Series: For Better or For Worse Pt. 6
"Raising Cain"
Genesis 4:1-15
Genesis 4:1 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.
INTRODUCTION: In today's message we see the birth of the first two human beings on earth through the procreative process designed by God. We do not know how Adam felt about the birth of these two boys but Eve seems to have been very pleased in spite of the pains of child birth that she experienced because of the fall. As we read this narrative about these first children born into the world it is difficult to comprehend how they could grow up to be so different yet it is there recorded for us in God's Word. We are told that the first boy was named Cain which means "acquisition, fabrication or possessed" (Lockyer) and the second was named Abel which means "breathe or vapor" which is prophetic since his life was as short as a breath! We have nothing from their early years that might give us a clue as to why they both turned out the way that they did but it is certain the Adam and Eve had a profound influence of these brothers growing up. All recent studies point to the fact that the most influential people in the lives of children are their parents not their peers! I know that's hard for some of us to grasp but it is true nonetheless. Children are by and large the product of the example that they see. These examples can be very powerful and therefore influential. I heard the following story about the power of an example:
ILL - President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine with him at the White House. Unsure of their table manners, the guests decided to imitate the president. They watched closely to see which utensils he used, what foods he ate and when. Their strategy seemed to succeed until coffee was served. Coolidge poured some coffee into his saucer. They did the same. He added sugar and cream. His guests did, too. Then the president bent over and put his saucer on the floor for the cat! Be careful whose example you follow. Amen?
When I'm working on a sermon the Lord brings me into contact with thoughts and truths that He wants me to share. Just recently I recently read an article entitled "How To Raise a Pagan in a Christian Home" and I want to tell you that it stunned me! The very idea is almost beyond my comprehension. Can you guess who I thought of as I read this article? You guessed it, I thought of Cain, Cain the first child born into the human family who would grow up to become the first murderer. How could this happen? Just think about how many times we have seen episodes of murder and mayhem perpetrated by young people today? Just yesterday there was another school shooting in Colorado almost on the anniversary of the slaughter of the innocents at Sandy Hook Elementary. The answer is yes it can and it is happening today. I want to share two things that are fairly obvious about how Cain became the person that he was. First:
I. CAIN LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A LIVING BUT NOT HOW TO LIVE
a. Parents and a child's vocation
There is every reason to believe from the language of Genesis 3-4 that Adam spent his days involved in agriculture. He tilled the ground and tended sheep. (he had been placed in the Garden to "...to dress it and to keep it...") with dominion over all the "cattle" and that Cain chose the former vocation while Abel chose the latter. In chapter 4:2 we are told that Adam's first born was a "...tiller of the ground..." Abel on the other hand was "...a keeper of sheep..." (He was a shepherd) Now let me say from the outset that I don't think that there was any big difference between what these men did for a living, the difference lay in why they did it. Farming has been and continues to be an honorable occupation. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, "Don't complain about farmers with your mouth full!"
Did Adam and Eve teach their two sons how to make a living or did they teach them how to live? To start with every parent must see their children as gifts from the Lord. This was Eve's attitude and she plainly states as much. Genesis 4:1 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. (Jehovah) Since children are a gift from God are you willing to give them to the Lord for Him to use any way He sees fit. How would you feel if your child announced that God had called them into the mission field or called them to preach? What would be your reaction?
I believe that the real difference was that Cain saw his harvest as the fruit of his own labor while Abel saw the increase of his flocks as a gift from God.
b. Parent's and a child's values
Basically our children are going to value what we value. How will they know what we value? The will know what we value we they see what we invest our time and treasure in! Jesus said that, "...where you treasure is, there will your heart be also."
c. Parent's and a child's virtues
Children have to be taught what is right and wrong. Has it ever occurred to you that you do not have to teach your children to lie? Because they have a fallen nature we have to teach them not to lie!
II. CAIN LEARNED ABOUT RELIGION BUT NOT ABOUT RELATIONSHIP
One thing that we can absolutely say for certain is that these two men learned everything they knew about worship from observing their parents. Remember that there was no church, no Bible, no priest or preacher, none of the trappings of religion in either type or shadow, nothing but what they saw in the lives of their parents to shape them in their worship of God.
