The Dad App
Father’s Day 2013
Video – The Dad Life Rap http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOKuSQIJlog
OKAY – now that was awesome… I don’t care who you are.
WELL TODAY – is Father’s Day… Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads out there…
AND – let me say a couple of things up front this morning…
#1 – I love being a dad. I really do. AND – my adventure into fatherhood began on March 20, 1984… (I was 6 years old @ the time)… Today I have three daughters (29,21,9 and 2 sons 7,25)
#2 – I know that Mother’s Day is the day that moms come to church and are honored… AND THAT – Father’s day, is traditionally the day dads come to church and are slapped around and told to step up because they are doing such a terrible job. DADS - we are not going to do that this morning.
#3 – I have always found that wearing the title of Father (one of the titles for our God) is an incredible honor and responsibility.
#4 – Dads (despite what modern culture and our secular media says) matter… A LOT! QUESTION… What do
• 90% of homeless and runaway children
• 63% of youth who commit suicide
• 80% of all rapist
• 85% of children with behavioral problems
• 71% of all high school dropouts
• 75% of all teens in chemical abuse centers
• 85% of all youth in prison
• 70% of all girls who become pregnant as teens
Have in common?
THEY ALL come from homes without a dad.
YEAH - I know there has been a lot of debate on the importance of fathers in the home in recent years. AND - let me say up front that though many single moms can and often, do a great job - it still does not diminish the importance of dad in the life of a child… I MEAN – it’s how the Creator of the universe wired, and set the system up….
OKAY… #5 – I recognize that just like with Mother’s day… father’s day can be pretty tough.
• MAYBE - you had a great dad and he is no longer here and you really miss him
• OR MAYBE - your dad was not around… OR MAYBE he was and things were not that good and it still kind of hurts
• OR MAYBE - you are a dad, and you are afraid that you are not measuring up.
YEAH – I recognize that holidays like Father’s Day come with an emotional charge.
AND
#6 – my goal today is to first and foremost honor God our heavenly Father and second honor our the dads in this room…
And when I say dads I am talking about…
Dads and step dads
Foster dads and adopted dads
NOW – I know it’s the weekend and it’s early.
SO MAYBE - you are here and you are not sure if you are a dad.
WELL is that’s case I would like to help you out a little…
If you have ever….
pretended you were asleep when you heard the baby crying
after finishing your super size Macdonald French fries began to invade your 4 years old happy meal…
started out a lecture to your kids on any topic with the following 6 words “back when I was your age...”
borrowed your sons car to take your wife out on a date in order to impress her
gave your teenage daughter a pair of sweat paints to wear over the new shorts she just had to have
tried to hurry along your wife’s labor on December 31st so you could get in that tax deduction
meet your 16 year olds daughter's boyfriend at the door with an assault rifle
If you have ever….
had your mouth full of vomit that didn’t come from your own stomach…
considered the creative use of duct tape as a behavior modification tool…
If the mean life expectancy of a $20 bill in your wallet has fallen to less than 5 seconds…
If the tiny bathroom with the locking door has become your last bastion and fortress of solitude…
Realized that it's been five years since you saw a movie that didn't have a talking animal in it...
Passed gas in the car and blamed it on your son
Allowed a group of 8 year old girls to paint your toenails
Found yourself hugging a 22 year old man whose wife has just left him
Became overwhelmed with emotion when a young boy asked you to baptize them
You just might be a dad
OKAY…
SO – are there any dads out there this morning?
NOW IF - you’re like most men… EVEN - those who had a poor or harmful experience with their own fathers - you have a general idea of the kind of father you want to be.
YEAH - you have a picture in your mind of the dad you would like to be…
I MEAN…
you want to be the kind of DAD whose children:
• feel secure, confident, loved and accepted
• save sex for marriage, and remain faithful to their spouse in marriage.
• develop a reputation as men and women of integrity, honesty, and a strong work ethic
• stand up to unhealthy peer pressure and develop healthy friendships
• say no to drugs and alcohol and risky behavior.
• quickly admit their mistakes, who are forgiving and patient with others and who enjoy a healthy sense of self- esteem and self confidence.
