Pain Perspective
Pt. 3 – People, Permanent, and Perfected Pain
You will remember that there are only three things that are certain in life . . . death, taxes, and then we added pain to the list because we are told in Genesis 3:19 that because of our own fallenness we will be:
“be working in pain all your life long.”
So pain is promised and it is real. Our pain is caused by our fallenness but the hope we have is in our fatherdness. God, in light of promised pain, then says “I am ever present help in the time of need!” So, although pain is promised so is His presence. So we struggle with perspective not because we believe God causes pain (we understand the source of our pain) but rather we falter because we struggle with the idea that God uses our pain!
So we talked in week 1 about the fact that pain is a pervert. It causes us to pervert the picture about our past. We paint perverted pictures and have a tendency to call bondage freedom. Pain causes us to have selective amnesia! In our pain clouded perspective we pervert the season we begged, prayed, fasted to get out of into a season of pleasure. Pain causes us to forget the details. Pain causes us to forget reality! Then we talked about how pain will cause you to get angry at God and those He sends to help you! So we end up attacking those who are assigned to assist. So we tend to run to relief instead of relationships!
Last week we spoke about the plot of pain. Pain plots to get us to complain, compare, and ultimately check out of community, communion, and calling.
I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I didn't tell you to expect pain in life. Jesus, the Son of God, experienced our life in all of its facets. In fact, we love to quote Isaiah because it describes a Savior that we can relate to! We love the idea that Jesus' wasn't immune to our reality.
Isaiah 53:3-5
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
We love that! We have a Savior that went through what we go through and we find comfort in that. But the problem is we fail to continue to read and apply Jesus' experience to our own!
Isaiah 53:10-11
Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
Still, it’s what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him. Out of that terrible travail of soul, he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many “righteous ones,” as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
There is a statement there that should make the toughest among us cringe. It was the Lord's will to crush him and to cause Him to suffer. If you stop right there it is a miserable lesson to learn. God uses pain! God allows suffering. God allows crushing. That isn't very encouraging until you realize that pain past and pain permanent can also produce pain perfected. It is through the process of Christ's pain that He secures our justification and takes away our iniquities! So pain can in fact be perfected!
3 types of pain quickly.
a. People Pain
I believe that I can say without any fear of being wrong that all of us have experienced people pain in our past. Varied severity. Varied causes. Various lengths of duration. However, common result . . . pain. So the question then is why do some people navigate past the pain of their people pain and some people continue to live in that pain and seem to never get over it.
A couple of thoughts here:
Some don't ever get over people pain because they think their healing is contingent on an apology. It is interesting to me that Jesus’ was offering forgiveness for people pain (Father forgive them) and no one requested the forgiveness!
If the person, the spouse, the employer, the betraying friend, family member would simply apologize I would be able to get over this. And since they don't apologize your people pain interrupts and derails your present.
My question is what if they never apologize? You need to hear me carefully this morning so that you can move on and allow the pain you endured to find perfection. They don't hold the key to your healing! The people who inflicted the emotional wound will seldom be the ones who bandage it. If they cared about your emotions they wouldn’t have done the damage in the first place! The one who remains in the prison of pain is not them! It is you!
To get over people pain you can not confuse bitterness with strength. They are not the same. Bitterness is simply a heart with a scab. If your life/heart is full of bitterness then you are not stronger. You have failed to be completely healed. The old idea of real forgiveness is only achieved not when you can't remember but when you can remember with no pain is true! Some of you are not strong you are bitter. You act tough but you are in fact tormented. You are filled with anger and resentment and the pain continues to cloud you mind, your outlook and your soul! You are harder but you are not healed! When we bump into you we discover you are just filled with anger!
Here is what we must know about people pain . . . Your pain may have been someone else's fault, but your healing is your responsibility!
b. Permanent Pain
The second type of pain we must learn to cope with and navigate is permanent pain. What do we do with pain that won't go away? What do we do with sickness that isn't healed? What do we do with death that scars us to the depth of our being?
You will remember that Paul experienced this type of pain. He talks in 2 Corinthians 12 about a thorn in his flesh that would not go away. He tried to pray his way out and yet it would not go away. Some of us can relate. We have been begging God for a solution or at least an explanation and yet it seems that the pain is constant and is cemented in our lives.
What we must come to grips with in permanent pain is pain that releases the sustaining power of Christ. Do remember God's response to Paul's requests for relief? In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul finally hears God speak to His permanent pain . . . But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
It is only in permanent pain that we truly learn about sustaining grace. Grace that meets us at our point of need and equips us with courage, wisdom and strength. It is only in the midst of permanent pain that you can explore the depths of God's grace that others will never know! Fleeting or momentary pain gives you a glimpse of grace. Permanent pain can give you a constant and clear view of grace. You can either plumb the depths of pain or dive into the depths of grace. How much must God trust you if He says He won’t give you more than you can endure and you are going through this?
c. Perfected Pain
Pain is certain. Pain will happen. So you can wallow in people pain or become consumed by permanent pain. Or if you can get the right pain perspective the pain that you will face can become perfected!
We will know your pain is perfected when you realize that there is value in your struggle. Watching you go through shows them the way. This realization causes you to react and act differently while in pain. No grumbling. No whining. No vengeance or retaliation.
We will know your pain is perfected when you discover that "Hardship often prepares ordinary people for extraordinary things. - C.S. Lewis"
You no longer allow your pain to disqualify you but rather it is the thing that launches you to do great things. This realization keeps you moving forward, believing, and attempting great things.
We will know your pain is perfected when you come to grips with the fact that "God uses our pain as a passport into other people's brokenness."
Rather than hiding in your pain. Rather than disguising your pain. Rather than being ashamed of your pain. You allow your pain to be seen, shared, and it gives you entry into the journey of brokenness that others are traveling. This realization keeps your focus outward and kills selfishness and self-centeredness.
You will be glad you did it. Jesus endured the pain and Isaiah says He was crushed. However, He would also be glad He did it. His perspective was clear. Yes, He endured unbelievable pain. But because of the prize . . . you and me . . . He endured it. We will know your pain is perfected when you are able to find the joy in the mourning. We will know your pain is perfected when you are able to find peace in the persecution. Rather than crying tears of pain you cry tears of joy! This realization keeps you strong because joy is your strength! When you deal with something that would make others quit and you still maintain peace, joy, hope, and Christ like attitude then your pain is perfected and becomes a trophy that God can display for all to see.
