This morning I will be speaking on the subject of modesty. This is an important topic that affects EVERY person here in some way, but it is unfortunately at times a divisive topic, especially when considering specific applications. My prayer for the lesson this morning is that we understand what the heart of this issue really is and at least give you some questions to ask yourself when it comes to your wardrobe. I only ask that you work hard in trying to apply this lesson to yourself; to your own heart and life. Don’t try to apply this lesson to someone else. Don’t say to yourself, “I am thrilled brother or sister_______________ was here to hear this.” Apply this lesson to yourself.
And before we get into the lesson, I would like to say this: men, listen up. It may be true that the passages that deal with modesty in the New Testament speak about it primarily as a concern for women. Although this will be the main focus at times during this lesson, this does not give us as godly men a free pass to dress in whatever way we want. Amongst God’s people, men also can be guilty of being immodest in their dress. So this lesson is for the women and the men! We all need to think about what we wear and the affect it will have on others.
So from our text in 1 Timothy 2, I plan on making three points:
• The Concern of the modest person
• The Clothing of the modest person
• The Commitment of the modest person
THE CONCERN OF THE MODEST PERSON
Any biblical discussion on the issue of modesty needs to begin with the concerns we must have inwardly, in our hearts, not on where we need to draw lines. In verse 9, Paul says, “women should adorn themselves in respectable (proper- NASB) apparel, with modesty and self-control.” Her appearance is mentioned first (which we will talk about in the next point), but the “how;” how she needs to adorn herself is given in the second part of this verse: “with modesty and self-control.” If you are going to be respectful in your clothing towards God and your brothers and sisters in Christ, it must come from a heart that it is concerned with modesty and self-control. Your clothing (whether you like it or not) is a public declaration of what is, or is not going on in your heart. Your clothing sends a message as to whether modesty is a concern of yours. The ways you think about clothing will be different from the world.
“women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.”
Let’s look at these 2 words for a moment:
First: modesty, or propriety depending on your translation. This is talking about avoiding clothing that is going to bring attention to yourself. Is it revealing? Is it sexually enticing? How about this: Is it extravagant? Is it showy? Immodesty is so much more than wearing a low cut shirt or a short skirt! Immodesty is all about drawing undue attention to yourself or putting yourself on display. What is the Biblical term that speaks of someone that wants to bring attention to themselves instead of the Lord? The term is pride, or arrogance. I heard a really good quote when I was preparing for this lesson that said “Modesty is humility expressed in the way we dress.” Once again, “modesty is humility expressed in dress.” Your dress, when it is modest, shows that you are not thinking of promoting yourself or having your clothing or body to be on display for others to focus on. A modest heart shows that you do not want to be the object of sensuality, lust, covetousness, jealousy, etc. This is what modesty is ALL about. It is about the message that you want your clothes to say about you.
**** But I want to throw this out there so I am not misunderstood. I am not saying that every person who dresses immodestly has a problem with pride and wants people to notice them by overdressing or wearing revealing clothing. It may be the case that we just don’t understand or think about how our clothing brings attention to ourselves. We may be ignorant of how a certain outfit reveals too much or that certain jewelry, a pair of shoes, or any piece of clothing we wear may bring unneeded attention to ourselves.
Self-control- your translation may say “discretion, sobriety, or moderation.” The idea is this: What kind of restraint are you showing in what you are wearing? When we look at the women in this world, I am sure we would agree that not much restraint is used at all! The Greek word can also mean “sanity/in your right mind.” I like this definition, because as I see some of the things that people put on, I think to myself that these people did not think before they put on what they did! Some people, men and women alike, in my opinion, are just crazy for what they put on! For those who are godly, what you wear should show others around you that you have set boundaries for yourself based on what God teaches in His word and not based on the world.
