DAVID—A MAN AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART
05—THE VALUE OF A TRUE FRIEND
TEXT: 1 Samuel 18:1-4
1 Samuel 18:1-4 KJV And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. [2] And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house. [3] Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. [4] And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.
I. INTRODUCTION—FRIENDS
A. General
Clarence Macartney—One cannot always choose his vocation or surroundings in the world but one can choose his friends.
Charles Spurgeon—I would rather be chained in a dungeon, wrist to wrist with a Christian, than to live forever with the wicked in the sunshine of happiness.
Samuel Johnson—A man should keep his friendships in a state of constant repair.
F. W. Boreham—The man who has learned to keep his friendships in perfect repair is a very wise workman indeed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson—The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
-There are many people in life today who are tromping along with heavy hearts and great mental burdens. They have a poignant regret about a certain hour they met a friend whom now they will say, “Oh, if I had never met him! If I had never known him!”
There was a city in ancient Greece that was noted for its honey. The honey that came from Heraclea was sweet to the taste and exhilarating to all who ate it. But the reason that it was so good was because it had been poisoned with the nectar of aconite. The aconite is a member of the buttercup family and when the bees would gather its nectar and make the honey it was fatal to those who consumed it. There are friends who entertain, thrill, and excite us—but like Heraclea’s honey, there is deadly poison in them.
-More often than not, people make the huge mistake of minimizing the impact that other people have on their life. Almost all of our sorrows can be traced to friendships with the wrong people and our joys can be traced to friendships with the right people.
B. Biblical
John 15:13-15 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. [14] Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. [15] Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
Proverbs 11:13 KJV A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 KJV [9] Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. [10] For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? [12] And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
-The Proverbs have the ability to show some characteristics about friendship:
16:28—Friends will stick with you. (18:24)
17:17—Friends will not jump ship with the going gets rough.
18:24—Friends are scarce.
26:18-19—Friends will be sensitive to your feelings.
27:6—Friends will speak the truth to you.
27:9—Friends will be available for counsel.
27:17—Friends will sharpen you.
-It is clear that we must understand how important that friends have in our lives.
II. DAVID AND JONATHON
A. Things That Led to This Friendship
-This passage of Scripture, actually 1 Samuel 18-20, gives to us one of the most famous of all friendships in the Bible. It is that of David and Jonathon. As time progressed, they actually became brother-in-laws because of David’s marriage to Michal.
-Despite the calamitous events that would cause David to have to flee to the wilderness, one of the bright spots was his friendship with Jonathon. In fact, I have come to understand that there are elements of the grace of God in the meanest of life’s circumstances and in David’s story this is one of them.
• He had to pass through the consequences of Saul’s maddening jealousy.
• He struggled not to retaliate against Saul, a king who was intent on killing him.
• He had to deliberately ignore the ill-will that Saul harbored in his heart for David.
-At the opening of a very dark trial, God sends to David, a friend who will sustain, counsel, and protect him as much as he possibly can. In Jonathon, David finds a kind hand that will save his life more than once because of the inside knowledge he had of Saul’s next murderous move.
-Even those who don’t know much about the Bible is probably are aware of the story of David killing the giant called Goliath. This victory put him in the cross-hairs of a king who could not allow the sweet taste of success in another person. Saul felt overshadowed by David despite the fact that the welfare of his kingdom had actually been strengthened by the brave actions of this young man.
-In the midst of all of this chaos, Jonathon comes along and literally is the one who had the least to gain and most to lose by becoming the friend of David. To show you value of this friendship, I turn to two specific places in Scripture. It is important to notice that David’s faith is almost gone but Jonathon can see much more than David because his perspective is so different.
1 Samuel 20:3 KJV And David sware moreover, and said, Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes; and he saith, Let not Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved: but truly as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, there is but a step between me and death.
-David’s fleeing had caused an uncertainty to gain the upper hand in his mind. He could not see himself escaping from the bitter malice of Saul’s rage. He knew that nothing would satisfy Saul until he had crushed him and ground him into the grave.
