Mother’s Day 2014
The Greatest Gift My Mother Ever Gave To Me
Scripture: 1 Samuel 1:9-18
I want to say to each of the mothers present today and to those of you reading this message “Happy Mother’s Day!” I have been thinking about what I wanted to say to you this morning and unlike previous messages I may have delivered on Mother’s Day, this morning I want to share part of my personal story. Some of you may have heard parts of this message before but I ask that you stay with me until then end.
As many of you know, my mother died twenty-eight years ago yesterday, May 10, 1986, the Saturday before Mother’s Day. Her death changed how I viewed and celebrated this special day. What has helped (and continues to help) me get through this special weekend every year for the last twenty-eight years are the other good mothers who are present in my life – my wife, mother-in-law, grand-mothers-in law, family members and each of you. All of the special mothers in my life have given their kids a gift similar to what my mother gave me. Before we go there, let me read to you part of a story from First Samuel chapter one. I will begin reading at verse nine.
“Then Hannah rose after eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. She, greatly distressed, prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. She made a vow and said, ‘O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.’ Now it came about, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli was watching her mouth. As for Hannah, she was speaking in her heart, only her lips were moving, but her voice was not heard. So Eli thought she was drunk. Then Eli said to her, ‘How long will you make yourself drunk? Put away your wine from you.’ But Hannah replied, ‘No, my lord, I am a woman oppressed in spirit; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and provocation.’ Then Eli answered and said, ‘Go in peace; and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him.’ She said, ‘Let your maidservant find favor in your sight.’ So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad. Then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord, and returned again to their house in Ramah. And Elkanah had relations with Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I have asked him of the Lord.’ Then the man Elkanah went up with all his household to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and pay his vow. But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, ‘I will not go up until the child is weaned; then I will bring him, that he may appear before the Lord and stay there forever.” (1 Samuel 1:9-22)
This story is very appropriate for what I wish to share with you. This is the story of Hannah and her desire to have a son. She was oppressed because she was barren and she prayed to God that He would give her a son. When she prayed, she made a promise to God that if He gave her a son she would give him back to Him for life. She wanted a son so badly that she was willing not to live with him and give him to God if God would just bless her with one. God heard her cry and gave her a son whom she named Samuel. Hannah was true to her word for as soon as she had weaned Samuel, she took him to the priest Eli where he remained. If you read the entire story you will find that this child grew to become a prophet and judge in Israel. God answered Hannah’s prayer and gifted her with a son. She in turn gave her son back to God. This gift that she gave to God opened the door for him to become a great prophet and judge in Israel.
This morning the title of my message is “The Greatest Gift My Mother Ever Gave Me.” I want to say up front that I had a great father who was very present in our lives, but as this is Mother’s Day I will focus on her. So when I say some things referencing my mother, please understand that she was not alone in this and my father was there beside her.
I was born in 1960 and based on some things my mother shared with me during many of our private conversations, I would have never have been born if she had listened to her doctors. My mother had rheumatic fever as a child and it supposedly damaged her heart. After her first delivery, the doctor told her that it would be better for her if she did not have any additional kids as the pregnancy stressed her heart. Also the weight she gained during and after the pregnancy was not good for her heart. If my mother had obeyed the words of her doctor, my oldest brother would have been an only child and none of what you see today would be here. The first gift that my mother gave to me was the gift of life. When she found out she was pregnant with me (I was her fourth pregnancy) she could have aborted me for medical reasons, but she chose to give me life. That was the first of many gifts that she gave me, but it was not the greatest gift as life in and of itself is temporary at best.