• Love God and put Him and His church at the center of their lives
• Who overhears his daughter saying to her friend, “When I get married, I want to marry someone just like my dad…”
• Whose children even when they are grown call you up, “I dad I am really struggling and could use some advice)
• whose children have a hard time picking out a fathers day card (not because they say too much but say too little)
YEAH THAT’S - the kind of father we all want to be. THAT’S - the kind of father I want to be. BUT – I know that I am not all I should be. AND - I also know that for me to do this I need a model, I need an example of a DAD that I can pattern myself after, a father from who I can learn from and imitate.
BUT just where do we find such a father? WHERE - do we look?
I MEAN - who is the model father, it certainly isn’t me.
YOU KNOW – this week I started thinking of how we live in this crazy age of gadgets and technology. LIKE - what I am holding in my hand… YEAH – this thing is totally amazing (iphone)
I MEAN – with this thing I can:
• check my email
• send text messages
• facetime family members hundreds, even thousands of miles away
AND – I have downloaded Apps that allow me to
• update my facebook and twitter
• check all sports scores
• access my bank account
• do my bible reading plans
• watch Netflix
• read stuff from the drudge report or fox news
• listen to podcasts of other pastors
• access the internet for goggle
AND – oh yeah this also makes phones calls…
WELL
THIS WEEK…
I was thinking how awesome it would be if there was a DAD APP that I could download
An App – that would show me…
• here is what a dad should do,
• here is what the model or prefect dad looks like…
NOW THAT - would be an App worth downloading.
AND – do you know what there really is A Dad App… it’s called the Bible… AND – there really is a ‘perfect’ ‘model’ Dad… God our heavenly Father.
SO TODAY - (as we celebrate father’s day) let’s see what we can learn about being a DAD by looking at God the father.
NOW – before we open up ‘The Dad App’ this morning… I want to say 4 quick things to every Dad out there…
#1 – Be Positive… Be positive about being a dad, and the difference that you can (and were actually designed) to make in the life of your kids
#2 – Be realistic – don’t be overwhelmed by what you ‘aren’t’ doing; rather focus on some small step that you can take each week…
AND LISTEN – over time these small steps will add up to huge impact.
#3 - Be determined – really dedicate yourself to the privilege and responsibility of fathering… Make being ‘the DAD you want to be’ one of your top priorities in life…
AND REMEMBER – direction not intention deteremines your destination…
#4 – Be Hopeful… – He hopeful that you really can become the DAD you want to be… AND - let me tell you where this hope rests. It rests on what one author calls ‘The Father Connection.’
UNDERSTAND DADS – as we take our relationship with Our Heavenly Father… not only will we be more willing to be the dad we want to be… but we will literally be empowered to become that DAD… YOU SEE – God is not only a role model for us as a father, but he is the fuel to get there as well…
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” - John 15:5
OKAY…
A few quick insights from ‘The DAD App’
Note…
this is not an exhaustive list
we will only introduce these insights this morning
And remember … the goal is not for these to be a source of discouragement but of hope and direction…
Involvement
Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. – Genesis 2:7
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. – John 1:1,14
Now the dwelling of God is with His people, and He will live with them… - Revelation 21:3
UNDERSTAND - right from the beginning we see that God (our Heavenly Father) desire was to be with… was to be involved in the lives of His people…
AND LAST WEEK – as we studied chapter 19 of the story ‘the return home’ we said that the temple (which said right in the most populated city in the nation) was a constant reminder that God wants to be with and do life with His people.
DADS – to become the dads we want to be requires our involvement…
AND LISTEN – to make this a reality is a lot harder than we think… because we’re:
• Busy
• pulled in so many different directions by so many different things and people
• we are tired at the end of the day
• because it will take ‘t.i.m.e.’ which we do not have much of.
I remember hearing a guy named Gary Rosberg speaking at a Promise Keepers 10+ years ago… about a picture his young daughter drew at school of her family…
It had the house, trees, sun, her brothers and sisters and the family dog… he asked her ‘isn’t something missing from your picture?