-David cries out, There is but a step between me and death!
• It was a step that had blurred all direction.
• It was a step that felt so final.
• It was a step that caused all discernment to be hidden from him.
• It was a step that isolated him from his closest friends.
B. Naioth in Ramah
-You may ask how did he get to that particular place? He got there running from Naioth in Ramah (1 Sam. 20:1). Even to remotely consider the meaning of the names of this geographical location might give some insight. Naioth had the meaning of “house” or “habitation.” Ramah meant “the height” or “high place of God.”
-We shouldn’t put more stock in the meanings of these names than we ought to but the fact remains whoever runs from the house of God in a high place will feel the pressure of the situation. We have to acknowledge that we are in a spiritual battle and there was an evil spirit motivating Saul to kill David.
-I often have the feeling that there are more people than we are often aware of that are fleeing from the spirit of a Saul that wants to destroy the anointing and destiny that God has in mind for them.
-When you are fleeing, you need a Jonathon, as in a friend to come along and tell you some things that will re-orient you to what the big picture looks like.
1 Samuel 20:2 KJV And he said unto him, God forbid; thou shalt not die: behold, my father will do nothing either great or small, but that he will shew it me: and why should my father hide this thing from me? it is not so.
-There is another passage of Scripture that shows the strength that comes from a true friend:
1 Samuel 23:16-17 KJV And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God. [17] And he said unto him, Fear not: for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.
-There has to be a lesson that you gain from this in seeing that our lives are lived out on a physical plane but there is a spiritual realm at play that we cannot deny. We must have some friends around us that help us to see the priorities of walking with God.
-While David is trying to do what is right, we see four distinct relationships that are evolving in his life:
• A relationship of submission to Saul.
• A relationship of friendship with Jonathon.
• A relationship of elevation as a hero in the eyes of Israel.
• A relationship of opposition with Saul that lasted for years.
-In all of these areas of life, God’s hand is on David. His destiny has been determined and with that destiny, God moves people in and out of his life like a chess-master. If we can see that in David’s life with clarity then we should have the same faith to believe it in our own lives!
III. JONATHON
-Through all of this, Jonathon is a true friend.
1 Samuel 18:1 KJV And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
-Notice the description that is used in the KJV, the soul of Jonathon was knit with the soul of David. Lange’s Commentary notes the word “knit” to literally give the idea of a steel chain that his its links joined together.
-It is the plan of God for souls to be knit together in friendship. All of us ought to go about our days looking for someone to be a Jonathon for and by the same token all of us will fall into the category of being a David.
-There are some characteristics about this friendship that are worth visiting.
A. Willing to Sacrifice
1 Samuel 18:4 KJV And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.
-Jonathon wanted to give David something that belonged to him but even more than that it was something that had meaning to it.
-Jonathon passes along to David a robe that has come from the royal courts and then he gives him his weapons.
-In a sense, Jonathon was giving David a robe that would help him gain access into the royal courts. It added to his stature because it was an endorsement coming from the prince of the kingdom.
-But the gift of the weapons of Jonathon proved that he was also interested in David being able to survive the attacks that would come in the wilderness. No matter what enemy may have determined to kill David, his friend had equipped him to fight.
-Jonathon had already proven himself as a warrior. He and his armor-bearer had fought with the Philistines and turned them back.
-There is something to be said for a friend who can open us up to a world of royalty and at the same time equip us for the war of worship.
B. A Loyal Defense Against Saul
1 Samuel 19:4-5 KJV And Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David; because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good: [5] For he did put his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, and the LORD wrought a great salvation for all Israel: thou sawest it, and didst rejoice: wherefore then wilt thou sin against innocent blood, to slay David without a cause?
-Jonathon proved to be a strong friend when he spoke up in behalf of David in front of Saul. In fact, he spoke up to his father and told him that he was wrong about David and then went as far as to rebuke Saul for his attitude.