The majority of clothing designers, when they design the latest clothing and fashions, are not concerned about modesty or showing any restraint whatsoever in some of their designs, but you as a godly man or woman need to think about it.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS: Here are some application questions to ask yourself about your concern, or lack of modesty and self-control:
•What message does your clothes preach about your heart?
•Do you show restraint in your shopping? Do you decide before you even go shopping that you will not buy clothing that will put you on display instead of the Lord?
• In choosing clothing, whose attention and approval do you desire to receive?
THE CLOTHING OF THE MODEST PERSON
“women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire”
Paul in the context of this verse is showing us the kind of actions and hearts that we need to have before our brothers and sisters in Christ and before unbelievers as we go out into the world, not just in our worship assemblies. No matter where they are, the men are to lift holy hands in prayer and not to bring disruption through attitudes of anger and quarreling, and in all circumstances the women are to be respectful in their dress and not bring distractions due to their dress. This applies to wherever we are. God's standard does not change based on location. We are to be modest.
Also in this text, it seems that the women were overdressing to identify their social status, and in so doing, separate themselves or create barriers between them and those who may be poorer. What they were doing in the clothing and jewelry they were putting on, or in the braiding of their hair, once again, was bringing attention to themselves through worldly means.
On its own, your dress does not make you who you are. This is an important point to remember. Your dress does not make you who you are. Your relationship with Christ is what makes you who you are.
1 Peter 3:3-4 "Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."
When men, women, and especially God looks at you, what do you want them to see? How you look outwardly or inwardly? Do they see too much skin, clothes that were too tight, or a godly person? Do they see your style or your good works? When people look at you, they need to see Christ living in you! They should see someone who is a servant, someone that is faithful in encouraging their brethren and the lost, someone that is full of love and compassion for others. But this may not be the case if you are dressed in immodest clothing.
What is Immodest Clothing?
I believe once we see the root of the issue, which is bringing attention to ourselves in our clothing, that the question, “What clothing is immodest?” should answer itself. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Sisters: You need to honestly examine your hearts and your wardrobe and be willing to get rid of clothes that may be too revealing, to tight, too short. It is just a fact that if you wear something that is revealing part of your body that is shaded in on this slide (from bust to knees), you may bring more attention to your body than you anticipated when you put it on. It is just a fact that 60-70% of men may be tempted to lust if this part of your body is revealed by tight clothing or not enough clothing. 90% of men will notice your immodesty. I plead with you my sisters: please, please love your brothers in Christ enough to think about this. I can say this from experience: “It is very difficult to look at a sister in Christ as someone who loves me and cares about me (or the Lord) if she is not dressing modestly.”
Brothers: There is no reason for us to think that we have a different standard when it comes to modesty. We have an equal responsibility to be modest and to make sure the same areas of our body are not revealed by either a lack of clothing or clothing that is too tight. God didn’t just give Eve a tunic to cover her nakedness and shame. He gave Adam a tunic also to cover his nakedness, and I believe it is safe to say that those tunics covered the same parts of the body on Adam than Eve’s did.
All: Also, let’s once again not forget what Paul is focusing on when he refers to modesty in scripture. We first think about a lack of clothing when we think about immodesty, but when Paul mentions this subject, he talks about bringing attention to ourselves by over-dressing. Are you wearing too much jewelry? How about your hair style? Does it distract others?
If the first thing that people like to talk about when they see you walk into worship is what you are wearing (your style/fashion), you may need to make some changes in what you wear! You are not necessarily wearing respectable, modest clothing when you are wearing the most extravagant and flashy stuff you got. What may be respectable and modest towards God and your brethren is to “fit in” with your brethren, especially when you come to worship.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS:
• Was there someone today who desired to come and worship God, but was distracted by either your clothing, the amount of jewelry you are wearing, the “flashiness/showiness” of your clothes, or parts of your body that should not be visible?
• Are you noticed more for your clothing or for your good works? What is more eye-catching about you, your clothing or your character? Does your clothing make you stand out like a sore thumb as you assemble with the saints?