Oh daddy you’re not there you are at the office…’
Though it hurt - He kept that picture, he actually put it up on the big screen.
DADS – to become the DAD we want to be requires involvement.
AGAIN…,
Don’t just beat yourself up with regret…
BUT - just ask yourself this question,
“what small step can I take this week
to be more involved in my children’s life?”
btw – fellow Jesus followers Our heavenly father has already taken every necessary step that needs to be made in order to be involved in our lives… He is just waiting for us to make t.i.m.e. for Him..
Love and Acceptance
NOW – there are literally hundreds of scriptures throughout the bible that speak of God’s love for His children
We love because God first loved us... - 1 John 4:19
But God showed His great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners... - Rom 8:5
LISTEN - God did not wait for us to meet His expectations; He did not wait for us to make Him proud. He did not wait until we measured up to His standards, He simply loved us and He loved us first.
UNDERSTAND
THE FATHER…
SPOKE His love for us in the word.
SHOWED His love for us on a cross.
WROTE His love for us in his blood.
and POURED His loved out on us through adoption
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that IS what we are!
– 1 John 3:1
YES - the father loves us first and foremost (even the death of His 1 and only son could not stand in the way), AND - He also loves us forever, many scriptures talk of God’s enduring love... this phrase occurs 26 times in Psalm 136 alone...
Give thanks to the Lord, for the Lord is good; His love endures forever." Ps 136:1
The father’s love for us is complete, constant and unconditional. We cannot earn it. We cannot escape it. We can not erase it.
He may be angry when we disobey Him, or saddened when we stray from Him, or sorrowful when we sin, but He never, never, never stops loving us; our father’s unconditional love for us is such that:
Neither death nor life, neither angels, nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Romans 8:38-39
THAT’S… - the kind of father I want to be.
I want my kids to know THAT…
• I love and accept them.
• I loved them long before they could return my love
• I loved them when their primary interaction with me involved bottles, burps and dirty diapers
• My love for them is not based on anything they do or don’t do… BUT – on who they are ‘my kids.’
Gum Ball Illustration
(JOHN TRENT - IN HIS BOOK THE BLESSING TELLS THE STORY OF WHEN HE TOOK HIS 3 YR OLD TO THE MALL - AND SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO GET A GUM BALL - OUT OF THE BIG MACHINE... WELL ONE TIME SHE PUT HER QTR IN - AND NO GUM BALL CAME OUT - HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY TO A 3 YR OLD.. TRENT GOES ON TO SAY THAT SO MANY KIDS DO WHAT THEY THINK WILL GET A BLESSING FROM THEIR DAD - AND NOTHING COMES OUT - SOME DADS JUST KEEP THIER BLESSINGS OUT OF REACH)
I want my kids to know THAT…
• I love them, foremost
• my job, my hobbies, my friends are not more important than they are
• I will love them forever
• they don’t have to earn my love
• they cannot erase my love
• they will never escape my love
That’s the kind of father I want to be… One who loves his kids the way God’s loves me…
DADS…
If we speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, we are only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If we have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if we have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, we are nothing. 3 If we give all we possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship… but do not have love, we gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13;1-8
Encourage
UNDERSTAND – throughout the Scripture we find God the Father encouraging His children…
God Encouraged
• MOSES at the burning bush when he told him to deliver the nation of Israel.
• GIDEON by calling him a mighty warrior
• JOSHUA (with His presence and assistance) as He set out to conquer the promise land.
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
God encouraged Jesus (His one and only Son) after His baptism in the Jordan River…
“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
- Matthew 3:17
THAT – is the kind of Father I want to be…
A DAD – who encourages with His words, His presence and His assistance…
UNDERSTAND - there is power in our words. Words are important. Words can either lift up or tear down…
AND LISTEN – if anyone knows which is more our natural bent – it is our kids…
Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
AND PAUL WRITES – in Ephesians 4
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. – Eph 4:29
DADS – let’s commit today to begin speak ‘more’ encouraging words to our kids… Words that heal. Words that strengthen – rather than negative words which wound and discourage.