D. Greg Ebie writes: "Children learn to worship and relate to God first and best from their parents! Parents have the responsibility to train their children to know God in a personal way. It is not the role of the church to provide the primary religious instruction for children; the church is to assist parents by reinforcing what children have already learned at home. Don't expect the church to undo in a couple of hours each week what you have taught your children the other 166 hours of the week. It is within the family that children will learn together from their parents how to relate to God."
Deuteronomy 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
What should parents teach their children about worship?
a. Worship must be principled
The Bible tells us "In the course (process) of time" Cain and Abel brought offerings before the Lord. How did they come to do this? I believed they learned how to offer sacrifices from their father Adam who had learned from God when Adam and Eve's sinned in the garden. Cain and Able are not just a couple of teen-age boys offering sacrifices; I believe they are men who have now have families of their own (when God punishes Cain for his sin he takes his wife with him). We mistakenly get the idea that there was only a handful of people on the earth when this happened, but Cain feared that someone would find him and kill him for what he had done. The family of Adam and Eve had multiplied just as God had told them to replenish the earth. So with the passage of time Cain and Able now had families of their own and took the position to offer sacrifices unto the Lord on behalf of their families just as they had watched and learned from the example of their father. But the outcome of their offerings was very different. This is why God can tell Cain that his offering would be accepted if he did what was right; in other words if Cain followed the pattern or example shown to him by his father then his offering would be accepted. D. Greg Ebie
b. Worship must be personal
God responds to us INDIVIDUALLY. It's not who your parents are, or who your siblings might be that matters. What counts is your personal relationship with God. Some want to argue that it was just Cain's attitude or motive that was wrong; they will point to the grain offerings instituted under the law and point to Hebrews 11 that says "By faith Able offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did." I'm not going to argue the importance of faith; yes Cain had a faith problem; that's because I believe he also had an obedience problem. I see Cain doing something new. Remember we are in Genesis 4 here; this is early on in the history of the human race. There is no nation of Israel, no tabernacle, no priesthood; it's very possible that there are no daily offerings being made to the Lord. The only other sacrifice recorded thus far in scripture is the shedding of blood when God killed an animal to cover Adam and Eve's nakedness. I believe that through that event Adam learned the importance of a blood sacrifice for the covering of sin. And that is why God did not look on Cain's sacrifice with favor; Cain's offering lacked the shedding of blood. Hebrews 9:22 Without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sins.
c. Worship must be penitential
Notice Cain's response when he realizes that his offering is not acceptable to the Lord. It's recorded for us in verses 6-7.
Genesis 4:6 And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
"Which was said not as being ignorant of his wrath and resentment, but to bring him to a conviction of his sin or sins, which were the cause of God's rejecting his sacrifice, and to repentance and amendment; and to show him that he had no cause to be displeased, either with him or his brother, for the different treatment of him and his offering; since the fault lay in himself, and he had none to blame but his own conduct, which for the future he should take care to regulate according to the divine will, and things would take a different turn." Gill's Exposition of the Bible
Cain's fundamental problem is internal not external. It not so much a problem of what he brought to the Lord but how he brought it. His heart was not right and this is revealed in his reaction. Even when the Lord gives him the opportunity to repent he responds with defiance and discontent. Later this smoldering discontent boils over into a murderous rage resulting in the slaughter of his brother.
How do you avoid raising a Cain in a Christian home? Let me share something from an article I read that I hope will be helpful.
"Three Common Traits of Youth Who Do Not Leave Church" by Jon Nielson "What do we do about our kids?" The group of parents sat together in my office, wiping their eyes. I'm a high school pastor, but for once, they weren't talking about 16-year-olds drinking and partying. Each had a story to tell about a "good Christian" child, raised in their home and in our church, who had walked away from the faith during the college years. These children had come through our church's youth program, gone on short-term mission trips, and served in several different ministries during their teenage years. Now they didn't want anything to do with it anymore. And, somehow, these mothers' ideas for our church to send college students "care packages" during their freshman year to help them feel connected to the church didn't strike me as a solution with quite enough depth.
The daunting statistics about churchgoing youth keep rolling in. Panic ensues. What are we doing wrong in our churches, in our youth ministries?
It's hard to sort through the various reports and find the real story. And there is no one easy solution for bringing all of those "lost" kids back into the church, other than continuing to pray for them and speaking the gospel into their lives. However, we can all look at the 20-somethings in our churches who are engaged and involved in ministry. What is it that sets apart the kids who stay in the church? Here are just a few observations I have made about such kids, with a few applications for those of us serving in youth ministry."