• How often do you allow others to evaluate your clothing (women: your father or husband, or other godly women, especially older godly women. Brothers: your father, your wife if you are married)? (When was the last time you heard of a man asking someone if a certain piece of clothing was distracting or brought too much attention to them?)
COMMITMENT OF THE MODEST PERSON
What do you think it is that is motivating Paul to write these things to the church? The answer lies in verses 1-7 of this chapter. Let’s not separate verses 8-12 from the other things that Paul says in the chapter. Let’s read verses 3-6:
“This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. “
The reason why Paul commands men to be without anger and quarreling and women to be respectful and modest in their dress is: THE SALVATION OF SOULS.
Your attitude, your conduct, and your dress show your commitment or lack of it to the salvation of souls. It is a shame when the dress of God’s people can lead others to fall into the sins of lust, covetousness, and jealously.
YOUR DRESS CAN CAUSE A BROTHER OR SISTER IN CHRIST TO STUMBLE. You are to not be a stumbling block to the lost and saved alike by revealing too much skin that should not be on display or by dressing in a way that may make it harder for others to approach you to ask you about Christ. This world is a minefield for us because of immodesty! Men especially struggle so much with lust, with sexual temptation, with temptations to look at pornography, and so on. And it can be so discouraging when even amongst those who we expect to not have these kinds of temptations, among God’s people; we have the same things in our face to distract us and cause us to stumble. I have been in assemblies in which I could not look to one side of the room while I was teaching because of immodest dress.
Please remember the admonition of the Lord: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” You have the responsibility to put some effort into making sure that you do not bring undue attention to yourself in what you put on your body.
Please don’t go away from this lesson thinking that it is only the men’s responsibility to fight against lust. Sisters, It is your responsibility also. If you have the kind of attitude that says, “I can wear whatever I want and it’s the guy’s responsibility to keep their eyes in check,” you are not displaying the character of Christ. This would be on par with saying, “Yes, my brothers have struggles, but I am not going to change anything in my dress to show I care.” Paul said in Romans 14:21 that “It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.”
Please care enough about the souls of your brothers and sisters in Christ, and for the souls of the lost, to not throw a stumbling block before them. Paul also says in 1 Corinthians 10:31-33:
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God-- 33 even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”
We would do well to follow in our brother Paul’s example, showing the same love for our brothers and sisters in what we put on our bodies. The salvation of souls is worth giving up your favorite clothing, jewelry, hairstyle, etc. that may be immodest.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS:
• Are you willing to part with things that you wear that can cause others to stumble?
• Are you willing to put the souls of others ahead of your love for what you wear?
CONCLUDING REMARKS
• Seek personal feedback on your attire from the godly men and women in your life.
• Let your good works outshine your outward appearance. (1 Timothy 2:10)
• Is there someone you need to show concern for when it comes to their apparel; a particular outfit, jewelry, etc?
ARE YOU CLOTHED WITH CHRIST?
• If you are not a Christian, immodesty is just one of the many sins that are keeping you from fellowship with Christ
– Because of your sin, you are a criminal before God.
– God makes forgiveness possible through Jesus Christ.
– He offers you mercy from His wrath which all who do not know Christ will suffer
– Obey the gospel:
• Believe the gospel (Acts 16:31)
• Repent of your sins (Luke 13:3)
• Submit to Jesus Christ and confess Him as Lord (Romans 10:9-10)
• Be clothed with Christ by being baptized into Christ (Gal 3:26-27). “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” (NASB)
CHRISTIANS: ARE YOU LOOKING TO OTHERS AS YOUR LORD WOULD?
• Guilty of the sin of immodesty?
• Repent, and pray that this sin may be forgiven you
If there is anything we can do to help you come to know the Lord or to grow as a believer in helping you to overcome sin in your life, please let your need be known.
Works Cited:
This sermon is adapted from a lesson by CJ Mahaney titled "the heart of modesty."