Christian author John Eldredge says it like this: “Your son or daughter, no matter how old, will always want and need to hear these words from you: You have what it takes; you are worth fighting for.”
Dads, let your daughter know that you think she’s beautiful, you think she’s smart, that she’s talented. That you believe in her.
Dads, let your sons know that you think they’re capable, that they can accomplish anything. That you believe in Him.
DADS – let’s try to catch them doing something right and commend them for it… in front of others if possible.
You are my son/daughter
Whom I love
With you I am well pleased
AGAIN DADS – what small step can we take this week…
Discipline
NOW – if you been around Maple Grove the last month or so as we have studied The Story… We have seen a lot of examples of God disciplining His children…
NOT – to pay them back, BUT to bring them back to Him and the life that He created them to live.
The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. – Proverbs 3:12
All children are disciplined by their fathers. 8 If you are never disciplined (and every child must be disciplined), you are not true children. 9 We have all had fathers here on earth who disciplined us, and we respected them. So it is even more important that we accept discipline from the Father of our spirits so we will have life. 10 Our fathers on earth disciplined us for a short time in the way they thought was best. But God disciplines us to help us, so we can become holy as he is. 11 We do not enjoy being disciplined. It is painful at the time, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way. – Hebrews 12:7-11
QUESTION – why do we discipline our kids? What’s the motivation…
1. Love
2. Teach them that wrong actions have negative consequences
3. Help them to live the right way
How Do We Discipline
1. In love not anger
2. By communicating rules clearly
3. Making the punishment fit the crime
4. Planning ahead
5. Sticking to your guns
6. Employing occasional mercy
Disciple
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4
Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
- Deuteronomy 6:4-8
Be A Refuge
At the lowest point in his life, having been pursued and persecuted by the king (the father of his best friend), a former shepherd boy named David lived in hiding.
• He had been a national hero; now he was in exile.
• He had been a member of the king’s court and now he sleeps in caves.
• He had been anointed as the next king of Israel; now his future looks dark.
• He had mercifully spared the king’s life; now that same king seeks his.
David’s problems loomed so large that he felt like a man among lions. He trembled like a child among hungry beasts. Finally in distress, David turned to his father, his God and cried out.
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until disaster has passed..." Ps 57:1-1
Within a few years, however, David became king, defeated all his enemies, united a kingdom in turmoil and won the respect and regard of his people. How were such thing accomplished? David provides the answer in later Psalms.
I love you , O Lord, my strength. the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." - Ps 18:1-2
THAT’S… the kind of DAD I want to be.
YEAH I KNOW – that I know I can’t be almighty or as all knowing as God is…
AND OBVIOUSLY - I want my children to first and foremost turn to God as a refuge, NEVERTHELESS I still want to be a refuge.
I want my kids to know…. that there is always a safe place that they can run to.
I want them to know… that they can come to me for refuge from:
• the storms of life,
• attacks of peers,
• the pressures of adolescence,
• disappointment, pain, heartache, ridicule and fear.
AND YEAH I KNOW THAT: my being a refuge will require that I be alert and observant to my children’s words and moods…
IT WILL MEAN - that I’ll have to develop and refine the art of listening (being quick to listen and slow; to correct, reprimand, instruct and advise)
IT WILL MEAN – that I will have to become more and more approachable (stick out your hand and I slap you in the face - how many times will you continue to approach me...)
AND FINALLY - I know that being a refuse will require my coming along side of my kids when they are need...
Helping them, picking them up
SO THAT THEY - can run the race called "life"
DADS
Involvement
Love and accept
Encourage
Discipline
Disciple
Be a refuge
I want to close with a video that illustrates in a powerful way what I have attempted to convey this morning, father’s day 2013…
The 1992 Olympics in Barcelona featured memorable moments of sports history.
Derek Redmond of Great Britain was on the way to fulfilling a lifetime dream, that of winning a gold medal in the Olympics. He had earned a spot in the semifinals of the 400 meter race, and as the gun sounded to start the race, Derek got off to a great start. He was running the race of his life…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZlXWp6vFdE