-If Jonathon would not have been a true-blue friend to David, he would have began to undermine him so that Saul would put even more pressure on David. But Jonathon refused to allow himself to be drawn in to pettiness, envy, and jealousy.
-It could have been so easy for Jonathon to let that take place if he would have been motivated to have the crown for himself.
-Even in this setting, we can see the grace of God in action for David. It could have been so easy for Jonathon to think of what opportunities he was going to miss but there was a clear understanding on Jonathon’s part to see that David was who God had his hand on.
-There are very few people who do not know what it is like to have been betrayed by a false friend. Yet we see Jonathon defending David in a situation where it would have been much easier to keep quiet and not say anything at all to Saul.
• What kind of friend are you?
• Are you trustworthy and steadfast in the midst of opposition and trouble?
• Is your friendship pure in its foundation?
• Is it based on the right motives?
• Are you trying to use it to leverage something out of another person?
• Is your desire for the good welfare and blessing of your friend?
• Are you willing to help him advance?
Some years ago, I happened to read a story about a young man in Scotland who determined to become a physician. He worked with much discipline and determination despite his very poor surroundings and resources. After a long course, he became a physician and went to work among the coal miners in Scotland. It was a job that very few physicians wanted; in fact all of these jobs were filled by assignment instead of the choice of the applicant.
Once he got there and began to work desperately against the bad working conditions of the miners and the ignorance of town about general hygiene, he started to flourish. It was in those situations that he soon discovered that he had a gift for surgery. The problem was getting out of the mining country and making it back to the medical school for further training.
It just so happened that while he was working, one of his fellow physicians saw this gift in this young man. Although the colleague saw that this man was much better than he was, instead of trying to keep him back, he started doing all he could to give him opportunities to operate. He let him to amputations, appendectomies, and various other types of surgeries to encourage his skills. It wasn’t too long before the friend was willing to contact the right people to get this physician back for further training. He went on to become a surgeon because of the help of a friend.
-How many people are around us that are really destined to go much further in life but are lacking a Jonathon to help them? There is not a one among us who shouldn’t be looking for an opportunity to help someone else advance in their life.
C. A Source of Encouragement
1 Samuel 23:15-16 KJV And David saw that Saul was come out to seek his life: and David was in the wilderness of Ziph in a wood. [16] And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.
-A Jonathon is willing to sacrifice. . . He is willing to defend. . . and he is willing to encourage.
-1 Samuel 23 finds David at one of several low points in his life. But again we find Jonathon coming along with a gift of encouragement.
-You have heard this before, but you need to hear it again:
Which Are You?—Ella Wheeler Wilcox
There are just two kinds of people on earth today,
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.
Not the rich and the poor, for to count a man’s wealth
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.
Not the humble and proud, for, in life’s little span,
Who puts on airs is not counted a man.
Not the happy and sad, for the swift counting years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.
No, the two kinds of people on earth I mean
Are the people who lift and the people who lean.
Wherever you go you will find the world’s masses
Are always divided in just these two classes.
And oddly enough you will find, too, I ween,
There’s only one lifter to twenty who lean.
In which class are you? Are you easing the load
Of overtaxed lifters who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner who lets others bear
Your portion of labour and worry and care?
-The great evangelist, D. L. Moody advised people to do all the good they could, to all the people they could, in all the ways they could, and as long as they could.
-That is what Jonathon did for David! He was a source of encouragement to him.
IV. CONCLUSION—GO AND BE A JONATHON!
-No sermon really is worth anything until it causes us to change and do something. There are untold blessings to be found in the ministry of Jonathon. But the reality is that all of us have to find a David to go out and sacrifice for, defend, and encourage.
-There are a multitude of people in our stressed-out, worn-out, and washed-out generation that need someone to be a Jonathon to them.
-Go and be a Jonathon!
Philip Harrelson
January 12, 2013
