Randy Newman wrote a song called, "You Got a Friend in Me". Most folks recognize this song as the theme to the popular Toy Story franchise. According to Randy a real friend is someone who loves you and sticks with you even through your worst troubles. This is a great definition of what a friend is, but for me, it falls short of what I want in in a real friend. Everyone needs friends. The reason the Toy Story franchise is so popular is because everyone can relate to the idea of having friends who stick with you no matter what.
But for followers of Jesus this definition doesn't go far enough. There's something more we're looking for in a close friend other than just someone who will stick with us in tough times. To find out what we're really looking for in a friend, we need to turn our attention from Toy Story to Jesus.
The Bible shares a bunch of stories about friends. Some of the more common stories are about David and Jonathan, Daniel and his friends, Jesus and Peter, James and John, Paul and Silas and many others. All of these stories have a common theme when we talk about who real friends are. A close and real friend will love God with you. You will find a shared love for God as a common theme in all of these stories about friends. David and Jonathan shared a love for God more than they loved their own families, Daniel and his friends shared a love for God more than they loved their own lives, Jesus and his friends shared a love for God more than they loved anything else in the world, Paul and Silas shared a love for God more than they loved their freedom.
Jesus followers don't look for Toy Story kind of friends. We find friends who fit the definition that Jesus gave us. Here's what Jesus said a friend is, "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me." John 15:12-15
There's two things here that grab my attention when I want to define what a close friend is to me.
The first one is that my closest friends will love me as Jesus loves them.
Jesus said, "Love each other the same way I have loved you." Only those who have genuinely given their life to Jesus know what love really is. The Bible defines love: "This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." 1 John 4:10
Jesus said that your closest friends should love as He loves. We have a purpose. That purpose is to love people like Jesus loves, to serve people like Jesus serves. We are to be like Jesus in this world so that others will see who He is and want to follow Him too. And our closest friends walk beside us as we live as followers of Jesus because they love Jesus as Jesus loves them.
Even though many in our world will choose not to live this way, we are not the judge, or the jury to determine who is worthy of God’s love, who is worthy of Salvation, we are simply called to love and serve like Jesus in the world, and allow God to be the judge of His creation. I make friends with people who don't know Jesus so that I can love them and bless them in Jesus name, but, my closest friends, my inner circle is reserved for those who will encourage me to live out my faith in Jesus because they love God, too. My closest friends love me as Jesus loves them.
The second thing that grabs my attention is that my closest friends obey Jesus.
Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command " I have a lot of friends. I have 1,539 facebook friends. I guess that makes me a popular guy. Of course if I compared how many facebook friends I have to the popular rapper Eminem he has over 76 million, so maybe I'm not that popular. The point is that I have a lot of friends. I'm blessed that I have friends all over the world. But not every friend of mine is a close friend. Not every person that I consider a friend is someone that I would confide in. I have many friends who don't love God. Who don't believe the Bible is the Word of God. I have friends who have no hope for an eternal life with God because they refuse to live for Jesus.
My closest friends, the ones I look to for encouragement to obey Jesus, are not perfect. We share that in common. But they want to obey Jesus more than anything because they love Him. And we share that in common. There are three Scriptures in particular that help me see why I want close friends who obey Jesus.
"Don’t be fooled... “bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33
"Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14
"...Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God." James 4:4
These three verses paint a compelling picture of what I'm looking for in a very close friend. I need people in my life who obey Jesus because they love Him. And I'm going to be very careful with my friends who are friends with the world. I don't need them to be my closest allies.
Jesus defines a close friend. Someone who loves me as Jesus loves them and who obeys Jesus because they love Him.
For just a moment I want to ask you to take an inventory of your friends. Who are your closest friends? Who are the allies you turn to when you need encouragement in your walk with Jesus? Who is it that you confess your sins to? Who do you seek out when you need prayer for a very personal struggle? Who do you listen to when you need wisdom or advice?
According to Jesus and the Bible, if you're a Jesus follower and the friends you turn to don't love you as Jesus loves you and obey Him because they love Him, you're turning to the wrong people for help and support.
Sometimes you don't have much of a choice though. I've talked to military veterans who are life long friends with those they fought with in their unit who are unbelievers. I'm not suggesting you lose friends because they're not followers of Jesus. We need friends. I have friends who hate God, but, I want to love them so they can see God. Another example applies to those who are married to an unbeliever. Paul teaches those who are in this situation to live a faithful life in the home because their spouse might decide to follow Jesus simply because of the example lived out every day.
The Bible tells me not to be like everyone else. I don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but I allow God to transform me into a new person by changing the way I think. There’s no such thing as perfection. Only Jesus was perfect. But we're commanded by our Boss to live a certain way, so we seek holiness instead of happiness. We make daily decisions to be a follower of Jesus rather than deny or betray him. Some days we'll do better at this than others. For the Jesus follower we know the victory of Jesus. We are also aware of our failures. Our ultimate victory is conquering death. Our eternal security is in Jesus. This world has nothing permanent to offer us.
Do your closest friends believe and live the same way?