As I said, I was born in 1960 and for the first five and a half years of my life we lived in a housing project. My parents worked very hard at several jobs to make ends meet and to provide us with the necessities of life. They did not have a lot of money and things were always tight around the house, especially food. My mother took precautions to ensure that we always had something to eat. It may not have been much, but it was something. I remember my mother telling me a story about her brother that caused her pain for years. Her brother, Thomas, was in the military and he when he could he would visit us from time to time (this was during the time when we still lived in the housing project.) During one of his visits, he became hungry and went into the kitchen and found some saltine crackers and began eating them. My mother fussed at him because she was saving those for us because there was not much food in the house. After that incident Uncle Thomas would not visit her unless he had extra money to provide for his own food. In 1966, a year or so after the incident with the crackers, my uncle was murdered in Vietnam. (One of the white officers in his unit paid someone to kill him.) My mother told me that she regretted all of the time she lost with him because there were times when he could have come to visit but would not because he did not have extra money to provide his own food. As sad as this situation was, it represented another gift that she gave to me; she withstood her own family to ensure that our needs were met. I have known mothers who would allow their children to be hungry if it meant having a man around the house. This was not my mother – she took her responsibilities seriously. She gave me the gift of being a responsible parent, but this was not the greatest gift she gave me.
While we lived in the housing project, my mother had a dream about buying a house of their own. She told us that one day we would have our own house with a yard where we could actually go out and play. She said we could play in the mud if we wanted and she would not care. In 1966 we moved into that promised house. I remember the first night we were there we had beanie wienies straight out of the can. I remember sitting in the hall on the floor eating and wondering what our lives would be like in our new house. The house had three bedrooms, a living room (for company only), one bathroom, and a kitchen. My brothers and I shared a room as did my sisters. Our “family room” was my parents’ bedroom where the TV was located. We could not go into the living room because, as I said, it was for company. We grew close as a family because the house was small when you think about the fact the living room was off limits. Also, as it related to our yard and playing in the mud, we definitely had a yard but there was no way my mother allowed us to track mud into her house. She backtracked on that one promise. When we moved to that house our neighbors became like another family for us and everyone watched out for us. We roamed the neighborhood as kids and if we got in trouble, my mother knew before we got home because someone would have called and informed her. What is so strange in these times is that in those days versus today our neighbors had our mother’s permission to “spank” us if we got in trouble while we were away from the house. It was not called child abuse or child endangerment – it was called “correcting the stupidity of the child in order to keep the child out of prison as an adult.” We do not see that today. This was another gift my mother gave me; an understanding of home ownership and living in a community where everyone looked out for each other. We did not have this in the housing project, but this was not the greatest gift.
Most of you have heard me tell you that we were poor. I never knew how poor we were because I always saw someone else who I thought was worse off than I was. I knew we did not have a lot, but I did not fully understand until later how poor we actually were. The reason that I did not know that we were poor is because of how we were treated. Yes we participated in the summer lunch programs and yes there were times when there was not much food in the house. I remember times when my grandfather would show up at our home with bags of groceries because he knew what my parents were dealing with on a daily basis. During those times my mother would come home and “throw” something together based on what she had in the kitchen. We used to tease her that some of our best meals were those where she just “threw” some things together based on whatever was available. Although we did not have a lot she maximized what we did have. The mentality that I was worth something even though we were poor gave me the strength to do all that I have done in my life. I could have easily traveled a different path, but that was not the gift that my mother gave to me. She taught me that the measure of my worth was not in the possessions that I would have one day, but the core of who I was. I told you the story of how I liked to look sharp whenever I went anywhere. My mother would say to me “Boy you’re always trying to look all sharp but you don’t have a pot to pee in!” (Actually she said it another way, but you get the picture.) She was telling me that it was not about the outer appearance; it was about what was on the inside. You can put beautiful clothes on the outside of inner ugliness day in and day out and the ugliness on the inside will remain ugly. My mother gave me the gift of understanding that I needed to dress the inside in addition to the outside. But this was not the greatest gift she gave me.