1. They are converted.
The Apostle Paul, interestingly enough, doesn't use phrases like "nominal Christian" or "pretty good kid." The Bible doesn't seem to mess around with platitudes like: "Yeah, it's a shame he did that, but he's got a good heart." When we listen to the witness of Scripture, particularly on the topic of conversion, we find that there is very little wiggle room. Listen to these words: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Cor. 5:17) We youth pastors need to get back to understanding salvation as what it really is: a miracle that comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy Spirit.
We need to stop talking about "good kids." We need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and fun retreats. We need to start getting on our knees and praying that the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work in the hearts of our students as the Word of God speaks to them. In short, we need to get back to a focus on conversion. How many of us are preaching to "unconverted evangelicals"? Youth pastors, we need to preach, teach, and talk--all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work of regeneration to occur in the hearts and souls of our students by the power of the Holy Spirit! When that happens--when the "old goes" and the "new comes"--it will not be iffy. We will not be dealing with a group of "nominal Christians." We will be ready to teach, disciple, and equip a generation of future church leaders--"new creations"!--who are hungry to know and speak God's Word. It is converted students who go on to love Jesus and serve the church.
2. They have been equipped, not entertained.
Recently, we had "man day" with some of the guys in our youth group. We began with an hour of basketball at the local park, moved to an intense game of 16" ("Chicago Style") softball, and finished the afternoon by gorging ourselves on meaty pizzas and 2-liters of soda. I am not against fun (or gross, depending on your opinion of the afternoon I just described) things in youth ministry. But youth pastors especially need to keep repeating the words of Ephesians 4:11-12 to themselves: "[Christ] gave...the teachers to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ." Christ gives us--teachers--to the church, not for entertainment, encouragement, examples, or even friendship primarily. He gives us to the church to "equip" the saints to do gospel ministry in order that the church of Christ may be built up.
If I have not equipped the students in my ministry to share the gospel, disciple a younger believer, and lead a Bible study, then I have not fulfilled my calling to them, no matter how good my sermons have been. We pray for conversion; that is all we can do, for it is entirely a gracious gift of God. But after conversion, it is our Christ-given duty to help fan into flame a faith that serves, leads, teaches, and grows. If our students leave high school without Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and prayer, we have lost them. We have entertained, not equipped them...and it may indeed be time to panic!
Forget your youth programs for a second. Are we sending out from our ministries the kind of students who will show up to college in a different state, join a church, and begin doing the work of gospel ministry there without ever being asked? Are we equipping them to that end, or are we merely giving them a good time while they're with us? We don't need youth group junkies; we need to be growing churchmen and churchwomen who are equipped to teach, lead, and serve. Put your youth ministry strategies aside as you look at that 16-year-old young man and ask: "How can I spend four years with this kid, helping him become the best church deacon and sixth-grade Sunday school class teacher he can be, ten years down the road?"
3. Their parents preached the gospel to them.
As a youth pastor, I can't do all this. All this equipping that I'm talking about is utterly beyond my limited capabilities. It is impossible for me to bring conversion, of course, but it is also impossible for me to have an equipping ministry that sends out vibrant churchmen and churchwomen if my ministry is not being reinforced tenfold in the students' homes. The common thread that binds together almost every ministry-minded 20-something that I know is abundantly clear: a home where the gospel was not peripheral but absolutely central. The 20-somethings who are serving, leading, and driving the ministries at our church were kids whose parents made them go to church. They are kids whose parents punished them and held them accountable when they were rebellious. They are kids whose parents read the Bible around the dinner table every night. And they are kids whose parents were tough but who ultimately operated from a framework of grace that held up the cross of Jesus as the basis for peace with God and forgiveness toward one another.
This is not a formula! Kids from wonderful gospel-centered homes leave the church; people from messed-up family backgrounds find eternal life in Jesus and have beautiful marriages and families. But it's also not a crapshoot. In general, children who are led in their faith during their growing-up years by parents who love Jesus vibrantly, serve their church actively, and saturate their home with the gospel completely, grow up to love Jesus and the church. The words of Proverbs 22:6 do not constitute a formula that is true 100 percent of the time, but they do provide us with a principle that comes from the gracious plan of God, the God who delights to see his gracious Word passed from generation to generation: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
