HOW TO FIND COMMON GROUND WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND BE HAPPY REGARDLESS OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES
Some people tend to lose sight of the importance of developing character qualities as taught by the Lord Jesus during His Sermon on the Mount. The following keys to happiness are especially valuable for those seeking to understand the root problems of the fighting fundamentalists. Some of you have had the benefit of learning about Corrie Ten Boom and her ordeal in a Nazi concentration camp during World War 2. In an article in Guideposts she tells a story of struggling to forgive her cruel captors. After the Nazis murdered her sister, Corrie said she was not able to forget that wrong done to her. Even though Corrie had forgiven the officer that gave the order to have her sister executed, she kept rehashing the incident in her mind. Many nights Corrie could not sleep. Finally, Corrie cried out to the Lord for help in resolving the problem.
Corrie wrote in her article, "The Lord's help came in the form of a kindly Lutheran pastor to whom I confessed my failure to after two sleepless weeks. One morning, he took me in to see the church bell tower. The Lutheran pastor pointed to the bell and said, "Up in that church tower is a bell which is rung by pulling a rope. But you know what? After the sexton lets go of the rope, the bell keeps on swinging. First ding, then dong. Slower and slower until there is a final dong and it stops. I believe that same thing is true of forgiveness. When we forgive, we take our hand off the rope. But if we have been tugging at our grievances for a long time, we must not be surprised if the old angry thoughts keep coming for a while. They are just the ding dong of the old bell slowing down." Corrie recalls, "And so it proved to be true. There were still a few more midnight reverberations, a couple of dings when the subject came up in my conversations. But the force - which was my willingness in the matter - had gone out of them. They came less and less often and at last stopped altogether. And so I discovered another secret of forgiveness: we can trust God despite our feelings, but also above our own culturally conditioned perspectives."
In the following list of the beatitudes there is a contrast between those who are reflecting these character qualities of Christ and those who are self-destructing by rejecting these life giving traits:
1A. Blessed are the poor in spirit - Jesus is saying that happiness comes from recognizing that we are humanly sinful, in debt to God for everything, and will find our sufficiency only in His grace. By admitting that we are dependent on the Lord for everything, we are giving Christ His rightful place as Lord of our life. When trials come to the poor in spirit they are quick to turn the controls of their life to God's care.
1B. Unhappy and unblessed are the proud, self-sufficient, and self-righteous who have a hard time admitting that they are sinful and need the Lord's grace. These folks have a hard time acknowledging that the Lord is the giver of every good and perfect thing. Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before stumbling. The unhappy struggle to forgive."
2A. Blessed are those who mourn. One who mourns is passionately lamenting, sorrowing, and grieving over something missing or lost. Christians grieve over the lost souls of this world that are yet to know Christ as their Savior and Lord. Mourning is the sorrow of a broken heart over the wrong that is done in the world. Christians feel compassion for those who are hurting, hungering, or suffering and wish to alleviate peoples' pain.
2B. Unhappy and unblessed are the cold, uncaring, and insensitive people. Callous individuals prefer to follow legalistic rules, regulations, and policies rather than showing Christ-like love. Jesus condemned the Pharisees for their strict observance of their traditional laws while failing to show compassion to those around them. The opposite of love is not hate, but an apathetic coldness that leaves people empty.
3A. Blessed are the gentle. Gentle individuals exhibit power under control. They are able to maintain their peace under the heat of criticisms, misunderstandings, or injustices. Being meek does not equate with weakness. A person is gentle not because one cannot help himself or herself, but because one is not insisting on asserting their own rights, views, or plans.
3B. Unhappy and unblessed are the brash, brazen and prideful. Some people just like to argue, fight, and take the opposite position of other people. They get a sinister pleasure out of seeing others struggle as a means of exerting their control. God rejected King Saul because of his attempts to control others. Saul preferred to trust in his own strength rather than trusting and obeying the Lord.
4A. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Hungry and thirsty people long for what is right, holy, and Christ- like. They are never satisfied with the mediocre. These people insist on Christ's standards in justice, relationships, and all matters of life.
4B. Unhappy and unblessed are the indifferent or careless people. Many people have an appetite for success, power, and possessions, but lack a healthy desire for what is good, holy, and right. Our appetites are conditioned by what we think about. Solid food is for the mature who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. (Hebrews 5:14)
5A. Blessed are the merciful. Those who forbear or show compassion to offenders exhibit a Christ-like mercy. Merciful people render help to those who are hurting, underprivileged or who are in need. Mercy denotes a feeling of empathy, sympathy, or identification with someone who needs a touch of grace. When we remember how merciful the Lord is to us we only need to follow His example.
