “Dads and Dudes” discipleship program here. I want to help teach men the Word that want to learn.
The world says a man is a good father if he keeps his children well fed, keeps a roof above them, and ensures they are getting a proper education.
And all these things are commendable; but they lack one vital thing: All of them can be done without reference to God.
There are many atheists who feed, shelter and educate their children well, but these children have no knowledge of God.
NOTE: It is better to be a pauper and obey the Word of God, than to be a King of thousands and live in rebellion against your Creator.
As Jesus asked, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” (Matthew 16:26)
Consider that for your family.
What good would it be for your child to be a doctor, or a sports star, or some other highly paid professional... and yet have no knowledge of the Word of God?
There is nothing in this world that you can teach your children which is more precious than the Word of God.
So, this morning I want to challenge all men that hear me.
I challenge you to take up the cause of Biblical Manliness.
To become the pastor or your home that your wife and children need.
It might be that this is impossible for you because you have yet to receive Christ yourself.
Is impossible to pass on what you don’t possess.
So, if that is the case, I want to pray for you directly.
I pray that Christian fathers would be the pastors of their home.
And that if you have not received Christ, that He would change your heart toward Him today.