One additional story that my mother told me relates to a time when she could have given my brother and I up to one of her cousins to be raised as her kids. Her cousin understood the financial difficulties that parents had with five kids and offered to take my brother and me to raise us. This woman was “well off” and had the means to provide a better life for us than my parents could. I asked my mother why she did not let us go so “we could have a better life” and make their lives easier. She answered by telling me that she could not see herself giving up any of her children and not have them present every day in her life, even if it would have benefitted them financially. She told me that she wanted all of her kids and she was willing to make whatever sacrifice needed to keep us together. My mother wanted me and this was a gift, but not the greatest gift.
My mother, from my earliest memory, made sure we went to Church. When both she and my father had to work on Sundays, she made sure one of the other Church members (often our pastor Rev. C.D. Davis) would stop by the house and get us. She wanted us in Church. Besides our pastor, I remember the deacons and their wives coming to get us for church services and different practices we would have at the Church when my parents could not take us. It was important for my mother that we went to Church. I learned about Jesus at a very young age and actually accepted Christ at the age of six. When I came home and told my mother she just smiled and said “I knew you would.” How could she have known that I would accept Christ at such a young age? It was because of the gift. You see, just like Hannah, my mother gave all of her kids to God. She did not leave us at the Church, but she made sure that we knew who Jesus was. Our being involved in Church was so important to my mother that one Easter she refused to work at her waitress job so that she could go to Easter services with us. The manager fired her, but it was worth it for her because she could be at Church and see her kids in the Easter play. Because my mother made sure that we were all in Church, we are all saved today. This is the greatest gift that my mother ever gave to me, the knowledge of Christ. She made sure that all of us were introduced to Christ so that when we were ready, we could choose for ourselves to accept or reject Him. What we did not have a choice in was if we went to Church while we lived in her house. So why is this gift the greatest gift she ever gave me?
As I shared at the beginning, my mother died in 1986 at the age of forty-eight. I had her in my life for twenty-five years before she died. My mother has been gone for twenty-eight years but it still seems like yesterday. But the gift that she gave me guaranteed that I would see her again. All of the toys that she brought me as a child are for the most part gone. All of the clothes that she made me are gone. All of the other material things that she gave me are all gone. However, the gift that she gave me when she ensured that I met my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is forever. I will forever be connected to Him and therefore I have a guarantee that one day I will get to see her, talk to her and once again rejoice in our Father with her, and that my friends will last for an eternity. It might be another twenty, thirty or even forty years before I get there, but when I arrive, she will know me. She will know that the seeds she had sown in me had produced a son that ultimately walked with the same Lord that she walked with. She will know that the impact she had on my life allowed me to impact others. She will know that her decision not to abort me or my siblings allowed for all of us in our own way to make a difference in the lives of someone else. She will know that her short life by our standard was not lived in vain.
So mothers I ask you this morning, “What are you giving to your kids?” You can buy them everything in the world, but it will not save them in the end. You can work hard and make all kinds of sacrifices for them, but it will not save them in the end. You can take out loans and send them to the best schools in the country, but that will not save them. The only gift that you can give them that will change their life forever is Christ. By ensuring that they have a relationship with Him, one that is built on the word of God and not how we water it down will ensure that when you leave here you will see your children again. They may ask for a lot of things, but you can give them the one gift they really need, Jesus Christ. I understand that ever person must accept Christ for themselves, but it has been proven over and over again that when the parent knows Christ and are walking with Him, the kids have a stronger chance of knowing Him too. What lasting gift are you giving to your children?
Hannah prayed for a son and promised God that she would give her son to Him if He blessed her with a son. Who are you giving your children to? There are a lot of influences out there who would love to take your child from you, are you giving them up? Is the television raising your child? Is the music or internet raising your child? Is your neighbor or other family members raising your child? Who have you given your child to? If you have not given them to the Lord it is not too late.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers! The role you play in the lives of your children, even if they are not yours by birth, cannot be under estimated. You may not be perfect and there are times when you will fail, but please do not fail them when it comes to ensuring that they have a relationship with Christ. In order to do this, you must have one also. This is the only way you will be able to see them for an eternity.
May God bless and keep you on this Mother’s Day!
