Today we begin a series on “Finding Freedom In Forgiving Others.” I want us to look to our passage for today to answer the question, “What does it mean to forgive?” We’ll consider two thoughts today and consider three more in the next message in this series.
1. It means forgiving them repeatedly.
Did you hear about the man who was sitting in a coffee shop, across from a woman who was engrossed in her newspaper. One of the headlines blared: “2 Brazilian Players Recruited.” She turned to the man and quizzically asked, “How many is a Brazilian?”
If you don’t get this joke, here’s a hint. Brazilian is not a number! Her misunderstanding reminds me of another numerical misunderstanding in the Bible. The one mentioned in or passage for today.
Peter suggested, probably with pride, that it was a great thing to forgive someone 7 times. This was being very kind, because according to Jewish tradition, one is expected to forgive 3 times. This was based on a misunderstanding of a text in the book of Amos.
Amos repeats the formula - Amos 1:3 “For three sins of Damascus, even for four, I will not turn back [my wrath].” Verse 6 - Gaza, verse 9 - Tyre, verse 11 - Edom and so on. Thus they taught that God Himself never forgave more than three times. Peter had gone the extra mile when he says “up to 7 times.” But Jesus surprised him. He said, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In other words, Jesus told Peter, “Don’t assume that you can count how many times you offer forgiveness and then be done with it!”
We are expected to forgive, again and again - it’s a commitment that is to be sustained every day of our lives. It is not a single action, feeling or thought. Forgiveness is a way of life! And if forgiveness is going to be a way of life, I will be called on to forgive others repeatedly. Why?
A) People are imperfect.
The other people that we share space with on this planet are imperfect human beings, who will knowingly or unknowingly say or do things that will hurt us or offend us. And on occasion they will even hurt or offend us by not doing or saying things! Because human beings are
imperfect, they behave imperfectly!
I will find myself having to forgive a variety of individuals a certain number of times; and I will find myself having to forgive certain individuals a variety of times. Because people are imperfect.
We should all appreciate this idea of unlimited forgiveness, because that is what we constantly need from God. Jesus says that we are to be forgiving of others in the same way that we would want God to be forgiving toward us when we sin.
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” - Luke 6:36 (NIV)
“Mercy, like the regions of space, has no limit, and as these stretch away before the traveler who looks out from the farthest star, so the loftiest intellect and the largest heart can discover no bounds to mercy. Like our Father in heaven, we are to forgive without stint,
forgiving as we expect to be forgiven.” - Donald Guthrie
This having been said, forgiving someone this doesn’t mean we should repeatedly allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. That is a scenario where I need to probably avoid the person so as to protect myself.
However, there are still several people that I do not want to separate myself from, nor should I. Those folks, even those who I know love me very much, will have times when they cause me offense on various occasions. So my forgiveness should be limitless.
“Forgive each other the same as God forgave you through Christ.” - Ephesians 4:32 (Easy to Read)
But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not God, and neither are you. We have a ways to go in being more Godly when it comes to forgiveness. Which brings us to another reason why I will be called on to forgive others repeatedly.
That’s because . . .
B) I am imperfect.
Because I’m imperfect, I’ll not always get forgiveness right with just one try. I may choose to forgive a person today, then have to choose to forgive the same person again tomorrow for the same offense; and then maybe even have to make the same choice again the following day.
You see, my goal in forgiving others is to get to the place where I am able to forgive “from the heart” (verse 35). We’ll talk more about this in the second part of this message.
But, you see, if I have truly forgiven “from my heart”, then that means when the next offense occurs, it will be as though they have never done anything to me at all in the past; and most of us have to grow into that kind of complete forgiveness. So, in order to get where we need to be in truly forgiving others, we will have to forgive others repeatedly.
In fact, encountering offense and being hurt is one of the primary ways in which I have opportunity to grow in Christ-likeness as a Christian.
“To forgive without [scolding], even by manner or look, is a high exercise of grace – it is imitation of Christ.” - Robert Chapman
2. It means forgoing revenge.
Mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. She released the girl’s grip and said to her son, “She didn’t mean it. She doesn’t know that hurts.” He nodded, and she left the room. As she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, “What happened?” The little boy replied, “She knows now.”
Wanting revenge is something we come by naturally. But we must forgo seeking revenge if we are to forgive.
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” - Anonymous
The king willingly chose to absorb the debt owed him by the servant. This is what Christ did for us at the cross when He forgave us - He willingly absorbed our debt.
Likewise, when we forgive others, we do not demand revenge or payment. We leave that up to God. We choose to accept the fact that an injustice has been done to us without demanding that the person guilty of the offense pay for it.
We simply choose to let it go.
“[True forgiveness means] laying down our right to remain angry and giving up our claim to future repayment of the debt we have suffered.” - Brian Dodd
Few would dispute our right to get even. The rule of the world is “do unto others as they’ve done unto you.”
But when we choose to forgive, we choose to lay aside our right to extract our revenge. And in the moment that we make that decision, we are doing a couple of things:
A. We are leaving ultimate justice and vengeance to God.
“Those who persist in harboring an unforgiving spirit toward others who have wronged them are guilty of not believing God’s promise to see to matters Himself.” - Daniel Fuller
“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the LORD.” - Romans 12:19 (NLT)
B. We are deliberately choosing to become more like Christ.
“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” - 1 Peter 2:21-23 (NIV)
Conclusion:
“The ability to forgive is one of the surest signs of having been forgiven. It is part of the proof that we have received God’s grace . . . Those who are truly forgiven, truly forgive.” - Phillip Graham Ryken
In your attitude toward those who’ve wronged you, is there a desire to forgive like Christ has forgiven you?
Can Christ be seen in your desire to forgive others? Or is the fact that you harbor grudges and unforgiveness cause for concern about whether or not you genuinely know the forgiveness of Christ?