5B. Unhappy and unblessed are the merciless. The cold, hard-hearted, and uncompassionate have calloused minds so that they overlook the hurting without feeling any guilt. The world is filled with hurting people who are looking for a touch of mercy, but many grow increasingly preoccupied with themselves.
6A. Blessed are the peacemakers. A peacemaker is a harmonizer, a reconciler and a bridge-builder between people. Only those who are at peace with God and themselves are able to act as intercessors, arbitrators, and negotiators between differing parties. Peacemakers do not resurrect old grievances, criticisms, or sore points to prove their point. By being at peace with people they seek to amicably resolve conflicts.
6B. Unhappy and unblessed are those who stir up strife. People who love to complain, bicker, or argue enjoy stirring up others' emotions. Skeptical, cynical, and suspicious by nature, these people enjoy spreading rumors. These folks have a hard time looking at the 50% of the glass that is full preferring to emphasize what they do not have. They focus on the negatives rather than the positives.
7A. Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness. These people are willing to experience ill treatment because of their stand for Christ's truth, grace, and love. Without developing a martyr's complex, these folks are able to endure misunderstandings, criticisms, or false accusations without becoming bitter. They know that everyone has a choice to become bitter or better with every experience.
7B. Unhappy and unblessed are the revengeful. Some people are quick to insist on their own rights and refuse to accept criticisms for Christ's sake. Many individuals struggle to control their anger and are consequently quick-tempered, easily offended, and superficial, wishing not to be hurt by anyone. These folks will harbor a grudge for years without forgiving others.
Positive Christ like Character Qualities The Opposite of a Christ like Character
1. Poor in Spirit - Jesus is saying that happiness comes from recognizing that we are humanly sinful, in debt to God for everything, and find our sufficiency only in His grace.
1. Proud, self-sufficient, and self-righteous - The proud have a hard time admitting that they are sinful and need the Lord's grace. "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before stumbling."
2. Mourn - A person who mourns, passionately laments, sorrows, and grieves over something missing or lost. Mourning is the sorrow of a broken heart over the wrong that is done in the world. Christians feel compassion for those who are hurting, hungering, or suffering and wish to help alleviate peoples' pain.
2. Cold, uncaring, and insensitive people - Callous individuals prefer to follow legalistic rules, regulations, and policies rather than showing Christ- like love. The opposite of love is not hate, but an apathetic coldness that leaves people empty.
3. Gentle - Gentle individuals exhibit power under control. They are able to maintain their peace under the heat of criticisms, misunderstandings, or injustices
3. Brash, brazen and prideful - These people like to argue, fight, and take the opposite position of other people. They get a sinister pleasure out of seeing others struggle. They love to exert control, authority and force.
4. Hunger and thirst for righteousness - Hungry and thirsty people long for what is right, holy, and Christ-like. They are never satisfied with the mediocre. These people insist on Christ's standards in justice, relationships, and all matters of life.
4. Indifferent or careless people. These people have an appetite for success, power, and possessions, but lack a healthy desire for what is good, holy, and right. Their appetites are conditioned by what we think about. As a person thinks within oneself so one becomes. (Proverbs. 23:7)
5. Merciful - Merciful people forbear or show compassion to enemies or offenders. Merciful people render help to those who are hurting, underprivileged or anyone in need. Mercy denotes a feeling of empathy, sympathy, or identification with someone who needs a touch of grace.
5. Merciless - The cold, hard-hearted, and uncompassionate have calloused their minds so that they can overlook the hurting without feeling any guilt. The world is filled with hurting people who are looking for a touch of mercy, but many grow increasingly preoccupied with themselves.
6. Peacemakers - A peacemaker is a harmonizer, a reconciler and a bridge-builder between people. Only those who are peace with God and themselves are able to act as intercessors, arbitrators, and negotiators between differing parties. Peacemakers do not resurrect old grievances, criticisms, or sore points to prove their point. By looking to be at peace with all men they seek to amicably resolve conflicts
6. Those who stir up strife. People who love to complain, bicker, or argue enjoy stirring up trouble. Skeptical, cynical, and suspicious by nature, these people enjoy spreading rumors. These folks have a hard time looking at the 50% of the glass that is full preferring to emphasize what they do not have. They focus on the negatives rather than the positives.
7. Those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness - These are people who are willing to experience ill treatment because of their stand for Christ's truth, grace, and love. Without developing a martyr's complex, these folks are willing to endure misunderstandings, criticisms, or false accusations without becoming bitter.
7. The revengeful - These people are quick to insist on their own rights and refuse to accept criticisms. These individuals struggle to control their anger and easily offended. They do not wish to get too close to anyone. They are easily hurt and defensive. These folks will harbor a grudge for years without forgiving others.
